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    1. The Marlboro Man

    2. Big Brother

    3. King Arthur

    4. Santa Claus (St. Nick)

    5. Hamlet

    6. Dr. Frankenstein's Monster

    7. Siegfried

    8. Sherlock Holmes

    9. Romeo and Juliet

    10. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

    11. Uncle Tom

    12. Robin Hood

    13. Jim Crow

    14. Oedipus

    15. Lady Chatterly

    16. Ebenezer Scrooge

    17. Don Quixote

    18. Mickey Mouse

    19. The American Cowboy

    20. Prince Charming

    21. Smokey Bear

    22. Robinson Crusoe

    23. Apollo and Dionysus

    24. Odysseus

    25. Nora Helmer

    26. Cinderella

    27. Shylock

    28. Rosie the Riveter

    29. Midas

    30. Hester Prynne

    31. The Little Engine That Could

    32. Archie Bunker

    33. Dracula

    34. Alice in Wonderland

    35. Citizen Kane

    36. Faust

    37. Figaro

    38. Godzilla

    39. Mary Richards

    40. Don Juan

    41. Bambi

    42. William Tell

    43. Barbie

    44. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

    45. Venus and Cupid

    46. Prometheus

    47. Pandora

    48. G.I. Joe

    49. Tarzan

    50. Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock

    51. James Bond

    52. Hansel and Gretel

    53. Captain Ahab

    54. Richard Blaine

    55. The Ugly Duckling

    56. Loch Ness Monster (Nessie)

    57. Atticus Finch

    58. Saint Valentine

    59. Helen of Troy

    60. Batman

    61. Uncle Sam

    62. Nancy Drew

    63. J.R. Ewing

    64. Superman

    65. Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn

    66. HAL 9000

    67. Kermit the Frog

    68. Sam Spade

    69. The Pied Piper

    70. Peter Pan

    71. Hiawatha

    72. Othello

    73. The Little Tramp

    74. King Kong

    75. Norman Bates

    76. Hercules (Herakles)

    77. Dick Tracy

    78. Joe Camel

    79. The Cat in the Hat

    80. Icarus

    81. Mammy

    82. Sindbad

    83. Amos 'n' Andy

    84. Buck Rogers

    85. Luke Skywalker

    86. Perry Mason

    87. Dr. Strangelove

    88. Pygmalion

    89. Madame Butterfly

    90. Hans Beckert

    91. Dorothy Gale

    92. The Wandering Jew

    93. The Great Gatsby

    94. Buck (Jack London, The Call of the Wild)

    95. Willy Loman

    96. Betty Boop

    97. Ivanhoe

    98. Elmer Gantry

    99. Lilith

    100. John Doe

    101. Paul Bunyan
    Comments

    1. Viagra
    Men being treated for erectile dysfunction should salute the working stiffs of Merthyr Tydfil, the Welsh hamlet where, in 1992 trials, the gravity-defying side effects of a new angina drug first popped up. Previously, the blue-collar town was known for producing a different kind of iron.

    2. LSD
    Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann took the world's first acid hit in 1943, when he touched a smidge of lysergic acid diethylamide, a chemical he had researched for inducing childbirth. He later tried a bigger dose and made another discovery: the bad trip.

    3. X-rays
    Several 19th-century scientists toyed with the penetrating rays emitted when electrons strike a metal target. But the x-ray wasn't discovered until 1895, when German egghead Wilhelm Rntgen tried sticking various objects in front of the radiation - and saw the bones of his hand projected on a wall.

    4. Penicillin
    Scottish scientist Alexander Fleming was researching the flu in 1928 when he noticed that a blue-green mold had infected one of his petri dishes - and killed the staphylococcus bacteria growing in it. All hail sloppy lab work!

    5. Artificial sweeteners
    Speaking of botched lab jobs, three leading pseudo-sugars reached human lips only because scientists forgot to wash their hands. Cyclamate (1937) and aspartame (1965) are byproducts of medical research, and saccharin (1879) appeared during a project on coal tar derivatives. Yummy.

    6. Microwave ovens
    Microwave emitters (or magnetrons) powered Allied radar in WWII. The leap from detecting Nazis to nuking nachos came in 1946, after a magnetron melted a candy bar in Raytheon engineer Percy Spencer's pocket.

    7. Brandy
    Medieval wine merchants used to boil the H20 out of wine so their delicate cargo would keep better and take up less space at sea. Before long, some intrepid soul - our money's on a sailor - decided to bypass the reconstitution stage, and brandy was born. Pass the Courvoisier!

    8. Vulcanized rubber
    Rubber rots badly and smells worse, unless it's vulcanized. Ancient Mesoamericans had their own version of the process, but Charles Goodyear rediscovered it in 1839 when he unintentionally (well, at least according to most accounts) dropped a rubber-sulfur compound onto a hot stove.

    9. Silly Putty
    In the early 1940s, General Electric scientist James Wright was working on artificial rubber for the war effort when he mixed boric acid and silicon oil. V-J Day didn't come any sooner, but comic strip image-stretching practically became a national pastime.

    10. Potato chips
    Chef George Crum concocted the perfect sandwich complement in 1853 when - to spite a customer who complained that his fries were cut too thick - he sliced a potato paper-thin and fried it to a crisp. Needless to say, the diner couldn't eat just one.

    - Compiled by Lucas Graves
    Comments

    1. Remove a broken key from a lock.
    Put some super glue on broken off part, insert, hold a few seconds and pull.

    2. Remove a broken light bulb.
    Stick a bar of soap into jagged edges, use soap as handle.

    3. Remove a stubborn screw.
    Heat with a soldering iron for a few seconds first.

    4. Protect children from sockets.
    Keep a piece of electrical tape over them when not in use.

    5. Good glass door safety tip.
    Put a BIG decal on the glass and patio doors.

    6. Keep nails from splitting wood.
    Blunt sharp end of nail before you use by hitting with hammer.

    7. Repair small holes in screen.
    Plug holes with clear nail polish, let dry, repeat until filled.

    8. Straighten warped phono records.
    Place record between two sheets of glass, let sit in sun for a while.

    9. Best way to clean phono records.
    Dip in solution of detergent and water, rinse and wipe dry.

    10. Make your own fireplace logs.
    Roll newspapers up tightly in shape of logs.

    11. How to remove oil from a driveway.
    Cover with sand let stand for a few days, then sweep off.

    12. Keep fish hooks from rusting.
    Stick them in a cork and submerge in some baking soda.

    13. Make sandpaper last longer.
    Back sandpaper with masking tape.

    14. How to revive old razor blades.
    Rub them back and forth inside a drinking glass.

    15. Remove road tar from cars.
    Sodium bicarbonate on a damp cloth.

    16. Remove labels from bottles and jars.

    17. Cut glass without a glass cutter.
    Use tin snips and cut under water, smooth rough edges off with knife blade.

    18. Easy to unglue stamps and envelopes.
    Put in freezer for a few hours then flip off with knife blade.

    19. Get water out of your watch.
    Strap watch to light bulb, turn on for a few minutes. Water drops will form
    on glass. Open up and wipe off.

    20. Prevent snow sticking to shovel.
    Coat shovel with car wax.

    21. Tighten your hammer handle.
    Soak in used engine oil for a day.

    22. Low cost laminating -EASY.
    Cover article with clear contact (cling film) paper.

    23. Open that stuck zip.
    Spray the stuck zip with shaving foam.

    24. Remove paint from auto.
    The product to clean paint from your car is Benzol.

    25. Increase your petrol mileage.
    Put 4oz of benzol to each ten gallons of petrol to increase mpg.

    26. How to renew car batteries.
    Dissolve 1oz of epsom salts in warm water and add to each cell.

    27. Easily untie a knot in a chain.
    cover the knot generously with cold cream.

    28. Loosen those tight shoes.
    Wad some damp newspapers into shoes and leave for a few days.

    29. Make shoes slip proof.
    Take scissors and scratch crisscrosses on the soles.

    30. The ideal pin cushion.
    Use a bar of soap, makes sewing easier, needle just slides through.

    31. Make your own metal polisher.
    Take blackboard chalk and rub into cloth, then rub on metal.

    32. Good dog and cat repellent.
    Place mothballs in areas. They will avoid it. Animals hate mothball odour.

    33. When your pet has no appetite.
    Try a saucer of beer. It.s known to perk up the appetite.

    34. Easy to rid pets of fleas.
    Put a foam rubber bed in the pet.s bed - fleas hate it.

    35. Quick ways to press ties.
    Hang in bath while you take a shower - steam takes wrinkles out.

    36. How to remove staples.
    An old nail clipper works fine for removing staples.

    37. Eliminate odours from disposal.
    Throw a lemon in it and let it be ground up.

    38. Keep salt moisture free.
    Put pieces of blotting paper in shaker. It will absorb moisture.

    39. Simple eye glass cleaner.
    Vinegar diluted in water makes fine eyeglass cleaner.

    40. Easy clean glass doors and mirrors.
    Just rub with damp newspaper - they will shine.

    41. Easily reduce ashtray smell.
    Keep a small amount of baking soda in ashtrays at all times.

    42. Messless painting from a bucket.
    Punch several holes around rim of can with small nail.

    43. Take lumps out of paint.
    Cut a piece of screen to fit inside of can or bucket, it will float to bottom
    taking lumps with it.

    44. Keep bugs out of paint.
    Pour a little insect repellent into the can - it does the trick.

    45. Prevent flowers from fading.
    Use a few drops of chlorine bleach in water, add an aspirin for life.

    46. A simple roach formula - IT WORKS!
    Crumble cigarette butts in water, let dry then spread in roach areas.

    47. Save painting clean up time.
    Cover roller tray with aluminium foil then just throw away.

    48. A novel paint can cover.
    Use plastic lid from a coffee can.

    49. Keep piano keys looking new.
    Keep cover open, ivory turns dark if exposed to darkness.

    50. How to remove grease from rugs.
    Pour ample amount of baking soda on it, brush in, let stand for a day and vacuum off.

    51. Destroy desire for nicotine.
    Take before breakfast, a half teaspoon of rochelle salts and cream of tartar.

    52. Destroy desire for alcohol.
    Mix goldthread with gold seal in a tea. It creates a violent taste for alcohol.

    53. Excellent insomnia formula.
    One tbs powdered milk, 2 tbs honey, 1 tbs brewers yeast, stir into cup of warm milk
    and take before retiring.

    54. Famous diet formula plan.
    Mix 1 tbs safflower oil to 2 tbs grapefruit juice, take before meals.

    55. The $25 beauty facial.
    Spread milk of magnesia over face, let dry, cover again, let dry, remove with damp
    cloth, then apply some warm olive oil, then apply some ice cold witch hazel.

    56. How to improve your IQ.
    Hydrocotyle asiatica teas are a noted brain food.

    57. Make pantyhose last longer.
    One tbs alum, 1 quart water, rinse, let dry, then wash with soap, rinse and dry.

    58. Remove blood stains from carpet.
    Sponge immediately with cold water, then use a bit of soap, rinse and dry.

    59. Make your guitar really shine.
    Rub some toothpaste on, let dry then buff it. It will shine!

    60. Keep a burn from blistering.
    Apply ice cubes to the burn immediately.

    61. Remove ink stains from carpet.
    Apply a paste of milk and cornstarch, let stand a few hours and brush off.

    62. Dry shampoo your pet.
    Rub baking soda into fur and brush out. Will smell great.

    63. Put a shine on your windows.
    Brush with nylon stocking, use blackboard eraser to shine.

    64. Unwrinkling plastic materials.
    Heat ironing board with iron, lay materials on, smooth with hands.

    65. Easy needle threading.
    Dip tip of needle into clear nail polish and let dry.

    66. How to clean your ties.
    Put tie in jar with some carbon tetrachloride, shake, take out and let dry.

    67. Easy clean your nail file.
    Press apiece of tape onto file, pull off. Removes all dirt.

    68. How to remove scorches.
    Wet scorched area and cover with cornstarch, brush off when dry.

    69. What to do if you oversalt food.
    Drop a potato or two into it. Absorbs the oversalt.

    70. Watermelon ripeness test.
    Look for a creamy surface underneath the melon.

    71. How to freshen stale nuts.
    Stick them in the oven for 15 minutes at 250 degrees.

    72. How to destroy fish smells.
    Rub butter on your hands or wherever smell is to be removed.

    73. How to destroy onion smells.
    Dampen hands and rub bicarbonate of soda over them.

    74. Keep and use overripe bananas.
    Mash and freeze for making cakes and biscuits.

    75. How to boil a cracked egg.
    Add a dash of vinegar to the water.

    76. How to make mocha coffee.
    Instead of milk or cream try some chocolate milk.

    77. Easy boiled egg peeling.
    Keep lid on for a few minutes after boiling, pressure causes shell to fall off.

    78. Eliminate popcorn duds -fast.
    Freeze it first then it will all pop.

    79. Easy clean kitchen windows.
    Add starch to water and clean with a piece of newspaper.

    80. Easy clean silverware - the best.
    Use baking soda and damp cloth, clean, rinse and let dry.

    81. Vegetable for liver and prostrate.
    Beets.

    82. Fruit soothes intestinal tract.
    Papaya.

    83. A fruit for arthritic gout.
    Cherries

    84. An appetiser fruit - GOOD
    Pineapple.

    85. Fruit for stomach.
    Coconut.

    86. A fruit for constipation.
    Raw apples.

    87. A fruit high in iron.
    Strawberries.

    88. Fruit for neutralising acid.
    Lemons.

    89. A fruit healthful for kidneys.
    Watermelon.

    90. A fruit fine for the nerves.
    Bananas.

    91. Two fruits thought anti-tobacco.
    Apples and grapes eaten raw.

    92. A fruit thought anti-cancer.
    Figs.

    93. Vegetable good for the kidneys.
    Celery.

    94. Vegetable that.s antibiotic.
    Garlic.

    95. Fruit to tune blood vessels.
    Oranges.

    96. Vegetable for fresh breath.
    Parsley.

    97. Ingredient good for the heart.
    Honey.

    98. A vegetable good for the eyes.
    Carrots.

    99. A good source of iodine.
    Kelp.

    100. A vegetable with high vitamin C .
    Green peppers.

    101. How to shine your refrigerator.
    Use bicarbonate of soda on a wet sponge.

    102. How to remove a hot cake pan.
    Use clothes pins.

    103. Keep windshields frost free.
    Apply solution 1 part vinegar to 3 parts water over windshield.

    104. Make dry cell batteries last longer.
    Seal in plastic bags, wrap in aluminium foil, keep in refrigerator.

    105. Remove wax from candle holders.
    Freeze holders in refrigerator and it will just peel off.

    106. Prevent kitchen stools from slipping.
    Put rubber tips from crutches on bottom of legs.

    107. Rid scratches from plastic watches.
    Use cotton bud dipped in nail polish remover, rub over face, scratch disappears.

    108. Excellent lubricant for appliances.
    Put a drop of glycerine in gears - makes an excellent lubricant!

    109. Keep garbage bags from slipping.
    Use 3 or 4 clothes pins, keeps them from slipping.

    110. How to clean glassware.
    Clean with stale tea. If they spot, soak in buttermilk, let dry and wipe off.

    111. How to clean carved furniture.
    Use an old tooth brush to clean then use furniture polish on brush.

    112. Remove ink from varnished furniture.
    Rub with soft cloth filled with equal parts vinegar and linseed oil.

    113. Remove mildew smell from luggage.
    Put a bar of soap in luggage before storing.

    114. Remove smoke, grease from woodwork.
    Paint wood with solution of starch and water, when dry rub off.

    115. Really shine your kitchen floor.
    Add some sour milk to your rinse water, it will shine!

    116. How to clean rust from chrome.
    Rub it with aluminium foil.

    117. How to really clean enamel.
    Use a paste of salt and vinegar then wipe off.

    118. Remove shoe polish from clothing.
    Use carbon tetrachloride or rubbing alcohol.

    119. Remove cigarette stains from china.
    Rub it with a cork that has been dipped in salt.

    120. Make your own ink eradicator.
    Mix one part liquid bleach to ten parts water. Works great!

    121. Make your appliances really shine.
    Rub them over with rubbing alcohol, they will stay shining.

    122. Remove stains from coffee cups.
    Rub with salt and vinegar.

    123. Make your own furniture polish.
    Use two parts olive oil to one part vinegar. Have it warm while using.

    124. Make your own silver polish,
    Tooth paste or baking soda makes an excellent silver polish.

    125. A really good copper cleaner.
    Use a paste of salt and vinegar.

    126. To clean your diamond rings.
    Use toothpaste with an old tooth brush, rub rinse and let dry.

    127. Clean tarnished gold and silver.
    Rub with paste of water and baking soda, rinse and let dry.

    128. How to make good jewellery cleaner.
    Clean with a solution of one teaspoon ammonia and one cup of water.

    129. Reset stone in your jewellery.
    Put clear nail varnish in the base, set the stone in and let dry.

    130. Prevent costume jewellery from tarnishing.
    Put a thin coat of transparent nail polish over it.

    131. Good cleaning aid for dishwashers.
    Add some vinegar to the dishwasher.

    132. Cure scratches on your furniture.
    Use machine oil or some colour shoe polish.

    133. Make a good fingernail brush.
    Cut down the bristles of an old tooth brush.

    134. Food for the whole litter (HOW).
    Use a muffin pan so the runts can have some.

    135. Lengthen life of wooden clothespins.
    Boil then in salt solution.

    136. Make a neat string dispenser.
    Nail a funnel to wall and pull string out of bottom of funnel.

    137. Tips on storing plastic curtains.
    Sprinkle talcum powder between the layers as you go.

    138. Basting made real easy (NEAT!).
    Just tape and sew around the pieces of tape.

    139. How to revive old clothing.
    Shave those little fluffs off with a safety razor.

    140. Make an emergency clothes brush.
    Wrap a piece of tape around the hand, sticky side out.

    141. Stop clothes catching on hangers.
    Put a coat of clear nail polish over splinters and rough edges.

    142. A needle sharpening pin cushion.
    Use a steel wool to fill your cushion, keeps needles sharp.

    143. Make a good yarn preserver.
    Wrap yarn around a moth ball for storage.

    144. Handy tips on cutting fur.
    Use a razor blade on back of fur when cutting, you won.t cut any hair.

    145. Tips on sewing slippery material.
    Stick a piece of waxed paper in seam, pull away when finished.

    146. Easy pick up of needle spills.
    Use a small magnet to pick up any needle spill.

    147. Excellent knitting tips.
    Keep ball of yarn in nylon stocking, will flow out free of tangles.

    148. How to get rid of shiny trousers.
    Make a solution of 1 part vinegar to 4 parts water, soak a cloth in it, wring out
    cloth put over trousers and press slightly.

    149. When you need heavy duty thread.
    Use dental floss.

    150. Make a handy tape measure.
    Just put tape around an old adhesive tape spool.

    151. Prevent nylon from yellowing.
    Add some baking soda to wash and rinse water.

    152. Make a perfect sock darner.
    Pull socks over a light bulb, makes it easy.

    153. How to restore velvet like new.
    Brush good and then hang in steamy bathroom.

    154. Get rid of knots on sweaters.
    Just rub a piece of sandpaper over sweater.

    155. How to remove lint from wool.
    Use a damp sponge and touch lightly.

    156. Caring for leather upholstery.
    Brush with skim milk every three months.

    157. Repair scuffed patent leather.
    Cover with same colour polish, let dry then cover with clear nail polish.

    158. Prevent patent leather cracking.
    Before each wearing, rub briskly with your hand, then a soft cloth.

    159. Repair scuffed baby shoes.
    Rub shoe with white of an egg.

    160. Tips on buying shoes
    Buy shoes in afternoon, feet tend to swell in the morning.

    161. What to do when shoes get stiff
    Cut a raw potato and rub all over. They will come back to life.

    162. Black suede shoes last longer.
    Wash with warm water then rub castor oil into leather.

    163. How to soften leather shoes.
    Sponge with black coffee.

    164. Remove salt rings from shoes.
    Brush with solution of vinegar and water.

    165. Keep vegetables green while cooking.
    Lift the lid of the cooking vessel from time to time while cooking.

    166. Get juice from dried up lemon.
    Boil it for a few minutes.

    167. Quick onion rings.
    Onions slice more easily, if you leave skins on while slicing.

    168. How to kill taste of olive oil.
    Add a touch of salt.

    169. Good bread crumb substitute.
    Potato chips, corn chips or pretzels.

    170. How to keep your berries fresh.
    Don.t wash until ready to use and keep in refrigerator until ready to use.

    171. How to cut a soft pie.
    Use a buttered knife to cut through a soft pie.

    172. How to cut a frosted cake.
    Rinse knife in hot water first each time you cut a slice.

    173. How to make fluffy egg omelette.
    Add a teaspoon of corn starch when mixing eggs.

    174. Keep dressing from going rancid.
    Put a spoon of sugar in it.

    175. How to stop cabbage odours.
    Throw a couple of walnut kernels in pot while cooking.

    176. When you need soft butter quick..
    If your butter is frozen, grate it, it.s the same as soft butter.

    177. How to keep cauliflower white.
    Pour a little milk in the water when boiling cauliflower.

    178. When is the omelette done.
    When you press it lightly and it springs back.

    179. Keep milk from scorching.
    Add a pinch of sugar while cooking and do not stir.

    180. Cheese cutting tips.
    A dull knife is more successful than a sharp one.

    181. When you need an extra egg.
    When you need an extra egg for a recipe add a little corn starch.

    182. Peel onions without tears.
    Let water run over them while peeling.

    183. The proper way to ripen fruit.
    Keep it out in open at room temperature.

    184. How to pick fresh eggs.
    Old eggs are shin, fresh eggs are rough and have bumps.

    185. How to cut acidity in coffee.
    Add a pinch of salt.

    186. Good refrigerator deodoriser.
    Keep an open box of baking soda in it at all times.

    187. What to do about grease spills.
    Pour ice water over it, it will lift off before it can soak in.

    188. Make a good egg separator.
    Crack egg, put in small funnel, white will come through separated from yoke.

    189. Reduce wilting of root vegetables.
    Cut off the tops as soon as you get them.

    190. Keep vegetables fresh longer.
    Put paper towels in bottom of bin. It will absorb moisture which causes decay.

    191. How to keep meat fresh looking.
    Cover the cut side with leaves of lettuce.

    192. How to perk up wilted lettuce.
    Soak in cold water with a dash of lemon juice, cool in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

    193. Make frozen vegetables fresh.
    Pour boiling water over them. Restores fresh taste.

    194. The best way to slice onions.
    Freezing them first.

    195. Keep beets and cabbage red.
    Add lemon juice or vinegar to the water.

    196. Keep potatoes from sprouting.
    Store apples with them.

    197. Get rid of cooking odours.
    Boil hand full of cloves in water for 30 minutes. All odours will disappear.

    198. Truss poultry so it will stay.
    Use dental floss, it will not burn.

    199. Tell when custard is done.
    Stick knife into custard, if it comes out clean, it is done

    200. Tips for cutting hot cake.
    Use a thread, hold both ends tightly and lower through slowly.
    Comments

    21 century...

    Our communication - Wireless
    Our dress - Topless
    Our telephone - Cordless
    Our cooking - Fireless
    Our youth - Jobless
    Our food - Fatless
    Our labour - Effortless
    Our conduct - Worthless
    Our relation - Loveless
    Our attitude - Careless
    Our feelings - Heartless
    Our politics - Shameless
    Our education - Valueless
    Our follies - Countless
    Our arguments - Baseless

    Our boss - Brainless
    Our Job - Thankless
    Our Salary - Very less
    Our Future - Hopeless!

    Comments

    30 Years difference


    1974 : Long hair
    2004: Longing for hair


    1974: KEG
    2004: EKG


    1974: Acid rock
    2004: Acid reflux


    1974: Moving to California because it's cool
    2004: Moving to California because it's warm


    1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
    2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor


    1974: Seeds and stems
    2004: Roughage


    1974: Hoping for a BMW
    2004 Hoping for a BM


    1974: The Grateful Dead
    2004: Dr. Kevorkian


    1974: Going to a new, hip joint
    2004: Receiving a new hip joint


    1974: Rolling Stones
    2004: Kidney Stones


    1974: Screw the system
    2004: Upgrade the system


    1974: Disco
    2004: Costco


    1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
    2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved


    1974: Passing the drivers' test
    2004: Passing the vision test


    1974: Whatever
    2004: Depends




    Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change
    things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a
    list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's
    incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:


    The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born
    in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.


    Their lifetime has always included AIDS.


    Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.


    The CD was introduced the year they were born.


    They have always had an answering machine.

    They have always had cable.


    They cannot fathom not having a remote control.


    Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.


    Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.


    They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.


    They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.


    They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.


    They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or
    "de plane Boss, de plane".



    They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.


    McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.


    They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.


    Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.
    Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have trouble reading.

    Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.




    Comments

    Watch the sunset together.

    2. Whisper to each other.

    3. Cook for each other.

    4. Walk in the rain.

    5. Hold hands

    6. Buy gifts for each other.

    7. Roses.

    8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.

    9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.

    10. Write poetry for each other.

    11. Hugs are the universal medicine.

    12. Say only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.

    13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.

    14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!

    15. Spend every second possible together.

    16. Look into each other's eyes.

    17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.


    18. When in public, only flirt with each other.

    19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.

    20. Buy her a ring.

    21. Sing to each other.

    22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.

    23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.

    24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)

    25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.

    26. Dance together.

    27. I love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.

    28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.

    29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes

    30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.

    31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.

    32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.

    34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.

    35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.

    36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.

    37. Hang out with his/her friends.

    38. Go to church/pray/worship together.

    39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.

    40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.

    41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.

    42. Make sacrifices for each other.

    43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.

    44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.

    45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.

    46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.

    47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.

    48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.

    49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.

    50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."


    Comments

    9 THINGS GOD WON'T ASK on that judgment day...



    1. God won't ask what kind of car you drove; He'll ask how many
    people you drove who didn't have transportation.


    2. God won't ask the square footage of your house, He'll ask how
    many people you welcomed into your home.



    3. God won't ask about the clothes you had in your closet, He'll
    ask how many you helped to clothe.



    4. God won't ask what your highest salary was; He'll ask if you
    compromised your character to obtain it, and performed your job to the
    best of your ability.



    5. God won't ask how many friends you had; He'll ask how many
    people to whom you were a friend.



    6. God won't ask in what neighborhood you lived, He'll ask how
    you treated your neighbors.



    7. God won't ask about the color of your skin, He'll ask about
    the content of your character.



    8. God won't ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation;
    He'll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of
    Hell.



    9.God won't have to ask how many people you forwarded this to.
    He already knows whether you will or not.
    Comments

    9 Things I Hate About Everyone


    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


    2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.


    3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".?Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?


    4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!


    5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.


    6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?


    7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.


    8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?


    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?


    Comments

    Listen to this ....
    This makes you think !!!

    If we could shrink the earth's population to a village
    of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human
    ratios remaining the same, it would look something
    like the following :
    There would be:

    57 Asians
    21 Europeans
    14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
    8 Africans
    52 would be female
    48 would be male
    70 would be non-white
    30 would be white
    70 would be non-Christian
    30 would be Christian
    6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's
    wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.
    80 would live in substandard housing
    70 would be unable to read
    50 would suffer from malnutrition
    1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth
    1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
    1 would own a computer



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    If you woke up this morning with more health than
    illness...you are more blessed than the million who
    will not survive this week.

    If you have never experienced the danger of battle,
    the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture,
    or the pangs of starvation...you are ahead of 500
    million people in the world.

    If you can attend a relgous meeting without fear of
    harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are more
    blessed than three billion people in the world.

    If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your
    back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are
    richer than 75% of this world.

    If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and
    spare change in a dish someplace ... you are among the
    top 8% of the world's wealthy.

    If your parents are still alive and still married ...
    you are very rare, even in the United States and
    Canada.

    If you can read this message, you just received a
    double blessing in that someone was thinking of you,
    and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two
    billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

    Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

    Work like you don't need the money.
    Love like you've never been hurt.
    Dance like nobody's watching.
    Sing like nobody's listening.
    Live like it's Heaven on Earth.


    Comments





    Dear Sirs:
    I am writing in response to George Watkin's recent request for
    additional information in Block 13 of the accident reporting
    form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You
    said in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust
    that the following details will be sufficient.

    I am a bricklayer working for Fletch Waggoner on his new
    building. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the
    roof of the 6th story. When I completed my work, I discovered I
    had about 500 lbs. of bricks left over. Rather than carry the
    bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using
    a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the side of the
    building at the 6th floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I
    went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks
    into it. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope,
    holding it tightly to insure a slow decent of the 500 lbs. of
    bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident reporting form
    that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked
    off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot
    to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather
    rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the
    3rd floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding in a
    downward direction at an equally impressive rate of speed. This
    explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions, and the broken
    collar bone, as listed in Sec. III of the accident report form.

    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping
    until the fingers of my right hand were 2 knuckles deep into the
    pulley, which I mentioned in Paragraph 13 of this correspondence.
    Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and
    was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the
    excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approx.
    the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground - and
    the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of
    the bricks, the barrel now weighed approx. 50 lbs. I refer you
    again to my weight in Block 11.

    As you might imagine, I began a rapid decent down the side of the
    building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel
    coming up. This accounts for the 2 fractured ankles, broken
    tooth, severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my
    luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel
    seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into
    the pile of bricks and fortunately only cracked 3 vertebrae.

    I am sorry to report, that as I lay there in the pile of bricks
    in pain, unable to move, and watching the empty barrel 6 stories
    above me, I again lost my presence of mind and let go of the
    rope..........

    Comments

    EXCUSES

    The following is a collection of "actual excuse notes from parents
    (including spelling)" from the Office of Educational Assessment at
    the University of Washington.

    * My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
    Please execute him.
    * Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her
    shot.
    * Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,
    30, 31,32, and also 33.
    * Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
    * Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he
    fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
    * John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his
    face.
    * Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He
    was hurt in the growing part.
    * Megan could not come to school today because she has been
    bothered by very close veins.
    * Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
    * Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea
    and his boots leak.
    * Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
    * Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
    * Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot
    to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it
    Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
    * Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend
    her funeral.
    * My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She
    spent a weekend with the Marines.
    * Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold
    and could not breed well.
    * Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed
    with gramps.
    * Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
    * Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
    * Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
    sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also
    sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever
    and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and
    fever. There must be something going around, her father even
    got hot last night.

    Comments


    Something went wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
    Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
    Farmer Bill Dies in House
    Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
    Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
    Stud Tires Out
    Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
    British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
    Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
    Eye Drops Off Shelf
    Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
    Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
    Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
    Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
    Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
    Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
    Miners Refuse to Work After Death
    Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    Stolen Painting Found By Tree
    Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
    Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Line
    Killer Sentenced to Die For Second Time in 10 Years
    Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
    War Dims Hope for Peace
    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
    Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
    Deer Kill 17,000
    Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
    New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
    Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
    British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
    Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
    Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
    Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
    New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
    Man Minus Ear Waves Hearing
    Deaf College Opens Doors To Hearing
    Air Head Fired
    Steals Clock, Faces Time
    Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
    Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
    Bank Drive-in Windows Blocked By Board
    Hospitals are sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
    Include your Children when Baking Cookies










    Seth Croston Barber <kn1ght@cyberis.net>
    Last modified: Wed Oct 06 13:29:35 PDT 1999



    Comments

    THE FOLLOWING ARE ACTUAL STATEMENTS FOUND ON INSURANCE FORMS WHERE CAR DRIVERS
    ATTEMPTED TO SUMMARIZE THE DETAILS OF AN ACCIDENT IN THE FEWEST WORDS POSSIBLE.
    THE INSTANCES OF FAULTY WRITING SERVE TO CONFIRM THAT EVEN INCOMPETENT WRITING
    MAY BE HIGHLY ENTERTAINING!

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't
    have.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of it's intentions.

    I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head
    through it.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

    A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

    The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit
    him.

    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
    headed over the embankment.

    In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached
    an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the
    other car.

    I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an
    accident.

    I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint
    gave way causing me to have an accident.

    As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no
    stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the
    accident.

    To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

    My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, found that I
    had fractured my skull.

    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road
    when I struck him.

    The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

    I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my
    car.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big
    mouth.

    I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by
    some stray cows.

    The telephone pole was approaching, I was attempting to swerve out of it's way
    when it struck the front end.
    Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open
    
    Comments

    1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year 6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 9. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

    10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 12. She is numb from her toes down. 13. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. 14. The skin was moist and dry. 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches. 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive. 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. (I bet that hurt) 18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

    20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present. 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor. 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities. The best one I ever actually saw was at the S. Nassau Hospital outpatient mental health clinic where someone had transcribed a psychiatrist's order as: "patient to have an enema of the brain" when what he ordered was an MRI of the brain.
    Comments





    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
    safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
    Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:


    "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out
    of this airplane..."

    "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event
    of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments."

    "We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke,
    contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing
    of the airplane."

    "Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in
    the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately."

    Pilot - "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going
    to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish,
    but please stay inside the plane till we land... it's a bit cold
    outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."

    And, after landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We
    hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you
    for a ride."

    As we waited just off the runway for another airliner to cross
    in front of us, some of the passengers were beginning to retrieve
    luggage from the overhead bins. The head attendant announced on the
    intercom, "This aircraft is equipped with a video surveillance system
    that monitors the cabin during taxiing. Any passengers not remaining in
    their seats until the aircraft comes to a full and complete stop at the
    gate will be strip-searched as they leave the aircraft.

    Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising
    altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to
    autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for
    the rest of the flight."

    As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a
    lone voice comes over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella...WHOA..!"

    "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the
    overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before
    assisting children or adults acting like children."

    "As you exit the plane, please make sure to sure to gather all of your
    belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the
    flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
    "Last one off the plane must clean it."

