Just after this guy gets married, he was invited out for a
night with "the boys." He accepts and then tells his new
bride not to worry, because he'd "be home by midnight...promise!"
Well, the darts were landing just right and the grog was going
down easy, and at around 3 a.m. drunk as can be the guy finally
stumbles home. Just as he gets in the door, the cuckoo clock
started, and cuckooed three times. Quickly he realized she'd
probably been woken up by the clock, so he cuckooed another nine
times to make her think it was midnight. He was really proud of
himself, having the quick wits, even when smashed, to escape a
Next morning the missus asked him what time he got in and he
tells her, "12 o'clock, dear!" Whew! Got away with that one!
"Hmmm, I think we need a new cuckoo clock," she says over her
"Why is that?" the husband asks.
"Well, it cuckooed three times, said 'shoot,' cuckooed another
four times, farted, cuckooed another three times, cleared its
throat; cuckooed two more times, and then giggled."