Seven Basic Types Of Chain Letters (Alternate)

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>THE SEVEN BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
>Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
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>Make a wish!!!
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>Really, go on and make one!!!
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>Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!
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>Wish something else!!!
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>Not that, you moron!!!
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>Something else! Quick!!!
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>Is your finger getting tired yet?
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>STOP!!!!
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>Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish.
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>Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you
don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked by
a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's
true!

Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is
TRUE!!

Really!!! Here's how it goes:

Send this to 1 person:
One person will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people:
2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
5-10 people:
5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupidchain letter.
10-20 people:
10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
20 to 674, 951 people:
20 to 674, 951 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain
letter.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

>Chain Letter Type 2
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>Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving
little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents,
and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time
you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless
Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no
way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out. Send
this to 5 people in the next 47seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will
die instantly. Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is
absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many
little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this
on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to
you like:

Stupid Horror Story #1

Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently
received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of
poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty,
she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

Stupid Horror Story #2

Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it.
Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his girlfriend. They both died.
Their families were so upset that everyone related to them (even by marriage)
went crazy and spent the rest of their miserable lives in an institution. This
Could Happen To You!!!

Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter to
all of your loser friends, and everything will be OK.

Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your
friends.

Friends

A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your
loser life,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really
thinkyoushould be
attacked by a mad goat and then thrown in a pile of manure,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check
and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry - that's the cleaning
lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish
of
being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild goats.

Chain Letter Type 5:
>This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by Microsoft to test its
>e-mail tracking system because, you know, a big high-tech company like
>Microsoft always sends important new software out over the internet to
>be available to any moron who can operate a computer, right? Plus, they
>have formed a secret merger with Disney Corp., who has agreed to give up
>millions of dollars in revenue by giving everyone who reads this e-mail,
>passes it on, looks at it, knows someone that looked at it, or is related
>to someone who is a friend of someone who looks at it A FREE,
>ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or EuroDisney! So
>pass this on to everyone you know that is gullible enough to believe this
(or not)!
>Even if it's not true, hey insulting all of your friends by implying that
they are
>gullible by sending this to them is worth the improbable chance that you
could go
>to Disneyland! Even if you lose all of your friends because they are tired
>of receiving this kind of junk from you, it's worth the chance, right?
>And just for good measure, if you don't send this on, Microsoft will send
>its specially trained attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your
family,
>SO SEND IT ON!!!!!

>Chain Letter Type 6:

>VIRUS WARNING!!!
>If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately.
>Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only
>erase everything on your hard drive,but it will also delete anything on
>disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on
>ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up
>the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch
>any CD's you attempt to play.
>It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your
>ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
>It will program your phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's
number.
>So be careful! Forward this to all of your friends, relatives,
>neighbors, family, enemies, plumbers, garbagemen, stock brockers,
>doctors, and any other acquaintances!
> It's for their own good! Thank you.


Chain Letter Type 7:

Here is a cute picture I drew.