    And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have
    some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none
    of them are on this flight...!"

    Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in
    Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,
    "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to
    tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault,
    it wasn't the flight attendants' fault.....it was the asphalt!"

    Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a
    particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain
    was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the
    Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen,
    welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts
    fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the
    gate!"

    Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We
    ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
    terminal."

    After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a
    flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when
    opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that,
    sure as hell everything has shifted."

    From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight
    XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the
    buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if
    you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in
    public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure,
    oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask,
    and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with
    you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are
    traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.
    Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
    they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and
    remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest
    Airlines."

    An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
    his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
    required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
    exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said
    that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
    passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
    Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
    with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no
    Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we
    land or were we shot down?"

    After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came
    on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until
    Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching
    halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the
    warning bells are silent, we'll open the door and you can pick your way
    through the wreckage to the terminal.

    Part of a Flight Attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank
    you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the
    insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal
    tube, we hope you'll think of us here at USAirways."



    Comments

    Women who read romance novels have sex twice as often as those who don't.

    Taco Bell changed the Chilito's name to the Chili Cheese Burrito, only after
    discovering that "chilito" was a derogatory slang term in Spanish that meant
    "small penis."

    In many cultures, an unmarried woman is considered a virgin, even if she's a
    prostitute. It's only after marriage that she loses her virginity.

    A law in Fairbanks, Alaska does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.

    Studies prove its harder to tell a convincing lie to someone you find
    sexually attractive.

    66% pet owners claim they allowed their pets to remain in the bedroom during
    lovemaking.

    "Anorgasmy" is the clinical term for the inability to achieve orgasm.

    Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200.

    Average speed of male ejaculation: 28 miles per hour.

    About 50% of women have one breast that is larger than the other.

    Ancient Greeks admired the small firm penis, and considered the large member
    aesthetically unappealing.

    The word "vanilla" comes from the Latin word for vagina, because of the
    vanilla pod's resemblance to the female genitalia.

    The left testicle usually hangs lower than the right, although the reverse
    may be true of left-handed men.

    In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver
    inside a tollbooth.

    The word "gymnasium" comes from the Greek word gymnazein which means "to
    exercise naked."

    It takes just 35 days for a mouse to reach sexual maturity. It takes a
    female gorilla six years to reach sexual maturity.

    In 1709 it was believed that the widespread infertility of Spanish women was
    due to singing during sex.

    "Erotodromomania" is the abnormal impulse to travel to escape painful sexual
    situations.

    In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while
    standing in front of a man's picture.

    A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man
    while riding in an ambulance.

    The clinical term for a hairy buttocks is "daysypgal."

    The Netherlands has the lowest incidence of teen pregnancies, abortions and
    sexually transmitted diseases among Western nations.

    An adulterous Greek male was sometimes punished by the removal of his pubic
    hair and the insertion of a large radish into his rectum.

    Ultrasound tests have revealed that male fetuses have the capability for
    erections in the last trimester of gestation.

    The well-recognized Egyptian Ankh is actually a symbol representing the male
    and female sex organs the upper oval represents the womb of the woman, and
    the lower vertical line represents the sexual organ of the male.

    More than 110 billion Tampax tampons have been sold since 1936.

    The first automatic vibrator was invented in 1869 and was steam powered. It
    was used to treat female disorders.

    The gestation period of the macaque is 160 days. For sheep, its 150 days.
    For dogs, its 61 days.

    According to Kinsey, half of the men raised on farms have had a sexual
    encounter with an animal.

    Odors that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate,
    doughnuts, pumpkin pie.

    The average teaspoon of semen contains 5-7 calories.

    The origin of the word "penis" is Latin, meaning "tail."

    About 100 calories are burned during human sexual intercourse.

    "Passion purpura" is the medical term for a hickey.



    Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.



    Odds of being killed by falling out of bed- 1 in 2
    million.

    The average person swallows three spiders annually.

    Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture
    dealer.

    Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His
    parents thought he might be retarded.

    The Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota is the
    size of 78football fields --- 9.5 million square feet.


    A-1 Steak Sauce contains both orange peels and
    raisins.

    Two out of five husbands tell their wife daily that
    they love them.

    Beaver Cleaver's locker number was #9

    The most collect calls are made on Father's Day.

    The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

    George Washington grew marijuana in his garden.


    Americans use over 16,000 tons of aspirin a year.

    All elephants walk on tiptoe, because the back portion
    of
    their foot is made up of all fat and no bone.

    Comments

    "Ancient Chinese Proverbs"



    Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

    Man who run in front of car get tired.

    Man who run behind car get exhausted.

    Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

    Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

    Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

    Man with one chopstick go hungry.

    Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

    Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

    Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.


    Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.

    War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

    Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

    Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

    It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

    Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

    Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

    Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

    Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.


    Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

    Crowded elevator smell different to midget

    Comments

    Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
    tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are
    afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten
    apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.So the apples at the
    top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.
    They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave
    enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
    Comments

    Attitude - Truth
    Comments

    Barney, the cute purple dinosaur, is Satan.

    Proof:

    Given: Barney is a cute purple dinosaur.

    Extract the Roman numerals:
    (and remember that the Romans had no letter 'U',
    they used 'V' instead)

    CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
    CV V L DI V

    Add them:
    100 + 5 + 5 + 50 + 500 + 1 + 5 = 666


    Q. E. D. We suspected it all along.
    Comments

    JANUARY:
    Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to
    teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes
    to criticize. Hardworking and
    productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts.
    Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather
    reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds.
    Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal.
    Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money
    cautious.
    _______________________________________________
    FEBRUARY:
    Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and
    clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy
    and humble. Honest
    and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when
    restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry
    really easily but thoes not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves
    making friends but rarely
    shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
    Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside.
    Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
    _________________________________
    MARCH:
    Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive.
    Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
    Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy.
    Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others.
    Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention.
    Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented.
    Loves special things. Moody.
    _________________________________
    APRIL:
    Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret.
    Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention.
    Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and
    fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional.
    Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others.
    Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their luver
    can see.
    _________________________________
    MAY:
    Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp
    thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep
    feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no
    motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong
    clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
    imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts.
    Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
    Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.
    _________________________________
    JUNE:
    Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and
    soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends
    to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and
    humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer.
    Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily
    hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom
    shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive.
    Stubborn.
    _________________________________
    JULY:
    Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.
    Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation.
    Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful.
    Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and
    easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
    Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and
    mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving.
    Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges
    people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves
    to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be
    quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not
    aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.
    Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.
    _________________________________
    AUGUST:
    Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless.
    Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous
    and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises.
    Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous.
    Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves
    to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and
    defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns
    to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make
    friends .
    _________________________________
    SEPTEMBER:
    Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to
    point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to
    talk
    well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed.
    Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.
    Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for
    information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate
    oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure
    and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very
    choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.
    _________________________________
    OCTOBER:
    Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at
    the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't
    pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making
    friends.
    Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of
    what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to
    travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves
    outdoors. Just and fair.
    Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
    _________________________________
    NOVEMBER:
    Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique
    and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong
    clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive.
    Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but
    amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is
    a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry
    unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others.
    Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises.
    High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic.
    Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities.
    Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions.
    Unpredictable
    _________________________________
    DECEMBER:
    Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions.
    Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be
    with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved.
    Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing
    personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions.
    Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

    Comments


    Dance Like No One's Watching
    By: Crystal Boyd

    We convince ourselves that life will be better after
    we get married, have a baby, then another.
    Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough

    and we'll be more content when they are.

    After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to
    deal with.
    We will certainly be happy when they are out of that
    stage.
    We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our
    spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer
    car, are able to go on a nice vacation,or when we retire.

    The truth is, there's no better time to be happy than right now.
    If not now, when? Your life will always be filled with challenges.
    It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be
    happy anyway.
    Happiness is the way. So, treasure every moment that you have
    and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special,
    special enough to spend your time with...and remember that time
    waits for no one.

    So, stop waiting

    --until your car or home is paid off
    --until you get a new car or home
    --until your kids leave the house
    --until you go back to school
    --until you lose ten pounds
    --until you gain ten pounds
    --until you finish school
    --until you get a divorce
    --until you get married
    --until you have kids
    --until you retire
    --until summer
    --until spring
    --until winter
    --until fall
    --until you die

    There is no better time than right now to be happy.

    Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

    So -- work like you don't need money,
    Love like you've never been hurt,
    And dance like no one's watching.

    Comments


    Chinese Food To Eat In Or Take Out





    Soups
      Dropped Egg Soup   1.75
      *One Ton Soup   1.75
      Hot & Scalding Soup   2.25
      Ten Ingredients Water   3.25
      Sweet and Salmonella Soup   2.95
      *Chinese Fire Drill Soup   2.50
      *Happy Bacteria Cup   2.50


    Appetizers
      Steam-Cleaned Dumplings   3.95
      *Burn Your Tongue Platter   8.95
      Barbecued Bear Ribs   6.30
      *Scallion Cow Pancakes (For Two)   2.95
      MSG With Orange Flavor   4.95


    Noodles
      *Cellophane Noodles with Styrofoam Peanuts   5.50
      Cold Noodles in Sesame Sauce   3.50
      Some Glum Noodles   8.25
      No Fun Noodles   4.75


    Pork
      New Shoe Pork   6.75
      Roasted Pork in Shriner Hat   6.95
      Recently Shampooed Pork   6.95
      Andrew Diced Pork   9.75
      *Roast Pork Puppy Chow   7.25
      *Porky Pig Cartoonese Style   7.50
      Pork And Mindy   6.75


    Vegetables
      *Broccoli in Human Sauce   5.95
      Shredded Documents with Peking sauce   5.25
      *Bean Crud with Special Rotting Fungus   6.25
      *Snow Shovel with Peas   7.75
      Egg Neil Young Green Beans with Black Bean Sauce   4.95
      Black Beans with Green Bean Suace   5.95
      Eggplant Prepared Under Mysterious Circumstances   5.95
      *Baby Corn with Adoption Papers   4.95
      Vegetables with Tingling Horse Flavor   5.50
      Vegetables with Green Bean Suace   5.95


    Poultry
      Sand Diego Chicken with Pin Tar   6.25.
      Battering Ram Chicken   6.25
      Peeking Daffy Duck   7.50
      *Lemon Pledge Chicken   6.25
      Amazing Talking Chicken   8.75
      *Tongue Licked Duck   7.50
      Chicken & Grief   6.25
      Duck Edwing Prepared in Questionable Taste   6.25
      *Chicken Escaping With Wings   7.75
      Mocked Duck   7.25
      *General Schwarzkopf Chicken   6.75
      Goofy Grinning Chicken   6.75
      Innocent Bystander Chicken   6.25
      Moo Goo Guy Williams   8.75
      *Moo Goo Guy Molinari   8.25
      Moo Goo Guy Pan & Teller in Disappearing Sauce   4.50

    Comments

    Go ahead - check out your birth date and see what you're all
    about.....
    Birthdays: (Look below for your characteristics)
    January 01 - 09 ~ Dog
    January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse
    January 25 - 31 ~ Lion
    February 01 - 05 ~ Cat
    February 06 - 14 ~ Dove
    February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle
    February 22 - 28 ~ Panther
    March 01 - 12 ~ Monkey
    March 13 - 15 ~ Lion
    March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse
    March 24 - 31 ~ Cat
    April 01 - 03 ~ Dog
    April 04 - 14 ~ Panther
    April 15 - 26 ~ Mouse
    April 27 - 30 ~ Turtle
    May 01 - 13 ~ Monkey
    May 14 - 21 ~ Dove
    May 22 - 31 ~ Lion
    June 01 - 03 ~ Mouse
    June 04 - 14 ~ Turtle
    June 15 - 20 ~ Dog
    June 21 - 24 ~ Monkey
    June 25 - 30 ~ Cat
    July 01 - 09 ~ Mouse
    July 10 - 15 ~ Dog
    July 16 - 26 ~ Dove
    July 27 - 31 ~ Cat
    August 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
    August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse
    August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle
    September 01 - 14 ~ Dove
    September 15 - 27 ~ Cat
    September 28 - 30 ~ Dog
    October 01 - 15 ~ Monkey
    October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle
    October 28 - 31 ~ Panther
    November 01 - 16 ~ Lion
    November 17 - 30 ~ Cat
    December 01 - 16 ~ Dog
    December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey
    December 26 - 31 ~ Dove
    If you are a Dog: A very loyal and sweet person. Your
    loyalty can
    never
    be doubted. You are quite honest and sincere when it
    comes to your
    attitude
    towards working. You are a very simple person, indeed.
    Absolutely hassle
    free, humble and down-to-earth!! That explains the
    reason why your
    friends
    cling on to you! You have a good taste for clothes. If
    your wardrobe is
    not
    updated with what is trendy, you sure are depressed.
    Popular and
    easy-going. You have a little group of dignified
    friends, all of them
    being
    quality-personified.
    If you are a Mouse: Always up to some sort of a
    mischief! The
    mischievous
    gleam in your eyes is what makes you so cute and
    attractive to everyone.
    You are an extremely fun-to-be-with kind of person. No
    wonder, people
    seek
    for your company and look forward to include you for
    all get-togethers.
    However, you are sensitive, which is a drawback.
    People need to select
    their words while talking to you. If someone tries to
    fiddle around and
    play with words while dealing with you, it is enough
    to invite your
    wrath.
    God bless the person then!
    If you are a Lion: Quite contradictory to your name,
    you are a peace
    loving person. You best try to avoid a situation
    wherein you are required
    to fight. An outdoor person, you dislike sitting at
    one place for a long
    duration. You are a born leader, and have it in you
    how to tactfully
    derive
    work from people. You love being loved, and when you
    receive your share
    of
    limelight from someone, you are all theirs!!!! Well,
    well... hence some
    people could even take an advantage, flatter you to
    the maximum and get
    their work done. So be careful.....
    If you are a Cat: An extremely lovable, adorable
    person, sometimes
    shy,
    with a passion for quick wit. At times, you prefer
    quietness. You love
    exploring various things and going into depth of each
    thing. Under normal
    circumstances you're cool, when given a reason to, you
    are like a volcano
    waiting to erupt. You're a fashion bird. People look
    forward to you as an
    icon associated with fashion. Basically, you mingle
    along freely but
    don't like talking much to strangers. People feel very
    easy in your company.
    You
    observe care in choosing your friends.
    If you are a Turtle: You are near to perfect and nice
    at >heart. The
    examples of your kindness are always circulated in
    groups of people. You,
    too, love peace. You wouldn't like to retaliate even
    to a person who is
    in
    the wrong. You are loved due to this. You do not wish
    to talk behind
    one's
    back. People love the way you always treat them. You
    can give, give and
    give love, and the best part is that you do not expect
    it back in return.
    You are generous enough. Seeing things in a practical
    light is what
    remains
    the best trait of you guys.
    If you are a Dove: You symbolize a very happy-go-lucky
    approach in
    life.
    Whatever the surroundings may be, grim or cheerful,
    you remain
    unaffected.
    In fact, you spread cheer wherever you go. You are the
    leader of your
    group
    of friends and good at consoling people in their times
    of need. You
    dislike
    hypocrisy and tend to shirk away from hypocrites. They
    can never be in
    your
    good books, no matter what. You are very methodical
    and organized in your
    work. No amount of mess, hence, can ever encompass
    you. Beware, it is
    easy
    for you to fall in love....
    If you are a Panther: You are mysterious. You are
    someone who can
    handle
    pressure with ease, and can handle any atmosphere
    without going berserk.
    You can be mean at times, and love to gossip with your
    selected group.
    Very
    prim and proper. You like all situations and things to
    be in the way you
    desire, which, sometimes is not possible. As a result,
    you may lose out
    in
    some relationships. But otherwise, you love to help
    people out from
    difficult and tight spots when they really need you.
    If you are a Monkey: Very impatient and hyper!!! You
    want things to
    be
    done as quick as possible. At heart, you are quite
    simple and love if you
    are the center of attraction. That way, you people are
    unique. You would
    like to keep yourself safe from all the angles. Shall
    your name be
    dragged
    or featured in any sort of a controversy, you then go
    all panicky.
    Therefore, you take your precautions from the very
    beginning. When you
    foresee anything wrong, your sixth sense is what saves
    you from falling
    in
    traps. Quite a money minded bunch you people are!!
    Comments


    >
    > The birth date describes who we are, what we are good at and what our in
    > born abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the
    > challenges we are facing.
    >
    > To figure out your Birth Number, add all the numbers in (your) birth date
    > together like in the example until there is only one digit. The Birth
    Number
    > does not prevent you from being anything you want, it will just color your
    > choice differently.
    >
    > Example: March 20, 1950
    >
    > 3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973 = 1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20 = 2 + 0 = 2
    >
    > 2 is the Birth Number to read for the birth date in the example.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    >
    >
    > # 1 THE ORIGINATOR :
    >
    > 1's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and executing them is
    > natural.Having things their own way is another trait that gets them
    labeled
    > as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are extremely honest and do well to
    > learn some diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are
    often
    > leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best. Being self-employed is
    > definitely helpful for them.
    > Lesson to learn: Others' ideas might be just as good or better and to stay
    > open minded.
    > Famous 1's: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett,
    > Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    > # 2 THE PEACEMAKER :
    >
    > 2's are the born diplomats. They aware of others' needs and moods and
    > often think of others before themselves. Naturally analytical and very
    > intuitive they don't like to be alone. Friendship and companionship is
    very
    > important and can lead them to be successful in life, but on the other
    hand
    > they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being
    > naturally shy they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express
    > themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off.
    > Famous 2's: Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoppi Goldberg, Thomas Edison,
    > Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    > # 3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY :
    >
    >
    > 3's are idealists. They are very creative, social, charming,
    romantic,
    > and easygoing. They start many things, but don't always see them through.
    > They like others to be happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They
    are
    > very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from a
    more
    > realistic point of view.
    > Famous 3's: Alan Alda, Ann Landers, Bill Crosby, Melanie Griffith,
    > Salvador Dali, Jody Foster.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    > # 4 THE CONSERVATIVE :
    >
    > 4's are sensible and traditional. They like order and routine. They
    > only act when they fully understand what they are expected to do. They
    like
    > getting their hands dirty and working hard. They are attracted to the
    > outdoors and feel an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and
    can
    > be stubborn and persistent. They should learn to be more flexible and to
    be
    > nice to themselves.
    >
    > Famous 4's: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger,
    > Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    > # 5 THE NONCONFORMIST :
    >
    > 5's are the explorers. Their natural curiosity, risk taking, and
    > enthusiasm often lands them in hot water. They need diversity, and don't
    > like to be stuck in a rut. The whole world is their school and they see a
    > arning
    > possibility in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well
    > advised to look before they take action and make sure they have all the
    > facts before jumping to conclusions.
    > Famous 5's: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter,
    Vincent
    > Van Gogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hamil.
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    > # 6 THE ROMANTIC :
    >
    > 6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be happy. A strong
    family
    > connection is important to them. Their emotions influence their decisions.
    > They have a strong urge to take care of others and to help. They are very
    > loyal and make great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal
    > friends who take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to
    differentiate
    > between what they can change and what they cannot.
    > Famous 6's: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep,
    > Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    > # 7 THE INTELLECTUAL :
    >
    > 7's are the searchers. Always probing for hidden information, they
    find
    > it difficult to accept things at face value. Emotions don't sway their
    > decisions. Questioning everything in life, they don't like to be
    questioned
    > themselves. They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is slow and
    > steady wins the race. They come across as philosophers and being very
    > knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners. They are technically clined and
    make
    > great researchers uncovering information. They like secrets. They live in
    > their own world and should learn what is acceptable and what not in the
    > world at large.
    > Famous 7's: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan
    > Baez, Princess Diana.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    > # 8 THE BIG SHOT :
    >
    > 8's are the problem solvers. They are professional, blunt and to the
    > point, have good judgment and are decisive. They have grandiose plans and
    > like to live the good life. They are take charge people. They view people
    > objectively. They let you know in no uncertain terms that they are the
    boss.
    > They should learn to base their decisions on their own needs rather that
    on
    > what others want.
    > Famous 8's: Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George Harrison, Jane
    Fonda,
    > Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    ------
    >
    > #9 THE PERFORMER :
    >
    > 9's are natural entertainers. They are very caring and generous,
    giving
    > away their last dollar to help. With their charm, they have no problem
    > making friends and nobody is a stranger to them. They have so many
    different
    > personalities that people around them have a hard time understanding them.
    > They are like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have
    > tremendous luck, but also can suffer
    > from extremes in fortune and mood. To be successful, they need to build a
    > loving foundation.
    > Famous 9's: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford,
    Gloria
    > Steinem, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley.

    Comments

    Your birthday......

    December 23rd~ January 1st = Red
    January 2nd ~ January 11th = Orange
    January 12th ~ January 24th = Yellow
    January 25th ~ February 3rd = Pink
    February 4th ~ February 8th = Blue
    February 9th ~ February 18th = Green
    February 19th ~ February 28th = Brown
    February 1st ~ March 10th = Aqua
    March 11th ~ March 20th = Lime
    March 21st = Black
    March 22nd ~ March 31st = Purple
    April 1st ~ April 10th = Navy
    April 11th ~ April 20th = Silver
    April 21st ~ April 30th = White
    May 2st ~ May 14th = Blue
    May 15th ~ May 24th = Gold
    May 25th ~ June 3rd = Cream
    June 4th ~ June 13th = Grey
    June 14th ~ June 23rd = Maroon
    June 24th = Grey
    June 25th ~ July 4th = Red
    July 5th ~ July 14th = Orange
    July 15th ~ July 25th = Yellow
    July 26th ~ August 4th = Pink
    August 5th ~ August 13th = Blue
    August 14th ~ August 23rd = Green
    August 24th ~ September 2nd = Brown
    September 3rd ~ Septemeber 12th = Aqua
    September 13th ~ September 22nd = Lime
    September 23rd = Olive
    September 24th ~October 3rd = Purple
    October 4th ~ October 13th = Navy
    October 14th ~ October 23rd = Silver
    October 24th ~November 11th = White
    November 12th ~ November 21st = Gold
    November22nd ~ December 1st = Cream
    December 2nd ~ December 11th = Grey
    December 12th~ December 21st = Maroon
    Decmeber 22nd = Teal

    *RED*

    Cute and lovable type, You are picky but always in
    love...and liked to be loved. Fresh and cheerful,
    but can be "moody" at times. Capable with people
    nice, soft, and that can love you for the way you
    are. Likes people that are easy to talk to, and can
    make you feel comfortable.

    *CREAM*

    Competitive and sportive. Don't like losing and
    always cheerful! You are trustworthy, and very out
    going. You choose love carefully, and don't fall in
    love easily. But once you find the right one, you
    don't let go for a long long time.

    *TEAL*

    You are mostly interested in your looks. And have
    high standards in picking love. You think and make a
    solution precisely, and hardly make stupid mistakes.
    You like to lead, and is easy for you to make new
    friends.

    *GREY*

    You are attractive, and active. You never hide your
    feelings, and express everything thats inside. But
    can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and
    don't like to be treated un eqaully. You can
    brighten up people's day. You know what to say at
    the right time, and you have good sense of humour.

    *GREEN*

    You get along well with new people You are not
    really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt
    people's feelings by your words... You like to be
    loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are
    single waiting for the right person.

    *GOLD*

    You know what's right and what's wrong. You are
    cheerful and out going. It's hard for you to find
    the one you want, but once you find the right
    person, you won't be able to fall in love again for
    a long time.

    *PINK*

    You are always trying your best in everything, and
    like to help and care for other people. But you are
    not easily satisfied. You have negative thoughts,
    and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale.

    *YELLOW*

    You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people,
    and have a strong leadership towards relationships.
    You make good decision and make the right choice at
    the right time. And always dreaming of romactic
    relationship.

    *MAROON*

    You are intellegent, and know what's right. You
    like to make things go your way, which can sometimes
    cause trouble for not thinking about other people's
    feelings. But you be patient when it comes to
    love... Once you get a hold of the right person,
    it's hard for you to find a better love.

    *ORANGE*

    You are responsible for your own actions, and you
    know how to treat people. You always have goals to
    reach, and are competitive. When it comes to
    friendship, you find it hard to trust someone, but
    once you find the right friend, you trust them for
    ever.

    *PURPLE*

    You are mysterious, never selfish and get
    interested in things easily. Your day can be sad or
    happy depending on your mood. You are popular
    between friends but you can act stupid at times, and
    forget things easily. You go for person that's
    trustworthy.

    *LIME*

    You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get
    jealous easily, and complain over little things. You
    cant get stuck into one thing, but you have a
    capable personality for everyone to trust you and
    like you.

    *SILVER*

    You are imaginative and shy, but you like trying
    new things. You like to challenge yourself. You
    learn things easily, and like "Hard to get". Your
    love life are normally hard and confusing.

    *BLACK*

    You are challenging, and have the "guts". But you
    don't like changes in your life. And once you make a
    decision, you keep it that way for a long time. Your
    love life is also challenging, and different.

    *OLIVE*

    You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow
    well with friends and family. You don't like
    violence and know what's right. You are kind and
    cheerful, but don't envy other people easily.

    *BROWN*

    You are active and sportive. It's hard for other
    people to become close with you, but you fall in
    love easily. But once you find out you can't get
    something, you give up and let go easily as well.

    *BLUE*

    You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are
    artistic and like to fall in love, but you let your
    love pass by, by loving with your mind, not your
    heart.

    *NAVY*

    You are attractive, and love your life. You have a
    strong feeling towards everything. And very easily
    distracted.Once you get angry at someone, its hard
    for you to forgive them.

    *WHITE*

    You dream and have goals in your life. You get
    jealous easily and you don't react to things easily.
    You are different and sometimes thought highly by
    others.

    *AQUA*

    Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are
    always lonley, and like travelling. You are
    truthful, but listen and believe other people too
    easily. It's hard to find love for you, and get lost
    in love easily, Sometimes get hurt by love.
    Comments

    In the human species, Reason becomes seeded with
    the first breath of life on a specific date. The birthpath,
    calculated from the day, month, and year of birth,
    reveals the path in life for each person to walk and the
    lessons to be learned. The potential indicated
    by the birthpath consists of qualities to be developed
    through one's thinking and the resultant actions.

    To calculate your birthpath, add the month, the day,
    and year and reduce the number to a single digit between
    one and nine.

    December 12, 1975
    12 + 12 + 1975 = 1999
    1 + 9 + 9 + 9 = 28
    2 + 8 = 1 birthpath

    A person born December 12, 1975, is a 1 birthpath.
    Calculate your own birthpath using the method above.

    Whether one's birthpath expresses depends upon the
    name given, for the name creates one's personality and
    is the compelling force. The birthpath is only a potential
    until understood and expressed through mind.

    1 birthpath
    The 1 represents the quality of an awakening
    intellectual power seeking to understand the
    fundamental natural laws of life. The 1's are leaders and
    explorers and they are naturally inventive along practical
    lines. They learn through their own experiences. In work
    they must hold positions in which they can give orders
    instead of take them, and in which their independence is
    not curtailed. They are self-reliant and strong-willed--the
    qualities of a leader.

    2 birthpath
    The 2 is the peace maker and diplomat. Their lesson
    is to meet and mix with people, to understand their
    hearts and minds, and to help people in the solution of
    their problems. As the 2 is naturally impressionable to
    environment and association, they must learn to be
    individual and not unduly influenced by others. The 2's
    are extremely sensitive, understanding, and generous.
    Their lesson is to understand the points of view
    of others and to create harmony between people
    through that understanding.

    3 birthpath
    Self-statement is the 3's keynote. They excel in
    vocal statement, public speaking, art, drama, or as
    entertainers, humourists, and sales people. Their
    lesson is to use the power of the word to inspire and lift
    others to see a happier, objective perspective of life. The
    3's are congenial in association and cosmopolitan in nature.
    They have a love for all people and desire to help
    others.

    4 birthpath
    The 4 quality symbolizes a power in its technical
    and scientific statement; it brings into being a very
    systematic, technical, stable, patient, and scientifically
    analytical nature. The 4 seeks an understanding of life,
    delving into matter and form, searching for the secrets
    of nature in materiality. The keynote of the 4 is
    practicality; and their duty is to find a basic principle
    governing matter and form.

    5 birthpath
    The 5 quality represents change--a step above the
    technical phase. The 5's must seek a definite Spiritual
    Principle and apply it; thereby developing the intellect
    and seeking new ideas, new meanings, and theories, to
    bring improvement to life. The 5's tend to champion the
    less fortunate. They are quick thinkers, always searching
    for a reason for things. They seek the truth. As they
    love change, travel, and new experiences, they should not
    be placed in positions requiring detailed routine that is
    monotonous.

    6 birthpath
    The 6 symbolizes maturity and responsibility; it is the
    number of the mind and signifies growth to the point
    where mind begins to search within for the reason of
    being and realizes its responsibility to humankind.
    The 6's have the mental quickness and the analytical
    ability of the 5, but without the 5's restlessness and
    impulsiveness intensity. They desire to assume
    responsibilities for others. Their love is more
    universal, with an intense desire to serve. They carry
    responsibility better than any other quality.

    7 birthpath
    The 7 is the quality of the philosopher and writer.
    Their duty is to tune the mind to harmony and
    balance for receiving impressions from within; for this
    the mind must be placid and at peace. The 7's
    keynote is placidity. The 7's deeply appreciate
    the beauties of nature; they delight in mystery and
    are naturally drawn to philosophy and the occult.
    They should spend time in meditation and
    reflection, and write down their thoughts.

    8 birthpath
    The 8 symbolizes a power that comes to demonstrate
    the spiritual law in service to humanity. They are
    the born executives and national leaders, and should
    occupy positions where they can administer justice
    and equality for all and work to create a just and balanced
    economic system. The 8's should never be
    subservient to others. They seem to understand
    people and have the ability to direct others and to hold
    positions of great responsibility.

    9 birthpath
    The 9 includes all the other qualities within itself. They
    are born to serve others along the path of wisdom as
    spiritual leaders and teachers. They are very sensitive
    and inspirational. Their talents are many and varied,
    covering the inspirational vocations or in business where
    they have the opportunity to be of service to people in
    some way--in charitable institutions, hospitals, or in
    education or law. The 9's are charming, affectionate, and
    respond quickly to kindness. The path of the 9 is the
    highest and most inspirational, but it is the most
    difficult to live.
    Comments

    God : Hello. Did you call me?

    Me: Called you? No.. who is this?

    God : This is GOD. I heard your prayers. So I thought I will chat.

    Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy now. I am in the midst of something.

    God : What are you busy at? Ants are busy too.

    Me: Don't know. But I cant find free time. Life has become hectic. It's rush hour all the time.

    God : Sure. Activity gets you busy. But productivity gets you results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees it.

    Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I was not expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.

    God : Well I wanted to resolve your! fight for time, by giving you some clarity. In this net era, I wanted to reach you through the medium you are comfortable with.

    Me: Tell me, why has life become complicated now?

    God : Stop analyzing life. Just live it. Analysis is what makes it complicated.

    Me: why are we then constantly unhappy?

    God : Your today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday.You are worrying because you are analyzing. Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not happy.

    Me: But how can we not worry when there is so much uncertainty?

    God : Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.

    Me: But then, there is so much pain due to uncertainty..

    God : Pain is inevit! able, but suffering is optional.

    Me: If suffering is optional, why do good people always suffer?

    God : Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot be purified without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't suffer. With that experience their life become better not bitter.

    Me: You mean to say such experience is useful?

    God : Yes. In every terms, Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.

    Me: But still, why should we go through such tests? Why cant we be free from problems?

    God : Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering Beneficial Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength comes from struggle and endurance, not when you! are free from problems.

    Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't know where we are heading..

    God : If you look outside you will not know where you are heading.Look inside. Looking outside, you dream. Looking inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides insight.

    Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more than moving in the right direction. What should I do?

    God : Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction is a measure as decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more satisfying than knowing you rode ahead. You work with the compass. Let others work with the clock.

    Me: In tough times, how do you stay motivated?

    God : Always look at how far you have come rather than how far you have to go. Always count your blessing, not what you are missing.

    Me: What surprises you about people?

    God : when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they prosper, they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on their side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.

    Me: Sometimes I ask, who am I, why am I here. I cant get the answer.

    God : Seek not to find who you are, but to determine who you want to be. Stop looking for a purpose as to why you are here. Create it. Life is not a process of discovery but a process of creation.

    Me: How can I get the best out of life?

    God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.

    Me: One last question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are not answered.

    God : There are no unanswered prayers. At times the answer is NO.

    Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat.

    God : Well. Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a mystery to solve not a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is wonderful if you know how to live. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that took our breath away!


