Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through "the minds of
Conference : The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which
masculine willpower is defeated by feminine
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Office : A place where you can relax after
your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men
ever get to open their mouth.
Etc : A sign to make others believe that you
know more than you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing
individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
Experience : The name men give to their
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during
life, to be spoken of when dead.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if
he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from
Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he
can die rich.
Criminal : A guy no different from the
rest....except that he got caught.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by
pills, and kills you with his bills.