If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front
leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person
died of natural causes.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,
silver and purple.
Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted
people without killing them use to burn their houses down -
hence the expression "to get fired."
Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".
There are two credit cards for every person in the United
States.
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on
July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the
rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added
until 5 years later.
"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English
language.
The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots
in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the
ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured
exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the
pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9
yards."
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."
The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
Until 1965, driving was done on the left-hand side on roads in
Sweden. The conversion to right-hand was done on a weekday
at 5pm. All traffic stopped as people switched sides. This time
and day were chosen to prevent accidents where drivers would
have gotten up in the morning and been too sleepy to realize
that *this* was the day of the changeover.
The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during
World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
Dr. Seuss pronounced "Seuss" such that it rhymed with
"rejoice."
In Casablanca, Humphrey Bogart never said "Play it again,
Sam."
Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air
crashes.
The term, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye"
is from Ancient Rome. The only rule during wrestling matches
was, "No eye gouging." Everything else was allowed, but the
only way to be disqualified was to poke someone's eye out.
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that
makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.
Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a
calorie.
The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law
which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything
wider than your thumb.
An ostrich's eye is bigger that it's brain.
The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up.
The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is
dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses it's forearms to
dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the
stomach back down again.
White Out was invented by the mother of Mike Nesmith
(Formerly of the Monkees).
In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a
building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving
than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes
about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax
and correct itself.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two
weeks: otherwise it will digest itself.
101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two
Disney cartoon features with both parents that are present and
don't die throughout the movie.
'Stewardesses' is the longest word that is typed with only the
left hand.
A whale's penis is called a dork.
To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs
into its eyeballs-it will let you go instantly.
Reindeer like to eat bananas.
The average person falls asleep in seven
minutezzzzzzzzzzzz..........
Coca-Cola was originally green.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US
Treasury
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.
Smartest dogs: 1) Scottish border collie; 2) Poodle; 3) Golden
Retriever. Dumbest: Afghan hound.
Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear
better.
Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one
olive from each salad served first class: $40,000
City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong
State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33
Average number of days a West German goes without
washing his underwear: 7
Percentage of American men who say they would marry the
same woman if they had it to do all over again: 80%
Percentage of American women who say they'd marry the
same man: 50%
Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
Average number of people airborne over the US any given
hour: 61,000.
Percentage of Americans who have visited Disneyland/Disney
World: 70%
Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.
Only President to win a Pulitzer: John F. Kennedy for Profiles
in Courage
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China
in 1910.
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other
nation.
First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
In the 1940s, the FCC assigned television's Channel 1 to
mobile services (two-way radios in taxicabs, for instance) but
did not re-number the other channel assignments. That is why
your TV set has channels 2 and up, but no channel 1.
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National
Monuments
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating
a letter is uncopyrightable.
Hang On Sloopy is the official rock song of Ohio.
Did you know that there are coffee flavored PEZ?
The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days
of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses
were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk
up straight staircases.
The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie."
(Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)
When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not "playing."
They actually pass out from sheer terror.
The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch
every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take
into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the
building.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king
from
history.
Spades - King David,
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne,
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in
every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable
as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
David Prowse was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star
Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he
was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw
the screening of the movie.
In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army
for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many
bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s, the
state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate
toilet facilities for blacks and whites.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches
for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
Cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest
point in Colorado.
Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.
If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you
have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in
coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
No NFL team which plays its home games in a domed
stadium has ever won a Superbowl.
The first toilet ever seen on television was on "Leave It To
Beaver".
The only two days of the year in which there are no
professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the
day before and the day after the Major League all-stars Game.
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
Alaska could hold the 21 smallest States
Before Prohibition, Shlitz Brewery owned more property in
Chicago than anyone else, except the Catholic church.
If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep
floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.
Kermit the Frog is left-handed.
Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
The car in the foreground on the back of a $10 bill is a 1925
Hupmobile.
Dr. Seuss and Kurt Vonnegut went to college together. They
were even in the same fraternity, where Seuss decorated the
fraternity house walls with 20 drawings of his characters.
If you can see a rainbow you must have your back to the sun.
If you don't, you can't see it.
