A Tribute to Beer
 
 I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in the
 morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
 --Frank Sinatra
 
 The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
 sober.
 --William Butler Yeats
 
 Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you
 to keep your mouth shut.
 --Ernest Hemingway
 
 You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
 --Dean Martin
 
 Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
 --Anonymous
 
 Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
 --Catherine Zandonella
 
 Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
 --Anonymous
 
 Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity
 that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
 --Ross Levy
 
 Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
 --Anonymous
 
 Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all
 of the time and have the time of your life.
 --Anonymous
 
 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?
 --Stephen Wright
 
 When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
 When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go
 to heaven Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
 -- Brian O'Rourke
 
 Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol
 has taken out of me.
 --Winston Churchill
 
 Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
 --Benjamin Franklin
 
 Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
 is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
 but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
 --Dave Barry
 
 I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
 --Homer Simpson
 
 I drink to make other people interesting.
 --George Jean Nathan