    Comments

    > > > This tantra totem has been sent to you for good
    > > > luck. It has been sent
    > > > around the world ten times so far. You will receive
    > > > good luck within
    > > > four days of relaying this tantra totem.
    > > >
    > > > Send copies to people you think need good luck.
    > > > Don't send money as fate
    > > > has no price.
    > > >
    > > > Do not keep this message. The tantra totem must
    > > > leave your hands in 96
    > > > hours. You will get a very pleasant surprise. This
    > > > is true, even if you
    > > > are not superstitious.
    > > >
    > > > ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it
    > > > cheerfully.
    > > >
    > > > TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you
    > > > get older, their
    > > > conversational skills will be as important as any
    > > > other.
    > > >
    > > > THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you
    > > > have or sleep all you
    > > > want.
    > > >
    > > > FOUR. When you say, "I love you", mean it.
    > > >
    > > > FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in
    > > > the eye.
    > > >
    > > > SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get
    > > > married.
    > > >
    > > > SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.!
    > > >
    > > > EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who
    > > > don't have dreams
    > > > don't have much.
    > > >
    > > > NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get
    > > > hurt but it's the only
    > > > way to live life completely.
    > > >
    > > > TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name
    > > > calling.
    > > >
    > > > ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
    > > >
    > > > TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
    > > >
    > > > THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't
    > > > want to answer,
    > > > smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
    > > >
    > > > FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great
    > > > achievements involve great
    > > > risk.
    > > >
    > > > FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone
    > > > sneeze.
    > > >
    > > > SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
    > > >
    > > > SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self;
    > > > Respect for others;
    > > > Responsibility for all your actions.
    > > >
    > > > EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great
    > > > friendship.
    > > >
    > > > NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake,
    > > > take immediate steps
    > > > to correct it.
    > > >
    > > > TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller
    > > > will hear it in your
    > > > voice.
    > > >
    > > > TWENTY ONE. Spend some time alone.
    > > >
    > > > Now, here's the FUN part!
    > > >
    > > > Send this to at least 5 people and your life will
    > > > improve.
    > > >
    > > > 0-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
    > > >
    > > > 5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
    > > >
    > > > 9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in
    > > > the next 3 weeks
    > > >
    > > > 15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and
    > > > everything you ever
    > > > dreamed of will begin to take shape.

    Comments

    HINESE HOROSCOPES

    RAT
    1900Jan.31 - 1901Feb.18
    1912Feb.18 - 1913Feb.05
    1924Feb.05 - 1925Jan.24
    1936Jan.24 - 1937Feb.10
    1948Feb.10 - 1949Jan.28
    1960Jan.28 - 1961Feb.14
    1972Feb.15 - 1973Feb.02
    1984Feb.02 - 1985Feb.19
    1996Feb.19 - 1997Feb.07

    OX
    1901Feb.19 - 1902Feb.07
    1913Feb.06 - 1914Jan.25
    1925Jan.25 - 1926Feb.12
    1937Feb.11 - 1938Jan.30
    1949Jan.29 - 1950Feb.16
    1961Feb.15 - 1962Feb.04
    1973Feb.03 - 1974Jan.22
    1985Feb.20 - 1986Feb.08
    1997Feb.08 - 1998Jan.27


    TIGER
    1902Feb.08 - 1903Jan.28
    1914Jan.26 - 1915Feb.13
    1926Feb.13 - 1927Feb.01
    1938Jan.31 - 1939Feb.18
    1950Feb.17 - 1951Feb.05
    1962Feb.05 - 1963Jan.24
    1974Jan.23 - 1975Feb.10
    1986Feb.09 - 1987Jan.28
    1998Jan.28 - 1999Feb.05


    RABBIT
    1903Jan.29 - 1904Feb.15
    1915Feb.14 - 1916Feb.02
    1927Feb.02 - 1928Jan.22
    1939Feb.19 - 1940Feb.07
    1951Feb.06 - 1952Jan.26
    1963Jan.25 - 1964Feb.12
    1975Feb.11 - 1976Jan.30
    1987Jan.29 - 1988Feb.16
    1999Feb.06 - 2000Feb.04

    DRAGON
    1904Feb.16 - 1905Feb.03
    1916Feb.03 - 1917Jan.22
    1928Jan.23 - 1929Feb.09
    1940Feb.08 - 1941Jan.26
    1952Jan.27 - 1953Feb.13
    1964Feb.13 - 1965Feb.01
    1976Jan.31 - 1977Feb.17
    1988Feb.17 - 1989Feb.05
    2000Feb.05 - 2001Jan.23

    SNAKE
    1905Feb.04 - 1906Jan.24
    1917Jan.23 - 1918Feb.10
    1929Feb.10 - 1930Jan.29
    1941Jan.27 - 1942Feb.14
    1953Feb.14 - 1954Feb.02
    1965Feb.02 - 1966Jan.20
    1977Feb.18 - 1978Feb.06
    1989Feb.06 - 1990Jan.26
    2001Jan.24 - 2002Feb.11

    HORSE
    1906Jan.25 - 1907Feb.12
    1918Feb.11 - 1919Jan.31
    1930Jan.30 - 1931Jan.16
    1942Feb.15 - 1943Feb.04
    1954Feb.03 - 1955Jan.23
    1966Jan.21 - 1967Feb.08
    1978Feb.07 - 1979Jan.27
    1990Jan.27 - 1991Feb.14
    2002Feb.12 - 2003Jan.31


    GOAT
    1907Feb.13 - 1908Feb.01
    1919Feb.01 - 1920Feb.19
    1931Feb.17 - 1932Feb.05
    1943Feb.05 - 1944Jan.24
    1955Jan.24 - 1956Feb.11
    1967Feb.09 - 1968Jan.29
    1979Jan.28 - 1980Feb.15
    1991Feb.15 - 1992Feb.03
    2003Feb.01 - 2004Jan.21


    MONKEY
    1908Feb.02 - 1909Jan.21
    1920Feb.20 - 1921Feb.07
    1932Feb.06 - 1933Jan.25
    1944Jan.25 - 1945Feb.12
    1956Feb.12 - 1957Jan.30
    1968Jan.30 - 1969Feb.16
    1980Feb.16 - 1981Feb.04
    1992Feb.04 - 1993Jan.22
    2004Jan.22 - 2005Feb.08


    ROOSTER
    1909Jan.22 - 1910Feb.18
    1921Feb.08 - 1922Jan.27
    1933Jan.26 - 1934Feb.13
    1945Feb.13 - 1946Feb.01
    1957Jan.31 - 1958Feb.17
    1969Feb.17 - 1970Feb.05
    1981Feb.05 - 1982Jan.24
    1993Jan.23 - 1994Feb.09
    2005Feb.09 - 2006Jan.28


    DOG
    1910Feb.10 - 1911Jan.29
    1922Jan.28 - 1923Feb.15
    1934Feb.14 - 1935Feb.03
    1946Feb.02 - 1947Jan.21
    1958Feb.18 - 1959Feb.07
    1970Feb.06 - 1971Jan.26
    1982Jan.25 - 1983Feb.12
    1994Feb.10 - 1995Jan.30
    2006Jan.29 - 2007Feb.17


    PIG
    1911Jan.30 - 1912Feb.17
    1923Feb.16 - 1924Feb.04
    1935Feb.04 - 1936Jan.23
    1947Jan.22 - 1948Feb.09
    1959Feb.08 - 1960Jan.27
    1971Jan.27 - 1972Feb.14
    1983Feb.13 - 1984Feb.01
    1995Jan.31 - 1996Feb.18
    2007Feb.18 - 2008Feb.08
    ============================================================================
    Rat in Year 2002
    This will be a so-so year for you Rat people. It maybe better stay low
    and keep things the way it is. I know this does not sound that exciting,
    but the truth is, it is not so bad to keep things the way it is, isn't
    it? In the year of Horse, patience and caution should be your motto,
    think once, twice and even three times before you act.
    Meanwhile, watch out for those so-called friends, one might betray you
    and take away what should have been yours. However, for those lack of
    Fire element, the year of Horse will be a smooth and lucky year. The
    Chinese believe that the Horse is born to race and travel, therefore,
    for those who are away from home; this will be a good year for you too.
    Since silence isn't Rat people's strongest suit, think, before you
    speak, cause impulsive words can be as dangerous as knife and might
    cause you troubles. In matter of personal finance, hold onto you money
    in the bank the best you can, cause you have the potential to lose money
    this year. Therefore, invest wisely and cautiously, sometimes, what
    looks like a great investment opportunity can possibly turn into a deep
    money pit.
    January is the month for travel and changes, but avoid going to funerals
    and visiting patients at the hospital if you can. March is the month for
    romance and partnership. For Rat men, May is the month to watch out,
    stay way from temptation and seduction from the opposite sex, and look
    out for eye injury. Drive carefully in September. December will be your
    lucky month for romance and money.

    RAT Characteristics

    Rat people are born under the sign of charm and aggressiveness. They are
    expressive and can be talkative sometimes. They like to go to parties and
    spend quite sometimes chatting with their friends. Although the Rat can be
    quiet sometime, it is rare to catch a Rat sitting quietly.
    Rat people usually have more acquaintances than real friends and they
    revere and cherish those close to them. Once you become their real
    friends, they will treat you as their family. Rats are self-contained and
    keep problems to themselves. And even though they can be talkative
    sometimes, they never confide in anyone.

    Sometimes mean, narrow-minded and suburban in outlook, Rat people are
    nevertheless honest. They can always make a success of their lives as long
    as they manage to master their perpetual discontent and their insistence
    on living for the present moment.

    The Rat is quick-witted. Most rats get more accomplished in 24 hours than
    the rest of us do in as many days. They are confident and usually have
    good instinct. Stubborn as they are, they prefer to live by their own
    rules rather others. It won't be an easy task to work with Rat people,
    why? Simple, because they are also 100% perfectionists.

    They are very organized and talented, perhaps that is why the Rat makes a
    good businessman or politician. Unfortunately, as soon as the Rat earns
    money, he spends it. Maybe that explains why the Rat is so careful when he
    lends money to others. If you ever borrow money from the Rat, don't be
    surprised by the high-interests.
    The Rat is not romantic, but he is sensual and loving. Rat people could be
    hard to see through at first glance, because they are also very
    protective, but even though they are not easy but they are worth it - ask
    anyone who has a Rat for a lover, parent, child or friend. They are very
    loyal and devoting to their families.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat81 - A very good match.
    Ox88 - A stable and peaceful relationship.
    Tiger70 - In order to success, both must endure.
    Rabbit47 - Not advised, they should stay away from each other.
    Dragon95 - One of the best-arranged unions.
    Snake67 - Better be friends than lovers.
    Horse29 - No, no, no.
    Goat56 - Probably not.
    Monkey90 - It'll be a fun and loving relationship.
    Rooster66 - Steamy, yes, but not lasting.
    Dog72 - Why not?
    Pig81 - This can work. They admire each other.

    ============================================================================

    OX In Year 2002
    This year will be singing the tune for you hard-working diligent Oxens.
    Things will be going your way, so if you grasp the opportunity when you
    see one and work hard, you will have your own business or the career
    you've been dreaming of for years.
    Although the year of Horse will be a good year in general, health maybe
    a concern for you. Cut down your alcohol and be kind to your own body.
    Avoid overwork, take plenty of rest and try to eat healthily and
    exercise regularly.
    And if you plan to invest, invest cautiously and wisely, and do not
    listen to any so-called "inside tips" from your acquaintances, trust
    your instinct mainly and avoid risky investment. Also, watch carefully
    with your stuffs and beware of theft when you are in a crowd.
    Some great news will cheer you up in January. Don't listen to rumors and
    false information in March. If you are in a stable relationship, wedding
    bell is heading your way in April. If you are waiting for the right one
    to show up, go to parties and social events in July and keep your eyes
    wide opened for your destiny. Watch out when you drive in August and
    October will be a month of changes.

    OX Charateristics

    Ox people are hard-working and persistent, they can stick at a task longer
    and go at it harder than anybody. They believe in themselves and tend to
    classify almost everything into two basic categories, bad and good. They
    hold up their high standards as a model and severely judge those who don't
    aspire to maintain these same ideals.
    Ox people are not social or party animals, they tend to be quiet when in a
    party. Although appears to be tranquil, in fact, Oxens are ponderous but
    impulsive when angry. They are capable of fearsome rages, therefore, it is
    better not to cross an Oxen.


    Ox people are observant, they have remarkable memories and are good at
    reporting on absolutely everything they observe. Go ask an Oxen if he
    remembers who were at the party 8 months ago, most likely, he will name
    them one by one to you.
    In the home, the Ox is a great guy to have around. In business, the OX can
    succeed in the arts, a contracting business, or an estate., thanks to
    their creative nature. And since an Ox is intelligent and good at his
    hands, he can be a good surgeon as well.

    Ox people are stubborn and dogmatic, they believe in their decision and
    will never regret. They are also very close to their families.
    disappointedly, Oxens often find that those who are close to them fail to
    understand them. Nevertheless, they are patient, and caring and that makes
    the Oxen the best friend you can ever have.
    Oxens are very responsible and loyal. Ox people are seldom jealous. but
    they will be jealous of their rights; and the fidelity of a husband or a
    wife is one of their rights. They are very family-oriented, conservative
    and faithful.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat88 - A stable and steady relationship
    Ox72 - Conservative! Mutually protect & provide
    Tiger33 - Almost impossible to make it work.
    Rabbit72 - This could work.
    Dragon52 - Don't, two of you will fight constantly.
    Snake85 - This union can be a good one.
    Horse37 - Unfortunately, they are part.
    Goat56 - Probably not.
    Monkey81 - Nice. They are compatible and stable.
    Rooster86 - You are lucky enough to find each other.
    Dog62 - Difficult, but possible.
    Pig69 - why not, it worths a try.

    ============================================================================

    TIGER In Year 2002

    The year of Horse will be a good year in general. Luck is on your side;
    especially on that lack of Fire element, so go get some lottery tickets,
    and you might get lucky. ^_^ However, don't pack your bags and retire to
    Hawaii yet, cause if you work hard enough, this will be a good year for
    your career and finance as well.
    After years of hardworking, you social status and reputation will be on
    the rise, and for those ambitious Tigers, you might just get the
    opportunity to move to the power circle on the top, or being transferred
    to the headquarter in a foreign country.
    However, be cautious in many ways. Pay more attention to your so-called
    friends, there are some calculated minds that will try to tempt you with
    traps. Think once, twice and even three times before you act, and
    remember to mind your own business, cause one of your friends may bring
    troubles or even lawsuits to your way.
    Health alert in January and watch out for betrayal from friends, you'd
    be surprised how quickly they forgot your kindness and friendship and
    turn their backs on you. Romance is in the air in February. It is better
    to refrain yourself from visiting the sick or attending funerals in
    March. You will get some help from your mother's side of the family in
    June. And watch the road when you drive and beware of cut injury in
    September. Your best months are February, July, September and December.

    TIGER Characteristics

    "Born leader" is the key word for the Tigers. They are always in the lead
    and are most likely the ones to cry out "Let's Go"! Noble and Fearless,
    Tigers are respected for their courage, even from those working against
    them.
    Tiger people are daring fighters, they are capable of standing up to the
    better end for what they think is right. Although they could be selfish
    from time to time in the little things, they are capable of great
    generosity. Tigers are unpredictable, always tense. and like to be in a
    hurry.

    Tiger people are difficult to resist, for they are magnetic characters and
    their natural air of authority confers a certain prestige on them. They
    are tempestuous yet calm, warm-hearted yet fearsome, courageous in the
    face of danger yet yielding and soft in mysterious, unexpected places.

    Tigers are very confident, perhaps too confident sometimes. Although they
    love adventures, and are addicted to excitement it is better not to
    challenge a Tiger's confidence. They likes being obeyed and not the other
    way around.

    Because Tigers are urgent people and always in a hurry to get things done
    right, they usually choose to operate alone. Tigers like to work, they are
    hard-working and dynamic. If you assign a task to a Tiger, the job will be
    undertaken and accomplished with enthusiasm and efficiency. Tigers make
    money, but they are not directly interested in money. Still, the Tiger
    needs not worry about money: just when he fears the money is gone, more
    seems to show up.
    Tigers are sensitive, emotional. They are capable of great love, but they
    become too intense about it. They are also territorial and possessive, if
    you are a friend of a Tiger, he wants you to take his side against the bad
    guys and because the Tiger is so adorable, you often do. As lovers, Tigers
    are passionate and romantic, but the real challenge for the Tiger is to
    grasp the true meaning of moderation.


    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    Rat65 - In order to success, both must endure.
    Ox33 - Almost impossible to make it work.
    Tiger52 - Two tigers?! Not recommended.
    Rabbit46 - Difficult. Possible convenience marriage
    Dragon76 - Despite minor difficulties, it's good for marriage.
    Snake69 - Difficult to see what they could see in each other.
    Horse86 - Why not, they have lots in commons.
    Goat24 - One of the worst combinations.
    Monkey81 - These two make eager loves.
    Rooster55 - Not a balanced relationship.
    Dog89 - Good! A balanced and harmonic relationship.
    Pig79 - They are very different, but this will work.

    ============================================================================

    RABBIT In Year 2002

    This will be a great year for female Rabbit but a so-so year for Rabbit
    Men. In general, there will be something to celebrate in the family,
    such as weddings or victories. And although there are some challenges
    and problems occasionally, luckily, you will always find someone to help
    you out.
    For those lack of Fire elements, expect a smooth ride all year long. As
    for Water Rabbit, this will be a good year for your business and
    investment, so get ready to smile your way to the bank and watch the
    balance increases. Nevertheless, this won't be a carefree year. Choose
    your friends with caution and try to cut off the tie between you and
    that old love that never learns to let you go. Stay away from alcohol
    and temptations, you'll be happy that you do.
    January is the month to be cautious. Watch out for quarrels and try to
    mind your own business. February will be a good month for your finance
    and business. Although changes are waiting for you in April, it might be
    better to stay put and wait for the next opportunity. Stay alert in
    October, and go to weddings if you can to bring you good luck. Your best
    months are June, September and November.

    RABBIT Characteristics

    The rabbit is one of the most delicate animals among all 12 animals.
    Rabbits are usually kind and sweet and of course, popular people. Nobody
    ignores them, for they are good company and know how to make the best of
    themselves.
    A rabbit's home is always a beautiful one cause Rabbit people are famous
    for their artistic sense and good taste. They are also usually
    well-dressed. Go check out your Rabbit friend's closet, I bet you will
    find many expensive and beautiful clothing there.

    But even though they are popular and loved by their friends and family,
    rabbit people are also pessimistic. They are conservative and insecure,
    and that explains why most of the them don't like changes.

    Calm as they are, it is not easy to provoke Rabbit people. They don't like
    to argue and enjoy quiet, peaceful lives. They are also sentimental and
    compassionate. Yes, and they cry easily too. They can be moved by personal
    problems you share with them. Therefore, if you work as a salesman for a
    living, you will have much better luck with rabbit people - Nine out of
    Ten Rabbit people will definitely buy your products!

    Call them cautious or call them timid, rabbit people will undertake
    nothing before they have weighed the pros and cons from every angle. And
    that is probably why rabbit people are doing well in their work. And yet,
    unless they abandon their conservative nature, and become more aggressive,
    they will probably live a very normal, and average life.
    They can be great partners in relationships. Romantic and sweet, faithful
    too, rabbit people never lack of suitors. . Male rabbits are sometimes
    picky, and perhaps not a family man. And female rabbits should probably
    spend less time admiring themselves in front of the mirror and spend more
    time with friends.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat32 - Not compatible.
    Ox67 - This could work.
    Tiger46 - Difficult. Possible convenience marriage
    Rabbit71 - Why not? As long as they have loads of $$$.
    Dragon85 - Good team.
    Snake61 - Think again.
    Horse52 - Why not just be friends?
    Goat82 - Nice couple.
    Monkey73 - Amusing.
    Rooster55 - Well, maybe not.
    Dog77 - Fine, as long as they keep it cool.
    Pig91 - Good, very good and everything will be fine.

    ============================================================================

    DRAGON In Year 2002

    It might be better to keep a low profile this year. Things might not be
    going the ways as you wish and your life might be busier and more
    chaotic than you expect. You must refrain yourself from visiting the
    sick or attending funerals. What you need most this year is good vibes
    from happy occasions.
    Therefore, be sure to attend as many weddings as you can. Best of all,
    if you have weddings in the family, it will certainly bring you joys and
    good fortune all year long and turn this year to a better year for you.
    But don't worry, even if you don't have weddings in the family, just do
    some charity or volunteer works to help the needed will bring you good
    luck too.
    Also, though there are some obstacles waiting for you to overcome, with
    your born luck and charm, whenever a problem surfaces, someone will show
    up to assist you and resolve the issue for you.
    January is the month for changes. You will be either traveling to
    foreign countries or moving to a new home. Pay more attention on the
    road in March and be careful when choosing your new friends. Avoid
    visiting the sick or attending funerals in May. August will be a good
    month for lovers. Your best months are January, August, October and
    November.

    DRAGON Characteristics

    As the noble animal symbol that represents the Chinese emperors, Dragons
    are born leaders and masters of ceremonies. And because of this, every
    Chinese parent is hoping to have a Dragon child. Dragon people get things
    started and keep them moving. They are feisty and gifted with power and
    luck. Most people look up to the Dragon.
    Dragons are born monarchs. As far as they can see, their power is
    indisputable. Dragons are idealists, perfectionists, they are born
    thinking they are perfect and they are inflexible. Dragons are also
    aggressive and determined, going after what they want is second nature to
    them. And due to their hunger for power, Dragons are not well suited to
    growing old. The prospect of losing power, the helpless feeling of
    youthful strength ebbing away is unbearable to them.

    Irritable and stubborn, the Dragon is a real big mouth and his words often
    outrun his thoughts. Nevertheless, his opinions are worth listening to and
    his advice is always good. People do, in fact, listen to him and his
    influence is considerable. The Dragon is over-proud. He is enthusiastic to
    the point of impetuosity, and he loses his temper easily.

    Dragons are dauntless, dynamic and delightful. When a Dragon enters a
    gathering, the room starts to simmer. The Dragon carries a self-assurance
    so impressive, and inflated ego so visible and a mouth so loud that it is
    useless to try to tell him anything.
    Dragons are tyrannical. They hate orders except when they are giving them.
    Unlike the Tiger, who imposes his will seriously and firmly, the Ox, whose
    authority is implied in his very stern demeanor, or the Rat, who thrusts
    his dominion over others, the Dragon knows innately how to exert authority
    yet be gentle with his slaves. Dragons are terrible snobs. Although money
    is not always the object, they are slavishly impressed by wealth,
    prestige, rank and splendor.

    The Dragon is gifted, intelligent, tenacious, willing and generous. He can
    do anything. No matter whether the Dragon chooses an artistic career,
    medical or political one, he is going to shine in it. He will be a success
    wherever he goes.
    The Dragon is often loved. He is never disappointed in love. In fact, he
    is frequently the cause of some drama of despair. The women of this sign
    are surrounded by admirers and often demanded in marriage.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat95 - One of the best-arranged unions.
    Ox48 - Don't, two of you will fight constantly.
    Tiger76 - Despite minor difficulties, it's good for marriage.
    Rabbit85 - Good team.
    Dragon34 - They'll always compete against each other.
    Snake63 - This might work.
    Horse57 - Love at first sight, but will go downhill.
    Goat74 - A sound and stable relationship.
    Monkey82 - Despite the differences, they'll do just fine.
    Rooster72 - Balanced but not passionate.
    Dog55 - With reservation. The dog might suffer.
    Pig87 - An excellent match.


    ============================================================================

    SNAKE In Year 2002

    For Snake People, year 2002, the year of Horse will be a better year for
    you than last year. You will feel better about yourself and more
    energetic this year. The Sun is on your sign this year. Finance and
    romance are both looking good, and career is on the rise as well.
    For those lack of Fire element, keep smiling, cause this will be
    especially a great year for you. Be prepared for a year of smooth ride.
    If you are in a relationship, get ready to say "I do" and yes, you are
    going to the chapel soon. If you are happily single, make sure to look
    your best all the time and go to parties and social events whenever you
    can; you will meet that "special one" soon.
    January will be a lucky month for you business. Money will be slowing
    in. Stay alert and be cautious in February, this will keep you away from
    unnecessary problems. March is a great month for you, and is it wedding
    bell that I hear? If you are restless driver, watch out when you are on
    the road in April. Also stay alert when using a knife and with possible
    betrayal from friends. May is good for your romance. If you have been
    planning to expand your business or start a partnership, August might be
    a good tie to do so. Your best months are March, May, August and
    November.

    SNAKE Characteristics

    Snakes have always been the seducers of human beings. If you know the
    story of "The White Snake", you will understand what I mean. In reality,
    Snake people are born charming and popular. Snakes are spotlight magnets,
    and they will not be ignored. Peer group attention and public recognition
    are the least of what he expects. Yet Snakes are never noisy or
    deliberately outspoken, and they have have excellent manners.
    Unlike the Snake who seduced Eve in to sin. the astrological Snake, is not
    a devil, not even a little demon. The Snake is a nice oversexed normal
    human being. Determined to follow through anything he undertakes to the
    bitter end, the Snake detests being left in the air. He makes his
    decisions quickly and firmly.

    Most people are secretly or hopelessly in love with Snakes. Gather those
    frustrated folk you know and most likely, they are probably in love with a
    Snake. Irresistible as they seem, the Snake never wastes time in idle
    gossip. He thinks often and deeply. He is an intellectual, a philosophers,
    a cerebral person. Snake people rely heavily on first impressions, on
    their own feelings, on their sympathies, rather than on facts, on the
    advice and opinions on others. He seems to have a kind of sixth sense in
    this way.

    Snakes are a bit tight when it comes to lending money, though his sympathy
    for others often leads him to offer help. The fatal flaw in his character
    is, in fact, a tendency to exaggerate - in helping friends as with
    everything else. If he does somebody a favor, he becomes possessive
    towards them in an odd way.
    Another big flaw in a Snake's character is that, they are capable of
    biggie lies. White lies, true lies, whatever they call them, though they
    don't lie often, they do lie when they feel they can get away from it.

    In money matters, the Snake has good luck: he doesn't have to worry -
    he'll always be able to lay his hand on money when he needs it. Generally,
    Snakes are careful but generous with friends and family. The Snake should
    stick to careers that won't involve him in any risk - even the risk of
    working too hard, for to tell the truth, the Snake is a bit lazy.
    In love, the Snake male is romantic and charming. He has a sense of humor
    and the female is usually beautiful and successful. but if a Snake chooses
    a partner, he'll be jealous and possessive - even if he no longer loves
    her. Rejection is the worst blow his delicate ego can suffer. The Snake
    must be received, welcomed, accepted and approved by those with whom he
    comes in contact. They need a lot of security.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat67 - Better be friends than lovers.
    Ox85 - This union can be a good one.
    Tiger67 - Difficult to see what they could see in each other.
    Rabbit61 - Think again.
    Dragon63 - This might work.
    Snake51 - Complicated drama, better avoid.
    Horse75 - These two are strongly attracted to each other.
    Goat69 - This might work.
    Monkey57 - Perhaps, it depends on the monkey.
    Rooster90 - A love connection, Omens favorable.
    Dog67 - This could work.
    Pig45 - The Pig can never please the Snake.

    ============================================================================

    HORSE In Year 2002

    I know you waited 12 years to be your own year - the year of Horse,
    however, I will suggest you to keep a low profile this year, and perhaps
    keeping things the way it is will be a smart move. Try to eat healthily
    and exercise regularly, this is the year you should pay more attention
    to you and your family's health.
    Finance will be moderate this year, and it is wise to research extensive
    before you invest or expand your business. And don't forget to look out
    when you are making new friends. Sometimes it is better to have few good
    friends than a bunch of acquaintance - you never know which one will
    betray you or stab you in the back.
    Watch out to those so-called friends in January. It is also a good year
    for partnerships and romance. Better yet, the romantic mood will be
    carried over to February, and may even bring wedding bells to your door.
    Be careful when you are on the road in March. Try to go to weddings, as
    this may bring you good vibes and get rid of your bad luck. There may be
    changes or travels waiting for you in July, you will be exhausted, so
    it's better avoid visiting patients and attending funerals. You will
    start a new relationship in August. Your best months are February, June,
    August and October.

    HORSE Characteristics

    Horse people are active and energetic. They got plenty of sex-appeal and
    know how to dress. Horses love to be in the crowd, maybe that is why they
    can usually be seen in such occasions like concerts, theaters, meetings,
    sporting occasions, and of course, parties.
    The horse is very quick-witted and is right in there with you before you
    have had the chance to finish what you are saying: he's on to the thought
    in your mind even before you've expressed it. In general, the Horse is
    gifted. But in truth he is really more cunning than intelligent - and he
    knows that. That is probably why, most of the horse people lack
    confidence.

    Chinese believe that because horses are born to race or travel, all Horse
    people invariably leave home young. The Horse despises being pressured to
    act for the good of the group or made to feel guilty. No matter how
    integrated he seems to be, a Horse's inner self remains powerfully
    rebellious. Although they have boundless energy and ambition, Horses have
    a hard time belonging.

    The Horse is hot-blooded, hot-headed and impatient. He is a bit of an
    egoist, well, selfish sometimes, that it is rare for him to interest
    himself in any problems except his own. And though this egoist works only
    for himself and for his own success, his work nevertheless benefits
    everybody.

    The Horse is a worker, adepts at handling money and a good financier. But
    unfortunately, he is also famous for suddenly losing interest on
    something. In his relationship with opposite sex, the Horse is weak. He
    will give up everything for love.
    Being born a Horse, there are many contradictions in his character. Horses
    are proud yet sweet-natured, arrogant yet oddly modest in their approach
    to love, envious but tolerant, conceited yet humble. They want to belong,
    yet they are burdened by their need for independence. They need love and
    crave intimacy yet often feel cornered, pressured. But the truth is, the
    Horse is an individual, who depends only on his wits and his labor to get
    what he wants.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat29 - No, no, no.
    Ox37 - Unfortunately, they will part.
    Tiger86 - Good, they have lots in common.
    Rabbit52 - Why not just be friends?
    Dragon63 - Steamy, but will not last.
    Snake78 - These two are strongly attracted to each other.
    Horse70 - Better hide your egoism.
    Goat82 - Good, they won't bore each other.
    Monkey31 - Not advised.
    Rooster58 - If they must, but not recommended.
    Dog92 - A happy couple.
    Pig75 - This relationship worth a try.



    ============================================================================

    GOAT In Year 2002

    For the gentle GOAT, this will be a good year in general. Luck will be
    on your side; however, there will be a number of obstacles to overcome.
    For those lacks of Earth element, everything will be going your way. And
    for those Wood GOAT, your investment or business may finally paid off
    and you will be smiling your way to the bank.
    This could be the year to expand your business or start the partnership
    and alliance you've been planning for. Nevertheless, try to eat
    healthily and exercise regularly, this is the year you should pay more
    attention to your health. Say no to alcohol and temptation, trust me,
    you will be happy that you do. Think once, twice and even three time
    before you act and remember to mind your own business and stay away from
    other's problems.
    January is your lucky month, with minimum effort; you will be rewarded
    with doubled harvest. February is a great month for you finance.
    However, if you are a restless driver, be careful when you are on the
    road. And thanks to the blessing from your ancestor, March will turn out
    to be a smooth month. July is great for romance and wedding. Avoid
    attending funerals and visiting patients in August. Your best months are
    January, March, May, and July,

    GOAT Characteristics

    Goat people are elegant, charming, artistic, gifted and fond of nature.
    People born under this sign are also the most creative. They are also very
    delicate, their good manners and charms always bring many admirers and
    friends.
    Goats are insecure. They need to feel loved and protected. They are easily
    drawn into complex predicaments. This being, so, they usually shy from
    confrontation, pull back when faced with heavy decision-making and
    blatantly refuse to take an unpopular stand in a conflict.

    Goat people are dreamers, sometimes, they are pessimistic, hesitant and
    over-anxious worriers! They can be lazy sometimes. If Goats have any
    choices, they would definitely choose to marry a wealthy person and sit
    back for the rest of the lives. Also, they are obsessed with their
    appearance. That, play an enormous part in their sense of personal
    stability. If they don't look their best, they may be afraid to go out the
    door to pick up the Sunday papers.

    Due to their indecisive nature, Goats like to study the esoteric to know
    more about the unknown. They enjoy reading books about horoscope and
    fortune-telling. Therefore, it will not be unusual to find Goats working
    as astrologers or fortune-tellers.

    Disorganized as they are , business is definitely not the strength in a
    Goat. Instead, the Goat will make a good craftsman or artist or writer and
    can confidently take up any career demanding artistic talents and
    creativities.
    Goat people are very romantic sensitive, sweet and darling. In
    relationship, they could be sometimes a little bit bossy and lazy, but
    with their gentle and caring nature, it will be hard to resist Goat
    people.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat56 - Probably not.
    Ox45 - Why not just be friends.
    Tiger24 - One of the worst combinations.
    Rabbit82 - Nice couple. They'll be happy.
    Dragon74 - A sound and stable relationship.
    Snake69 - This might work.
    Horse82 - Good, they won't bore each other.
    Goat52 - Better avoid.
    Monkey71 - Oh, well, why not?!
    Rooster42 - They'll be unhappy, even they pretend.
    Dog62 - Difficult, but possible.
    Pig98 - One of the happiest possible combinations.

    ============================================================================

    MONKEY In Year 2002

    I know this does not sound that exciting, but the truth is, this will be
    a so-so year for you Monkey people. It maybe better to stay low and keep
    things the way it is. Also, you must refrain yourself from visiting the
    sick or attending funerals. Instead, be sure to attend as many weddings
    as you can. After all, what you need most in the year of Horse is good
    vibes and chi.
    Best of all, if you have weddings in the family, it will certainly bring
    you joys and good fortune all year long and turn this to a better year
    for you. However, even if you don't have weddings in the family, you can
    collect your good fortune by attending weddings and volunteer yourself
    for charity work to help the needed.
    For those lacks of Fire element, everything will be going your way. And
    if you a Water Monkey, embrace yourself to a year of great personal
    finance. Your income will increase and your investment will be
    rewarding. Wood Monkey will become wiser and gain more knowledge through
    the year. As for Metal Monkey, beware of friends who will betray you and
    stab you in the back.
    January is a good month in general, expect some moderate changes in life
    and work. Watch your eyes in February. March will be especially great
    for the Earth Monkey. There will be reasons to celebrate in June,
    however, don't overwork and watch for your health. Avoid attending
    funerals and don't go visit the sick. Romance is in the air in August,
    and if you listen to the advice from your boss or parents, things will
    be even better for you. Your best months are January, March, August and
    December.

