Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark
Side Consulting Group.
An unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side
Consulting Group for an Apprentice Sith Lord. The ideal
candidate for this position would like galactic travel and
possess a complete understanding of, and competence with the
Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn.
Duties include: Performing competitive intelligence, hands-on
intervention in support of the Sith Master's planning
initiatives, ability to travel the galaxy widely, and operating a
variety of laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered
space/air vehicles. Some slaying of enemies of the Dark Side
is also required, which may be performed using the Force or
Qualified applicants would possess good communications
skills (especially when speaking in menacing whispers), and
would be action-oriented individuals and risk takers. A
background in study of the Force (light side or dark) is
desirable, as would typically be acquired by those with
advanced degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from
the University of Coruscant.
Applicants should also be familiar with holographic projection
equipment, possess a valid galactic pilot's license (for all
classes of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to
their hate. A Proven track record of using fear and/or Jedi
mind tricks to control others is also desirable, as is the ability
to speak several galactic languages. Ideal candidates for this
position would also have no children or other living relatives
who are strong in the ways of the Force. (A new hire would be
given several weeks to meet this requirement.)
Compensation for this position is commensurate with
experience, and is extremely competitive for this field.
Benefits include a generous severance package, a company
starship, and a dark-colored clothing
The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with
the Sith Master, and experience in such small, team-based
organizations is vital to the success of the master's plans.
Discretion is also highly valued, as is the ability to see the
future before it happens.
Applications will be accepted until the end of August.
Transmit them To firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dark Side CG (TM) is a small and highly-focused
organization, founded a long time ago in a galaxy far, far
away. Our core values reflect the short-term advantages of
harnessing hatred for institutional power and the
long-term desirability of controlling the galaxy. We provide
direction to our partner organizations through knowledge
management, incident control and our rapid on-site
intervention expertise. Our partnered
organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling
Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies.
Dark Side CG (TM) is a wholly owned subsidiary of