THE ELEVATOR JOKE
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator,
there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F"
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)."
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as
sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression,
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F,
Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"
The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open
and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles
of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table.
The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and
chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more blondes arrive, take up
their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more
blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days,
51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with a picture under her
arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table
erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging
high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartender
can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the
center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the
frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the blondes, "What's all
the chanting and celebration about?"
The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes
are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten
of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. . .the side of the box
said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"
THE FISHING JOKE
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the
lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the
shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.
"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.
"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets
at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."
The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe
magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said
the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game
As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started
laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the
other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!"
A man was driving along the highway and saw a rabbit hopping across the
middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the
rabbit jumpted in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man
as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see
what had become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful that he began
to cry. A blonde woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the
side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man
what was wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car
trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and
sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit. Miraculously, the rabbit came to
life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road.
Fifty feet away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again,
hopped down the road another 50 feet, turned, waved, and hopped another 50
feet. The man was astonished. He couldn't figure out what substance could be in
the woman's spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded,
"What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?" The woman
turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:
"Hair Spray - Restores Life to Dead Hair. Adds Permanent Wave."
Send it to:
1 person-your crush will finally know you exist on planet earth
2 people- your crush is interested in knowing more about you(and the above)
3 people- your crush thinks you're cute(and the above)
4 people- your crush will try to talk to you(and the above)
5 people- your crush will call you(and the above)
6 people- your crush will ask you to dance at the next dance(and the above)
7 people- your crush will ask you out(and the above)
8 people- your crush will ignore all other cute guys/girls who flirt with
him/her(and the above)
9 people- more guys/girls will like you, including cute ones(and the above)
And NO, you won't get bad luck or anything if you don't send it on, but at least
try to pass the humor on. I mean, isn't this better than the ones that help people