(\ /)
( \ / )
( \ / )
( /<>\ )
( / \/ \ )
/ \ __
( ) ( )
~~~~

It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends so it will
brighten their day like it did yours! If you don't, demon-possessed goats
will move into your house and eat all of your socks, leading you to believe
that something is wrong with your washing machine because all of your socks
keep disappearing. Have a nice day!!!

There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the seven main types of chain
letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity, send
it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but otherwise
forward this sucker to everyone you know!! If you don't, I don't care, but why
not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it. Thanks!

Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it.
If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people feel
guilty (i.e. the goatless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e.
Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of turds) just delete it. Do
yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say, DEATH TO CHAIN
LETTERS!!"

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  426. [page] Signs You Had A Bad First Date
  427. [page] Signs You Ve Been In Band Too Long
  428. [page] Signs Your Presidential Candidate Isn T Right
  429. [page] Silly Names
  430. [page] Sith Lord: Position Available Immediately
  431. [page] Six Feet
  432. [page] Six Great Lessons
  433. [page] Six Reasons Tinky Winky Can T Be Gay
  434. [page] Skipping Class Rationalizations
  435. [page] Sleeping With Mom
  436. [page] Smart Blonde
  437. [page] Snow Diary
  438. [page] Social Darwinism
  439. [page] Sotally Tober
  440. [page] Special Diet
  441. [page] Special Diet (Variation)
  442. [page] Stages Of Life
  443. [page] Starfish Parable
  444. [page] State Mottoes
  445. [page] Story Made Up Of 80 S Song Titles
  446. [page] Strange, Stupid And Dumb Laws In Illinois
  447. [page] Strange Facts
  448. [page] Strange Facts 2
  449. [page] Strange Facts 3
  450. [page] Stranger Than Fiction
  451. [page] Stumpy And Martha
  452. [page] Subliminal Messages
  453. [page] Suggestive Question
  454. [page] Supermodel Wisdom
  455. [page] Surrogate Father
  456. [page] Swedish Humor
  457. [page] Take Off My Clothes
  458. [page] Technologically Challenged
  459. [page] Telepathic Watch
  460. [page] Ten Signs You Picked The Wrong ISP
  461. [page] The 80 S
  462. [page] The Balloonist
  463. [page] The Bank Account
  464. [page] The Beer Song
  465. [page] The Best Things About Being A Girl
  466. [page] The Bible In 50 Words
  467. [page] The Birdies
  468. [page] The Doll And A White Rose
  469. [page] The Eighties
  470. [page] The English Language
  471. [page] The Fence
  472. [page] The Finger
  473. [page] The History Of The World AP Style
  474. [page] The Homosexual Agenda
  475. [page] The Ideal Resume
  476. [page] The Last 10 Things A Man And A Woman Would Say
  477. [page] The Living Dead
  478. [page] The Man Who Loved Beans
  479. [page] The Mathematics Of Relationships
  480. [page] The Movies
  481. [page] The New Priest
  482. [page] The Old Lady Bet
  483. [page] The Perfect Joke
  484. [page] The Perfect Worker
  485. [page] The Six Basic Types Of Chain Letters
  486. [page] The South
  487. [page] The Stock Market
  488. [page] The Taco Bell Chihuahua
  489. [page] The Top 14 Special Powers Of The Young Darth Vader
  490. [page] The Ugly Duckling
  491. [page] The World S Thinnest Books
  492. [page] Things Guys Think Girls Should Know
  493. [page] Things I Must Remember - By A Puppy
  494. [page] Things You Don T Want To Hear Over An Airline PA System
  495. [page] Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies
  496. [page] Things That Bother Me
  497. [page] Things To Do At A Boring Movie
  498. [page] Things To Do At The Mall
  499. [page] Things To Say At Thanksgiving
  500. [page] This Year S Freshmen
  501. [page] Three Jokes
  502. [page] Three Strong Mice
  503. [page] Tickle-Me Elmo Factory
  504. [page] Time For God
  505. [page] Tips For A Lifetime
  506. [page] Tipsey Fruit Cake Recipe (Alternate)
  507. [page] Tipsy Fruit Cake Recipe
  508. [page] Titanic (the Short Sarcastic Version)
  509. [page] Titanic S Last Mystery Revealed
