# Romance Mathematics

## Romance Mathematics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay \$2 for a \$1 item he needs.
A woman will pay \$1 for a \$2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him A little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and Not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men,
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes,
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

guys are only dicks to make up for the ones they dont have- i know
because ive tried i know because ive cried---by tried i mean tried to
have a relationship with them and theyve all been dick just like the
sayin...
skyla on December 26, 2005 at 08:35
sexist stereotyping is not funny
dbj on December 05, 2007 at 06:23