    MONKEY Characteristics

    Monkeys are fun and loving persons who are always cheerful and energetic.
    They are very clever. Give a monkey a boring book to read and he'll turn
    it into a Musical. Better yet, he'll invite everyone to see it free!
    That's how talented, creative and generous monkeys usually are.

    If you go to a party, you'll find Monkeys at the center of attention.
    Their charm and humor is the key to their popularity. Sociable and
    diplomatic as they may appear, they can be deceptive sometimes - they hide
    their opinions of others beneath their friendliness. But they don't hide
    their emotion. You can probably tell how a monkey is feeling from miles
    away - he wants everyone to know how happy or depressed he is.

    Monkey people are very good at problem-solving. Wherever you are, whoever
    you may be, if you've got a problem pick up the phone and dial-a-Monkey.
    Monkeys know how to listen closely and work out solutions at the same
    time. And because Monkeys' curiosity, they usually have a great thirst for
    knowledge. Still they have few scruples - they could be unreasonable
    sometimes, and they have the ability to persuade themselves and everyone
    around them to believe that they are doing the right things. Some say
    monkeys are self-centered, some say they are opportunistic, some say they
    are guileful, but monkeys couldn't care less - because they are also
    indifferent.

    The monkey has a good chance of becoming famous or well-known. Whatever he
    does, his charm and luck will make him successful. As friends, Monkeys are
    both loyal and devoted, as lovers, they can be passionate and yet flighty
    - they can fall easily in love but will get tired of the relationship and
    look for another.
    Most Monkeys have one fetish - FOOD. They are not pigs, they don't stuff
    themselves with food, instead, they just have this habit of eating snacks
    whenever they like, and wherever they like. And one last truth about
    monkey people is, they adore bananas. Go visit your monkey friend's
    kitchen, I bet you will find some bananas there.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat90 - One of the best combinations.
    Ox74 - Nice. They are compatible and stable.
    Tiger81 - These two make eager loves.
    Rabbit73 - Amusing.
    Dragon82 - Despite the differences, they'll do just fine.
    Snake57 - Perhaps, it depends on the monkey.
    Horse31 - Not advised.
    Goat65 - Oh well, why not?!
    Monkey85 - Great companions and total complicity.
    Rooster72 - Probably, who knows
    Dog67 - With reservation. The dog might suffer.
    Pig81 - This could work. They admire each other.

    ============================================================================

    ROOSTER In Year 2002

    Congratulations. Now, take a deep sigh (the sigh of relief) and prepare
    yourself for a great year. Thanks to all the good luck you get from your
    ancestors, you should have a much better and smoother year of Horse than
    last year. Happy, joyful things are coming your way, and everything will
    be exactly the way you want. This will be the year for your career to
    take off. New career will be waving at you, and if you have a cool boss
    that you get along, then expect a promotion or a raise.
    As for you romance life; the year of Horse is the year you've been
    waiting for. New romance is in the air and even old love may return to
    your eventually. Believe or not, this might be "the one" relationship
    you've been longing for and if you are in a stable relationship, wedding
    bell might be ringing at your doorsteps.
    You might lose some money in January, nothing major, so don't worry too
    much about it. This month, you will get all the assistance you need from
    your mother side of the family. March is a good month for you, so hold
    on to an opportunity when you see one, and you will accomplish
    something. If you are a restless driver, please pay more attention on
    the road in April. Thinking about moving or traveling? October is the
    month to do so. Your best months are March, May, June and December.

    ROOSTER Characteristics

    Rooster people are very observant. And most of the time, they are very
    accurate and precise with their observation. Perhaps, you can say that
    Roosters have a very keen "sixth-sense". With Roosters, what you see is
    exactly what you get. There are no hidden depths to the Rooster's
    character: he is neither complicated nor profound, rather, he is very
    forthright and straightforward.
    The rooster likes to be noticed and flattered. He might dress a little
    flashily with this in mind, but in his heart, he is completely
    conservative. Roosters always appear attractive and beautifully turned
    out. They are sociable and love to receive attention.

    Believe it or not, it is not an easy task to fool the Rooster. His mind is
    cautious and skeptical, with this perceptive gift, Roosters make excellent
    trouble shooters, detectives, doctors, nurses and psychiatrists. Roosters
    are always up, out and doing. You rarely see a relaxed rooster that sits
    quietly in the livingroom, doing nothing. They are also multitalented, and
    can become accomplished in many different ways.

    All Roosters are extremely conscious about clothing and appearance. They
    may appear conservative but are obsessed with their look - they can spend
    hours standing in front of the mirrors and will not even wink when they
    spend $500 for a dress. That doesn't mean they don't care about money, in
    fact, they love to compare prices and even if the bargain is only few
    cents or few dollars cheaper, they will be satisfied.

    Though sharp, practical and resourceful, the Rooster also likes to dream.
    And because he likes to dream, he will disappointed the loved one, for the
    reality will never match up to the dreams he would like to share with her.
    Although he really is sincere about those dreams.
    Rooster make great hosts and adore entertaining. The main virtue in the
    Rooster character is loyalty: they make devoted friends. They always keep
    their promises and are always true to their word. When Roosters love and
    admire someone, they will even catch the moon just to keep them happy.


    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat66 - Steamy, yes, but not lasting.
    Ox86 - You are lucky enough to find each other.
    Tiger55 - Not a balanced relationship.
    Rabbit53 - Well, maybe not.
    Dragon72 - Balanced but not passionate.
    Snake90 - A love connection. Omens favorable.
    Horse58 - If they must, but not recommended.
    Goat42 - They'll be unhappy, even they pretend.
    Monkey75 - Probably, who knows.
    Rooster33 - It will be a miracle if it works!
    Dog63 - Only if it's absolutely necessary.
    Pig81 - The Pig is patient, it could work.

    ============================================================================

    DOG In Year 2002

    This is the year you've been waiting for; in fact, the year of Horse
    will be a prosperous and successful year for you Dog people. All the
    stars are on your side, and you should really make the most of this year
    to achieve your goal.
    Anxious to advance in your career? If so, don't forget to show your best
    side this year, and you might just nail that promotion you've been
    longing for. The year of Horse will be a great year for your personal
    finance. You will be rewarded for your wise investment and your gross
    income could be better than the previous year. However, do remember to
    mind your own business and think before you act.
    You will get some help from your mother's family in February, and beware
    of theft and watch your health. April will be a joyful and there will be
    something wonderful to celebrate. Your social status and reputation will
    be on the rise in May; however, you should also try to pay more
    attention to the road when you drive. Stay out of troubles and avoid
    drinking and gambling in December, you will be happy that you do.

    DOG Characteristics

    Dog people are honest, faithful and sincere. They respect tradition and
    value honor, and enjoy helping people. The Dog is very righteous, and
    always is the first to speak out against injustice. He is not good at
    socializing with friends, and rarely shines in company, but he is
    intelligent, caring and a good listener.

    Loyal, faithful and honest, he has the most profound sense of duty. You
    can count on him and he'll never let you down. And as a good listener, the
    Dog is also very reliable in keeping secrets for others. He simply doesn't
    like to gossip.
    The Dog is an agreeable companion - when he is in a good mood. But when
    panic strikes, he can turn nasty, and bark till he is tired. He can be
    judgmental, defensive and picky if you rub him the wrong way, but as long
    as you know how to pet and massage him, the Dog makes absolutely the best
    and most honorable companion on earth.

    Dogs are born old and get younger as they age. They take everything very
    serious. You may hear the Dog complains a lot about street lamps, about
    traffic, or about weather, but as he gets older, the less he takes his own
    criticisms seriously.



    The loyal Dog makes a splendid captain of industry, a priest, an educator,
    a critic, or a doctor. But whatever his career, it'll have in him a
    spokesman whose ideals will be profound and often original.
    When the fear becomes reality, Dogs go a little crazy. The Dog enters a
    relationship where he is the giver and the partner is the taker. He is
    usually very generous and loyal, and in love, he is honest and
    straightforward. But he will have romantic problems all his life - it's
    his own fault, really: he leads himself by his emotional in stability and
    his eternal anxiety. He is a worrier.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat72 - Why not?
    OX62 - Difficult, but possible.
    Tiger89 - Good! A balanced and harmonic relationship.
    Rabbit77 - Fine, as long as they keep it cool.
    Dragon62 - Think again.
    Snake67 - This could work.
    Horse92 - A happy couple.
    Goat62 - Difficult, but possible.
    Monkey67 - With reservation. The dog might suffer.
    Rooster63 - Only if it's absolutely necessary.
    Dog62 - Difficult, but possible.
    Pig84 - They share their thoughts and feelings.

    ============================================================================

    PIG In Year 2002

    Thanks to all the good luck you get from your ancestors, this will be a
    good year for you Pig people. Your finance and romance is both looking
    good, and career is on the rise as well. However, the year of Horse can
    bring you great success or spectacular failure, and only you can
    determine which direction you will be heading to.
    This will be a crucial year for your career. Trust your instinct and
    follow your heart, things will turn out better than you expect. Try to
    volunteer your time to help the needed and do some charity work.
    February is a good month for your finance, you'll either get a bonus or
    make plenty money from your business. Love is in the air in March, so
    don't pass on any opportunity if one of your friends wants to play cupid
    and always try to look your best. Ready for some changes or traveling in
    April. September will be a month to celebrate, but avoid visiting
    patients or attending funerals. Stay alert in October for accidents or
    injury. Your best months are January, February, May, July and September.

    PIG Characteristics

    Pigs are models of sincerity, purity, tolerance, and honor. When you first
    meet them, Pigs seem too good to be true. They are careful and caring,
    obliging and chivalrous. Put your trust in him, he won't let you down and
    he will never try to. The Pigs simply want to do everything right.
    Pigs are the people everyone admires most. Make a list of the Pigs in your
    life: aren't they the nicest, most loving and scrupulously caring people
    around?

    Pigs are born to give, to yield and to serve. Frankly speaking, most
    people take advantage of this Pig nature. Also, not only are Pigs easy to
    fool, they like it that way too. No matter how old they get, Pig people
    still only see and believe that all men/women are basically good. Pig
    people constantly sacrifice their own happiness and comfort for the sake
    of somebody else.

    The Pig is a splendid companion. If you have a lifetime Pig friend, don't
    think that your worries are over. Pigs are loyal, faithful and giving -
    only as long as they approve of you. In order to keep your lifetime Piggy
    friend, remember, never try to force your opinions on a Pig - A Pig rarely
    asks for help and cannot graciously accept it.
    The Pig doesn't say much - but when he does decide to speak, suddenly,
    nothing can stop him until he runs out of subjects. Like the Monkey, the
    Pig is intellectual - a character with a great thirst for knowledge.

    Some people claim that Pigs are snobbish. Manners, breeding and good taste
    are of enormous importance to them. In fact, pigs are aesthetic. Pigs are
    born with an excellent nose for style in everything. Food is another of
    Piggy's little sins. Pigs adore food, and after-dinner chocolates. The Pig
    often over-eats, but he eats with good taste.
    In relationship, Pig people are sensitive, sweet but naive, and caring.
    They are romantic and certainly are the marriage-type. But on the other
    hand, Pigs are also possessive, jealous and exclusive.

    Compatibility
    (1 - least compatible, 100 - most compatible)
    with Rat88 - These two make marvelous mates
    Ox69 - Why not, it worth a try.
    Tiger77 - They are very different, but this will work.
    Rabbit91 - Very compatible. Everything will be good.
    Dragon94 - Most Dragon/Pig marriages last forever.
    Snake45 - The Pig can never please the Snake.
    Horse75 - This relationship worth a try.
    Goat98 - One of the happiest possible combinations.
    Monkey81 - This could work. They admire each other.
    Rooster72 - The Pig is patient, this could work.
    Dog84 - They share their thoughts and feeling.
    Pig92 - An excellent match.


    Comments


    Dear God,


    I'm writing to say I'm sorry
    For being angry yesterday
    When you seemed to ignore my prayer
    And things didn't go my way
    First, my car broke down
    I was very late for work
    But I missed that awful accident
    Was that your handiwork?


    I know you're watching over me
    And I'm feeling truly blessed
    For no matter what I pray for
    You always know what's best!


    I have this circle of E-mail friends,
    Who mean the world to me;
    Some days I "send" and "send",
    At other times, I let them be.


    When I see each name down load,
    And view the message they've sent;
    I know they've thought of me that day,
    And "well wishes" were their intent.
    I am so blessed to have these friends,
    With whom I've grown so close;
    So this little poem I dedicate to them,
    Because to me they are the "Most"!


    So to you, my friends,
    I would like to say,
    Thank you for being a part;
    Of all my daily contacts,
    This comes right from my heart.


    God bless you all is my prayer today,
    I'm honored to call you "friend";
    I pray the Lord will keep you safe,
    Until we write again.

    Comments

    More Deep Thoughts

    1) Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and Keep away from children"
    --Author Unknown

    2) "Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." --Drew Carey

    3) "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house,"
    --Rod Stewart

    4) "The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house." --Jeff Foxworthy

    5) Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was taken. --Unknown, presumed deceased

    6) "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base." --Dave Barry

    7) "Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." --Bob Ettinger

    8) "My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim." --Paula Poundstone

    9) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh' ." --Conan O'Brien

    10) "Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God.... I could be eating a slow learner." --Lynda Montgomery

    11) "I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'" --Richard Jeni

    12) "If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." --Johnny Carson

    13) "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
    --Paul Rodriguez

    14) "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but
    they turned sixty, and that's the law." --Jerry
    Seinfeld

    15) "Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?"
    --Warren Hutcherson

    16) "Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same." --Oscar Wilde

    17) "Suppose you were an idiot . . . And suppose you were a member of Congress . . . . But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain

    18) "Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan!"
    --A. Whitney Brown

    19) "Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
    --Robin Williams

    20) "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself." --Roseanne

    21) "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." --Billy Crystal

    22) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'" --Dave Barry

    Comments

    Definitions:

    Standing for what you believe in,
    Regardless of the odds against you,
    and pressure that tears at your resistance,
    ...means courage

    Stopping at nothing,
    And doing what's in your heart,
    You know is right,
    ...means determination


    Keeping a smile on your face,
    When inside you feel like dying,
    For the sake of supporting others,
    ...means strength

    Helping a friend in need,
    No matter the time or effort,
    To the best of your ability,
    ...means loyalty


    Doing more than is expected,
    To make another's life more bearable,
    Without uttering a single complaint,
    ...means compassion

    Giving more than you have,
    And expecting nothing
    But nothing in return,
    ..means everything


    Comments


    Difference between

    "somebody you Love"

    & "somebody you Like":



    1 - In front of the person you love, your heart
    beats
    faster, But in front of the person you like, you get
    happy.

    2 - in front of the person you love, winter seems
    like
    spring. But in front of the person you like, winter
    is
    just beautiful winter.

    3 - If you look into the eyes of the one you love,
    you
    blush. But if you look into the eyes of the one you
    like, you smile.

    4 - In front of the person you love, you can't say
    everything on your mind. But in front of the person
    you like, you can.

    5 - In front of the person you love, you tend to get
    shy. But in front of the person you like, you can
    show
    your own self.

    6 - You can't look straight into the eyes of the one
    you love. But you can always smile into the eyes of
    the one you like.

    7 - When the one you love is crying, you cry with
    them. But when the one you like is crying, you end
    up
    comforting.

    8 - The feeling of love starts from the eye But the
    feeling of like starts from the ear. So if you stop
    liking a person you used to like, all you need
    to do is cover your ears. But if you try to close
    your
    eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in
    your heart forever...


    God Gives and Forgives
    People Get and Forget


    Comments








    During an hour's
    swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.











    In an average day your hands will have come
    into indirect contact with 15 penises
    (touching door handles etc.)







    An average person's yearly fast food intake
    will contain 12 pubic hairs.








    In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects
    - while you slept!








    Annually you will shake hands with 11 women
    who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.








    Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who
    have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.








    In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined
    the contents of your dirty linen basket.








    At an average wedding reception you have a
    1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.








    Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other
    peoples' anal gases.








    HAVE A GREAT DAY!















    Comments

    Dog Crossing Street - Truth
    Comments

    Easy & Hard


    Bad is easy.................................. Good is hard.

    Losing is easy.............................. Winning is hard.

    Talking is easy............................. Listening is hard.

    Watching TV is easy.................... Reading is hard.

    Giving advice is easy.................... Taking advice is hard.

    Flab is easy................................. Muscle is hard.

    Stop is easy................................ Go is hard.

    Dirty is easy................................ Clean is hard.

    Take is easy................................ Give is hard.

    Dream is easy............................. Think is hard.

    Lying is easy............................... Truth is hard.

    Sleeping is easy.......................... Waking is hard.

    Talking about God is easy............ Pray to God is hard.

    Holding a grudge is easy.............. Forgiving is hard.

    Telling a secret is easy................ Keeping a secret is hard.

    Play is easy................................Work is hard.

    Falling is easy.............................Getting up is hard.

    Spending is easy........................ Saving is hard.

    Eating is easy............................ Dieting is hard.

    Doubt is easy............................. Faith is hard.

    Laughter is easy........................ Tears are hard.

    Criticizing is easy...................... Taking criticism is hard.

    Letting go is easy....................... Hanging on is hard.

    Secret sin is easy...................... Confession is hard.

    Pride is easy.............................. Humility is hard.

    Excusing oneself is easy............. Excusing others is hard.

    Borrowing is easy........................ Paying back is hard.

    Sex is easy................................ Love is hard.

    Argument is easy........................ Negotiation is hard.

    Naughty is easy.......................... Nice is hard.

    Going along is easy..................... Walking alone is hard.

    Dumb is easy.............................. Smart is hard.

    Cowardice is easy....................... Bravery is hard.

    Messy is easy............................ Neat is hard.

    War is easy................................ Peace is hard.

    Sarcasm is easy......................... Sincerity is hard.

    An F is easy............................... An A is hard.

    Growing weeds is easy................ Growing flowers is hard.

    Reaction is easy......................... Action is hard.

    Can't do is easy.......................... Can do is hard.

    Feasting is easy......................... Fasting is hard.

    Following is easy........................ Leading is hard.

    Having friend is easy................... Being a friend is hard.

    Dying is easy............................. Living is hard.
    Comments

    **Before you say anything to anyone,
    ask yourself three things:

    1.) Is it true?
    2.) Is it kind?
    3.) Is it necessary?

    **Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully**

    **Never miss the opportunity to compliment
    or say something encouraging to someone**

    **Refuse to talk negatively about others
    don't gossip and don't listen to gossip**

    **Have a forgiving view to people. Believe that
    most people are doing the best they can**

    **Keep an open mind: discuss, but don't argue.
    (It is possible to disagree without being
    disagreeable)**

    **Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000
    before doing or saying anything that could
    make matters worse**

    **Let your virtues speak for themselves**

    **If someone criticizes you, see if there is
    any TRUTH to what he is saying; if so, make changes.
    If there is no truth to the criticism, ignore it
    and live so that no one will believe the
    negative remark**

    **Cultivate your sense of humor, laughter is
    the shortest distance between two people. Do not
    seek so much to be consoled, as to console; do not
    seek so much to be understood; as to understand;
    do not seek so much to be loved as to love**

    **I pray that all of us will keep these points
    in mind and the Biblical principles behind
    them so that we can continuously improve our
    personal relationships with others where ever we are**
    ~~Author Unknown


    Comments

    >>
    >> ....... A Friend....
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >> (A)ccepts you as you are
    >>
    >> (B)elieves in "you"
    >>
    >> (C)alls you just to say "HI"
    >>
    >> (D)oesn't give up on you
    >>
    >> (E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)
    >>
    >> (F)orgives your mistakes
    >>
    >> (G)ives unconditionally
    >>
    >> (H)elps you
    >>
    >> (I)nvites you over
    >>
    >> (J)ust "be" with you
    >>
    >> (K)eeps you close at heart
    >>
    >> (L)oves you for who you are
    >>
    >> (M)akes a difference in your life
    >>
    >> (N)ever Judges
    >>
    >> (O)ffer support
    >>
    >> (P)icks you up
    >>
    >> (Q)uiets your fears
    >>
    >> (R)aises your spirits
    >>
    >> (S)ays nice things about you
    >>
    >> (T)ells you the truth when you need tohear it
    >>
    >> (U)nderstands you
    >>
    >> (V)alues you
    >>
    >> (W)alks beside you
    >>
    >> (X)-plains thing you don't understand
    >>
    >> (Y)ells when you won't listen and
    >>
    >> (Z)aps you back to reality
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>
    >>

    Comments



    > One big company was hiring new staff, one of the questions from the
    written
    > exam was:
    >
    > All by yourself, you are driving a car on a bad stormy night. You
    pass a
    bus
    > station, where there are three people waiting for the bus; one old
    lady
    who
    > is dying, one doctor who saved your life before, one gorgeous
    guy/lady who
    > is someone you have been dreaming to be with.
    > Due to the limited room in the car, you can give lift to only one
    person.
    > Which one you will choose? Please explain your reason.
    >
    > Think about it before you read the following... What will be your
    answer ?
    >
    > .
    >
    > .
    >
    > .
    > .
    > .
    > .
    > .
    >
    > .
    > .
    >
    > .
    > .
    > .
    > .
    > .
    > .
    >
    > Every answer has its reason.
    >
    > * The lady who is about to die, you should save her first. However,
    she is
    > dying anyway. Is it worth it?
    > * May be you should take the doctor, because the doctor saved your
    life
    > before, this is the perfect chance to pay
    > him back. He may live to save more lives... On the same token, you
    have
    > already paid his fees....
    > * The person you have dreamed about... You may never be able to find
    such
    an
    > opportunity again. Stormy night
    > spent all cuddled up....
    >
    > Among the two hundred candidates, the one who was hired, simply
    stated,
    >
    > "I would give the car key to the doctor, so that he can take the old
    lady
    to
    > the hospital and I stay to wait for the bus with the lady of my
    dream!"
    >
    > Everyone I know think the above answer is the best answer, but there
    is no
    > one (including myself) who can think of this answer first. Is that
    because
    > we never want to give up anything? Not letting go anything?
    >
    >
    > Think about it!
    >
    >

    Comments

    Have you ever wondered...


    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
    with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't
    they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?


    Comments


    Sentences taken from actual letters received by a welfare department in application for financial support.


    I am forwarding a marriage certificate and six children. I have seven, one died, which are baptized on a half sheet of paper.

    I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get the money?

    Mrs. Jones has had no clothes for a year, and has been visited regularly by a preacher.

    I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell my why?

    I am glad to report that my husband who was missing is dead!

    This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

    Please find out if my husband is dead. The man I am living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

    I am very annoyed to find out that you branded my son as illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married one week before he was born.

    In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

    I am forwarding my marriage certificate and five children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.

    My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago, and I haven't had any relief since.

    Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be force to lead and immortal life.

    You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

    I have no children yet as my husband is a truck driver and works day and night.

    In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

    I want some money quickly as I can get it. I have been in bed with the same doctor for two weeks, and he doesn't do any good. If things don't improve I will have to get another doctor to help him.










    Seth Croston Barber <kn1ght@cyberis.net>
    Last modified: Wed Oct 06 13:29:36 PDT 1999



    Comments

    Top 10 Fashion Suggestions for Nerds

    While creating Fashion4Nerds.com, we interviewed over 30 young women between the ages of 18 and 32 about their likes and dislikes when it comes to guys' fashion. We even asked them to give special attention to why they consider us Nerds unfashionable.

    Here are their Top 10 responses, ordered by frequency of occurrence. Some tips may surprise you - they surprised us!

    10. Always wear a belt

    Pants have belt-loops for a reason. Use them. You can't go wrong with black or brown, but stay away from large, fancy buckles...

    9. White socks are only worn during athletic activities

    Gleaming, bright-white socks, worn beneath jet-black dress shoes. Even we have to admit that's pretty ugly...

    8. Make sure nails are trimmed and clean

    Who knew - women pay attention to a guy's finger nails...

    7. No facial hair

    Long story short, to be on the safe side, ditch the facial hair. Yes, some men can pull it off, you probably aren't one of them...

    6. Pants - no pleats or tapered legs

    You're not a rock star, so no tapered or tight-legged jeans...

    5. If it has a hole, tear or discoloration throw it out

    Doesn't matter how tiny the hole is - get rid of worn out clothing immediately...

    4. Running shoes are for the gym ONLY

    Simple rule: No running, no running shoes. Period.

    3. Do NOT wear free or company t-shirts

    Free t-shirts are great, but don't wear them anywhere you actually hope to talk to girls...

    2. Do NOT tuck in your shirt (unless at a formal event)

    You may think tucking in your shirt looks 'neater', but women disagree. There are a few exceptions...


    And the number one suggestion/complaint of women everywhere:


    1. Never wear socks with sandals

    socksandsandalsThere are few things women hate more than this footwear choice. Ask any woman you can find - to them, wearing socks with sandals is an extremely heinous act...


    For more tips: Fashion4Nerds.com.
    Comments


    While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a
    playground. "That's my son over there," she said, pointing to a little boy
    in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.

    "He's a fine looking boy" the man said. "That's my daughter on the bike in
    the white dress." Then, looking at his watch, he called to his daughter.

    "What do you say we go, Melissa?"

    Melissa pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more
    minutes."

    The man nodded and Melissa continued to ride her bike to her heart's
    content.

    Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his daugheter. "Time
    to go now?"

    Again Melissa pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes."

    The man smiled and said, "O.K."

    "My, you certainly are a patient father," the woman responded.

    The man smiled and then said, "Her older brother Tommy was killed by a drunk
    driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much
    time with Tommy and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with
    him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Melissa. She thinks she
    has five more minutes to ride her bike. The truth is, I get Five more
    minutes to watch her play."


    Life is all about making priorities; what are your priorities?

    Give someone you love 5 more minutes of your time today and send this
    inspiring story to them.


    Comments

    Friends Alphabet - Truth
    Comments

    Friends Find Their Way - Truth
    Comments

    From Birth to Death - Truth
    Comments

    1. Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and
    ends with a tear.
    2. Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
    3. If love isn't a game, why are there so many
    players?
    4. Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave,
    and impossible to forget.
    5. You can only go as far as you push.
    6. Actions speak louder than words.
    7. The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love,
    love somebody else.
    8. Don't let the past hold you back; you're missing
    the good stuff.
    9. Life's short. If you don't look around once in a
    while, you might miss it.
    10. A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard
    to find and lucky to have.
    11. If you think that the world means nothing, think
    again. You might mean the world to someone else.
    12. Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us.
    13. When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead,
    you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.
    14. True friendship never ends.
    15. Friends are forever.
    16. Good friends are like stars......You don't always
    see them, but you know they are always there.
    17. Don't frown. You never know who is falling in
    love with your smile.
    18. What do you do when the only person who can make
    you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
    19. Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
    20. Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay,
    then it's not the end.
    21. Most people walk in and out of you life. But
    only friends leave footprints in your heart.
    Comments

    Formula: 15 minutes every morning reading something spiritual + 15 minutes at lunch reading something career related + 15 minutes before dinner reading self-improvement + 15 minutes before bed reading general topics = 1 Full day of education added to your week!

    Comments


    It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.


    Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.


    Life is the only thing you can't get out of alive.


    May your life be like toilet paper... Long and useful.


    Someone said to Voltaire, "Life is hard." Voltaire replied, "Compared to what?"


    We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.


    Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!


    Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.


    Today is the last day of some of your life.


    Death is a once in a lifetime experience.


    What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.


    Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.


    After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'

    Comments


    Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
    discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an
    'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them.






    In a Tokyo Hotel:
    Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.

    In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
    The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

    In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
    To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

    In a Paris hotel elevator:
    Please leave your values at the front desk.

    In a hotel in Athens:
    Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

    In a Yugoslavian hotel:
    The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

    In a Japanese hotel:
    You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery:
    You are welcome to visit the cemetary where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

    On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
    Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

    Outside a Hong Kong tailer shop:
    Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

    In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
    Drop your trousers here for best results.

    In a Rhodes tailor shop:
    Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

    From the Soviet Weekly:
    There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

    A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
    It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

    In a Zurich hotel:
    Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

    In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
    Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

    In a Rome laundry:
    Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

    In a Czechoslovakin tourist agency:
    Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

    Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
    Would you like to ride on your own ass?

    In a Swiss mountain inn:
    Special today -- no ice cream.

    In a Bangkok temple:
    It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

    In a Tokyo bar:
    Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

    In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
    We take your bags and send them in all directions.

    In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
    Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

    In a Budapest zoo:
    Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

    In the office of a Roman doctor:
    Specialist in women and other diseases.

    In an Acapulco hotel:
    The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

    From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
    Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

    From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
    When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

    Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
    - English well speaking
    - Here speeching American.


    Comments

    GOD answers prayer in 3 ways :

    HE says YES & gives you what you want.

    HE says NO and gives you BETTER.

    HE says WAIT & gives you the BEST EVER
    Comments

    First God created the ox, and He said to the ox, "Today I have created you! As a beast of burden, this is what you will do. You will go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the sun, pulling the plow or hauling wagons! And to do this, I will give you a life span of 50 years."
    The ox objected. "What, you want me to live that kind of life for 50 years? Let me have 20 years, that'll be plenty of work, and I'll give 30 years back to you." So God agreed.
    Then God created the dog, and He said to the dog, "Okay, dog. What you're going to do is sit all day at the door of your house, and guard the door. Any people that walk by, or try to come in, you bark at them. I'll give you a lifespan of 20 years for this!"
    And the dog objected. "What? All day long I have to sit by the door? No way! Just give me ten years. I'll give you back the other ten!" So God agreed.
    Then God created the monkey, and He said to the monkey, "A monkey has to be entertaining. You get to make everybody laugh and do tricks. And I'll give you 30 years of life to do this."
    And the monkey objected, too. "What, Make people laugh? Monkey tricks? Twenty years will do for that, and the other 10 years, I give back to you." So God agreed.
    Then God created Man. He said to the Man, "Your job is to sleep, eat, and play. You will enjoy many things in your life. You're my special creation, and all you have to do is be good and enjoy your life. For this kind of life, I'll give you a 20 years lifespan."
    The man objected, too. "What, God? Such a good life? Eat, play, sleep, do nothing? Enjoy the best and you expect me to live for only 20 years? Why don't we make a deal? Since the cow gave you back 30 years, the dog gave you back 10 years and the monkey gave you back 10 years, I will take those years! That will make my lifespan 70 years, right?" So God agreed.
    And that's why...
    For our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy life and do nothing much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long. For the next 10 years, we entertain our grandchildren by making monkey faces and doing tricks. And for the last 10 years, we stay at home, sit in front of the door and bark at people!

    Comments

    Read 1st line carefully

    If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

    Happy moments,Praise God.

    Difficult moments, seek God.

    Quiet moments, worship God.
    Painful moments, trust God.

    Every moment, thank God.
    Comments

    >Quick Inspiration For the day: If I Had My Life To Live Over
    >
    >I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending
    >the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for
    >the day.
    >
    >I would have talked less and listened more.
    >
    >I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was
    >stained, or the sofa faded.
    >
    >I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about
    >his youth.
    >
    >I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer
    >day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
    >
    >There would have been more "I love you's."
    >
    >...But mostly, given another shot at life, I would sieze every m
    >inute...look at it and really see it .... live it...and never
    >give it back.
    >
    >Stop sweating the small stuff. Don't worry about who doesn't like
    >you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the
    >relationships we have with those who do love us.
    >
    >Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are
    >doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally,
    >as well as spiritually. Life is too short to let it pass you by. We
    >only have one shot at this and then it's gone.
    >
    >I hope you all have a blessed day.
    >
    >
    >- Erma Bombeck when she found out she had cancer
    >
    >

    Comments


    Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
    Washington, D.C.

    Dear Sir:

    My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Minnesota, received a check for $1,000.00 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year.

    What I want to know is in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise Razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.

    As I see it the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.

    My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $122.00 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1,000.00 for not raising hogs.

    If I get $1,000.00 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2,000.00 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $8,000.00 the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.

    Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4,000 hogs I am not going to raise?

    I want to get started as soon as possible as this seems to be a good time of the year not to raise hogs and grain.

    Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any information on that, too.

    In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.

    Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.

    Patriotically yours,
    Roger C. Nemister

    P.S. Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free cheese?





    Comments

    READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.

    Michael is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

    He was a natural motivator.

    If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

    Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

    Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood
    or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood."

    Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

    Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

    "Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

    "Yes, it is," Michael said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how
    you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

    I reflected on what Michael said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

    Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
    After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

    I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

    I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

    "The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

    "Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

    Michael continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

    "What did you do?" I asked.

    "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

    Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead!"

    Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we
    have the choice to live fully.

    Attitude, after all, is everything.

    After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

    You have two choices now:
    (1). Delete this.
    (2). Forward it to the people you care about.

    You know the choice I made!!!

    Comments

    Twelve tips for a great relationship

    Talk to each other. Your partner cannot read your mind, no matter how much they love you. Be clear about what you want to say and listen carefully to your partner.
    Spend time together. Love is time, the time you invest in each other. Make your relationship a priority.
    Balance the time you spend at work with the time you spend working on your relationship.
    To feel good about your relationship you need to feel good about yourself; work on it.
    Make room in your relationship for differences and value those differences.
    Relationships are flexible; let yours grow and adapt with you.
    Set goals for your relationship and plan for your future life together.
    Try not to judge, criticise or blame each other. After all, we're only human.
    No one is perfect, arguments happen; resolve them with respect.
    Be sexually considerate of each other. Be affectionate and have fun. Remember your sex drives may be different.
    Be attentive and romantic. Remember how it was when you first met. Keep the hugs, flowers, chocolates and love letters coming.
    Express and demonstrate your commitment to the relationship. Have fun and regularly celebrate the things you enjoy in your life together.
    Comments

    Great Wealth - Truth
    Comments

    Happiness - Truth
    Comments

    A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.


