-TWO NEW ADDITIONS TO THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS
1) Element Name: WOMANIUM
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)
Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing
and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not
used well. Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses
strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food.
Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.
Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of
wealth. Probably the most powerful income-reducing agent known.
Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!
2) Element Name: MANIUM
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of
shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure
sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as
easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO
any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.
Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged
period of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly a good methane source. Good samples are able
to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and
begins to smell.
"No electronic signatures authorized."
J on December 10, 2005 at 07:37
Hilarious! What makes these things funny is how true they are!
Diane on December 21, 2005 at 10:15
Hilarious! What makes these things funny is how true they are!
Diane on December 21, 2005 at 10:16
Hilarious! What makes these things funny is how true they are!
Diane on December 21, 2005 at 10:16
Hilarious! What makes these things funny is how true they are!
Diane on December 21, 2005 at 10:23
Ever Dated a Psycho
We are looking to make a short film about the
horrors of women! We are looking for men to tell us their stories
about how women have got their revenge on them. Have you ever had a
woman cut your suits up? Or worse, John Wayne Bobbitt? Ever had your
car keyed? Your front door Egged? Your tires slashed? Your porn
collection sent to your Mother? Any of these ring bells? If so let
me know. You can get me on 020 7291 0709 or email me at
tom@jonesthefilm.com. Cheers All, Tom Tom
Pollard tom@jonesthefilm.com T: 020 7291 0709 M: 077 1363 6455 F:
020 7580 3480
horrors of women! We are looking for men to tell us their stories
about how women have got their revenge on them. Have you ever had a
woman cut your suits up? Or worse, John Wayne Bobbitt? Ever had your
car keyed? Your front door Egged? Your tires slashed? Your porn
collection sent to your Mother? Any of these ring bells? If so let
me know. You can get me on 020 7291 0709 or email me at
tom@jonesthefilm.com. Cheers All, Tom Tom
Pollard tom@jonesthefilm.com T: 020 7291 0709 M: 077 1363 6455 F:
020 7580 3480
Tom on January 05, 2006 at 08:25
EXACT PROPERTIES OF WO!!!! WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!
kibrab on October 22, 2006 at 08:52
FU: What you do with Danceman after we wipe the floor with a whore.
Dance it up! Danceman! Oh daddy you so hard! Ooh ah.
Dance it up! Danceman! Oh daddy you so hard! Ooh ah.
Danceman on February 08, 2007 at 06:27
Holy shit equality.
Dustin on March 30, 2007 at 11:59
"Usage: None known. Possibly a good methane source. Good samples are
able to produce large quantities on command." That's hilarious!!!
able to produce large quantities on command." That's hilarious!!!
diamondz on May 16, 2007 at 04:30
WTF!!!!
E-MAN on May 21, 2007 at 09:30
*Farts loudly in the direction of all females* and proudly walks away.
femalesknowfuckall on June 03, 2007 at 12:24
Well actually men created most of the things in this world. So we have
far more of a use than women. Well women make good cum recpticles. And
good baby cookers. Thats about it.
far more of a use than women. Well women make good cum recpticles. And
good baby cookers. Thats about it.
Meat on July 06, 2007 at 02:07
meat i agree wit ya 110% man
lago on July 26, 2007 at 09:44
People like Meat make me wonder about Humans and their so-called
"intelligence". So... Meat.. Can I like.. Barbeque, put sauce on
and eat you already? I'm starving.
"intelligence". So... Meat.. Can I like.. Barbeque, put sauce on
and eat you already? I'm starving.
Sparkster the Rocket Knight on December 04, 2007 at 12:20
Well that was hilarious...is one of the best blog i have seen! Loved
it and made me laugh..so well done.
it and made me laugh..so well done.
Fe on April 07, 2008 at 10:00

hehehe