Living In The Bay Area

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You know you're living in the Bay Area when
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1. Your household income is $140,000 and you can't
afford shoes
for the kids.
2. You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric,
but can't get
it in your neighborhood.
3. You know what DSL stands for.
4. You think that American food includes sushi,
naan, pho and pad
thai.
5. You met your neighbors once.
6. When asked about your commute you answer in time,
not distance.
7. Even though you work 80 hours per week on a
computer, for
relaxation you read your email and peruse eBay.
8. You have worked at the same job for a year and
people call you
an"old-timer".
9. You have a special drawer devoted to T-shirts
with the company
logo.
10. The T-shirts you value most were for products
that never made
it to market.
11. You can name four different programming
languages and you are
not a programmer.
12. You remember the names of the three closest
cheap sushi joints,
the location of all the Fry's in the area and which
companies
your friends work for that are going public in the
next year,
but don't know the name of the mayor.
13. Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the
employees
don't call a head hunter.
14. You work 6 miles from your home and spend two
hours a day
commuting and $40 a week on gas.
15. Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and
summer is when it
dies.
16. You live on some of the richest farm land in the
world but most
of what you eat comes from South America.
17. Your best friend lives across town but you
hardly ever see each
other because after your commute you're too pooped
to spend
another hour driving to their home.
18. You cringe when you see people in suits at your
office,
wondering if someone in management will make you
stop wearing
sandals.
19. You plan your vacation so that you don't have to
drive back in
commute traffic.
20. You could walk to the mall in 45 minutes, but
taking public
transit adds another three hours and you still have
to walk 45
minutes.
21. You don't go to sporting events unless you are
given tickets by
your employer.
22. You could sell your home and live like a king in
99% of the
rest of the world, but don't because it would be
difficult to
move back.