    As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.


    "I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.



    "Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."

    "That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied.


    "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. "It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

    Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

    Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

    So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing." Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

    1. Free your heart from hatred.
    2. Free your mind from worries.
    3. Live simply.
    4. Give more.
    5. Expect less.

    Pass this message to 7 people except me. You will receive a miracle tomorrow.

    Now, STOP! Did you hear what I just said. You WILL receive a miracle tomorrow. So send it right now!
    Comments

    THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY:

    Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of
    forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male
    was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
    flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from
    burns, but from massive internal injuries.

    Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set
    about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest
    fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a
    diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The firefighters,
    seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of
    helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and
    then flown to the forest fire and emptied.

    You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
    Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300
    feet in the air. Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the
    fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

    This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?

    A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the
    kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it
    accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the
    handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the
    motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the
    crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor,
    cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio
    door.

    The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived
    on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to
    the street to escort the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance
    arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife
    uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

    Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels,
    blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was
    treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the
    shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became
    despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the
    toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped
    it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was
    in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She
    ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers
    had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of
    his legs, and his groin.

    The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same
    paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The
    paramedics loaded the husband onto the stretcher and began carrying him to
    the street.

    While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the
    wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned
    himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of
    them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down
    the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

    Taken from a Florida Newspaper.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    STILL HAVING A BAD DAY?

    Just remember, it could be worse.....

    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
    in Alaska was $8,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
    saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers
    and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer
    whale ate them both.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in
    order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of
    needling, he snapped and beat her with an axe leaving her
    mentally retarded.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically
    with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric
    kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him
    with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking
    his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to
    his Walkman.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs
    to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of
    them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two
    hapless protesters to death.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    And finally.......

    Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
    It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
    bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

    Your day's not so bad, is it?

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Another version:

    Deep thoughts....by Jack Handey


    The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:

    You're a Siamese twin.

    Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay.

    You're not.

    He has a date coming over today.

    But you have the only ass.

    Feel better now?


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Another one:

    Are ya havin' a Bad Day????

    Well, then, consider this...............................

    In a hospital ' s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in
    the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m.,
    regardless of their medical condition.


    This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had
    something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the
    mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on
    Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to
    investigate the cause of the incidents.

    The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all
    of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to
    see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
    Some were holding wooden crossses, prayer books, and other holy
    objects to ward off the evil spirits.


    Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time
    Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support
    system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.



    Having a Bad Day????

    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
    Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $ 80,000.00. At a special
    ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being
    released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from
    onlookers.

    A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them
    both.




    Still think you are having a Bad Day????


    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
    frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire
    running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending
    to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with
    a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to
    that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.



    STILL think you ' re having a Bad Day????

    Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of
    sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany. Suddenly,
    all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
    fence, stampeding madly.

    The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

    What?? STILL having a Bad Day????

    Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn ' t pay enough postage on a
    letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on
    it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown
    to bits.

    There now, feeling better????
    Comments

    Heart With Words - Truth
    Comments

    Hourly Earnings - Truth
    Comments


    This is really meaningful and worth spending a minute!!!



    I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

    "Oh excuse me please" was my reply.



    He said, "Please excuse me, too;

    I wasn't really watching for you."



    We were very polite, this stranger and I.

    We went on our way and we said good-bye.



    But at home a different story is told,

    How we treat our loved ones, young and old.



    Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

    My son stood beside me very still.



    When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

    "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.



    He walked away, his little heart broken.

    I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.



    While I lay awake that night in bed,

    God's still small voice came to me and said,



    "While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,

    But the children you love, you seem to abuse.



    Go and look on the kitchen floor,

    You'll find some flowers there by the door.



    Those are the flowers he brought for you.

    He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.



    He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

    You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."



    By this time, I was feeling very small,

    And then my tears began to fall.



    I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

    "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.



    "Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

    He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.



    I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

    I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."



    I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

    I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."



    He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."

    I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like

    the flowers, especially the blue."



    Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that

    we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.



    But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the

    rest of their lives.



    And come to think of it, we pour ourselves

    more into work than into our own family---- an unwise

    investment indeed, don't you think?



    So what is behind this story? Do you know what the word

    FAMILY means?



    FAMILY=(F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER,(I) (L)OVE (Y)OU!



    Pass this on to everyone that you care about.

    I just did!

    Comments

    How to Stay Young and Happy


    1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
    Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.



    2. Keep only cheerful friends.
    The grouches pull you down. (keep this In mind if you are one of those
    grouches;)



    3. Keep learning:
    Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
    whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
    "An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
    And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!





    4. Enjoy the simple things.


    5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
    And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time
    with HIM/HER.



    6. The tears happen:
    Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life,
    is yourself. LIVE while you are alive.





    7. Surround yourself with what you love:
    Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
    Your home is your refuge.



    8. Cherish your health:
    If it is good, preserve it.
    If it is unstable, improve it.
    If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.





    9. Don't take guilt trips.
    Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but
    NOT to where the guilt is.




    10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity., and
    mean it!







    And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?

    But do share this with someone. =o)
    Comments

    I am thankful...


    .. for the husband who complains when his dinner is
    not on time, because it means he is home with me, not
    with someone else.


    .. for the teenager who is complaining about doing
    dishes, because it means she/he is at home, not on the
    streets.


    .. for the taxes that I pay, because it means that I
    am employed .


    .. for the mess to clean after a party, because it
    means that I have been surrounded by friends.


    .. for the clothes that fit a little too snug,
    because it means I have enough to eat.


    .. for my shadow that watches me work, because it
    means I am out in the sunshine.


    .. for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need
    cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it
    means I have a home.


    .. for all the complaining I hear about the
    Government, because it means we have freedom ofspeech.



    .. for the parking spot I find at the far end of the
    parking lot, because it means I am capable of
    walking, and that I have been blessed with
    transportation.


    .. for my huge heating bill, because it means I am
    warm.


    .. for the lady behind me in church that sings off
    key, because it means that I can hear.


    .. for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it
    means I have clothes to wear.


    .. for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the
    day, because it means I have been capable of working
    hard and using those limbs.


    .. for the alarm that goes off in the early morning,
    because it means that I am alive.

    And finally


    .... for too much e-mail, because it means I have
    friends who are thinking of me and are trying to make
    me smile even when they are out of touch..




    And... Another Version:

    THE PARTNER WHO HOGS THE COVERS EVERY NIGHT,BECAUSe
    HE/SHE IS NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


    THE CHILD WHO IS NOT CLEANING HIS ROOM, BUT IS
    WATCHING TV, BECAUSE THAT MEANS HE IS AT HOME AND NOt
    ON THE STREETS.

    FOR THE TAXES THAT I PAY, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I AM
    EMPLOYED.

    FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY, BECAUSE IT MEANS
    THAT I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

    FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG, BECAUSE IT
    MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

    FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK, BECAUSE IT MEANS I
    AM IN THE SUNSHINE.

    FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED
    CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING, BECAUSE IT
    MEANS I HAVE A HOME.

    FOR ALL THE COMPLAINTS I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT,
    BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

    FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE
    PARKING LOT, BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
    AND THAT I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

    FOR MY HUGE HEATING/COOLING BILL, BECAUSE IT MEANS I
    AM WARM/REFRESHED.

    FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY,
    BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I CAN HEAR.

    FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING, BECAUSE IT
    MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

    FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE
    DAY, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING
    HARD.

    FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING
    HOURS, BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.AND FINALLY.......


    FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS
    WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

    ---

    And more:

    FOR THE WIFE
    WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
    BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
    AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

    FOR THE HUSBAND
    WHO IS ON THE SOFA
    BEING A COUCH POTATO,
    BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
    AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.
    Comments

    I Believe - Truth
    Comments

    I Love You in 20 Languages - Truth
    Language Translation

    -------- -----------

    Afrikaans Ek het jou liefe

    Afrikaans Ek is lief vir jou

    Albanian te dua

    Albanian te dashuroj

    Alentejano(Portugal) Gosto De Ti, Porra!

    Alsacien Ich hoan dich gear

    Amharic Afekrishalehou

    Arabic Ana Behibak (to a male)

    Arabic Ana Behibek (to a female)

    Arabic Ib'n hebbak.

    Arabic Ana Ba-heb-bak

    Arabic nhebuk

    Arabic Ohiboke (male to female)

    Arabic Ohiboka (female to male)

    Arabic Ohibokoma (male or female to
    two males or two females)

    Arabic Nohiboke (more than one male
    or female to female)

    Arabic Nohiboka (male to male or
    female to male)

    Arabic Nohibokoma (m. to m. or f. to
    two males or two females)

    Arabic Nohibokom (m. to m. or f. to
    more than two males)

    Arabic Nohibokon (m. to m. or f. to
    more than two females)

    Arabic (not standard) Bahibak (female to male)

    Arabic (not standard) Bahibik (male to female)

    Arabic (not standard) Benhibak (more than one male
    or female to male)

    Arabic (not standard) Benhibik (male to male or
    female to female)

    Arabic (not standard) Benhibkom (m. to m. or female
    to more than one male)

    Assamese Moi tomak bhal pau

    Basc Nere Maitea

    Batak Holong rohangku di ho

    Bavarian I mog di narrisch gern

    Bengali Ami tomAy bhAlobAshi

    Bengali Ami tomake bhalobashi.

    Berber Lakh tirikh

    Bicol Namumutan ta ka

    Bolivian Quechua qanta munani

    Bulgarian Obicham te

    Burmese chit pa de

    Cambodian Bon sro lanh oon

    Cambodian kh_nhaum soro_lahn nhee_ah

    Canadian French Sh'teme (spoken, sounds like
    this)

    Cantonese Moi oiy neya

    Cantonese Ngo oi ney

    Catalan T'estim (mallorcan)

    Catalan T'estim molt (I love you a
    lot)

    Catalan T'estime (valencian)

    Catalan T'estimo (catalonian)

    Cebuano Gihigugma ko ikaw.

    Chickasaw chiholloli (first "i"
    nasalized)

    Chinese (see the entries for mandarin
    or cantonese!)

    Corsican Ti tengu cara (to female)

    Corsican Ti tengu caru (to male)

    Croatian LJUBim te

    Czech miluji te

    Czech MILUJU TE! (colloquial form)

    Danish Jeg elsker dig

    Dutch Ik hou van jou

    Dutch Ik ben verliefd op je

    Ecuador Quechua canda munani

    English I love you

    English I adore you

    Esperanto Mi amas vin

    Estonian Mina armastan sind

    Estonian Ma armastan sind

    Farsi Tora dust midaram

    Farsi Asheghetam

    Farsi (Persian) doostat dAram

    Filipino Mahal kita

    Filipino Iniibig Kita

    Finnish Mina" rakastan sinua

    Flemish Ik zie oe geerne

    French Je t'aime

    French Je t'adore

    Friesian Ik hald fan dei

    Gaelic Ta gra agam ort

    German Ich liebe Dich

    Greek s'ayapo (spoken s'agapo, 3rd
    letter is lower case

    'gamma')

    Greek (old) (Ego) philo su (ego is only
    needed for emphasis)

    Greenlandic Asavakit

    Gujrati Hoon tane pyar karoochhoon.

    Hausa Ina sonki

    Hawaiian Aloha I'a Au Oe

    Hebrew Ani ohev otach (male to
    female)

    Hebrew Ani ohev otcha (male to
    male)

    Hebrew Ani ohevet otach (female
    to female)

    Hebrew Ani ohevet otcha (female
    to male)

    Hindi Mai tumase pyar karata hun
    (male to female)

    Hindi Mai tumase pyar karati hun
    (female to male)

    Hindi Main Tumse Prem Karta Hoon

    Hindi Mai Tumhe Pyar Karta Hoon

    Hindi Main Tumse Pyar Karta Hoon

    Hindi Mai Tumse Peyar Karta Hnu

    Hindi Mai tumse pyar karta hoo

    Hokkien Wa ai lu

    Hopi Nu' umi unangwa'ta

    Hungarian Szeretlek

    Hungarian Szeretlek te'ged

    Icelandic Eg elska thig

    Indi Mai Tujhe Pyaar Kartha Ho

    Indonesian Saya cinta padamu (Saya,
    commonly used)

    Indonesian Saya cinta kamu ( "
    )

    Indonesian Saya kasih saudari ( "
    )

    Indonesian Aku tjinta padamu (Aku, not
    often used)

    Indonesian Aku cinta padamu ( "
    )

    Indonesian Aku cinta kamu ( "
    )

    Iranian Mahn doostaht doh-rahm

    Irish taim i' ngra leat

    Italian ti amo (if it's a
    relationship/lover/spouse)

    Italian ti voglio bene (if it's a
    friend, or relative)

    Japanese Kimi o ai shiteru

    Japanese Aishiteru

    Japanese Chuu shiteyo

    Japanese Ora omee no koto ga suki da

    Japanese Ore wa omae ga suki da

    Japanese Suitonnen

    Japanese Sukiyanen

    Japanese Sukiyo

    Japanese Watashi Wa Anata Ga Suki Desu

    Japanese Watashi Wa Anata Wo Aishithe
    Imasu

    Japanese Watakushi-wa anata-wo ai
    shimasu

    Japanese Suki desu (used at 1st time,
    like for a start,

    when you are not
    yet real lovers)

    Javanese Kulo tresno

    Kannada Naanu Ninnanu Preethisuthene

    Kannada Naanu Ninnanu Mohisuthene

    Kiswahili Nakupenda

    Klingon qabang

    Klingon qaparHa' (depends where in the
    galaxy you are)

    Korean No-rul sarang hae (man to
    woman in casual relation)

    Korean Tangsinul sarang ha yo

    Korean Tangshin-ul sarang hae-yo

    Korean Tangsinul Sarang Ha Yo

    Korean Tangshin-i cho-a-yo (i like
    you, in a romantic way)

    Korean Nanun tangshinul sarang
    hamnida

    Korean Nanun Dangsineul Mucheog
    Joahapnida

    Korean Nanun Dangsineul Saranghapnida

    Korean Nanun Gdaega Joa

    Korean Nanun Gdaereul Saranghapnida

    Korean Nanun Neoreul Saranghanda

    Korean Gdaereul Hjanghan Naemaeum
    Alji

    Korean Joahaeyo

    Korean Saranghae

    Korean Saranghaeyo

    Korean Saranghapanida

    Kurdish Ez te hezdikhem (?)

    Lao Koi muk jao

    Lao Khoi huk chau

    Latin Te amo

    Latin Vos amo

    Latin (old) (Ego) amo te (ego, for
    emphasis)

    Latvian Es milu tevi (Pronounced "Ess
    tevy meeloo")

    Lebanese Bahibak

    Lingala Nalingi yo

    Lisbon lingo gramo-te bue', chavalinha

    Lithuanian TAVE MYLIU (ta-ve mee-lyu)

    Lojban mi do prami

    Luo Aheri

    Macedonian SAKAM TE!

    Madrid lingo Me molas, tronca

    Malay Saya cintakan mu

    Malay Saya sayangkan mu

    Malay/Indonesian Saya sayangkan engkau

    Malay/Indonesian Saya cintakan awak

    Malayalam Njyaan Ninne' Preetikyunnu

    Malayalam Njyaan Ninne' Mohikyunnu.

    Malayalam Ngan Ninne Snaehikkunnu

    Malaysian Saya Cintamu

    Malaysian Saya Sayangmu

    Malaysian Saya Cinta Kamu

    Mandarin Wo ai ni (Wo3 ai4 ni3 in
    tonal notation)

    Marathi me tujhashi prem karto (male
    to female)

    Marathi me tujhashi prem karte (female
    to male)

    Marathi Mi tuzya var prem karato

    Mohawk Konoronhkwa

    Navaho Ayor anosh'ni

    Ndebele Niyakutanda

    Norwegian Eg elskar deg (Nynorsk)

    Norwegian Jeg elsker deg (Bokmaal)
    (pronouncedyai elske dai)

    Op Op Lopveop Yopuop

    Osetian Aez dae warzyn

    Pakistani Mujhe Tumse Muhabbat Hai

    Persian Tora dost daram

    Pig Latin Ie Ovele Ouye

    Polish Kocham Cie

    Polish Ja cie kocham

    Polish Yacha kocham

    Polish Kocham Ciebie

    Portuguese Amo-te

    Portuguese (Brazilian) Eu te amo

    Punjabi Mai taunu pyar karda

    Punjabi Main Tainu Pyar Karna

    Quenya Tye-mela'ne

    Romanian Te iu besc

    Romanian Te Ador

    Russian Ya vas liubliu

    Russian Ya tebya liubliu

    Russian Ya polubeel s'tebya

    Russian (malincaya) Ya Tibieh Lublue

    Scot Gaelic Tha gra\dh agam ort

    Serbian ljubim te (I kiss you/love
    you,

    'lj' pronounced
    like 'll' in

    Spanish, one
    sound, 'ly'ish)

    Serbocroatian Volim te

    Serbocroatian Ljubim te

    Shona Ndinokuda

    Sinhalese Mama oyata adarei

    Sioux Techihhila

    Slovak lubim ta

    Slovene ljubim te

    Spanish Te quiero

    Spanish Te amo

    Srilankan Mama Oyata Arderyi

    Swahili Naku penda (followed by the
    person's name)

    Swedish Jag a"lskar dig

    Swiss-German Ch'ha di ga"rn

    Syrian/Lebanese BHEBBEK (to a female)

    Syrian/Lebanese BHEBBAK (to a male)

    Tagalog Mahal kita

    Tahitian Ua Here Vau Ia Oe

    Tamil Ni yaanai kaadli karen
    (You love me)

    Tamil n^An unnaik kAthalikkinREn (I
    love you)

    Tamil Naan Unnai Kadalikiren

    Tcheque MILUJI TE^

    Telugu Neenu ninnu pra'mistu'nnanu

    Telugu/india Nenu Ninnu Premistunnanu

    Thai Phom Rak Khun (formal, male
    to female)

    Thai Ch'an Rak Khun (formal,
    female to male)

    Thai Khao Raak Thoe (affectionate,
    sweet, loving)

    Thai Phom Rak Khun

    Tunisian Ha eh bak
    *

    Turkish Seni seviyo*rum (o* means
    o)

    Turkish Seni Seviyurum

    Turkish Seni Seviyorum

    Ukrainian ja tebe koKHAju (real true
    love)

    Ukrainian ja vas koKHAju

    Ukrainian ja pokoKHAv tebe

    Ukrainian ja pokoKHAv vas

    Urdu Mujhe tumse mohabbat hai

    Urdu Main Tumse Muhabbat Karta Hoon

    Vietnamese Em ye^u anh (woman to man)

    Vietnamese Toi yeu em

    Vietnamese Anh ye^u em (man to woman)

    Vlaams Ik hue van ye

    Vulcan Wani ra yana ro aisha

    Welsh 'Rwy'n dy garu di.

    Welsh Yr wyf i yn dy garu di (chwi)

    Yiddish Ich libe dich

    Yiddish Ich han dich lib

    Yiddish Ikh Hob Dikh Lib

    Yugoslavian Ya te volim

    Zazi Ezhele hezdege (sp?)

    Zulu Mena Tanda Wena

    Zulu Ngiyakuthanda!

    Zuni Tom ho' ichema

    Maltese Jien inhobbok (pronounced yinn inhobbok) [Thanks, Kle]



    Addition: --------------------------------------------

    BUT IN, ...........
    Alabama, Arkansas, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas,
    North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia,
    Tennessee, Missouri, Mississippi, Montana,
    Louisiana, Virginia, West Virginia, Kentucky &
    parts of Florida. . . . . . . .............
    .Nice Ass, Get in the truck!

    ------------------------------------------------------


    Now in more than 100 languages :)

    English - I love you
    Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
    Albanian - Te dua
    Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
    Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
    Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
    Bambara - M'bi fe
    Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
    Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
    Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
    Bulgarian - Obicham te
    Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
    Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
    Catalan - T'estimo
    Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
    Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
    Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
    Creol - Mi aime jou
    Croatian - Volim te
    Czech - Miluji te
    Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
    Dutch - Ik hou van jou
    Esperanto - Mi amas vin
    Estonian - Ma armastan sind
    Ethiopian - Afgreki'
    Faroese - Eg elski teg
    Farsi - Doset daram
    Filipino - Mahal kita
    Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
    French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
    Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
    Georgian - Mikvarhar
    German - Ich liebe dich
    Greek - S'agapo
    Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
    Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
    Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
    Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
    Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
    Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
    Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
    Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
    Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
    Hungarian - Szeretlek
    Icelandic - Eg elska tig
    Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
    Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
    Inuit - Negligevapse
    Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
    Italian - Ti amo
    Japanese - Aishiteru
    Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
    Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
    Kiswahili - Nakupenda
    Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
    Korean - Sarang Heyo
    Latin - Te amo
    Latvian - Es tevi miilu
    Lebanese - Bahibak
    Lithuanian - Tave myliu
    Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
    Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
    Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
    Marathi - Me tula prem karto
    Mohawk - Kanbhik
    Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
    Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
    Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
    Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
    Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
    Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
    Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
    Persian - Doo-set daaram
    Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
    Polish - Kocham Ciebie
    Portuguese - Eu te amo
    Romanian - Te ubesk
    Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
    Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
    Serbian - Volim te
    Setswana - Ke a go rata
    Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
    Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
    Sioux - Techihhila
    Slovak - Lu`bim ta
    Slovenian - Ljubim te
    Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
    Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
    Swedish - Jag alskar dig
    Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
    Tagalog - Mahal kita
    Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
    Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
    Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
    Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
    Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
    Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
    Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
    Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
    Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
    Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
    Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
    Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu
    Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
    Yoruba - Mo ni fe

    Comments

    If I could be a letter

    I would like to be a "Q"

    As letters go, it doesn't seem "Q's"

    Have all that much to do.

    Mostly they get used in words

    For doctors and for ducks

    Which may well be the only times

    That "Q's" get any yucks

    "Q's" are never all alone

    In anything they do

    Because every place you find a "Q"

    It's followed by a "U"

    But privacy is something

    I have never been too keen on

    I'd rather know

    When I feel low

    That I got "U" to lean on.

    "Q" and "U" - Together forever!

    Comments


    Shakespeare:
    if you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    If she ever comes back, she's yours,
    If she doesn't, here's the poison, suicide
    yourself for her.


    Optimist:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    Don't worry, she will come back.


    Suspicious:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    If she ever comes back, ask her why.


    Impatient:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    If she doesn't comes back within some time forget
    her.


    Patient:
    IF you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until
    she comes back.


    Playful:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    *If she comes back, and if you love her still,
    set her free again, repeat*


    C++ Programmer:
    if(you-love(m_she))
    m_she.free()
    if(m_she == NULL)
    m_she= new CShe;


    Lawyers:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free,
    Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the
    Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that....


    Bill Gates:
    If you love someone,Set her free,
    If she comes back, I think we can charge her for
    re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.


    Biologist:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free, She'll evolve.


    Statisticians:
    If you love someone, Set her free,
    If she loves you, the probability of her coming
    back is high If she doesn't, the Weibull
    distribution and your relation was improbable anyway.


    Salesman:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    If she ever comes back, deal!
    If she doesn't, so what! "NEXT".


    Schwarzenegger's fans:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free,
    SHE'LL BE BACK!


    Insurance agent:
    If you love someone,
    Show her the plan ....
    If she ever comes back, sign her up,
    If she doesn't, keep follow up with her and never give up!


    Physician:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    If she ever comes back, it's the law of gravity,
    If she doesn't, either there's friction higher than the force or the angle
    of collision between two objects did not synchronize at the right angle.


    Mathematician:
    If you love someone,
    Set her free ....
    If she ever comes back, 1 + 1 = 2 (peanut!),
    If she doesn't, Y = 2X - log(0.46Y^2 + (cos(52/34X)) x 5Y^(-0.5)c) where c
    is the infinite constant of no turning point.



    Nowadays' style:
    If You Love Someone,
    Set it free,
    If It Comes Back, It is Yours
    If It Doesn't, Hunt it Down and Kill It...!!! OR
    PERHAPS REPORT TO IMMIGRATION THAT SHE/HE IS AN ILLEGAL



    If you love someone
    WHY IN THE FIRST PLACE SET HER FREE???
    CARELESS IDIOT!!!


    Comments

    Attorney's Advice... and it's free! Read this and make a copy for
    yourfiles in case you need to refer to it someday. Maybe we should all
    take
    some of his advice!



    The next time you order checks have only your initials (instead of
    first
    name) and last name put on them.

    If someone takes your check book they will not know if you sign your
    checks
    with just your initials or your first name but your bank will know how
    you
    sign your checks.

    When you are writing checks to pay on your credit card accounts, DO NOT
    put
    the complete account number on the "For" line. Instead, just put the
    last
    four numbers. The credit card company knows the rest of the number and
    anyone who might be handling your check as it passes through all the
    check
    processing channels won't have access to it.

    Put your work phone # o! n your checks instead of your home phone. If
    you
    have a PO Box use that instead of your home address. Never have your
    SS#
    printed on your checks (DUH!) you can add it if it is necessary. But if
    you
    have it printed, anyone can get it.

    Place the contents of your wallet on a photocopy machine, do both sides
    of
    each license, credit card, etc. You will know what you had in your
    wallet
    and all of the account numbers and phone numbers to call and cancel.

    Keep the photocopy in a safe place. I also carry a photocopy of my
    passport
    when I travel either here or abroad.

    We've all heard horror stories about fraud that's committed on us in
    stealing a name, address, Social Security number, credit cards, etc.

    Unfortunately I, an attorney, have firsthand knowledge because my
    wallet
    was stolen last month. Within a week, the thieve(s) ordered an
    expensive
    monthly cell phone package, applied for a VISA credit card, had a
    credit
    line approved to buy a Gateway computer, received a PIN number from D
    MV
    to
    change my driving record information online, and more.

    But here's some critical information to limit the damage in case this
    happens to you or someone you know:

    We have been told we should cancel our credit cards immediately. But
    the
    key is having the toll free numbers and your card numbers handy so you
    know
    whom to call. Keep those where you can find them easily.

    File a police report immediately in the jurisdiction where it was
    stolen,
    this proves to credit providers you were diligent, and is a first step
    toward an investigation (if there ever is one).

    But here's what is perhaps most important: (I never even thought to do
    this).

    Call the three national credit reporting organizations immediately to
    place
    a fraud alert on your name and Social Security number. I had never
    heard
    of
    doing that until advised by a bank that called to tell me an
    application
    for credit was made over the Internet in my! name.

    The alert means any company that checks your credit knows your
    information
    was stolen and they have to contact you by phone to authorize new
    credit.

    By the time I was advised to do this, almost two weeks after the theft,
    all
    the damage had been done.

    There are records of all the credit checks initiated by the thieves'
    purchases, none of which I knew about before placing the alert. Since
    then,
    no additional damage has been done, and the thieves threw my wallet
    away
    this weekend (someone turned it in). It seems to have stopped them in
    their
    tracks.

    The numbers are:

    Equifax: 1-800-525-6285

    Experian (formerly TRW): 1-888-397-3742

    Trans Union: 1-800-680-7289

    Social Security Administration (fraud line): 1-800-269-0271

    We pass along jokes on the Internet; we pass along just about
    everything.
    Pass this information along. It could really help someone you care
    about

    Comments

    The best way to achieve inner peace is to "Finish Things You Have Started."

    So today I finished:
    two opened bags of potato chips,
    the last half of a lemon cream pie,
    half a bottle of Jose Cuervo,
    a small box of Godiva Chocolates,
    and slapped the living shit out of someone I have never liked.
    I feel better than I have felt for a long time.


    Comments

    I dreamed I had an interview with God.
    "So, you would like to interview me?" God asked.
    "If you have the time," I said.
    God smiled. "My time is eternity; what questions do
    you have in mind to ask
    me?"

    "What surprises you most about humankind?"
    God answered: "That they get bored with childhood --
    they rush to grow up
    and then long to be children again.
    That they lose their health to make money and then
    lose their money to
    restore their health.

    That by thinking anxiously about the future, they
    forget the present,
    such that they live neither the present nor the
    future.
    That they live as if they will never die, and they die
    as if they had never
    lived..."

    God's hands took mine and we were silent for while and
    then I asked...
    "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want
    your children to
    learn?"

    God replied with a smile: "To learn that they cannot
    make anyone love
    them. What they can do is to let themselves be loved.
    To learn that what is most valuable is not what they
    have in their
    lives, but who they have in their lives.

    To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to
    others.
    To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the
    most, but is one
    who needs the least.

    To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open
    profound wounds in
    persons one loves, and that it may take many years to
    heal them.
    To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
    To learn that there are persons who love them dearly,
    but simply do not
    know how to express or show their feelings.

    To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.
    To learn that two people can look at the same thing
    and see it very
    differently.

    To learn that it is not always enough that they be
    forgiven by others,
    but that they must also forgive themselves.

    And to learn that I am here -- always."



    ---------------------

    INTERVIEW WITH GOD



    "Come in," God said.

    "So, you would like to interview Me?"

    "If you have the time," I said.

    God smiled and said:

    "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything;

    what questions do you have in mind to ask me?"

    "What surprises you most about mankind?"

    God answered:

    "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up,

    and then long to be children again.

    That they lose their health to make money

    and then lose their money to restore their health.

    That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present,

    such that they live neither for the present nor the future.

    That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived ..."

    God's hands took mine and we were silent for a while and then I asked . . .

    "As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"

    God replied with a smile:

    "To learn that they cannot make anyone love them.

    What they can do is to let themselves be loved.

    To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives,

    but who they have in their lives.

    To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.

    All will be judged individually on their own merits,

    not as a group on a comparison basis!

    To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most,

    but is one who needs the least.

    To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them.

    To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.

    To learn that there are persons that love them dearly,

    but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.

    To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.

    To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally different.

    To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them . . .

    and likes them anyway.

    To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others,

    but that they have to forgive themselves."

    I sat there for awhile enjoying the moment.

    I thanked Him for his time and for all that He has done for me and my family,

    and He replied,

    "Anytime. I'm here 24 hours a day.

    All you have to do is ask for me, and I'll answer."

    People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did,

    but people will never forget how you made them feel.


    Comments

    >
    > A true story from the Japanese Embassy in US:
    >
    > Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English
    > conversation training before he visits Washington
    > and meets with President Bill Clinton.
    > The instructor told Mori " Prime Minister, when you
    > shake hand with President Clinton, please say
    > 'how are you'. Then Mr Clinton should say
    > "I am fine, and you ?" Now you should say 'me too'.
    > Afterwards we translators will do all the work for you."
    >
    > It looks quite simple, but the truth is ................
    >
    > When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You ?".
    > Mr Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react
    > with humor : "Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha ha..."
    > Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, ha ha ha.."
    > Then there was a long silent moment in the meeting room.
    >
    >

    Comments

    Khatami - Truth
    Comments

    Reflections On The Nature Of Love

    "Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is
    pretty good too."
    -Greg, age 8

    What Is The Proper Age To Get Married?

    "Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work
    anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in
    your bedroom."
    -Judy, age 8

    "Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!"
    -Tom, age 5

    What Do Most People Do On A Date?

    "On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that
    usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."
    -Mike, age 10

    When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?

    "You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to
    buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have
    videos of the wedding."
    -Jim, age 10

    "Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing
    thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be
    willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few
    hours."
    -Kally, age 9

    The Great Debate: Is It Better To Be Single Or Married?

    "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
    somebody to clean up after them!"
    -Lynette, age 9

    "It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a
    kid. I don't need that kind of trouble."
    -Kenny, age 7

    Concerning Why Love Happens Between Two Particular People

    "No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to
    do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so
    popular."
    -Jan, age 9

    "I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or
    something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful."
    -Harlen, age 8

    "One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else
    who has freckles too."
    -Andrew, age 6

    On What Falling In Love Is Like

    "Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life."
    -Roger, age 9

    "If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I
    don't want to do it. It takes too long."
    -Leo, age 7

    On The Role Of Good Looks In Love

    "If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your
    family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful."
    -Jeanne, age 8

    "It isn't always just how you look. Look at me. I'm handsome
    like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet."
    -Gary, age 7

    "Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long
    time."
    -Christine, age 9

    Concerning Why Lovers Often Hold Hands

    "They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they
    paid good money for them."
    -Dave, age 8

    "They are just practicing for when they might have to walk down
    the aisle someday and do the holy matchimony thing."
    -John, age 9

    Confidential Opinions About Love

    "I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when 'The
    Simpsons' is on television."
    -Anita, age 6

    "Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I
    have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the
    girls keep finding me."
    -Bobby, age 8

    "I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade
    hard enough."
    -Regina, age 10

    "Love is foolish ... but I still might try it sometime."
    -Floyd, age 9

    The Personal Qualities Necessary To Be A Good Lover

    "One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if
    you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of
    bills."
    -Ava, age 8

    "Sensitivity don't hurt."
    -Robbie, age 8

    Some Surefire Ways To Make A Person Fall In Love With You

    "Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores."
    -Del, age 6

    "Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might
    get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love."
    -Alonzo, age 9

    "One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's
    something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me."
    -Bart, age 9

    "Yell out that you love them at the top of your lungs...and
    don't worry if their parents are right there."
    -Manuel, age 8

    How Can You Tell If Two Adults Eating Dinner At A Restaurant Are
    In Love?

    "Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can
    tell if he's in love."
    -John, age 9

    "Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will
    get cold. Other people care more about the food."
    -Brad, age 8

    "It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on
    fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their
    hearts are... on fire."
    -Christine, age 9

    "Romantic adults usually are all dressed up, so if they are
    just wearing jeans it might mean they used to go out or they
    just broke up."
    -Sarah, age 9

    "See if the man has lipstick on his face."
    -Sandra, age 7

    What Most People Are Thinking When They Say "I Love You"

    "The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope
    he showers at least once a day."
    -Michelle, age 9

    "Some lovers might be real nervous, so they are glad that they
    finally got it out and said it and now they can go eat."
    -Dick, age 7

    How Do People In Love Typically Behave?