  510. [page] To My Dear Girlfriend
  511. [page] To Women Everywhere From A Man Who S Had Enough
  512. [page] Tom Swifties
  513. [page] Top 10 Reasons Eve Was Created
  514. [page] Top 10 Slogans Rejected By Motel 6
  515. [page] Top 10 Summer Camps You Should Not Send Your Kids To
  516. [page] Top 10 Signs That You Know It S Time To Join E-mailers Anonymous
  517. [page] Top 11 Reasons To Go To Work Naked
  518. [page] Top 12 Pick Up Lines And Comebacks
  519. [page] Top 21 Things Not To Say When Pulled Over
  520. [page] Top 25 Signs That You Have Already Grown Up
  521. [page] Top 33 Sexually Suggestive Lines In Star Wars
  522. [page] Top 36 Seminars For Males
  523. [page] Top 50 Things To Say When You Catch Your Roomate Having Sex
  524. [page] Top Seven Fears Of The Fabric Softener Bear
  525. [page] Top Ten Elf Pick-Up Lines
  526. [page] Top Ten Reasons Trick Or Treating Is Better Than Sex
  527. [page] Top Ten Reasons It Sucks To Be A Dick
  528. [page] Top Ten Rejected Slogans For Firestone Tires
  529. [page] Top Ten Rejection Lines Given By Men And Women
  530. [page] Top Ten Sex Jokes
  531. [page] Top Ten Signs You Re At A Redneck Wedding
  532. [page] Top Ten Things Men Understand About Women
  533. [page] Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
  534. [page] Top Ten Ways Y2K Will Affect Disney World
  535. [page] Trojan Horse Warning
  536. [page] Trouble In Heaven
  537. [page] True Ending To The Empire Strikes Back
  538. [page] Truisms
  539. [page] Truth About Reindeer
  540. [page] Twas The Month After X-Mas (Dieters Version)
  541. [page] Twas The Night Before X-Mas (Computer Version)
  542. [page] Twas The Week After X-Mas (Y2K Poem)
  543. [page] Twelve Gay Days Of X-Mas
  544. [page] Two Assholes
  545. [page] Two Blonde Jokes
  546. [page] Two Indians And A Polack
  547. [page] Two Italian Men
  548. [page] Two Things To Worry About
  549. [page] Universal Grade Change Form
  550. [page] Urban Legends All In One Letter
  551. [page] Vacuum Salesman
  552. [page] Van Gough S Relatives
  553. [page] Versailles
  554. [page] Veterinarian
  555. [page] Vibrator
  556. [page] Vincentian Vs American
  557. [page] Vulgarity Test
  558. [page] WORK Virus
  559. [page] Ways To Tell You Re Too Drunk
  560. [page] Wedgewood Shooting
  561. [page] Weird Job Interviews
  562. [page] Weird Local Sex Laws
  563. [page] What Day Is Your Birthday?
  564. [page] What Do You Call Your Dick?
  565. [page] What Does Your Name Mean? (Mean Version)
  566. [page] What Guys Names Mean
  567. [page] What Guys And Girls Are Really Saying
  568. [page] What Men Really Mean
  569. [page] What Are Dogs And Cats Really?
  570. [page] What Do You Want In A Woman?
  571. [page] What S Your Screen Name Mean?
  572. [page] When Santa Runs Out Of Prozac
  573. [page] Where Is God?
  574. [page] Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel
  575. [page] Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
  576. [page] Why Dogs Are Better Pets Than Cats
  577. [page] Why Girls Like Guys And Vice Versa
  578. [page] Why God Never Got Tenure
  579. [page] Why I Fired My Secretary
  580. [page] Why Jesus Is Better Than Santa Claus
  581. [page] Why Nagging A Man Doesn T Work
  582. [page] Why We Should Feel Sorry For Tech Support
  583. [page] Wilbur And Martha
  584. [page] Windows 98 Southern Edition
  585. [page] Windows Errors In Haiku
  586. [page] Winter Wonderland Computer Parodies
  587. [page] Wisdom From The Bathroom Walls
  588. [page] Woman S Guide To Male Bashing
  589. [page] Women Rule
  590. [page] Women Are Bright Because
  591. [page] WordPerfect Helpline
  592. [page] Work Phrases
  593. [page] World S Shortest Books
  594. [page] Worms And Alcohol
  595. [page] Worst Analogies
  596. [page] Worst Country Songs
  597. [page] Y0K And Y1K Problems
  598. [page] Yo Mama So Stupid (and Ugly)
  599. [page] You Know You Re Getting Old When
  600. [page] You Know You Re An Idiot When
  601. [page] You Might Be A Yankee If
  602. [page] You Might Be From Lousiville If
  603. [page] You Might Have A Redneck Yard If
  604. [page] You Might Be A Redneck If
  605. [page] You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If
  606. [page] You Re Lost In The Generation Gap Between Baby Boomers And Generation X If
  607. [page] Yummy Fingers