DOG HAIKU

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be

Today I sniffed
Many dog behinds-I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy-come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and
Whiz on each bush. Hello, Spot--
Sniff this and weep!

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as
My hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle

I Hate my choke chain
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot -- no greater bliss -- well,
Maybe catching rats

Look in my eyes and
Deny it. No human could
Love you as much I do

The cat is not all
Bad -- she fills the litter box
With Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence -- why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating.

You are my stamp pad
The mud I rolled in makes nice
Patterns on white shirts.

Squirrels, birds, and cats
Run everywhere, taunting me
I must chase them all.

It is morning now
I lick your sleeping face
Wake up - play with me!

I see my owner
Thus I must take wing and fly
Is my name "Down, girl!"?