    "Mooshy... like puppy dogs... except puppy dogs don't wag their
    tails nearly as much."
    -Arnold, age 10

    "All of a sudden, the people get movie fever so they can sit
    together in the dark."
    -Sherm, age 8

    How A Person Learns To Kiss

    "You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get
    the best of you."
    -Doug, age 7

    "It might help to watch soap operas all day."
    -Carin, age 9

    "You can have a big rehearsal with your Barbie and Ken dolls."
    -Julia, age 7

    How Was Kissing Invented?

    "I know one reason that kissing was created. It makes you feel
    warm all over, and they didn't always have electric heat or
    fireplaces or even stoves in their houses."
    -Gina, age 8

    When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?

    "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over
    you... That's why I stopped doing it."
    -Jean, age 10

    "When they're rich."
    -Pam, age 7

    "If it's your mother, you can kiss her anytime. But if it's a
    new person, you have to ask permission."
    -Roger, age 6

    How To Make Love Endure

    "Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work."
    -Tom, age 7

    "Don't forget your wife's name... That will mess up the love."
    -Roger, age 8

    "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you
    never take out the trash."
    -Randy, age 8

    "Don't say you love somebody and then change your mind... Love
    isn't like picking what movie you want to watch."
    -Natalie, age 9

    Titles Of The Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Beloved

    "'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?'"
    -Arnold, age 10

    "'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'"
    -Larry, age 8

    "'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'"
    -Eddie, age 6

    "'I Am in Love with You Most of the Time, but Don't Bother Me
    When I'm with My Friends.'"
    -Bob, age 9

    "'Hey, Baby, I Don't like Girls but I'm Willing to Forget You
    Are One!'"
    -Will, age 7
    Comments

    This chain letter is real so follow the instructions
    and something good will happen!!

    LISTEN TO THIS LETTER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!

    Sorry, but this chain letter is for real. When Anne Wichert
    got it for the first time, she ignored it and a week later the love of
    her life
    dumped her for no good reason so BEWARE, and just send the stupid
    letter!!!!!!

    The Lovers of the Heart
    In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the
    mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.


    Article 1: Statement of Love: The Kiss

    1. Kiss on the hand.... I adore you
    2. Kiss on the cheek... I just want to be friends
    3. Kiss on the neck... I want you
    4. Kiss on the lips... I love you
    5. Kiss on the ears... I am just playing
    6. Kiss anywhere else ... lets not get carried away
    7. Look in your eyes ... kiss me
    8. Playing with your hair... I can't live without you
    9. Hand on your waist... I love you to much to let you go

    Article 2: The Three Steps
    1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him
    2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good
    3.Guys & Girls:Close your eyes when kissing,it is rude to stare

    Article 3: The Commandments
    1.Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
    2.Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.
    3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.


    **Remember**
    A peach is a peach
    A plum is a plum,
    A kiss isn't a kiss without
    some tongue so open
    up your mouth
    close your eyes,
    and give your tongue
    some exercise!!!

    AND GIRLS, THIS IS IMPORTANT.... NEVER EVER EVER MAKE OUT WITH UR BEST FRIENDS CRUSH!!! NO GUY IS WORTH UR FRIENDSHIP.. AND I ADVISE U NOT TO DO IT INFRONT OF HER EITHER... BIG BIG MISTAKE!!!

    ~*~WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls~*~
    1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
    2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
    3. How cute they look when they sleep
    4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
    5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the
    world
    6. How cute they are when they eat
    7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all

    worth while
    8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
    9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
    10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you
    think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
    11. How cute they are when they argue
    12. The way her hand always finds yours
    13. The way they smile
    14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you
    just had a big fight
    15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that
    an hour later....
    16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
    17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
    18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
    19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
    20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
    21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
    22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt.
    (even though we don't admit it)!
    23. The way they say "I miss you"
    24. The way you miss them
    25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it
    doesn't hurt her anymore.....Yet regardless if you love them, hate
    them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ...it
    matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world
    they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling
    to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace
    of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within
    the
    rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million
    reasons,
    No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the
    heart. A feeling. Only felt.

    This chain started in 1887. It is a love chain letter. In an hour you
    are
    supposed to send it to 25 people. It is easy, just look into
    chat rooms and find them. Anyway, send it to 25 people in 1 hour. Now
    here comes the fun part. You then say the name of the person you like or
    love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with
    me?"
    NO JOKE!!!!!

    NOW THE CONSEQUENCES.....
    The consequences are: If you break the chain letter, you will have bad
    luck in future relationships. If you don't break the chain, then you
    will
    be a happy camper!!! CoNgRatULaTioNs!! You have been chosen to
    participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the
    Internet!
    Once read, this letter must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) be
    sent
    to 25 people. After you send it, make a wish and it will come true!!!!!

    YOU MAY NOT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME TO SEND IT........ REMEMBER, IT MUST
    BE SENT TO 25 PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR, OR YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME TRUE! If
    THIS CHAIN LETTER IS CONTINUED UNTIL THE YEAR 2001, IT WILL BE PLACED IN
    THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!


    PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!
    *WARNING* IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON, SOMETHING
    BAD OR WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU:

    NOTE* THE MORE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO THE MORE LUCK YOUWILL HAVE
    IN YOUR LOVE LIFE. IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN
    LETTER (IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1887)
    YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR SEVEN YEARS. THIS IS NO
    JOKE. GOOD LUCK!


    Comments

    >If you lick your envelopes...You won't anymore!
    > > >
    > > >A woman was working in a post office in California, one day she
    > > >licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a
    > > >sponge. That very day the lady cut her tongue on the envelope.
    > > >A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She
    > > >went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was
    > > >not sore or anything.
    > > >A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and
    > > >it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She
    > > >went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done.
    > > >The doctor, took an x-ray of her tongue, and noticed a lump. He
    > > >prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue
    > > >open, a live roach crawled out. There were roach eggs on the seal
    > > >of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue,
    > > >because of her saliva. It was warm and moist...
    > > >
    > > >This is a true story reported on CNN !
    > > >Andy Hume wrote:
    > > >Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn't believe
    > > >the.....things that float around in those gum applicator trays.
    > > >haven't licked an envelope for years.
    Comments

    Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
    Life is beauty, admire it.
    Life is bliss, taste it.
    Life is a dream, realize it.
    Life is a challenge, meet it.
    Life is a duty, complete it.
    Life is a game, play it.
    Life is a promise, fulfill it.
    Life is sorrow, overcome it.
    Life is a song, sing it.
    Life is a struggle, accept it.
    Life is a tragedy, confront it.
    Life is an adventure, dare it.
    Life is luck, make it.
    Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
    Life is life, fight for it.



    ---Mother Teresa

    Comments

    Life Stages - Truth
    Comments

    If your father is a poor man,
    it is your fate but,
    if your father-in-law is a poor man,
    it's your stupidity.
    .........................................................................

    I was born intelligent -
    education ruined me.
    .........................................................................

    Practice makes perfect.....
    But nobody's perfect......
    so why practice?
    .........................................................................

    If it's true that we are here to help others,
    then what exactly are the others here for?
    .........................................................................

    Since light travels faster than sound,
    people appear bright until you hear them speak.
    .........................................................................

    How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?
    .........................................................................

    Money is not everything.
    There's Mastercard & Visa.
    .........................................................................

    One should love animals.
    They are so tasty.
    .........................................................................

    Behind every successful man, there is a woman
    And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
    .........................................................................

    Every man should marry.
    After all, happiness is not the only thing in
    life.
    .........................................................................

    The wise never marry.
    and when they marry they become otherwise.
    .........................................................................

    Success is a relative term.
    It brings so many relatives.
    .........................................................................

    Never put off the work till tomorrow
    what you can put off today.
    .........................................................................

    "Your future depends on your dreams"
    So go to sleep
    .........................................................................

    There should be a better way to start a day
    Than waking up every morning
    .........................................................................

    "Hard work never killed anybody"
    But why take the risk
    .........................................................................

    "Work fascinates me"
    I can look at it for hours
    .........................................................................

    God made relatives;
    Thank God we can choose our friends.
    .........................................................................

    The more you learn, the more you know,
    The more you know, the more you forget
    The more you forget, the less you know
    So.. why learn.

    .........................................................................
    A bus station is where a bus stops.
    A train station is where a train stops.
    On my desk, I have a work station....
    what more can I say........

    Comments

    Whether or not you believe in good luck thing... the numbered points are
    good advice that each of us should remember and are worth sharing so I am!

    Best to all.
    This Lotus Totus has been sent to you for good luck from the Anthony
    Robbins Organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so far.

    You will receive good luck within four days of relaying this Lotus Totus.

    Do not keep this message. The Lotus Totus must leave your hands in 6
    MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true,
    even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.

    ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

    TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their
    conversational skills will be as important as any other.

    THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you
    want.

    FOUR. When you say, "I love you", mean it.

    FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.

    SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

    SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

    EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't
    have much.

    NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only
    way to live life completely.

    TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

    ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

    TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

    THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile
    and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

    FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great
    risk.

    FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

    SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

    SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others;
    and Responsibility for all your actions.

    EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

    NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to
    correct it.

    TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your
    voice.

    TWENTY ONE. Spend some time alone.

    Comments

    Love Chart - Truth
    Comments

    This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's

    father does not like him and want them to stop their

    relationship...... and so.. The boy wrote this letter to the girl..

    he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..


    1 "The great love that I have for you

    2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you

    3 grows every day. When I see you,

    4 I do not even like your face;

    5 the one thing that I want to do is to

    6 look at other girls. I never wanted to

    7 marry you. Our last conversation

    8 was very boring and has not

    9 made me look forward to seeing you again.

    10 You think only of yourself.

    11 If we were married, I know that I would find

    12 life very difficult, and I would have no

    13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart

    14 to give, but it is not something that

    15 I want to give to you. No one is more

    16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not

    17 able to care for me and help me.

    18 I sincerely want you to understand that

    19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor

    20 if you think this is the end. Do not try

    21 to answer this. Your letters are full of

    22 things that do not interest me. You have no

    23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,

    24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that

    25 I am still your boyfriend."


    So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read

    1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.'s) go read it once again but the Odd Number lines..

    Comments

    A YEAR AGO today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him.
    "Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"
    He raised his eyebrow.
    "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone."

    "Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his
    tone.
    "I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."
    "E-card??"
    That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is.
    "You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and ran
    to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't use any
    romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.

    "I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!"
    As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and got online.
    Staring at the empty inbox, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no
    one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our
    homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with
    each other all day long. We were only neighbors. At that time, I hated my
    parents for making us live next to him.

    At that time, I had a crush on a senior. After a while, I found out that the
    senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently
    passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms.

    "I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me.
    I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different
    way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he
    started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster
    when he was near.

    We both knew: we fell in love with each other.

    Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would
    not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared
    about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.

    Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other. We
    didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with
    a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door
    and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then
    on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his
    request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together. On the
    surface, we may have left each other. But in reality, we were still
    together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more
    dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my
    hints.

    Still facing the empty inbox, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it
    and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I
    called his cell phone.

    "Hello." He picked up the phone.

    "I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure.

    "You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy.
    "But I sent it." He was really busy but I didn't care.

    "I didn't receive it. Send it again."

    "Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with
    impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to
    each other?

    "Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.
    I'll eat dinner by myself."

    "Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."

    "I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.

    Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many
    years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any
    flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too
    much to ask for?? I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell
    phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations.

    After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to
    forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work. Because there
    were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about
    our argument.

    "Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."
    As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded
    outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly
    wheeled in a gurney.

    "What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic.
    Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was
    covered with blood.

    "Car accident." The medic replied.
    "Very serious. He may die." I nodded and ran to the operating room with
    them.
    When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped
    breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped.

    "Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses.
    Saving people is our duty. We can't and shouldn't lose our calm.

    But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person
    was my BOYFRIEND!

    "NO..." I stood in shock.

    "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously shocked his body.
    His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared nurses went to find
    another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.

    I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my lover. Even
    though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love. I
    still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die! I threw
    away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my
    strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even
    say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with
    his silence.

    Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly
    anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my
    mouth.

    "It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me
    on the shoulder.
    They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced them.

    "He can't die." I shook my head.
    "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.
    "Dr. SHU, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me.
    "I understand what you're going through, but you're a doctor."

    "Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian
    understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a
    habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card.

    "I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to
    knock the life back into his body.

    "Take her away!"
    That day, I lost my control and my professionalism. And that day happened to
    be Valentine's Day.

    Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day. They
    told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several times
    but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me and got
    hit by a large truck on the way.

    When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an
    unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish. Like
    an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore.

    After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot
    or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore.

    I turned on computer after a year later, even though I know no one will send
    me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day.

    GOSH....I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100
    junk mail? I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail,
    and this one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until
    today. We apologize for the delay."

    The sender was my BOYFRIEND!!! I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send
    date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he
    have sent these? With a trembling hand, I opened the mail.

    The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green
    leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to play...."Only Love". I couldn't
    believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy.

    I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most touching of all were the words
    underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful poem.

    "Only love can make a memory. Only love can make a moment last.
    You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung.
    And I remember you then when love was all, all you were living for,
    and how you gave that love to me...."

    The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my
    world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight
    with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and
    coldness that will never go away. When I read these words, my tears
    unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard. I replied 100 times, and "Only
    Love" played 100 times.

    In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for LAST ONE
    YEAR finally got RECONNECTED.

    Moral of the story :
    ====================
    Try to express out your feeling towards each other so that both know what u
    are thinking!! ;)

    Comments

    It took them 606 takes:

    http://home.attbi.com/~bernhard36/honda-ad.html

    Here is a news story on the making of (watch the commercial before
    you read the article):

    ----



    Lights! Camera! Retake!

    (Filed: April 13, 2003)



    The Honda Accord campaign launched last week looks certain to become
    an advertising legend. Quentin Letts goes behind the scenes.



    Six hundred and six takes it took, and if they had been forced to do
    a 607th it is probable, if not downright certain, that one of the
    film crew would have snapped and gone mad.



    On the first 605 occasions something small, usually infuriatingly
    minute, went just slightly awry and the whole delicate arrangement
    was wrecked. A drop too much oil there, or here maybe one
    ball-bearing too many giving a fraction too much impetus to the
    movement. Whirr, creak, crash, the entire, card-house of
    consequences
    was a write-off and they had to start again.



    Honda's latest television advertisement, a two-minute film called
    "Cog", is like a fine-lubricated line of dominoes. It begins with a
    transmission bearing which rolls into a synchro hub which in turn
    rolls into a gear wheel cog and plummets off a table on to a
    camshaft
    and pulley wheel. All the parts are from the new Honda Accord -
    16,495 to you, guv'nor, or 6 million if you want to pay for the
    advertising campaign. And what an amazing ad campaign it is, too.



    Back on Cog, things are still moving, in a what-happened-next manner
    redolent of "there was an old woman who swallowed a fly". With a
    ting
    and a ding of metal on metal, a thud of contact and the occasional
    thwock, plop and extended scraping sound, the viewer watches as
    individual, stripped-down parts of car roll into one another and set
    off more reactions.



    Three valve stems roll down a sloped bonnet. An exhaust box is
    pushed
    with just enough energy into a rear suspension link which nudges a
    transmission selector arm which releases the brake pedal loaded with
    a small rubber brake grommit. Catapult! Boing! On goes the beautiful
    dance, everything intricately balanced and poised. Nothing must be
    even a sixteenth of an inch off course or the momentum will be lost.



    At one point three tires, amazingly, roll uphill. They do so because
    inside they have been weighted with bolts and screws which have been
    positioned with fingertip care so that the slightest kiss of kinetic
    energy pushes them over, onward and, yes, upward. During the
    pre-shoot set-ups, film assistants had to tiptoe round the set so as
    not to disturb the feather-sensitive superstructure of the arranged
    metalwork. The slightest tremor of an ill-judged hand could have
    undone hours of work.



    Utter silence, a check that the lighting is just right, and
    "action!". Scores of grown men hold their breath as the cameras
    roll.
    An oil can is tipped and glugs just enough of its contents on to a
    shelf that has been weighted with a Honda flywheel. Some valve
    springs roll into the oil and are slowed to a pace perfect to make
    them drop into a cylinder head assembly.



    If all these technical names are confusing, that is partly the
    point.
    The advertisement was designed to show motorists all the fiddly
    little bits of engineering that go into the modern Honda. The
    result,
    in this film at least, is something approaching mechanical
    perfection
    and a bewitching aesthetic. As car adverts go, it certainly beats
    the
    "Nicole! Papa!" school of commercial.



    If nothing else, Cog is a welcome departure from the generality of
    car advertisements that feature winding-road landscapes, empty
    highways and clear blue skies. The absence of people from the
    commercial at least saved Honda having to make any regional
    alterations.



    It will be able to be shown everywhere from Japan to South America,
    Finland to the Maldives, without any more alteration than perhaps a
    change of the closing voiceover, currently delivered by laid-back
    Garrison Keillor, the American author, who announces: "Isn't it nice
    when things just work?"



    Cog looks certain to become an advertising legend and part of its
    allure is the seemingly effortless way the relay of parts slide and
    touch and roll with such apparent ease. The reality of the film's
    production was slightly different. It was, by most measures of human
    patience, a nightmare.



    Filming was done over four near-sleepless days in a Paris studio,
    after one month of script approval, two months of concept drawings
    and a further four months of development and testing. One of the
    more
    surprising things about the ad is that it was not a cheat. Although
    it would have been much easier to fiddle the chain of events by
    using
    computer graphics, the seesaw and shunt of events really did
    happen,
    and in one, clean take.



    The bigshots at Honda's world headquarters in Japan, when shown Cog
    for the first time, replied that yes, it was very clever, and how
    impressive trick photography was these days. When told that it was
    all real, they were astonished.



    One of the more striking moments in the film is when a lone
    windscreen wiper blade helicopters through the air, suspended from a
    line of metal twine. "That was the first and last time it worked
    properly," recalls Tony Davidson, of the London-based advertising
    agency Wieden & Kennedy. "I wanted it to look like ballet."



    After that, a few yards and several ingenious connections down the
    assembly line, another pair of windscreen wiper blades is squirted
    by
    an activated washer jet. Because Honda wipers have automatic sensors
    that can detect water, they start a crablike crawl across the floor.
    It is as though they have come to life.



    As take 300 led to 400 which led to 500, a certain madness settled
    on
    the crew. Rob Steiner, the agency producer, started talking about
    "our friends, the parts", but in the slightly menacing tone of a
    primary school teacher discussing her charges at the end of a trying
    day. Some workers on the film went whole days without sleep and had
    to be asked to stay away from the more delicate parts of the
    assembly. Others started to have bad dreams about throttle activator
    shafts and bonnet release cables.



    When things were going wrong - a tire that kept trundling off to the
    left, or a rocker shaft that kept toppling over like a tipsy cyclist
    - the production lads on the shoot would start grumbling that "the
    parts are being very moody today".



    Commercial makers are often accustomed to working with human prima
    donnas but no Hollywood starlet, no basketball prodigy or showbiz
    celeb, was ever as troublesome and unpredictable as the con rods and
    pulley wheels and solenoids that Davidson, Steiner and Co had to
    work
    with.



    Towards the end of the production, Olivier Coulhon, the first
    assistant director, had spent so many hours in the darkened studio
    that his skin had turned a luminous green and his eyes had sunk deep
    into his Gallic cheeks.



    Antoine Bardou-Jacquet, the commercial's director, kept puffing out
    his cheeks and whinnying, a note of deranged despair twitching at
    the
    corners of his mouth. Asked how long he had been working on the
    commercial, he gave a high-pitched giggle and replied: "Five years?
    Or is it eight?" It felt that long.



    Two hand-made pre-production Accords - there were only six in
    existence in the entire world - were needed for the exercise, one of
    them being ripped apart and cannibalized to the considerable
    distress
    of Honda engineers. By the end of the months-long production, the
    film had used so many spare parts that two articulated lorries were
    required to take them away.



    The idea for the advert derived partly from the old children's game
    Mouse Trap, and from the wacky engineering of Caractacus Potts's
    breakfast-making machine in the Sixties film Chitty Chitty Bang
    Bang.
    The corporate suits at Honda liked the idea immediately, despite the
    high costs of production and the fact that it was more than twice as
    long, and therefore twice as pricey, as normal car ads.



    The two-minute version of the ad ran for the first time last Sunday
    during the Brazilian Grand Prix, and brought bar patrons across the
    nation to a wide-eyed speechlessness after the Manchester United v
    Real Madrid game on Tuesday night.



    "It was a painstaking process, a tough experience," says Honda's
    communications manager Matt Coombe, recalling the making of Cog.
    Some
    of the original ideas, such as one stunt involving an airbag, had to
    be dropped owing to a shortage of new Accord parts or simply because
    they were too hard to set up. And on some takes the process would go
    perfectly until agonizingly close to the end.



    "It was like watching a brilliant soccer player weaving his way the
    whole way through a defending team's players, and then shooting wide
    right at the end," says Tony Davidson. The crew resorted to placing
    bets on which part of the sequence would go wrong. Invariably it was
    the windscreen wipers.



    When the final, 606th take eventually succeeded, there was a stunned
    silence around the Paris studio. Then, like shipwrecked mariners
    finally realizing that their ordeal was at an end, the team broke
    into a careworn chorus of increasingly defiant cheers and hurrahs.
    Champagne bottles popped. The cylinder liner had brushed its nose
    affectionately against the rocker shaft and the gear wheel cog for
    the last time. The interior grab handles and the suspension spring
    coils had done their bit. A classic was complete. Cog was in the
    can.

    Comments

    Meaning of Hello - Truth
    Comments

    MEMO FROM GOD


    To: YOU
    Date: TODAY
    From: THE BOSS
    Subject: YOURSELF
    Reference: LIFE


    I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not
    need your help.


    If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to
    resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. All situations will
    be resolved, but in My time, not yours.






    Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it.
    Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.





    If you find yourself stuck in traffic; Don't despair. There are people in this world for
    whom driving is an unheard of privilege.






    Should you have a bad day at work; Think of the man who has been out of work for years.






    Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; Think of the person who has never known
    what it's like to love and be loved in return.






    Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; Think of the woman in dire straits,
    working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.






    Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; Think of the
    paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.






    Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; Think of the cancer patient in chemo who
    wishes she had hair to examine.






    Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is
    my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the
    opportunity.






    Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or
    insecurities; Remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

    Comments

    When 8 year old Tess heard her Mom and Dad
    talking about her little brother, Andrew, she
    realized that he was very sick and that they
    did not have enough money for his treatment.
    Tess heard Daddy say, "Only a miracle can save
    him now."
    Tess went to her bedroom and retrieved a jar
    from its hiding place. There was some change
    in it.She counted the change. She made her way
    to the Drug store but the pharmacist was busy
    talking to his brother from Chicago.
    "Annoyed at her persistence,he asked, "What do
    you want?" Tess replied, "My brother is very sick...
    and I want to buy a miracle.His name is Andrew
    and he has something bad growing inside his head
    and my daddy says that only a miracle can save
    him. So much does a miracle cost?"
    The pharmacist's brother, a well-dressed man,
    stooped down and asked the little girl, "What
    kind of a miracle does your brother need?"
    "Don't know," replied Tess, eyes welling up. "I
    know he is really sick and mommy says he needs
    an operation. But my daddy can't pay for it, so
    I want to use my money"
    "How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago.
    "One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely
    audibly." Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man.
    "A dollar and eleven cents-the exact price of a
    miracle for your little brother." He took her money
    in one hand and with the other, he grasped Tedd's hand
    and said" Take me to where you live. I want to see
    your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I
    have the kind of miracle you need."
    That well-dressed man was Carlton Armstrong, a neuro-
    surgeon. The operation was completed without charge
    and it wasn't long until Andrew was home again and
    doing well.
    "I wonder how much the surgery cost" thought the
    mother, aloud. Tess smiled to herself. She knew exactly
    how much a miracle cost: One dollar and eleven cents...
    plus the faith of a little child.
    Comments

    Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions


    Author Unknown

    When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are
    going
    to take over my yard.
    My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff you can wish on.




    When I look at an old drunk and he smiles at me, I see a smelly, dirty
    person who probably wants money and I look away.
    My kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back.




    When I hear music I love, I know I can't carry a tune and don't have much
    rhythm so I sit self-consciously and listen.
    My kids feel the beat and move to it. They sing out the words. If they
    don't
    know them, they make up their own.




    When I feel wind on my face, I brace myself against it. I feel it messing
    up
    my hair and pulling me back when I walk.
    My kids close their eyes, spread their arms and fly with it, until they
    fall
    to the ground laugh! ing.




    When I pray, I say thee and thou and grant me this, give me that.
    My kids say, "Hi God! Thanks for my toys and my friends. Please keep the
    bad
    dreams away tonight. Sorry, I don't want to go to Heaven yet. I would miss
    my Mommy and Daddy."




    When I see a mud puddle I step around it. I see muddy shoes and dirty
    carpets.

    My kids sit in it. They see dams to build, rivers to cross, and worms to
    play with.



    I wonder if we are given kids to teach or to learn from? No wonder God
    loves
    the little children!
    Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize
    they were the big things.

    I wish you Big Mud Puddles and Sunny Yellow Dandelions!!!

    Comments

    NASA - Truth
    Comments

    Never Have Regrets



    Think about this. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.



    1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.



    2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.



    3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.



    4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.



    5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.



    6. You mean the world to someone.



    7. You are special and unique.



    8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.



    9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.



    10. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look.



    11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.



    So...If you are a loving friend, send this to everyone, including the
    one that sent it to you. If you get it back, then they really do love
    you.

    NEVER HAVE REGRETS!!!!



    "FRIENDS ARE ANGELS WHO LIFT US TO OUR FEET

    WHEN OUR WINGS HAVE TROUBLE."

    Comments

    >> Never say I love you,
    >>If you don't really care.
    >>Never talk of feelings,
    >>If they aren't really there.
    >>Never hold my hand,
    >>If you mean to break my heart.
    >>Never say forever,
    >>If you ever plan to part.
    >>Never look into my eyes,
    >>If you're telling me a lie.
    >>Never say hello,
    >>If you plan on saying "bye"!
    >>Never say that I'm THE one,
    >>If you dream of more than me.
    >>Never lock up my heart,
    >>If you don't have the key!

    Comments

    Cigarette :
    A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the
    other.

    Divorce :
    Future tense of marriage.

    Lecture :
    An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the

    notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

    Conference :
    The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    Compromise :
    The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
    the
    biggest piece.

    Tears :
    The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
    feminine
    water power...

    Dictionary :
    A place where success comes before work.

    Conference Room :
    A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees
    later
    on.

    Classic :
    A book which people praise, but do not read.

    Smile :
    A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    Office :
    A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    Yawn :
    The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
    Comments

    1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house
    faster than an ambulance.

    2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places
    in front of a skating rink...

    3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk
    all the way to the back of the store to get their
    prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
    at the front.

    4. Only in America...do people order double cheese
    burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

    5. Only in America...do banks leave safe doors open
    and then chain the pens to the counters.

    6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands
    of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in
    the garage.

    7. Only in America..do we use answering machines to
    screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't
    miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in
    the first place.

    8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of
    ten and buns in packages of eight.

    9. Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to
    describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning
    "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures."

    10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM
    machines with Braille lettering..

    Comments

    Our Faces - Truth
    Comments

    One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be.

    They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the

    father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people can be?" the father asked.



    "Oh Yeah" said the son.



    "So what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.



    The son answered, "I saw that we have one dog and they had four."



    "We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a

    creek that has no end."



    "We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at

    night."



    "We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go

    beyond our sight."



    "We buy our food, but they grow theirs."



    "We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."



    With this the boy's father was speechless.



    Then his son added, "Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are."



    Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don't

    have.



    It is all based on one's perspective. Take joy in ALL you have, especially

    your family and friends.

    Comments

    PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE


    Dr. Phil gave this test on Oprah. Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting!

    Here's something that you may find interesting psychological profile don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate. And it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends, including the one who sent it, and let them know who you are.

    The person who sent it placed their score in the subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends.

    Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now ... not who you were in the past.

    Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.

    There are only 10 simple questions, so .... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers.

    Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you're finished, forward this to everyone you know, and also send it to the person who sent this to you.

    Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box. Ready?? Begin..


    1. When do you feel your best?

    a) in the morning
    b) during the afternoon and early evening
    c) late at night

    2. You usually walk

    a) fairly fast, with long steps
    b) fairly fast, with little steps
    c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
    d) less fast, head down
    e) very slowly

    3. When talking to people you

    a) stand with your arms folded
    b) have your hands clasped
    c) have one or both your hands on your hips
    d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
    e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

    4. When relaxing, you sit with

    a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
    b) your legs crossed
    c) your legs stretched out or straight
    d) one leg curled under you

    5. When something really amuses you, you react with

    a) a big, appreciative laugh
    b) a laugh, but not a loud one
    c) a quiet chuckle
    d) a sheepish smile

    6. When you go to a party or social gathering

    a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
    b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
    c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

    7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted; do you ...

    a) welcome the break
    b) feel extremely irritated
    c) vary between these two extremes

    8. Which of the following colours do you like most?

    a) Red or orange
    b) black
    c) yellow or light blue
    d) green
    e) dark blue or purple
    f) white
    g) brown or grey

    9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie

    a) stretched out on your back
    b) stretched out face down on your stomach
    c) on your side, slightly curled
    d) with your head on one arm
    e) with your head under the covers

    10. You often dream that you are

    a) falling
    b) fighting or struggling
    c) searching for something or somebody
    d) flying or floating
    e) you usually have dreamless sleep
    f) your dreams are always pleasant
    POINTS:

    1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6

    2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1

    3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6

    4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1

    5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2

    6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2

    7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4

    8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1

    9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1

    10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

    Now add up the total number of points.


    Interpretations on next page.



    OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care". You're seen as vain, self-centred, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

    51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

    41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the centre of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

    31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.

    21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

    UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

    Now forward this to others, and put your score in subject box.

    Comments

    Okay, first get a piece of paper and label it from 1-10. Now remember, you need to take serious thought into these questions!

    1. What is your favourite out of these three?
    a. cat
    b. bird
    c. dog

    2. What is your favourite colour?
    a. pink
    b. white
    c. black

    3. Name a person of the same sex.

    4. Name a person of the opposite sex.

    5. Do you like the mountains, or beach better?

    6. Do you like to watch the:
    a. sun rise, or
    b. the sunset?

    7.What's your favorite number from 1-10?

    8. What is your favorite plant?
    a. red rose
    b. fern
    c. a dead one

    9. What is your favourite season?
    a. Spring
    b. Winter
    c. Summer

    10. Make two wishes.
    Wish #1
    Wish #2

    Scroll Down

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    .
    .
    .
    .
    Okay, now for the results . . . . .

    1. a) cat: you love yourself the most.
    b) bird: you like hearing yourself talk.
    c) dog: you put others before yourself.

    2. a) pink: you're out-going
    b) white: you're classical
    c) black: you're living on the edge.

    3. They are your lucky star.

    4. You'll become very, very close friends with them.

    5. a) mountains: fast paced wedding.
    b) beach: slow paced wedding.

    6. a) sunrise: you're a morning person and you get more done.
    b) sun set: you are romantic and you fall in and out of crushes slowly.

    7. The number you picked is how many it will take before you find your true love.

    8. a) red rose: your life will be beautiful but sometimes thorny.
    b) fern: your life will be predictable and safe.
    c) a dead one: your one sick person!

    9. a) spring: you're hopelessly romantic.
    b) winter: you're a hugging kind of person.
    c) summer: you're a bare all kind

    10. If you send this to:
    a) 1 person, your 1st wish will come true.
    b) 5 people both of your wishes will come true
    c) 10 or more people, both wishes will come true in two days.
    Comments

    >Charm is a woman's strength, while strength is a man's charm.
    >
    >Our job is not to see through one another, but to see one another through.
    >
    >One of the most difficult thing to give away is kindness. It is usually returned.
    >
    >When we are hurt, there is no sweeter revenge than to forgive.
    >
    >Those at war with others are seldom at peace with themselves.
    >
    >For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.
    >
    >The best mirror is an old friend.
    >
    >As we advance in life, we learn the limits of our abilities.
    >
    >Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
    >
    >Chances make our parents. Choices make our friends. Because life is short it's wise to make it broad.

    "My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money." --Wendy Liebman




    Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two


    1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when
    I am with you.


    2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make
    you cry.


    3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to,
    doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

    4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
    heart.


    5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them
    knowing you can't have them.

    6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
    falling in love with your smile.


    7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the
    world.


    8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste
    their time on you.


    9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the
    right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be

    grateful.


    10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
    11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to
    do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next

    time around.


    12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try
    and know someone else and expect them to know you.


    13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them
    to.


    Comments

    * Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a
    while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually
    enjoying it.


    * Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you when he is
    in trouble again.



    * Behind every successful woman is a man who is surprised.



    * Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.



    * Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.



    * Forgive your enemies but remember their names



    * I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger
    to my father. He said he wanted more proof.



    * Some pain is physical and some is mental, but one that's both is
    dental.



    * Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's
    troublesome.

