The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "the rules"
from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!
Mens rules is true and funny.
K on January 19, 2006 at 09:06
Ok, I may be a chick, but I totally understand what you guys go
through. Oh.. and we girls already know you think this way, it's
obvious.
through. Oh.. and we girls already know you think this way, it's
obvious.
TK on October 30, 2006 at 04:44
Hennebury learn it, live it be one with the rules grasshopper!
Koby on October 31, 2006 at 07:54
thanks will pass it along to heaps of men
micheal on April 08, 2007 at 07:34
I absolutly love this one : 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but
it is just not worth the hassle.
nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but
it is just not worth the hassle.
alex on April 08, 2007 at 07:36
Women are not always right but...... We are never wrong.. Get used to
it and stop Whining....
it and stop Whining....
mae on May 17, 2007 at 04:56
Strange... nothing does really appeal to me... And yes I am a woman,
and yes again, I am sure. Allthough I must say, the rules sound
pretty logical. Oh and I can laugh about this, not bitterly, just like
LOL
and yes again, I am sure. Allthough I must say, the rules sound
pretty logical. Oh and I can laugh about this, not bitterly, just like
LOL
A on June 26, 2007 at 11:11
Oh man, i tell my chick this all the time. All of these rules are true
DJ D Rick on August 04, 2007 at 01:41
I totally agree with Mae...go girl!!!
JW on August 08, 2007 at 06:46
it's all good except the Columbus thing...if ya'll remember your
history he got lost when he found america...but whatever i laughed my
ass off
history he got lost when he found america...but whatever i laughed my
ass off
kat on November 05, 2007 at 10:12
OK guys I agree with most everything on here. Me being a female also
live by MOST of of these rules:) (I don't scratch it if it itches)
Don't talk to me unless it's a commercial break - exp. during sports!
But close the toilet seat all the way b4 flushing (gross). This pisses
all my married friend girls off - and no I don't have to sleep on the
couch i'm single.
live by MOST of of these rules:) (I don't scratch it if it itches)
Don't talk to me unless it's a commercial break - exp. during sports!
But close the toilet seat all the way b4 flushing (gross). This pisses
all my married friend girls off - and no I don't have to sleep on the
couch i'm single.
daddysgirl on February 09, 2008 at 04:09
i like the;ask for what u want...just say it.true,why beat around the
bush?just say it!
bush?just say it!
crisssi on March 22, 2009 at 11:19
i love this ,my friend e-mailed it to me and i almost wet myself
mainly because i think me and my boy friend are so mixed up , this is
the sort of stuff i have to say to him :) he always saves a
conversation for either when we are in bed or during a show he even
talks over sports and the new FandF film
mainly because i think me and my boy friend are so mixed up , this is
the sort of stuff i have to say to him :) he always saves a
conversation for either when we are in bed or during a show he even
talks over sports and the new FandF film
amanda on April 16, 2009 at 07:47
all women (mae) quit crying
big guy on May 11, 2009 at 06:35
Finally it's like the ten commandments for guys and yes I am Catholic.
Ohh and mae shove it up ur As
Ohh and mae shove it up ur As
Chiefs 36 on August 13, 2009 at 09:27
so true!!! damn the guy who wrote this is my GOD from now on!!! lol
leo1111 on August 16, 2009 at 09:22
whoever put this on here is a fag and if your gonna act like this to
every girl then good luck gettin one.... douchs
every girl then good luck gettin one.... douchs
arielle on December 19, 2009 at 06:14
Some girls really need to lighten up (: I'm a girl and I think all
these rules are hilarious and very acceptable! Except I only have 5
pairs of shoes..haha (:
these rules are hilarious and very acceptable! Except I only have 5
pairs of shoes..haha (:
Lalala on December 26, 2009 at 03:18
![[page]](http://www.toolset.org/files/icons/page.png){kind=icon}
![[picture]](http://www.toolset.org/files/icons/picture.png){kind=icon}
![[page_white_flash]](http://www.toolset.org/files/icons/page_white_flash.png){kind=icon}
