The European Commission has just announced an agreement where by
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear
up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters,which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"'s in the language is disgraceful, and
should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!
And zen ve vil take over ze vorld!!!