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Romance Mathematics

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him A little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and Not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men,
But married men are a lot more willing to die.


MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes,
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

User Comments
guys are only dicks to make up for the ones they dont have- i know
because ive tried i know because ive cried---by tried i mean tried to
have a relationship with them and theyve all been dick just like the
sayin...
skyla on December 26, 2005 at 08:35
sexist stereotyping is not funny
dbj on December 05, 2007 at 06:23
cgurado kah
pockz on July 21, 2008 at 12:36
ya well that is BS comment I have tried to have relationships with
girls and everyone i know tells me im the nicest person they know but
still all my GF are complette bitches and cheaters its not guys only
its humans in general dont sereotype when all the girls i tired to get
with are 1000% worse then the guys i know are dicks
insa on April 13, 2009 at 11:23
sexist stereotyping is totally funny! you're over it. LOLz
lecks on April 30, 2009 at 12:54

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