Today is my 49th birthday, & I wasn't feeling too hot this morning anyway. I
went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant & say "Happy Birthday," &
probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone
any "Happy Birthday".
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember" The children
came in to breakfast & didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was
feeling pretty low & despondent.
As I walked into my office,my secretary,Betty said,"Good Morning Boss,Happy
Birthday"
And I felt a little better someone had remembered! I worked until noon. Then,
Betty knocked on my door & said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside &
it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you & me". I said, "By George,
that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go-we went out into the country
to a little private place. We had two martinis & enjoyed lunch tremendously. On
the way
back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful l day. We don't
need to go back to the office, do we?"I said, "No, I guess not." She said,
Let's go to my apartment".
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll
go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable". "Sure," I
excitedly replied. She went
into the bedroom &, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday
cake, followed by my wife, children & dozens of friends. They were singing
"Happy Birthday"
And there I sat, on the couch, naked!!!
went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant & say "Happy Birthday," &
probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone
any "Happy Birthday".
I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember" The children
came in to breakfast & didn't say a word. When I started to the office I was
feeling pretty low & despondent.
As I walked into my office,my secretary,Betty said,"Good Morning Boss,Happy
Birthday"
And I felt a little better someone had remembered! I worked until noon. Then,
Betty knocked on my door & said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside &
it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you & me". I said, "By George,
that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go."
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go-we went out into the country
to a little private place. We had two martinis & enjoyed lunch tremendously. On
the way
back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful l day. We don't
need to go back to the office, do we?"I said, "No, I guess not." She said,
Let's go to my apartment".
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll
go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable". "Sure," I
excitedly replied. She went
into the bedroom &, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday
cake, followed by my wife, children & dozens of friends. They were singing
"Happy Birthday"
And there I sat, on the couch, naked!!!
Sounds like a typical man!!!
Tiffany on October 26, 2005 at 12:38
And a typical secretary, too?
Mr. Man on November 15, 2005 at 05:44
yeah, i agree but not all secetaries are like that instead all men
think slipping into something more comfortable means more than that.
Funny though
think slipping into something more comfortable means more than that.
Funny though
Whitney on December 09, 2005 at 01:58
Ever Dated a Psycho
We are looking to make a short film about the
horrors of women! We are looking for men to tell us their stories
about how women have got their revenge on them. Have you ever had a
woman cut your suits up? Or worse, John Wayne Bobbitt? Ever had your
car keyed? Your front door Egged? Your tires slashed? Your porn
collection sent to your Mother? Any of these ring bells? If so let
me know. You can get me on 020 7291 0709 or email me at
tom@jonesthefilm.com. Cheers All, Tom Tom
Pollard tom@jonesthefilm.com T: 020 7291 0709 M: 077 1363 6455 F:
020 7580 3480
horrors of women! We are looking for men to tell us their stories
about how women have got their revenge on them. Have you ever had a
woman cut your suits up? Or worse, John Wayne Bobbitt? Ever had your
car keyed? Your front door Egged? Your tires slashed? Your porn
collection sent to your Mother? Any of these ring bells? If so let
me know. You can get me on 020 7291 0709 or email me at
tom@jonesthefilm.com. Cheers All, Tom Tom
Pollard tom@jonesthefilm.com T: 020 7291 0709 M: 077 1363 6455 F:
020 7580 3480
Tom on January 05, 2006 at 09:34
K that is in now way the mans fault... totally misleading
Nick on January 05, 2006 at 06:51
these rules are awesome!!
lee on October 24, 2006 at 03:24
wouldnt his wife be pissed off that he was actually gonna do dirty
with his secretary,if i was his wife i'd probably have a official
affair with his best mate. (i am a bloke, and im not gay and im
12).!!
with his secretary,if i was his wife i'd probably have a official
affair with his best mate. (i am a bloke, and im not gay and im
12).!!
Jman on November 19, 2006 at 08:45
hahahahahahahaha.......that was very funny
brande on December 02, 2006 at 03:27
one word hysterical
Vampire_Kisses on December 22, 2006 at 01:28
Typical typical man!
jesie on February 12, 2007 at 02:58
omg so predictable, if i waz his wife let me tell u sumat i wud not b
saying happy birthday....
saying happy birthday....
kez chik on February 14, 2007 at 02:08
lol
lol on February 23, 2007 at 04:13
damn!! that was close next time, u make sure u pull the car over and
do it
do it
lasgo on April 01, 2007 at 05:11
seriously, whats with all the women leaving the "typical man" comment?
get a freakin life.
get a freakin life.
DeLion on April 16, 2007 at 04:51
typical man this...typical man that...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
E-MAN on May 21, 2007 at 08:14
Secretary sends signals all way thru but man is supposed to know its
all innocent! yeahh rightttt, then what happens in same cirumstance
and the woman WANTS the man to be ready for SEX! HUHHHHHHHH stupid
bimbos!
all innocent! yeahh rightttt, then what happens in same cirumstance
and the woman WANTS the man to be ready for SEX! HUHHHHHHHH stupid
bimbos!
Femalesnknowfuckall on June 03, 2007 at 11:55
FUNNY FUNNY !!
h+z on August 06, 2008 at 11:11
Yeah, agreed - women take life so damn seriously, they have to scream
'Typical!' at every available sex joke. lol, lame...
'Typical!' at every available sex joke. lol, lame...
Ryan on August 08, 2008 at 10:39
thats not a typical. male thats the way the typical woman thinks of
the typical male because they think that they're better.
the typical male because they think that they're better.
not your typical male on August 13, 2008 at 06:37
Face it: the phrase 'typical man' is the misandrist version of 'return
to the kitchen'.
to the kitchen'.
The Exception on September 25, 2009 at 02:12
