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All You Want To Know About Men

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All You Want To Know About Men

What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
You can enjoy all but the head

What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.

What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
They both get hot in 15 seconds

Why can't a man be both good-looking and intelligent?
Because that would make him a woman.

Why is a man's brain the size of a peanut?
Because it is swollen.

Why are batteries better than men?
Batteries have at least one positive end.

Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg?
Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.

Why are men like the letter Q?
Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.

Why do fewer women get married these days?
Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the
living room.

What is the similarity between a video recorder and a man?
They go forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards, stop and eject!

Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?
It is rarer.

Why do men prefer to marry virgins?
They cannot handle the criticism.

What do you call an attractive intelligent and sensitive man?
A rumour.

Why don't men go through menopause?
They never left puberty.
User Comments
Ever Dated a Psycho We are looking to make a short film about the
horrors of women! We are looking for men to tell us their stories
about how women have got their revenge on them. Have you ever had a
woman cut your suits up? Or worse, John Wayne Bobbitt? Ever had your
car keyed? Your front door Egged? Your tires slashed? Your porn
collection sent to your Mother? Any of these ring bells? If so let
me know. You can get me on 020 7291 0709 or email me at
tom@jonesthefilm.com. Cheers All, Tom Tom
Pollard tom@jonesthefilm.com T: 020 7291 0709 M: 077 1363 6455 F:
020 7580 3480
Tom on January 05, 2006 at 08:07
omg LOL this is like soo mega funny
princess on January 10, 2006 at 04:44
Not bad, kinda humourous, but still crap at the end of the day.
Eblis on January 16, 2006 at 05:34
i want to know why men cheat on lady and why they look down on ladys
rita on February 14, 2006 at 10:05
Rita, darling, don't lump all men into one category, kind of like this
site is doing. I promise, they're all seperate people.
kaia on September 25, 2006 at 11:23
ahhhh
dude on November 05, 2006 at 06:58
It is full of BS
irvin on December 26, 2006 at 08:29
Obviously written by a lesbian. Why is it that men and women bash on
each other so much... 90% of shit written like this is just unhappy,
unsuccessful, pathetic people who just never got any great sex. And
rita, men who lie and cheat are a waste of your time, they should be
shot. And yes, this statement written by an HONEST guy.
Axel on January 22, 2007 at 04:57
probably written by some fat chick who cant ever get any
shadow on March 13, 2007 at 01:19
Men vs. Women: the never ending bashing battle. "This war has taught
us one thing: you may use the exact same weapons, but when the enemy
gets arrogant and brings their agenda too far, that is the time to
strike with the one thing that they have not postulated before the
extension of their attack: reason. Simple logic that they can not
deny."
Dustin on March 30, 2007 at 11:40
these areee soooo mucchh more better than the men jokes for women YES
Daisy on April 20, 2007 at 10:10
Damn this stupid bitch needs to get her fat ass laid!
Asshole on April 21, 2007 at 09:38
the Q and the cam recorder were funny, most others were adapted from
women jokes on other sites or popular culture
Alec on May 27, 2007 at 05:21
not all guys are stupid and wateva else they say ya some are stupid
but the same goes for chixs though some are pretty funny
Jade on June 12, 2007 at 11:43
Although these jokes were funny, they were totally untrue. Women need
to stop degrading men and men need to stop doing the same to women. In
the end, aren't we all making babies together? ;)
Matty on June 17, 2007 at 06:55
Actually the pH level of the female kills off most of the sperm.
Firstly the male sperm whereas the female sperm thrives in an acidic
environment (make your own comments). By the time that one table spoon
of sperm reaches the egg there is only 500 sperm left. So please
ladies think before you speak otherwise you'll bhe wasting another
guys man-time on correcting you.
Meat on July 06, 2007 at 02:11
1. Same can be said about wemon ;). 2. Its actually been prove...Good
job. 3. Only takes me 5 seconds baby. 4. Lesbian. 5. So your a man
then? 6. Now see..heres where I was dissapointed...instead you should
have said "becasue they LAST LONGER." 7. Meats got by back on this
one. 8. Why are wemon like the letter O? Atleast we get the
protrusion huh? 9. More wemon are being...married...Get your stats
right please. 10. I belive your talking about the TAPE inside of a
video recorder, not the Recorder itself hunny. 11. See #10, #9, #8,
#7, # 2, Post Above, and Post Above That. 12. ...We
don't...Infact...We don't perfer to Marry at all ;) 13. What do you
call an attractive intelligent and sensitive Woman? Not you. 14.
Define menopause.
Your List Sucks. on July 23, 2007 at 02:38
Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant
you right here!
lago on July 27, 2007 at 08:59
That list wasn't that funny, and degrading to men. I'm a woman, and I
don't think of men like this. That's insulting to a lot of my friends,
who are men. I think those jokes are so dumb and they sound like
they're written by either feminists or lesbians. Men aren't all jerks,
and this is coming from a woman.
maggie on August 24, 2007 at 04:34
I have a boyfriend and yes I am sexist. It's sad, you might say, but
its because he's the only man I can respect and that respects me. I
can't shut my mouth around arrogant jerks and most men act like it
even if they aren't like that. Men are even more fake than women are
and I think women are fake. We do everything to impress the opposite
sex and lose ourselves in the process. I was just lucky to have
gradually fallen for him and we naturally just ended up togheter. No
need to impress, it's the best relationship I have ever had.
Melissa on October 16, 2007 at 12:31
Thats low bitch. Lose some weight, get some plastcic surgery and then
set some really low standards
muhu on November 29, 2007 at 04:05
this is lame. i don't think of my bf like this he is the sweetest
thing.
~Hannah~ on March 29, 2008 at 11:32
Q: How sexist is this topic? A: Extremely Q: What would happen
if a man posted something like this about women? A: He would get
yelled at and called a sexist pig. Way to go all of you who said it
was funny or right. You just showed how sexist you really are.
you guys are idiots on August 13, 2008 at 06:16
that wasnt funny at all. i hope u die
xxxx on December 17, 2008 at 09:19
some points r true and some points r wrong
alina on October 10, 2011 at 03:10
hahaha they kinda ryt all hey.......i like i like...........
Ncoza Nconco on November 01, 2011 at 07:48
why are people making such a big deal about it being true or not!!!
they are jokes!!!! such as the jokes men write... they arent true..
just stupid jokes that arent real!!!! I being a women hate reading
those jokes, but some can be funny and realize they are fake and
stupid, still funny though. and you know what... these jokes are
funny.. get over it.
crystal on January 18, 2012 at 08:36
hahah. funny but shouldn't make guys angry. I don't think of guys
this way on some points.
maha on February 12, 2012 at 11:56

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