It's rumored that sucking on a copper penny will cause a
breathalyzer to read 0.
Dogs and humans are the only animals with prostates.
The highest scoring word in the English language game of
Scrabble is 'Quartzy'. This will score 164 points if played
across a red triple-word square with the Z on a light blue
double-letter square. It will score 162 points if played across
two pink double-word squares with the Q and the Y on those
squares. 'Bezique' and Cazique' are next with a possible 161
points. All three words score an extra 50 points for having
seven letters and therefore emptying the letter rack in one go.
Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40,320 ways to
arrange the other eight reindeer.
The dial tone of a normal telephone is in the key of "F".
The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable
from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused
at a crime scene.
In the four major US professional sports (baseball, basketball,
football, and hockey), there are only seven teams whose
nicknames do not end with an "S:" Basketball: The Miami
Heat, The Utah Jazz, The Orlando Magic. Baseball: The
Boston Red Sox, The Chicago White Sox. Hockey: The
Colorado Avalanche, The Tampa Bay Lightning. Football:
None.
Beelzebub, another name for the devil, is Hebrew for Lord of
the Flies, and this is where the book's title comes from.
It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the
King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46,
the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word
from the last word is spear.
The ship, the Queen Elizabeth 2, should always be written as
QE2. QEII is the actual queen.
There were no squirrels on Nantucket Island, Massachusetts
until 1989.
The correct response to the Irish greeting, "Top of the morning
to you, " is "and the rest of the day to yourself."
The Les Nessman character on the TV series WKRP in
Cincinnati wore a bandaid in every episode, either on himself,
his glasses, or his clothing.
Columbia University is the second largest landowner in New
York City, after the Catholic Church.
When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at
home to a sellout crowd, the stadium becomes the state's third
largest city.
John Larroquette of "NightCourt" and "The John Larroquette
Show" was he narrator of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre."
In 1963, baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They'll put
a man on the moon before I hit a home run." On July 20, 1969,
a few hours after Neil Armstrong set foot on the moon,
Gaylord Perry hit his first, and only, home run.
Gilligan of Gilligan's Island had a first name that was only
used once, on the never-aired pilot show. His first name was
Willy.
Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the U.S., but technically it is
Number 47. Until August 7, 1953, Congress forgot to vote on
a resolution to admit Ohio to the Union.
When Saigon fell, the signal for all Americans to evacuate was
Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" being played on the radio.
The pet ferret (Mustela putorias furo) was domesticated more
than 500 years before the house cat.
The dome on Monticello, Thomas Jefferson's home, conceals
a billiards room. In Jefferson's day, billiards were illegal in
Virginia.
The term "devil's advocate" comes from the Roman Catholic
church. When 20 of the church's most important convene in
deciding if someone should be sainted, a devil's advocate is
always appointed to give an alternative view.
The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."
Uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western
Union to Test telex/twx communications)
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting
license.
It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for
a year's supply of footballs.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for
dating are already married.
There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's
Big Mac bun.
The world's termites outweigh the world's humans 10 to 1.
Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than new cars.
The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-
Cola, and Budweiser in that order.
When Heinz ketchup leaves the bottle, it travels at a rate of 25
miles per year.
The Bible has been translated into Klingon.
Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the
palms of their hands.
Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from
the sale of vodka.
On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every
year.
In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the
world's nuclear weapons combined.
Reno, Nevada is west of Los Angeles, California.
Average age of top GM executives in 1994: 49.8 years.
Average age of theRolling Stones: 50.6.
Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
Five Jell-O flavors that flopped: celery, coffee, cola, apple,
and chocolate.
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Adam And Eve
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Alabama Driver S License Application
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Anagrams
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Answering Machine Messages
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Application For White House Intern
Application To Become A Country Singer
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Are You Having A Bad Day?
Area 51
Arguments For Jesus S Ethnicity
Art Thou Normal?
