Tech Support Calls

Austin, Texas,


An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get
her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed
the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot
pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the
computer's mouse.


Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her
brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit,
plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something
to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power
switch, she asked "What power switch?"


Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the
"Any" key is.


AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out
to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.


Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining
that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old
diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to
diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the
diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.


Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective
diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer
along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.


A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled
floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked
the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up
and crossing the room to close the door to his room.


Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer
to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the
technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper
by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send"
key.


Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a
Dell tech referred him to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a
couple of friends," the customer replied. When told Egghead was a
software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a
couple of geeks."


Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard
no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with
soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all
the keys and washing them individually.


A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an
invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
responses shouldn't be taken personally.