    Comments

    Listed below are excerpts from a book called "Disorder in the Court."
    Things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
    published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm and keeping

    a straight face while these exchanges were actually taking place.
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July fifteenth.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: What gear were you in at moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something you've forgotten?
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
    morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: And where was the location of the accident?
    A: Approximately milepost 499.
    Q: And where is milepost 499?
    A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
    A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
    A: After the accident?
    Q: Before the accident.
    A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights
    flashing?
    A: Yes.
    Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
    A: Yes, sir.
    Q: What did she say?
    A: What disco am I at?
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
    doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: The youngest son, the 20-year old, how old is he?
    ___________________________________________________
    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    __________________________________________________
    Q: So the date of conception of (the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?
    ________________________________________________
    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?
    _________________________________________________
    Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
    _____________________________________________
    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
    __________________________________________________
    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male or a female?
    _________________________________________________
    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice that

    I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    _______________________________________________
    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    ________________________________________________
    Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.
    _________________________________________________
    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
    _________________________________________________
    Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    _________________________________________________
    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
    autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
    A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
    somewhere.
    -----------------------------------
    Judge: "Well Sir, I have reviewed this case and I've decided to give your
    wife $775 a week".
    Husband: "That's fair, your honor. I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
    -----------------------------------------
    Q: You were not shot in the fracas?
    A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.



    LAWYER: What did the tissue samples taken from the victim's vagina show?
    WITNESS: There were traces of semen.
    LAWYER: Male semen?
    WITNESS: That's the only kind I know of.
    LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in New York?
    WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
    LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?
    WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
    LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?
    WITNESS: No.
    LAWYER: So, after the anaesthetic, when you came out of it, what did you
    observe with respect to your scalp?
    WITNESS: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
    LAWYER: It was covered?
    WITNESS: Yes. Bandaged.
    LAWYER: Then, later on, what did you see?
    WITNESS: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put
    on top of my head.
    CLERK: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
    WITNESS: "I swear by Almighty God."
    CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
    WITNESS: That's right.
    CLERK: Repeat it.
    WITNESS: "Repeat it".
    CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.
    WITNESS: What you said when?
    CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
    WITNESS: "That the evidence that I give."
    CLERK: "Shall be the truth and..."
    WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth!
    CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth and..."
    WITNESS: I'm not a scholar, you know.
    CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth
    and..."
    WITNESS: "Shall be the truth and."
    CLERK: Say: "Nothing...".
    WITNESS: Okay. (Witness remains silent.)
    CLERK: No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the truth..."
    WITNESS: Yes.
    CLERK: Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    CLERK: Well? Do so.
    WITNESS: You're confusing me.
    CLERK: Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".
    WITNESS: Okay. I understand.
    CLERK: Then say it.
    WITNESS: What?
    CLERK: "Nothing but the truth..."
    WITNESS: But I do! That's just it.
    CLERK: You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
    WITNESS: I WILL say nothing but the truth!
    CLERK: Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing", "But", "The",
    "Truth".
    WITNESS: What? You mean, like, now?
    CLERK: Yes! Now. Please. Just say those four words.
    WITNESS: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
    CLERK: Thank you.
    WITNESS: I'm just not a scholar.
    LAWYER: On the morning of July 25th, did you walk from the farmhouse down
    the footpath to the cowshed?
    WITNESS: I did.
    LAWYER: And as a result, you passed within a few yards of the duck pond?
    WITNESS: I did.
    LAWYER: And did you observe anything?
    WITNESS: I did. (Witness remains silent.)
    LAWYER: Well, could you tell the Court what you saw?
    WITNESS: I saw George.
    LAWYER: You saw George *******, the defendant in this case?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    LAWYER: Can you tell the Court what George ******* was doing?
    WITNESS: Yes. (Witness remains silent.)
    LAWYER: Well, would you kindly do so?
    WITNESS: He had his thing stuck into one of the ducks.
    LAWYER: His "thing"?
    WITNESS: You know... His thing. His di... I mean, his penis.
    LAWYER: You passed close by the duck pond, the light was good, you were
    sober, you have good eyesight, and you saw this clearly?
    WITNESS: Yes.
    LAWYER: Did you say anything to him?
    WITNESS: Of course I did!
    LAWYER: What did you say to him?
    WITNESS: "Morning, George!"


    =================================================================================

    More here! Enjoy:

    Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers
    Journal, the following are 22 questions actually asked of
    witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the
    responses given by insightful witnesses:

    "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
    he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

    "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

    "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

    "Were you alone or by yourself?"

    "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

    "Did he kill you?"

    "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

    "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

    "How many times have you committed suicide?"

    Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?" A:
    "Yes." Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

    Q: "She had three children, right?" A: "Yes." Q: "How many were
    boys?" A: "None." Q: "Were there any girls?"

    Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" A: "Yes." Q:
    "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

    Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon,
    didn't you?" A: "I went to Europe, Sir." Q: "And you took your
    new wife?"

    Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?" A: "By death." Q:
    "And by who's death was it terminated?"

    Q: "Can you describe the individual?" A: "He was about medium
    height and had a beard." Q: "Was this a male, or a female?"

    Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
    deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?" A: "No, this
    is how I dress when I go to work."

    Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
    people?" A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

    Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go
    to?" A: "Oral."

    Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?" A: "The
    autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.." Q: "And Mr. Dennington was
    dead at the time?" A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering
    why I was doing an autopsy."

    Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?" A: "No, I was shot midway
    between the fracas and the navel."

    Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?" A: "I have been
    since early childhood."

    Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for
    a pulse?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?" A:
    "No." Q: "Did you check for breathing?" A: "No." Q: "So, then it
    is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
    autopsy?" A: "No." Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" A:
    "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Q: "But
    could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" A: "It is
    possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
    somewhere."



    Comments

    Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe
    Comments

    >RULE 1
    >Life is not fair - get used to it.
    >
    >RULE 2
    >The world won't care about your self-esteem.
    >The world will expect you to accomplish something
    >BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
    >
    >RULE 3
    >You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school.
    >You won't be a vice president with car phone, until you earn both.
    >
    >RULE 4
    >If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
    >He doesn't have tenure.
    >
    >RULE 5
    >Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.
    >Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping they called it Opportunity.
    >
    >RULE 6
    >If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
    >
    >RULE 7
    >Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.
    >They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are.
    >So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
    >
    >RULE 8
    >Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not.
    >In some schools they have abolished
    >failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer.
    >This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
    >
    >RULE 9
    >Life is not divided into semesters.
    >You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself.
    >Do that on your own time.
    >
    >RULE 10
    >Television is NOT real life.
    >In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
    >
    >RULE 11
    >Be nice to nerds.
    >Chances are you'll end up working for one.


    Comments

    Safety tips for Women
    We can now add to the list of victims the retired 77 yr. old TCU professor
    from Ft Worth whose body was found last week in Oklahoma--and the 11 yr. old
    in Sarasota, FL. Because of these recent abductions in daylight hours,
    refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation...This is
    for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you
    know.


    After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about.
    It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

    1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the stronges! t point on your body. If
    you are close enough to use it, do!

    2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for
    your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from
    you....chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse
    than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER
    DIRECTION!

    3. If you are ev er thrown into the trunk of a ca r, kick out the back tail
    lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The
    driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

    4. Women have a tendency to get into their ! cars after shopping, eating,
    working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
    DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect
    opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
    and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS
    AND LEAVE.

    5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking
    garage:
    A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side
    floor, and in the back seat.
    B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger
    door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their
    vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

    C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the
    passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you
    may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to
    walk you back out.
    IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than
    dead.)

    6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible
    places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especial! ly true at
    NIGHT!)

    7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
    The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even
    then , it most lik! ely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably ! in a
    zig -zag pattern!

    8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you
    raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well
    educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He
    walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle
    or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

    ** *** ******** Here it is *******
    9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying
    baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because
    it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you
    do, DO NOT open the door."

    The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window,
    and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The
    policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT
    open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry
    recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone
    dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several
    calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries o utside th eir doors when
    they're home alone at night.

    Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ----This
    e-mail should probably be ! taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory
    was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled
    the serial killer in Louisiana.

    I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life.
    A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this
    to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters,
    daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

    Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world
    we live in has a lot of crazies in it a nd it's better to b! e safe than
    sorry.

    Shannon LaForge
    Courtroom Deputy to Judge Robert Junell
    U.S. District Court
    Comments

    A man asked the other man: Sir, what is the secret of your success? He said: Two words. - And what are they? - Right decisions. - And how do you make right decisions? - One word. - What is that? - Experience. - And how do you get experience? - Two words. - What are they? - Wrong decisions.
    Comments

    One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well The
    animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried
    to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the
    animal was old and the well needed to be covered up
    any way, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the
    donkey.
    He invited all his neighbors to come over and help
    him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel
    dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized
    what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to
    everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel
    loads later, the farmer finally looked down the
    well and was astonished at what he saw. With every
    shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing
    something amazing. He would shake it off and take a
    step up.
    As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on
    top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a
    step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the
    donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and
    trotted off!


    Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of
    dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake
    it off and take a step up. Each of our challenges
    is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest
    wells by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off
    and take a step up! Five simple rules to being happy:

    1. Stay in reverence
    2. Fill your heart with love
    3. Fill your mind with positive thoughts
    4. Give more.
    5. Expect less.

    !!! And remember to:

    SHAKE IT OFF

    Comments

    Sleeping 1 - Truth
    Comments

    Sleeping 2 - Truth
    Comments

    Sleeping 3 - Truth
    Comments

    Sleeping 4 - Truth
    Comments

    Sleeping Styles - Truth
    Comments

    This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards I have received. Hope it works for you -- and me!




    You have 6 minutes

    There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you're not superstitious. This has been sent To you for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has been sent around the world ten times so Far.

    Do not keep this message.

    It must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES. Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is true, even if you are not superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired.

    ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.


    TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.


    THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.


    FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.


    FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.


    SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.


    SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.


    EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.


    NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.


    TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.


    ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.


    TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.


    THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"


    FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.


    FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.


    SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson


    SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.


    EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.


    NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.


    TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.


    TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

    Now, here's the FUN part!
    Send this to at least 5 people and your life will improve. 1-4 people: Your life will improve slightly.
    5-9 people: Your life will improve to your liking.
    9-14 people: You will have at least 5 surprises in the next 3 weeks

    15 and above: Your life will improve drastically and everything you ever dreamed of will begin to take shape.
    Comments



    1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.



    2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.



    3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.



    4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.



    5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for Best Actor and Actress.



    6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series Winners.





    How did you do?



    The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They're the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.



    Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.



    Now here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:



    1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.



    2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.



    3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.



    4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.



    5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.



    6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you.



    Easier, aint it?



    The lesson:

    The people who make a difference in our lives aren't the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They're the ones who care. So lets acknowledge them and appreciate what they do for us simply by letting them know that we too care.


    ------------------

    Something else to think about:

    Read Each One Carefully and Think About It a Second or Two





    1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.


    2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.


    3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

    4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.


    5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.


    6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.


    7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.


    8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.


    9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.


    10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.


    11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.


    12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.


    13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.


    REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.


    True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?

    Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!


    You have been Tagged by the Green Dog!

    ,-._,-.
    \/)"(\/
    (_o_)


    ruff!!!!!!


    You will Have Good Luck For Two Years if you send this to 8 people or more and if this is sent back to you then you are a true friend......


    You must send it in 5 minutes or your good luck will run out.







    MORE:

    If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
    Do Dutch people always split the bill?
    If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?
    Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
    If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
    Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
    If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
    If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
    If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
    How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
    Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
    If you're sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
    Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
    You know the _expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
    Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
    Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
    If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
    If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops?
    Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?
    If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my driver's license?
    How come you pay an extra 25 cents to get something put on your hamburger but they don't take off the price if you get something taken off?
    If you die and you have a broken leg do they take the cast off?
    Is sign language the same in languages other than English?
    Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?
    If you went back in time and killed your mother would you disappear the moment you killed her?
    If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
    Can you cry under water?
    Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?
    If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms?
    Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?
    Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?
    How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?
    Can someone give up lent for lent?
    Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?
    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
    If CD.s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?
    Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?
    If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?
    What would happen if: Everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
    Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?
    If you died on the International Dateline, and half of you were on 1 side and the other half on the other side, what day would you die?
    If someone crashes his or her car on purpose, why is it still a car accident?
    If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?
    If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?
    If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
    If Sunday is the holy day of rest why do we have to get up early for church?
    When you snap your fingers, does the sound occur when your middle finger releases from your thumb, or when your middle finger hits the palm of your hand?
    Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn.t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
    If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be identical?
    Since you have to pull over when you see a funeral coming down the road...what would you do if there were a funeral coming down both sides?
    Is it possible for a narcoleptic to have insomnia?
    If no one buys a ticket to a movie, does the movie still play?
    If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
    If a fire truck was on its way to a fire and it passes another fire, which fire would it go to?
    Do fish ever get thirsty?
    If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?
    If ignorance is bliss, why aren.t more people happy?
    Why does the label on children.s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when it's for CHILDREN!?
    Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
    Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?
    If you built a time machine with all new parts, when you went back would the parts you use disappear because they didn't exist then?
    If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
    What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?
    When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
    If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
    If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery?
    If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?
    Do judges and lawyers do jury duty?
    Do fish sleep?
    If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?
    Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
    What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?
    If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?
    Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?
    If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?
    How do you throw away a garbage can?
    If your're born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?
    Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
    Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?
    How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
    Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?
    If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?
    If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself?
    Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?
    If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
    Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?
    If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
    Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
    Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
    Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
    Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
    If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?
    What's the opposite of opposite?
    If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?
    If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
    Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?
    Did they have antiques in the olden days?
    Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
    What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
    Can blind people see their dreams?
    If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?
    If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist?
    Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?
    Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?
    Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
    Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
    Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
    How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?
    How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?
    Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?
    If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?
    Aren't all generalizations false?
    Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?
    How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
    How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
    How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
    How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
    If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
    If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
    If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
    If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?
    If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
    If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?
    If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?
    If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?
    If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
    If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money?
    If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?
    If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?
    Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
    What do sheep count when they can't sleep?
    What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
    What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
    What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?
    What is another word for "thesaurus"?
    What's another word for synonym?
    When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?
    Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
    Why do they report power outages on TV?
    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
    You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
    You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

    -----------------------

    More:

    If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

    If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

    I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."

    Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

    Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

    My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

    Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

    If I had some ham, I could have some ham and eggs, if I had some eggs.

    We have a strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

    I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

    If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.

    I filled out an application that said, "In Case of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

    Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

    After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'

    Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.

    On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.

    If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.

    I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

    There's no such thing as nonexistence.

    Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

    It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.

    Don't chew [or eat] with your mouth full.

    I always wanted to be a procrastinator!

    Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.

    I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.

    Free advice is worth what you paid for it.

    I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.

    Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.

    Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

    Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

    Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.

    Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.

    Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

    Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.

    In case of emergency, break glass. Scream. Bleed to death.

    If you can't convince them, confuse them.

    In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

    Be alert - the world needs more lerts.

    The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

    If you can't beat em', arrange to have them beaten.

    Friends help you move. Real friends help you move dead bodies.

    When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

    If at first you don't succeed, then you didn't do it right!

    To successfully keep robbers out of your house put six locks on your door. When you go out, lock every other one. No matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

    Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

    All marriages are happy - it's the living together afterward that causes all the problems.

    DICTIONARY: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

    I think, therefore I am single.

    Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

    No problem is so big and complicated that it can't be ran away from.

    The shortest distance between two points is how far apart they are.

    There are only three kinds of people; people who can count and people who can't.

    You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.

    Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.

    The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

    If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

    Comments





    (supposedly true)


    On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off
    white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man.
    She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.


    "What seems to be the problem, Madam?" asked the attendant.


    "Can't you see?" she said, "You've sat me next to a kafir. I can't
    possibly sit next to this disgusting human. Find me another seat!"


    "Please calm down, Madam." the stewardess replied. "The flight is very
    full today, but I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check to see if we
    have any seats available in club or first class".


    The woman cocks a snooty look at the outraged black man beside her (not
    to mention many of the surrounding passengers). A few minutes later the
    stewardess returns with the good news, which she delivers to the lady,
    who cannot help but look at the people around her with a smug and
    self-satisfied grin.


    "Madam, unfortunately, as I suspected, economy is full. I've spoken to
    the cabin services director, and club is also full. However, we do have one
    seat in first class".


    Before the lady has a chance to answer, the stewardess continues: "It is
    most extraordinary to make this kind of upgrade, however, and I have had
    to get special permission from the captain. But, given the circumstances,
    the captain felt that it was outrageous that someone should be forced to sit
    next such an obnoxious person."


    With that, she turned to the black man and said: "So if you'd like to
    get your things, sir, I have your seat ready for you..."


    At which point, the surrounding passengers stood and gave a standing
    ovation while the man walked to the front of the plane...

    Comments

    One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously
    for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided
    the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just
    wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbours to
    come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt
    into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried
    horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads
    later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he
    saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing
    something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's
    neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
    off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
    stepped up over the edge of
    the well and trotted off!

    Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting
    out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles
    is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not
    stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!

    Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
    1. Free your heart from hatred.
    2. Free your mind from worries.
    3. Live simply.
    4. Give more.
    5. Expect less.
    Comments

    Story of Our Life - Truth
    Comments

    SUCCESS:

    At age 4 success is . . . . not peeing in your pants.
    At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 20 success is . . . having sex.

    At age 35 success is . . . having money.
    At age 50 success is . . . having money.
    At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
    At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
    At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
    At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.


    Comments

    Survival At Work


    1. Never walk without a document in your hands
    People with documents in their hand look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

    2. Use computers to look busy
    Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

    3. Messy desk
    Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

    4. Voice Mail
    Never answers your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

    5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
    According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

    6. Leave the office late
    Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours

    (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

    7. Creative Sighing for Effect
    Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

    8. Stacking Strategy
    It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

    9. Build Vocabulary
    Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

    10. MOST IMPORTANT!!!:
    DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!


    Comments



    Take Time

    Take time to think; it is the source of power.

    Take time to read; it is the foundation of wisdom.

    Take time to be aware; it is the opportunity to help others.

    Take time to laugh; it is the music of the soul.

    Take time to love and be loved; it is God's greatest gift.

    Take time to be friendly; it is the road to happiness.

    Take time to dream; it is what the future is made of.

    Take time to be quiet; it is the opportunity to seek God.

    author Unknown

    Comments

    Talking to God - Truth
    Comments

    10th grade **********

    As I sat there in English class,

    I stared at the girl next to me.

    She was my so called 'best friend'.

    I stared at her long, silky hair,

    and wished she was mine.

    But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

    after class, she walked up to me

    and asked me for the notes

    she had missed the day before.

    I handed them to her.

    She said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

    I want to tell her,

    I want her to know that

    I dont want to be just friends,

    I love her

    but I'm just too shy,

    and I dont know why.



    11th grade **********



    The phone rang.

    On the other end,

    it was her.

    She was in tears,

    mumbling on and on about how

    her love had broke her heart.

    She asked me to come over

    because she didn't want to be alone,

    so I did.

    As I sat next to her on the sofa,

    I stared at her soft eyes,

    wishing she was mine.

    After 2 hours,

    one Drew Barrymore movie,

    and three bags of chips,

    she decided to go to sleep.

    She looked at me,

    said 'thanks'

    and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

    I want to tell her,

    I want her to know

    that I don't want to be just friends,

    I love her

    but I'm just too shy,

    and I dont know why.

    Senior year ***********

    The day before prom

    she walked to my locker.

    "My date is sick" she said, "he's not gonna go"

    well, I didn't have a date,

    and in 7th grade, we made a promise

    that if neither of us had dates,

    we would go together just as 'best friends'.

    So we did.

    Prom night, after everything was over,

    I was standing at her front door step.

    I stared at her as she smiled at me

    and stared at me with her crystal eyes.

    I want her to be mine,

    but she isn't think of me like that,

    and I know it.

    Then she said- "I had the best time,thanks!"

    and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

    I want to tell her,

    I want her to know that

    I dont want to be just friends,

    I love her but

    I'm just too shy,

    and I don't know why.

    A day passed, then a week,then a month.

    Before I could blink, it was graduation day.

    I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel

    up on stage to get her diploma.

    I wanted her to be mine-

    but she didn't notice me like that,

    and I knew it.

    Before everyone went home,

    she came to me in her smock and hat,

    and cried as I hugged her.

    Then she lifted her head

    from my shoulder and said-

    'you're my best friend,thanks'

    and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

    I want to tell her,

    I want her to know

    that I dont want to be just friends,

    I love her but I'm just too shy,

    and I don't know why.

    Now I sit in the pews of the church.

    That girl is getting married now.

    I watched her say 'I do'

    and drive off to her new life,

    married to another man.

    I wanted her to be mine,

    but she didn't see me like that,

    and I knew it.

    But before she drove away,

    she came to me and said 'you came!'.

    She said 'thanks'

    and kissed me on the cheek.

    I want to tell her,

    I want her to know

    that I dont want to be just friends,

    I love her

    but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

    Years passed,

    I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.

    At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school

    years.

    This is what it read:

    "I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he doesn't notice me like

    that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't

    want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know

    why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!"

    'I wish I did too...' I thought to myself, and I cried.

    Do yourself a favor, tell her/him you love them. They won't be

    there forever.



    The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.





    Comments

    God created the donkey

    and said to him.
    "You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset
    carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
    you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
    The donkey answered:
    "I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
    God granted his wish.
    ............................................................................................

    God created the dog

    and said to him:
    "You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
    You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
    You will be a dog. " The dog answered:
    "Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.
    " God granted his wish.
    ............................................................................................

    God created the monkey

    and said to him:
    "You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
    You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. " The monkey answered:
    "To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
    God granted his wish.
    ............................................................................................

    Finally God created man

    and said to him:
    "You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
    You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
    You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
    Man responded:
    "Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little,
    give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
    the 15 years that the dog did not want and
    the 10 years the monkey refused.
    " God granted man's wish
    ............................................................................................

    And since then, man lives 20 years as a man,
    marries and spends 30 years like a donkey,
    working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

    Then when his children are grown,
    he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
    and eating whatever is given to him,

    so that when he is old,
    he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
    going from house to house and from one son or
    daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

    That's Life.

    Is'nt it?





    Comments

    The best things in life don't come with out a struggle. Love is one amongst
    them.

    Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When
    we kiss?
    This is because the most beautiful thing in the world is unseen.

    We are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone
    whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in
    mutual weirdness and call it love.

    A great love? It's when you shed tears and still you care for him, it's when
    he ignores you and still long for him. It's when he begins to love another
    and yet you still smile and say I'm happy for you.

    If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly
    again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never
    have to die with it.

    The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back
    up when they fall. Somehow along the course of life, you learn about
    yourself and realize there should never be regrets, only a lifelong
    appreciation of the choices you've made.

    A true friend understands when you say, I forgot, waits forever when you
    say, just a minute, stay! Leaves when you say leave me alone, opens the door
    even before you knock and says can I come in?

    Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how
    you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go
    but how you hold on.

    In love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose, you
    still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more than you love
    yourself.

    There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that
    person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they'd be
    happier if we let go.

    It's best to wait for the one you want than settle or one that's available.
    Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around.

    Best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just
    someone.

    Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most.
    But that's okay. Your love shouldn't be dependent upon someone else's love
    or hate.

    "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why
    it's called the present! "

    Comments

    On the very first day, God created the cow. He said
    to the cow, "Today I
    have created you! As a cow, you must go to the field
    with the farmer all
    day long. You will work all day under the sun! I will
    give you a life span
    of 50 years."
    The cow objected, "What? This kind of tough life you
    want me to live for
    50 years? Let me have 20 years, and the 30 years I'll
    give back to you."
    So God agreed. On the second day, God created the dog.
    God said to the dog, "What you are supposed to do is
    to sit all day by the door of your house. Any people
    that come in, you will have to bark at them! I'll give
    a life span of 20
    years." The dog objected, "What? All day long to sit
    by the door? No way! I
    give you back my other 10 years of life!" So God
    agreed.
    On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to
    the monkey, "Monkeys
    have to entertain people. You've got to make them
    laugh and do monkey
    tricks. I'll give you 20 years life span."
    The monkey objected. "What? Make them laugh? Do monkey
    faces and tricks?
    Ten years will do, and the other 10 years I'll give
    you back." So God agreed.
    On the fourth day, God created man and said to him,
    "Your job is to sleep,
    eat, and play. You will enjoy very much in your life.
    All you need to do
    is to enjoy and do nothing. This kind of life, I'll
    give you a 20 year
    life span." The man objected. "What? Such a good life!
    Eat, play, sleep, do
    nothing? Enjoy the best and you expect me to live only
    for 20 years? No way,
    man!....Why don't we make a deal? Since the cow gave
    you back 30 years,
    and the dog gave you back 10 years and the monkey gave
    you back 10 years,
    I will take them from you! That makes my life span 70
    years, right?" So
    God agreed. AND THAT'S WHY....
    In our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy the
    best and do nothing
    much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long,
    suffer and get to
    support the family. For the next 10 years, we
    entertain our grandchildren
    by making monkey faces and monkey tricks. And for the
    last 10 years, we
    stay at home, sit by the front door and bark at
    people!

    Comments




    In LIFE, LOVE is NEVER
    planned nor does it happen for a reason.
    But when the LOVE is REAL,
    it becomes your PLAN for LIFE
    and your REASON for
    LIVING!
    Share this message.
    The Lotus Totus
    must leave your hands...
    This is true, even if you are
    superstitious, agnostic,
    or otherwise faith impaired.

    ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

    TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to.
    As you get older, their conversational skills will be
    as important as any other.

    THREE. Don't believe all you hear,
    spend all you have or sleep all you want.

    FOUR. When you say, "I love you", mean it.

    FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.

    SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

    SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

    EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams.
    People who don't have dreams don't have much.

    NINE. Love deeply and passionately.
    You might get hurt but it's the only way
    to live life completely.

    TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

    ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

    TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

    THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question
    you don't want to answer, smile and ask,
    "Why do you want to know?"

    FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and
    great achievements involve great risk.

    FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

    SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

    SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's:
    Respect for self;
    Respect for others; and
    Responsibility for all your actions.

    EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute
    injure a great friendship.

    NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake,
    take immediate steps to correct it.

    TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone.
    The caller will hear it in your voice.

    TWENTY ONE. Spend some time alone.
    Comments

    My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body.

    Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the
    correct answer. When I was young, I thought sound was very important

    to us as humans,

    so I said: My ears mumy
    she said: No, many people are deaf, but you keep thinking about it and

    I will ask you again soon.


    Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first
    attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer.

    So this time I told her: Mumy, Sight is very important to everybody, so

    it must be our eyes.
    She looked at me and told me: You are learning fast, but the naswer is

    not correct because there are many people who are blind.

    Stumped again, I continue my quest for knowledge and over the years,
    mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was:

    No, but you'r getting smarter every year, my child.

    Then last year my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was

    crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was

    only the second time I saw him cry.

    My mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to
    grandpa.

    She asked me: Do you know the most important part of body yet, my dear?

    I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game
    between her and me.
    She saw the confusion on my face and told me:
    This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived
    in your life. For every body part that you gave me in the past, I have
    told you was wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is

    the day you need to learn this important lesson.

    She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with
    tears.she said:
    My dear ,the most important body part is your shoulder

    I asked :
    Is it because it holds up my head ?
    she replied:
    No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when
    they cry. Every body needs a shoulder in life, my dear. I only hope that you
    have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on
    when you need it.

    Then and there I knew the most important body part os not a selfish one.

    It is sympathetic to the pain of others.

    People will forget what you said people will forget what you did. But people will NEVER forget
    how you made them feel.
    Comments


    The most destructive habit....................................................Worry

    The greatest Joy....................................................................Giving

    The greatest loss...................................................................Loss of self-respect

    The most satisfying work......................................................Helping others

    The ugliest personality trait..................................................Selfishness

    The most endangered species...........................................Dedicated leaders

    Our greatest natural resource.............................................Our youth

    The greatest "shot in the arm"............................................Encouragement

    The greatest problem to overcome...................................Fear

    The most effective sleeping pill.............................,,,.........Peace of mind

    The most crippling failure disease....................................Excuses

    The most powerful force in life...........................................Love

    The most dangerous pariah..............................................A gossiper

    The world's most incredible computer.............................The brain

    The worst thing to be without.... .....................................Hope

    The deadliest weapon......................................................The tongue

    The two most power-filled words...................................."I Can"

    The greatest asset.............................................................Faith

    The most worthless emotion............................................Self-pity

    The most beautiful attire...................................................SMILE!

    The most prized possession............................................Integrity

    The most powerful channel of communication...............Prayer

    The most contagious spirit..............................................Enthusiasm

    Everyone needs this list to live by................................................pass it along!!!

    Comments

    Did You Know...

    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

    (Hardly seems worth it.)

    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas
    is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

    (think I know someone who could make TWO bombs!)

    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to
    the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

    (O.M.G.!)

    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

    (In my next life, I want to be a pig)

    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it
    starves to death. (Creepy.)

    (I'm still not over the pig.)

    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
    jumping the length of a football field.

    (30 minutes... lucky pig. can you imagine??)

    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of the ocean?)

    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

    (I still want to be a pig in my next life, or maybe a piglion)

    Butterflies taste with their feet.

    (Something I always wanted to know.)

    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

    (Hmmmmmm........in a woman maybe, can;t stop talking they can't, I know what my strongest muscle is)

    Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
    left-handed people.

    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

    (OK, so that would be a good thing, but why would they want to anyway?)

    A cat's urine glows under a black light.

    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

    (I know some people like that.)

    Starfish have no brains.

    (I know some people like that too.)

    Polar bears are left-handed.

    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
    pleasure.

    (What about that pig??)


    ...........and I STILL cannot forget about that PIG !!


    Comments



    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Remeber these five simple rules to be happy:

    1-Free your heart from hatred.

    2-Free your mind from worries.

    3-Live simply.

    4-Give more.

    5-Excpect less.

    No one can go back and make a new start.Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

    God didn`t promise days without pain,lauther without sorrow, sun without rain,but God did promise strength for the day,comfort for the tears,and light for the way.

    Disapointment are like road humps,they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.Don`t stay on the humps too long.Move on!

    When you feel down because you didn`t get what you want,just sit tight and be happy,because God is thinking or something better to give you.

    When something happens to you,good or bad,consider what it means.There`s a purpose to life`s events,to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

    You can`t make someone love you,all you can do is be someone who can be loved,the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

    The measure of love is when you without measure.In life there are very rare chances that you`ll meet the person you love and loves you in return.So once you have it don`t ever let go,the chance might never come your way again.

    It`s better to lose your pride to the one you love,than to lose the one you love because of pride.

    We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

    When you truly care for someone,you don`t lok for faults,you don`t look for answers,you don`t look for mistakes. Instead,you fight the mistakes,youaccept the faults, and you overlook the excuses.

    Never abandon an old friend.You will never find one who can take his(or her) place.

    Friendship is like wine,it gets better as it grows older.When you receive this,you know you are cherished.


    Comments

    It is interesting to know how our world is changing.
    Are we developing? One will wonder because;

    Our communication - Wireless
    Our business - Cashless
    Our telephone - Cordless
    Our cooking - Fireless
    Our youth - Jobless
    Our food - Fatless
    Our faith - Godless
    Our labor - Effortless
    Our conduct - Worthless
    Our relation - Loveless
    Our attitude - Careless
    Our feelings - Heartless
    Our politics - Shameless
    Our education - Valueless
    Our follies - Countless
    Our arguments - Baseless
    Our commitment - Aimless
    Our life - Meaningless
    Our bosses - Hopeless
    Our salary - Very less !!!!!!!!!!!!
    Comments

    Dr. Alan Zimmerman's Comments:

    Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint
    you in some way. They'll?say something or fail to
    say something that will hurt you. And they'll do
    something or fail to do something that will anger
    you. It's inevitable.

    Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew
    over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a
    rude remark or an insensitive action made by another
    person, you're headed for deeper problems.

    In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get.

    You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping
    away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down
    as you spend more and more time thinking about the
    slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if
    you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick.

    So what should you do the next time someone betrays
    you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even
    though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person
    wronged you, you are still
    responsible for your own feelings.

    In other words, other people do not "cause" your
    feelings. You choose them.

    For example, two different people could be told that
    their suggestions made at the staff meeting were
    "stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to
    feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other
    meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel
    sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't
    see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.

    As long as you blame other people for your feelings,
    as long as you believe other people caused your
    feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim.

    But if you recognize the fact that you choose your
    feelings and you are responsible for your feelings,
    there's hope.?You can take some time to think about
    your feelings. And you can decide what is the best
    thing to say or do.

    Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM
    DISAPPOINTMENT.?It's difficult to do, but it's
    possible. The famous 19th century Scottish
    historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that.

    After working on his multi-volume set of books on
    "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle
    completed the manuscript and took volume one to his
    friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it.

    Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the
    manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to
    Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been
    destroyed.

    Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill.

    These things happen. It is a part of life. I will
    start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure.
    Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go,my friend!
    Do not feel bad."

    As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window.
    Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want
    him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And
    with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is
    gone, so I had better start writing again."

    Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as
    one of the great classics of all time. He had
    learned to walk away from his disappointment.

    After all, what could Carlyle have done about his
    burnt manuscript?

    Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the
    manuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitter
    or get started. And what can you do about anything
    once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it
    if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if
    it isn't. Those are your only two choices.

    Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step
    up. It's like the farmer who had an old mule who
    fell into a deep dry well. As he assessed the
    situation, he knew it would be difficult, if not
    impossible, to lift the heavy mule out of the deep
    well.

    So the farmer decided to bury the mule in the well.

    After all, the mule was old and the well was dry, so
    he could solve two problems at once. He could put
    the old mule out of his misery and have his well
    filled.

    The farmer asked his neighbors to help him with the
    shoveling. To work they went. As they threw
    shovel-full of dirt after shovel-full of dirt on the
    mule's back, the mule became frightened.

    Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each
    time they would throw a shovel-full of dirt on his
    back, he would shake it off and step up.