AsWeSeeIt Site
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Assassin Interview
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Bad Times Virus Warning
Barbie S Letter To Santa
Barbies For Real Life
Baseball Analogies For Sex
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Bathroom Etiquette
Bathroom Joke
Battle Hymn Of Term Finals
Be Thankful For
Because You Re My Friend
Bedroom Golf Rules
Beer
Beer Quotes
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Before I Came To College I Wish I Had Known
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Best T-Shirts Of The Summer
Bird On The Beach
Bird S Legs
Birth Of A Candy Bar
Birthday Tree
Birthmonth And Your Personality
Bitchass Jones
Bits Of Info
Bizarre
Black Men In Elevator
Blind Man
Blonde Joke With Contracter
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Blonde Mail Call
Blondes On Top
Blow Jobs: Women Vs Men
Bob Knows Everybody
Born In 1979 Or 1980
Bottom Of The 9th
Box Of Tampons
Brain Cell Humor
Brain Piercing
Breast Stroke Race
Breasts Names
Bright Women
Britney Spears Parody
Bull Story
Bumper Stickers
Bumper Stickers And Quotes
Bungeee
Butterfly Kisses
Canadian Pride
Car Accident
Car Jokes
Carpenter Life Metaphor
Cat Haiku
Celebrity Relocation
Chain Letter For Men Only
Chain Letter For Women Only
Chicken Or The Egg?
Child Support
Children Of The 80 S II
Children Of The 80 S IV
Children S Advice
Children S Books You Will Never See
Children S Books That Didn T Make The Cut
Children S Opinions On Love
Christmas Party Memos
Church Bulletin Typos
Church Jokes
Circle Flies
Clinton Administration Joke
Clinton Joke
Clinton Joke (Not Involving Sex)
Clinton Joke 2
Clinton Jokes
Clinton S Speech Translated
College Acceptance
College Burger Joint Conversations
College Entrance Exam For Basketball Players
College Life
College Majors
College Seniors Vs Freshmen
College Student Confession
Colored Or Not?
Combining Books
Computer Acronyms
Computers: Male Or Female?
Condom Slogans
Condoms
Cool To Do Drugs
Corkscrew
Country Love Acronyms
Country S Strangest Suicide
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Creative Insults
Cross Nuns
Crying Pregnant Blonde
Cuckoo Clock
Cure For Snoring
CyberSex
Dalai Lama Millennium Message
Darwin Awards 1999
Dead Goldfish
Dead Rabbit Joke
Dear Dr Laura
Death Warning
Deathbed
Detailed Analysis Of The Spice Girls Wannabe
Differences Between High School And College
Dirty Nursery Rhymes
Dispelling Sexual Myths
Dissing Marriage
Diver S Bad Day At Work
Does God Still Speak To Men?
Dog Haiku
Dogs And Computers
Donkey In A Well
Dormitories
Dr Suess Does D C
Driver S Exam Questions
Drunk
Dumb Blonde Jokes
Dumb Lawyers
Dysfunctional X-Mas
E-Mail For A Widow
E-Mail From God
Ebonics Christmas
Eight Jokes
Election Logic Applied To Baseball
Election Logic Applied To Basketball
End-All Virus
Erma Bombeck S If I Had My Life To Live Over
Euphemisms For Your Man
EuroEnglish
Exercise?
FBI Pizza
Farming Pun
Fast And Easy Fruitcake
Feeling Fine
Female Comebacks
Female Drivers
Fictional State Mottos (Alternate)
Final Examination
Finals Story
Firedog Joke
Fireworks Story
Fishing
Five(5) Jokes
Five Hundred Dollars
Flipper In The Forest
Forrest In Everyone S Life
Forty-Seven
Fourth Of July
Freezing Hands
Friendship Quotes
Frog Pun
Frog Story
Frogs And Will Power
From The Desk Of Martha Stewart
Fuck
Fucking Checking Account
Fucking Friend Poem
Fun Things To Do At Yard Sales
Fun At The Drive-Thru
Funky Monkey Story
Funny Daily Affirmations
Funny Science Test Answers
Funny Signs
Funny Translations
Game For When We Re Older
Gay Cartoon Characters
Genesis: Take Two
George W Bush S Familiarable Quotations
Getting Old
Ghost Story
Glass Eye
Gloves
God Bulletin Boards
God Money
God Proves Existence Via Chalk
God Vs Government
Good-Bye Daddy
Goody Two Shoes
Gross Grade School Rhymes
Groucho Marx Quotes
Guardian Angel
Guillotine
Halloween Costume
Halloween Party
Heaven Scent
Heaven Or Hell?
