Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he
had two extra things left in his bag of creations. So, he decided
to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that
one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand
up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple, who he found
under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you
wanted the ability".
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to!
Please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. It'd be so
great! When I'm out working in the garden or naming the
animals, I could just stand there and let it fly! It'd be so cool, I
could write my name in the sand. Oh, please God, let it be me
who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please!!"
On and on he went, like an excited little boy who...well...had to
pee. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted
that so badly, that he should have it. it seemed to be the sort of
thing that would make him happy, and she really wouldn't mind
if Adam were the one given this ability.
And so, Adam was given the ability to control the direction of
his micturition while in a vertical position. He was so happy, he
celebrated by wetting down the bark on the tree nearest him,
laughing with delight all
And it was good."Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of
leftover gifts, "What's left in here?" "Oh yes," he said,