Hell - Exothermic Or Endothermic?
Helpful Tips To Make Life Simpler
Henry Ford And God Compare Notes
Her First Time
Her First Time 2
Hermaphrodite
Hillbilly Love Poem
Hippie And The Bus Driver
Hit Me One More Time Parody
Holding In Her Brains
Holiday Diet Tips
Honk If You Love Jesus
Horoscopes For Southerners
Hospital Room
Hot Tub Tips For Women
How Do I Love Thee - West Indian Style
How Far Does The Computer Date Back?
How Many College Students Does Is Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?
How Much Does A Prayer Weigh?
How Old Are You?
How They Do It When It Comes To Sex
How To Impress A Woman Compared To A Man
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
How To Sing The Blues
IRS Fraud Warning
I Am Canadian
I Love You In About Every Language
I Ve Learned
Idiots
If Only Men Would Listen
In Bed
Installing Husband 1 0
Installing Wife 1 0
Integrated Coke
Internet Lingo
Introduction To Chinese
Ivy League Ads
Jack Handyisms For Tots
Jennifer S Profound Questions Of The Week
Jesus Influenza Story
Jesus Vs Satan
Job Search Lingo
Jock Or Nerd?
Jokes About Guys
Just Us Girls
Justice
Kids Take On Marriage
Lawyer Jokes
Learn Chinese In 5 Minutes
Lesbian Quotes
Letter To A West Virginia Mother To Her Daughter
Letters To Landlords
Life Instructions
Life In Reverse
Life In The 1500 S
Life In The 90 S
Life Is Better Than Being An Egg
Little Johnny, What Element Do You Want?
Little Johnny
Little Mary
Love Goes Around
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Managers Vs Engineers
Mark Twain And Spelling
Martha Stewart S Holiday Calandar
Mary Poppins Pun
Masturbation Song
Me Mudder
Meet The Jack Schitt Family
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Miracle Of A Brother S Song
Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall
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Muscles To Smile
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Music Definitions
Music Test Funnies
Mutually Sadistic English Assignment
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One Dime
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Only In America
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Performance Evaluations
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Randy The Rooster
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Reversal Of The Sexes
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Sith Lord: Position Available Immediately
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Sleeping With Mom
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Snow Diary
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Sotally Tober
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Take Off My Clothes
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The Finger
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Urban Legends All In One Letter
Vacuum Salesman
Van Gough S Relatives
Versailles
Veterinarian
Vibrator
Vincentian Vs American
Vulgarity Test
WORK Virus
Ways To Tell You Re Too Drunk
Wedgewood Shooting
Weird Job Interviews
Weird Local Sex Laws
What Day Is Your Birthday?
What Do You Call Your Dick?
What Does Your Name Mean? (Mean Version)
What Guys Names Mean
What Guys And Girls Are Really Saying
What Men Really Mean
What Are Dogs And Cats Really?
What Do You Want In A Woman?
What S Your Screen Name Mean?
When Santa Runs Out Of Prozac
Where Is God?
Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Why Dogs Are Better Pets Than Cats
Why Girls Like Guys And Vice Versa
Why God Never Got Tenure
Why I Fired My Secretary
Why Jesus Is Better Than Santa Claus
Why Nagging A Man Doesn T Work
Why We Should Feel Sorry For Tech Support
Wilbur And Martha
Windows 98 Southern Edition
Windows Errors In Haiku
Winter Wonderland Computer Parodies
Wisdom From The Bathroom Walls
Woman S Guide To Male Bashing
Women Rule
Women Are Bright Because
WordPerfect Helpline
Work Phrases
World S Shortest Books
Worms And Alcohol
Worst Analogies
Worst Country Songs
Y0K And Y1K Problems
Yo Mama So Stupid (and Ugly)
You Know You Re Getting Old When
You Know You Re An Idiot When
You Might Be A Yankee If
You Might Be From Lousiville If
You Might Have A Redneck Yard If
You Might Be A Redneck If
You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If
You Re Lost In The Generation Gap Between Baby Boomers And Generation X If
Yummy Fingers