    Shovel-full after shovel-full, the mule would shake
    it off and step up. In not too long a time, the
    exhausted and dirty mule stepped over the top of the
    well and through the crowd.

    That's the same approach we all need to take. We
    need to shake it off and step up.

    Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult,
    especially when the other person doesn't deserve
    your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's
    difficult when the other person is clearly in the
    wrong.

    Part of the difficulty comes from a common
    misunderstanding of forgiveness.

    Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's
    behavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that
    the other person is off the hook. He's still
    responsible for his misbehavior.

    Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the
    emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative
    emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about
    letting go of the past so you can go forward to the
    future.

    Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job
    is going to disappoint you. If you know how to
    respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of
    most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond
    your circumstances.

    Action:

    Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or
    angered you. If?possible, select two people towards
    whom you still have some bitterness.

    Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me?

    Am I happier holding on to it?

    Do I sleep better?

    Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"

    If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision.
    Actually decide to let it go.

    Walk away from the disappointment -- which means you
    no longer dwell on it or talk about it. Period!

    Or as Islam teaches us, the true believer is the one who
    can forgive while she is angry.

    Comments

    For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.

    For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have
    children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had
    children, this is birth control.

    The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas:

    Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):

    1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
    inches deep.

    2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
    blades, they can ignite.

    3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

    4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
    enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman
    cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint
    on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

    5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
    a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you
    get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

    6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
    ceiling fan.

    7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too
    late.

    8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

    9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though 36-year old
    man says they can only do it in the movies.

    10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

    11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

    12. Super glue is forever.

    13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
    walk on water.

    14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

    15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
    do.

    16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

    17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

    18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

    19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like
    ovens.

    20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

    21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

    22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

    23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

    24. If you wake up and find a suddenly green fish tank with all your fish
    floating upside down, you will soon realize that your 3 year old has gotten
    up in the middle of the night and emptied all the fish food and chemicals
    into the tank. His way of saying you shouldn't have turned off the TV.

    25. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade...true story: One day
    the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to
    her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying
    to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...And so the
    pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon
    me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The teacher
    paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One
    little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said...'Holy shit! A
    talking pig!'"

    The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

    26. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


    Comments

    Did you know...

    It is impossible to lick your elbow.



    A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.





    A shrimp's heart is in its head.




    In a study of 200,000 ostriches
    over a period of 80 years,
    no one reported a single case where
    an ostrich buried its head in the sand.





    It is physically impossible
    for pigs to look up into the sky.





    A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.



    More than 50% of the people in the world
    have never made or received a telephone call.



    Horses can't vomit.





    The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick"
    is said to be the toughest tongue twister
    in the English language.



    If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
    If you try to suppress a sneeze,
    you can rupture a blood vessel
    in your head or neck and die.
    If you keep your eyes open by force,
    they can pop out.



    Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months,
    two rats could have over a million descendants.

    Wearing headphones for just an hour
    will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.


    If the government has no knowledge of aliens,
    then why does Title 14, Section 1211
    of the Code of Federal Regulations,
    implemented on July 16, 1969,
    make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact
    with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?



    In every episode of Seinfeld
    there is a Superman somewhere.


    A duck's quack doesn't echo,
    and no one knows why.


    23% of all photocopier faults worldwide
    are caused by people sitting on them
    and photocopying their butts.


    Most lipstick contains fish scales.



    Like fingerprints,
    everyone's tongue print is different.



    Over 75% of people who read this
    will try to lick their elbow.


    Comments

    1. AGLET - The plain or ornamental covering on the end of a shoelace.
    2. ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing.
    3. CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
    4. COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
    5. DRAGES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.
    6. FEAT - A dangling curl of hair.
    7. FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
    8. HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
    9. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)
    10. JARNS,
    11. NITTLES,
    12. GRAWLIX,
    13. and QUIMP - Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
    14. KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
    15. KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.
    16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood.
    17. MINIMUS - The little finger or toe.
    18. NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
    19. OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is `asleep'.
    20. OCTOTHORPE - The symbol `#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.
    21. OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.
    22. PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
    23. PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
    24. PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
    25. RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist.
    26. ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs.
    27. SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
    28. SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
    29. SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
    30. SPRAINTS - Otter dung.
    31. TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
    32. WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling.
    33. ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup.
    Comments

    Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip
    around the sun.

    Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer
    you live.

    How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom
    door you're on.

    Ever notice that the people who are late are often much
    jollier than the people who have to wait for them?

    If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

    Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

    If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing
    is free yet?

    You may be only one person in the world, but you may also
    be the world to one person.

    Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

    Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened.

    We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp,
    some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and
    all are different colors.... but they all have to learn to live in
    the same box.

    Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

    A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery
    on a detour.

    Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know
    you left open.
    Comments

    Socrates was said to hold knowledge in high esteem.

    One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, "Socrates, do
    you know what I just heard about your friend?"

    "Pause a moment," Socrates replied. "Before telling me anything I'd like you
    to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

    "Triple filter?"

    "That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my friend,
    it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to
    say.

    The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are
    about to tell me is true?"

    "No," the man said, "actually just heard about it and..."

    "All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

    Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are
    about to tell me about my friend something good?"

    "No, on the contrary..."

    "So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, but
    you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because
    there's one filter left: the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell
    me about my friend going to be useful to me?"

    "No, not really."

    "Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither true nor
    good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?"

    This is why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

    It also explains why he never found out his best friend was banging his
    wife...

    Comments

    A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat."



    "Is the man of the house home?", they asked.



    "No", she replied. "He's out."



    "Then we cannot come in", they replied.

    In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

    "Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

    The woman went out and invited the men in"



    "We do not go into a House together," they replied.



    "Why is that?" she asked.



    One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."



    The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"



    His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"



    Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"



    "Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.

    "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

    The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."



    Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"



    The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

    Comments

    3 things of life that once gone never comes back :

    Time, words & opportunity

    3 things of life that must not be lost :

    Peace, hope & honesty

    3 things of life that are most valuable :

    Love, self-confidence & friends

    3 things of life that are never sure :

    Dreams, success & fortune

    3 things that makes a man/Woman :

    Hard work, sincerity & success

    3 things in life that destroys a man/Woman :

    Wine, pride & anger

    So, it's wrong to say :

    Life is three -> food & sex & to be free !

    (an old famous sentence)

    Comments

    To My Friends
    ==============

    To My Friends Who Are............

    MARRIED
    Love is not about "it's your fault",
    but "I'm sorry", not "where are you'
    but "I'm right here", not "how could you"
    but "I understand", not "I wish you were",
    but "I'm thankful you are."

    To My Friends Who Are............

    ENGAGED
    The true measure of compatibility is not the years
    spent together but how good you are for each other.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    NOT SO SINGLE
    Love isn't about becoming somebody else's
    "perfect person."
    It's about finding someone who helps you become
    the best person you can be.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    HEARTBROKEN
    Heartbreaks last as long as you want
    and cut as deep as you allow them to go.
    The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks
    but to learn from them.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    NAIVE
    How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble,
    be consistent but not too persistent,
    share and never be unfair,
    understand and try not to demand,
    and get hurt but never keep the pain.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    SEARCHING
    True love cannot be found where it does not
    truly exist, nor can it be hidden where
    it truly does.
    Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it
    shows; the more you suppress it,
    the more it grows.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
    Never say I love if you don't care.
    Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.
    Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.
    Never look in the eye when what you do is lie.
    The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to
    let her fall in love when he doesn't intend
    to catch her fall.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    POSSESSIVE
    It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy
    with someone else but it's more painful to
    know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    AFRAID TO CONFESS
    Love hurts when you break up with someone.
    It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you.
    But love hurts the most when the person you love
    has no idea how you feel.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    STILL HOLDING ON
    A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone
    who means a lot to you, only to find out in
    the end that it was never bound to be
    and we just have to let go.

    To My Friends Who Are............

    SINGLE
    Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it,
    the more it eludes you. But if you just
    let it fly, it would come to you when
    you least expect it.
    Love can make you happy but often times it hurts,
    but love's only special when you give it to
    someone who is worth it.
    So take your time and choose the best.

    The shortest distance between a problem
    and a solution is the distance between
    your knees and the floor in prayer.

    Author Unknown


    Comments

    To realize

    To realize the value of ten years:Ask a newly divorced couple.
    To realize the value of four years: Ask a graduate.
    To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
    To realize the value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
    To realize the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
    To realize the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly news paper.

    To realize the value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
    To realize the value of one minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
    To realize the value of one second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.
    To realize the value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
    Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.
    You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
    To realize the value of a friend: Lose one.

    Comments

    Number One Idiot of 2002
    I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
    poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
    caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
    ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter in to
    the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened
    to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
    kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the
    emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.


    Number Two Idiot of 2002
    Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
    life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of
    the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
    they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out
    that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
    activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at
    Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet.


    Number Three Idiot of 2002
    A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of
    America, walked into the branch And wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your
    muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
    teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and
    might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the
    Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few
    minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it
    and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light
    in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because
    it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either
    have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
    Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a
    few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't
    bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.


    Number Four Idiot of 2002
    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
    his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received, in the
    mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent
    the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received
    a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of
    handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
    Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking
    about)!


    Number Five Idiot of 2002
    A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
    the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
    robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
    shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
    refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber
    said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
    didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out
    of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed
    that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The
    robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called
    the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the
    license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely
    needs a sign.!


    Number Six Idiot(s) of 2002
    A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
    revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved,
    the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he
    probably figured it out himself.


    Number Seven Idiot of 2002
    Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
    he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
    booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
    at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
    the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was
    made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that
    smarts. Give him his sign.


    Number Eight Idiot of 2002
    Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
    a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and
    demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open
    the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings,
    the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
    walked away. Sign please.

    (Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.)
    Comments

    AS SMART AS YOU ARE....I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THIS !!



    The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV

    were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US

    Treasury.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear

    better.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Coca-Cola was originally green.

    Update: Kelly mentions it's not true according to http://www.snopes.com/cokelore/green.asp

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    It is impossible to lick your elbow.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to

    work: Alaska!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get

    this...) The percentage of North America that is wilderness:

    38%

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:

    $6,400

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The average number of people airborne over the US any given

    hour: 61,000

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China

    in 1910.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The youngest pope was 11 years old.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National

    Monuments.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king

    from history:



    Spades - King David,

    Hearts - Charlemagne,

    Clubs -Alexander, the Great

    Diamonds - Julius Caesar

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both

    front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the

    horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a

    result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all

    four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on

    July 4th, John

    Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on

    August 2,but the

    last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English

    language.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that

    makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?

    A. Conception.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

    A. Their birthplace

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most

    popular boat name requested?

    A. Obsession

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have

    to go until you would find the letter "A"?

    A. One thousand

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield

    wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

    A. All invented by women.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

    A. Honey

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other

    day of the year?

    A. Father's Day

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is

    the most ironic?

    A. He was allergic to carrots.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a

    party?

    A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed

    frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress

    tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the

    phrase "goodnight, sleep tight".

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that

    for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would

    supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead

    is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based,

    this period was called the honey month we know today as the

    honeymoon.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts. So in

    old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would

    yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle

    down. It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle

    baked into the rim or handle of their ceramic cups. When

    they needed a refill,they used the whistle to get some

    service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this

    practice.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled

    Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden.... and thus the word GOLF

    entered into the English language.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

    At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their

    elbow


    Comments

    A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone
    call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She
    repeated, "P U B." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off
    the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is P U B. Sorry, I got the
    number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
    Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust
    is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
    suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and
    enmity may result in separation.Without mutual trust, just imagine what would
    happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "P U B".
    Comments

    >>
    >>>Two Things to A Good Life
    >>>
    >>>
    >>>1) Two Things to remember -- God, Parents
    >>>
    >>>2) Two Things to Love -- Humanity,Country
    >>>
    >>>3) Two Things to be -- Humble, Generous
    >>>
    >>>4) Two Things to think about -- Life, Future
    >>>
    >>>5) Two Things to Keep Off -- Sloth, Sensuality
    >>>
    >>>6) Two Things to Control -- Tongue, Temper
    >>>
    >>>7) Two Things to Consult -- Heart, Mind
    >>>
    >>>8) Two Things to be Pure in -- Thought, Action
    >>>
    >>>9) Two Things to Aspire -- Health, Wealth
    >>>
    >>>10) Two Things to Proclaim -- Liberty, Fraternity
    >>>
    >>>11) Two Things to live for -- Duty, Devotion
    >>>
    >>>12) Two Things to die for -- Honour, Truth
    >>>

    Comments

    Two traveling angels

    Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night
    in the home of a wealthy family.


    The family was rude and refused to let the angels
    stay in the mansion's guest room.


    Instead the angels were given a small space in
    the cold basement.


    As they made their bed on the hard floor, the
    older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.


    When the younger angel asked why, the older angel
    replied,


    "Things aren't always what they seem."


    The next night the pair came to rest at the house
    of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his
    wife.


    After sharing what little food they had the couple
    let the angels sleep in their bed where they could
    have a good night's rest.


    When the sun came up the next morning the angels
    found the farmer and his wife in tears.


    Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole
    income, lay dead in the field.


    The younger angel was infuriated and asked the
    older angel how could you have let this happen?


    The first man had everything, yet you helped him,
    she accused.


    The second family had little but was willing to
    share everything, and you let the cow die.


    "Things aren't always what they seem," the older
    angel replied.


    "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I
    noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the
    wall.


    Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and
    unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the
    wall so he wouldn't find it."


    "Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed,
    the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him
    the cow instead.


    Things aren't always what they seem."


    Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things
    don't turn out the way they should. If you have
    faith, you just need to trust that every out come
    is always to your advantage. You just might not
    know it until some time later...

    Oooo
    Some people ( )
    come into our lives ) /
    and quickly go.. (_ /


    oooO
    ( ) Some people
    \ ( become friends
    \_ ) and stay awhile...


    leaving beautiful Oooo
    footprints on our ( )
    hearts... ) /
    ( _/


    oooO
    ( ) and we are
    \ ( never
    \_ ) quite the same
    because we have
    made a good
    friend!!


    ..live and savor every
    moment... This is not a dress rehearsal!


    Right Now -


    -somebody is thinking of you.
    -somebody is caring about you.
    -somebody misses you
    -somebody wants to talk to you.
    -somebody wants to be with you.
    -somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
    -somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
    -somebody wants to hold your hand.
    -somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
    -somebody wants you to be happy.
    -somebody wants you to find him/her.
    -somebody is celebrating your successes.
    -somebody wants to give you a gift.
    -somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
    -somebody loves you.
    -somebody admires your strength.
    -somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
    -somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.


    Comments

    Assuming Rudolph is in front, the number of possible way to arrange Santa's other eight reindeer is 40,320.
    Divide your weight by six to get the approximate number of quarts of blood in your body.
    A rat can go without water longer than a camel can.
    The Monongahela River's name translated into English means "high banks breaking off and falling down in places."
    The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
    Hummingbirds are the only animal that can fly backwards.
    During his life time, the average male eats 50 tons of food.
    Hydroxydesoxycorticosterone and hydroxydeoxycorticosterones are the largest anagrams.
    The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
    Canada is an Indian word meaning "Big Village."
    It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses it's forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
    The human body contains enough fat to make seven bars of soap and enough iron to make a single one inch nail.
    Most heart attacks occur between 6:00 a.m. and noon when blood pressure naturally rises.
    Twenty-six astronauts have reported seeing UFOs while in orbit around the Earth.
    Fingernails grow four times faster than toenails--about two hundredths of an inch per week.
    Dr. Samuel A. Mudd was the physician who set the leg of Lincoln's assassin John Wilkes Booth...and whose shame created the expression for ignominy, "His name is Mudd."
    Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.
    Your brain uses 10 times more oxygen than the rest of your body.
    Because the eyes work harder when viewing objects up close, particularly on a computer monitor, it is the proximity of the VDT screen to the eyes that causes eyestrain, not "radiation" emitted from the screen.
    Albert Einstein didn't talk until he was four years old.
    "I am" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
    Most precious gems are actually colorless. Their color comes from impurities in the stone than act as pigmenting agents.
    Gordon Sumner, the rock star and actor known as Sting, got his nickname from the yellow-and-black jerseys he used to wear, which fellow musicians thought made him look like a bumble bee.
    A lightning bolt heats the air around it to three times the temperature of the sun's surface.
    For every shark that takes a bite out of a human being, humans kill about a million sharks.
    Ben and Jerry's send the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.
    They live an average of 77 years and have the longest lifespan in the United States - nuns.
    Wilma Flintstone's maiden name was Wilma Slaghoopal, and Betty Rubble's Maiden name was Betty Jean Mcbricker.
    A giant squid's eye is the largest of any animal's, exceeding 15 inches in diameter.
    The shoestring was invented in England in 1790. Prior to this time, all shoes were fastened with buckles.
    The state of Kansas once passed legislation rounding off the value of Pi from 3.14159265... to an even 3.
    The average American adult has 23 decayed or filled surfaces.
    The life span of a taste bud is ten days.
    Until 1890, Vatican choirboys were castrated to keep their voices from deepening.
    Gymnastics is the only sport more popular with women than with men.
    In 1879 a drug was introduced to treat morphine addiction. The drug: cocaine.
    The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"
    Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
    Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself. How they tested this I'm afraid to ask.
    If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
    If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean, the horizon will be about three statute miles away.
    Alaska has the highest percentage of Baby Boomers; Utah the lowest.
    If NASA sent birds into space they would soon die, they need gravity to swallow.
    Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves when they rode past their king. This custom has become the modern military salute.
    Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
    On average, an adult laughs about 15 times a day; a child laughs 400 times.
    In medieval England beer was often served with breakfast.
    The lens of the eye continues to grow throughout a person's life.
    The Atlantic Ocean is saltier than the Pacific Ocean.
    The telephone area code for a cruise ship in the Atlantic Ocean is 871.
    There are more stars in the universe, than grains of sand on all the beaches in the world.
    On the day that "The Wizard of Oz's" Judy Garland died, a tornado touched down in Kansas.
    If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
    "111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321"
    The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
    The bones of a pigeon weigh less than its feathers.
    At 90 degrees (F) below zero your breath will freeze in midair and fall to the ground.
    The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.
    A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
    Charles Lindbergh took only four sandwiches with him on his famous transatlantic flight.
    3000 cows are needed to supply the leather for a year.s supply of NFL footballs.
    Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
    If there were ever an ocean big enough, Saturn would be the only planet that could float.
    Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
    The Hewlett Packard computer company.s first product was an automatic urinal flusher.
    All the coal, oil, gas, and wood on Earth would only keep the Sun burning for a few days.
    A group of rhinos is called a crash.
    Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball.
    At Old English weddings, guests through shoes at the groom.
    Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
    The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
    Your hearing is not as sharp on a full stomach.
    The last United States train robbery took place in 1933.
    A 1,200 pound horse eats about 15 lbs. of hay and nine pounds of grain everyday (seven times its own weight each year).
    Einstein couldn.t read until the age of nine.
    The two lines that connect the bottom of your nose to your lip are called the philtrum.
    Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
    1/100th of a second is called a "jiffy".
    A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
    The housefly hums in the middle octave, key of F.
    "J", the youngest letter in the English alphabet, was not added until the 1600s.
    It takes around 200,000 frowns to create a permanent brow line.
    The Baby Ruth candy bar was actually named after Grover Cleveland's baby daughter, Ruth.
    The fastest-moving land snail is the common qarden snail whose top speed is 55 yards per hour or 0.0313 mph.
    The most common time to sight a UFO is 11pm.
    There are 31,557,600 seconds in a year.
    The right lung takes in more air than the left.
    On average, Americans buy 1.5 toothbrushes a year.
    60% of the swimsuits sold in the U.S. never get wet.
    It takes about 30 minutes for an aspirin to find a headache.
    In Nepal, Mt. Everest is known as "Gauriosankar".
    Los Angeles Police Department ballistics experts say that the fastest bullet is fired from a .223 caliber rifle and travels at 3,500 feet per second, more than 3 times the speed of sound.
    If an octopus is hungry enough, it will eat its own arms.
    The knee-high measurement of an average-sized grasshopper is about 1/2 inch.
    An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
    A group of cows, twelve or more, are known as a "flink."
    In a survey of 5,000 U.S. nurses, 40 percent said they would not recommend the medical facility where they worked to a relative.
    The ancient Romans died their hair with bird droppings.
    Only pharoahs were allowed to eat mushrooms in ancient Egypt.
    What area of your body has the most bacteria? Between your toes.
    Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. president to have been born in a hospital.
    Ratio of inductees into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame who are hearing impaired: 3 in 5.
    The Yo-yo is believed to be the second-oldest toy in the world after dolls. The Greeks played with yo-yos as far back as 500 B.C.
    You use 15 different muscles in your face to laugh.
    The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows."
    A group of ravens is called a murder.
    Cleo and Caesar were the early stage names of Cher and Sonny Bono.
    Only about half of all spiders spin webs.
    Kangaroos are lactose-intolerant.
    Charles Darwin's cousin invented the IQ test.
    Goats can.t legally wear trousers in Massachusetts.
    Niagara Falls was created by a glacier.
    Abraham Lincoln hated being called "Abe".
    5% of Americans let their dishes pile up for a couple of days before washing them.
    Clams can live as long as 150 years.
    In ancient China, doctors received their fees only if their patients were kept healthy. If the patient's health failed, the doctor sometimes paid the patient.
    It.s illegal to ride an ugly horse down the street in Wilbur, Washington.
    The skin on your eyelid is one one-thousandth of an inch deep (the thinnest); the skin on your back is one-fifth of an inch (the thickest).
    According to research, you.ll blow your nose about 250 times this year.
    Cows can be identified by noseprints.
    There are 2,598,960 possible hands in a five-card poker game.
    A group of frogs is called an army.
    101 Dalmatians and Peter Pan (Wendy) are the only two Disney cartoon features with both parents are present and don't die throughout the entire movie.
    An electric eel's charge is so potent it can knock a horse unconscious from twenty feet away.
    70% of house dust consists of human skin.
    Artichokes are flowers.
    Elephants breathe 12 times a minute.
    It's impossible to snore in the weightlessness of space.
    Mosquitos have 47 teeth.
    An ecstatically weeping woman paid $8,625 at an auction for a pair of horseshoes worn by Mr. Ed.
    Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots. (Right, Shair?)
    The first tennis balls were stuffed with human hair.
    The average blink of an eye lasts one-tenth of a second.
    The average American uses 12 gallons of water while showering.
    Abe Lincoln's favorite sport was wrestling.
    In the Middle Ages, you were supposed to throw eggs at the bride and groom.
    In Lawrence, Kansas, it.s against the law to carry bees around in your hat on city streets.
    According to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, the number of injuries caused by plug-in air fresheners is 1,823.
    "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
    In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
    Tomato ketchup was once sold in the U.S. as a medicine.
    Snakes can get malaria.
    Only 30% of humans can flare their nostrils.
    Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
    Ducks can get the flu.
    Siberia means "sleeping land."
    In the Leaning Tower of Pisa, 6 of the tower.s eight floors are without safety rails. More than 250 people have fallen to their deaths since 1174.
    Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
    There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
    There are more chickens than people in the world.
    The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."
    On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.
    ***
    Note from Joel :
    The fact you have on that page about on the Canadian two dollar, with the American flag
    about Parliment is incorrect. If you do not believe me then please visit here.
    http://www.cdnpapermoney.com/English/BoC/Flag0002.htm
    ***
    All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
    No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
    "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."
    Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
    There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
    Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula"--and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "L.A."
    A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
    The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
    When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.
    A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
    A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
    A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
    On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
    It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.(DON'T try this @ home!)
    Mr.Rogers is an ordained minister.
    A golden razor removed from King Tut's Tomb was still sharp enough to be used.
    Abdul Kassam Ismael, Grand Vizier of Persia in the tenth century, carried his library with him wherever he went. The 117,000 volumes were carried by 400 camels trained to walk in alphabetical order.
    According to the Encyclopedia Britannica, 11th Edition, from 1910-1911, the word toast was borrowed from the Old French toste, which has the Latin root of torrere, tostum, meaning to scorch or burn.
    Acting was once considered evil, and actors in the first English play to be performed in America were arrested.
    All of the officers in the Confederate army were given copies of Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo, to carry with them at all times. Robert E. Lee, among others, believed that the book symbolized their cause. Both revolts were defeated.
    All office seekers in the Roman empire were obliged to wear a certain white toga for a period of one year before the election.
    At the turn of the last millennium, Dublin Ireland had the largest slave market in the world, run by the Vikings.
    Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew, Cuitlahac, whose name meant plenty of excrement.
    Before the 1800's there were no separately designed shoes for right and left feet.
    Czar Paul I banished soldiers to Siberia for marching out of step.
    Dog Days: Days of great heat. The Romans called the hottest weeks of summer canculares dies. Their theory was that the Dog Star (Sirius) rising with the sun, added to its heat and the dog-days (about July 3 to August 11) bore the combined heat of both.
    During 18th century France, visitors to the royal palace in Versailles were allowed to stand in a roped-off section of the main dining room and watch the king and queen eat.
    During the Cambrian period, about 500 million years ago, a day was only 20.6 hours long.
    During the Depression, banks first used Scotch tape to mend torn currency.
    During the eighteenth century, books that were considered offensive were sometimes punished by being whipped.
    Everyone believed in the Middle Ages--as Aristotle had--that the heart was the seat of intelligence.
    Evidence of shoemaking exists as early as 10,000 B.C.
    Francis Scott Key was a young lawyer who wrote the poem 'The Star Spangled Banner' after being inspired by watching the Americans fight off the British attack of Baltimore during the War of 1812. The poem became the words to the national anthem.
    High-wire acts have been enjoyed since the time of the ancient Greeks and Romans. Antique medals have been excavated from Greek islands depicting men ascending inclined cords and walking across ropes stretched between cliffs. The Greeks called these high-wire performers neurobates or oribates. In the Roman city of Herculaneum there is a fresco representing an aerialist high on a rope, dancing and playing a flute. Sometimes Roman tightrope walkers stretched cables between the tops of two neighboring hills and performed comic dances and pantomimes while crossing.
    If a family had 2 servants or less in the U.S. in 1900, census takers recorded it as lower middle-class.
    If we had the same mortality rate as in the 1900s, more than half the people in the world today would not be alive.
    If you were born in Los Alamos, New Mexico during the Manhattan project (where they made the atomic bomb), your birth place is listed as a post office box in Albequerque.
    In 1778, fashionable women of Paris never went out in blustery weather without a lightning rod attached to their hats.
    In ancient Egypt, killing a cat was a crime punishable by death.
    In certain parts of India and ancient China, mouse meat was considered a delicacy.
    In midieval England, beer often was served with breakfast.
    In the 1700's, you could purchase insurance against going to hell, in London, England.
    In the 19th century, the British Navy attempted to dispel the superstition that Friday was an unlucky day to embark on a ship. The keel of a new ship was laid on a Friday, she was named H.M.S Friday, commanded by a Captain Friday, and finlly went to sea on a Friday. Neither the ship nor her crew were ever heard of again.
    In the Great Fire of London in 1666, half of London was burnt down but only six people were injured.
    In the marriage ceremony of the ancient Inca Indians of Peru, the couple was considered officially wed when they took off their sandals and handed them to each other.
    In Turkey, in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, anyone caught drinking coffee was put to death.
    In Victorian times, there was an intense fear of being buried alive, so when someone died, a small hole was dug from the casket to the surface, then a string was tied around the dead persons finger which was then attached to a small but loud bell that was hung on the surface of the grave, so then if someone was buried alive, they could ring the bell and whomever was on duty would go and dig them up. Someone was on the clock 24 hours a day- hence the grave yard shift.
    Income tax was first introduced in England in 1799 by British Prime Minister, William Pitt.
    It cost more to buy a car today in the United States than it cost Christopher Columbus to equip and undertake three voyages to the New World.
    It has been calculated that in the last 3,500 years, there have only been 230 years of peace throughout the civilized world.
    January is National Soup month.
    Native Americans never actually ate turkey; killing such a timid bird was thought to indicate laziness.
    53,312 inmate lawsuits were filed nationwide in 1995.
    A Virginia law requires all bathtubs to be kept out in the yards, not inside the house.
    According to British law passed in 1845, attempting to commit suicide was a capital offense. Offenders could be hanged for trying.
    Christmas was once illegal in England.
    George Washington is the only man whose birthday is a legal holiday in every state of the U.S as of a few years ago.
    Impotence is legal grounds for divorce in 24 American states.
    In a tradition dating to the begining of the Westminster system of government, the bench in the middle of a Westminster parliarment is two and a half sword lengths long. This was so the government and oppositon couldn't have a go at each other if it all got a bit heated
    In Alaska it is illegal to shoot at a moose from the window of an aeroplane or other flying vehicle.
    In Baltimore USA it is illegal to wash or scrub a sink regardless of how dirty it is.
    In Cleveland, Ohio it is illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.
    In England during Queen Victoria's reign, it was illegal to be a homosexual but not a lesbian. The reason being that when the Queen was approving the law she wouldn't believe that women would do that.
    In Hartford, Connecticut, it is illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sundays.
    In Italy, it is illegal to make coffins out of anything except nutshells or wood.
    In Jasmine, Saskatchewan, it is illegal for a cow to moo within 300 km of a private home.
    In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice-cream in your back pocket.
    In Texas, it is illegal to put graffiti on someone else's cow.
    In the UK, there is no act of parliament making it illegal to commit murder. Murder is only illegal due to legal precedent.
    It is illegal to eat oranges while bathing in California.
    It is illegal to frown at cows in Bladworth, Saskatchewan.
    It is illegal to hunt camels in the state of Arizona.
    It was once against the law to have a pet dog in a city in Iceland.
    It was once against the law to slam your car door in a city in Switzerland.
    Mailing an entire building has been illegal in the U.S. since 1916 when a man mailed a 40,000-ton brick house across Utah to avoid high freight rates.
    Pennsylvania was the first colony to legalize witchcraft.
    107 incorrect medical procedures will be performed by the end of the day today.
    A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.
    A bolt of lighting can strike the earth with a force as great as 100 million volts.
    A cesium atom in an atomic clock beats 9,192,631,770 times a second.
    A creep is a metallurgical term for when something that is normally very strong bends because of gravity. This happens to many metals at high temperatures, where they won't melt but they will creep.
    A cubic mile of fog is made up of less than a gallon of water.
    A device invented as a primitive steam engine by the Greek engineer Hero, about the time of the birth of Christ, is used today as a rotating lawn sprinkler.
    A downburst is a downward blowing wind that sometimes comes blasting out of a thunderstorm. The damage looks like tornado damage, since the wind can be as strong as an F2 tornado, but debris is blown straight away from a point on the ground. It's not lifted into the air and transported downwind.
    A fierce gust of wind blew 45 year old Vittorio Luise's car into a rover near Naples, Italy, in 1980. He managed to break a window, climb out and swim to shore--where a tree blew over and killed him.
    A full loaded supertanker traveling at normal speed takes at least twenty minutes to stop.
    A full moon always rises at sunset.
    A full moon is nine times brighter than a half moon.
    A jumbo jet uses 4,000 gallons of fuel to take off.
    A large flawless emerald is worth more than a similarly large flawless diamond.
    A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found on the sun's surface.
    A manned rocket reaches the moon in less time than it took a stagecoach to travel the length of England.
    A normal raindrop falls at about 7 miles per hour.
    A penny whistle has six finger holes.
    A rainbow can only occur when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.
    A silicon chip a quarter-inch square has the capacity of the original 1949 ENIAC computer, which occupied a city block.
    A standard grave is 7'8 x 3'2 x 6.
    A syzygy occurs when three atronomical bodies line up.
    A two-bit moon is in its first quarter.
    A wind with a speed of 74 miles or more is designated a hurricane.
    About seven million cars are junked each year in the U.S.
    According to the Gemological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source for diamonds to the world.
    According to the Texas Department of Transportation, one person is killed annually painting stripes on the state's highways and roads.
    All snow crystals are hexagonal.
    All the gold produced in the past five hundred years, if melted, could be compressed into a 50-foot cube.
    All totalled, the sunlight that strikes Earth at any given moment weighs as much as an ocean liner.
    American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class.
    An enneahedron is solid with nine faces.
    An inch of snow falling evenly on one acre of ground is equivalent to about 2715 gallons of water.
    Any free moving liquid in outer space will form itself into a sphere because of its surface tension.
    Approximately 98% of software in China is pirated.
    April is Earthquake Preparedness month. For a little added incentive, consider this- The most powerful earthquake to strike the United States occurred in 1811 in New Madrid, Missouri. The quake shook more than one million square miles, and was felt as far as 1,000 miles away.
    At any given time, there are 1,800 thunderstorms in progress over the earth's atmosphere.
    At room temperature, the average air molecule travels at the speed of a rifle bullet.
    Back in the mid to late 80's, an IBM compatible computer wasn't considered a hundred percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft's Flight Simulator.
    Bacteria, the tiniest free-living cells, are so small that a single drop of liquid contains as many as 50 million of them.
    Bamboo (the world's tallest grass) can grow up to 90 cm in a day.
    Because of the rotation of the earth, an object can be thrown farther if it is thrown west.
    Carolyn Shoemaker has discovered 32 comets and approximately 300 asteroids.
    Clouds fly higher during the day than the night.
    Construction workers hard hats were first invented and used in the building of the Hoover Dam in 1933.
    Did you know you share a birthday with at least nine other million people in the world?
    During the time that the atomic bomb was being hatched by the United States at Alamogordo, New Mexico, applicants for routine jobs like janitors, were disqualified if they could read. Illiteracy was a job requirement. The reason: the authorities did not want their trash or other papers read.
    Each year there is one ton of cement poured for each man, woman and child in the world.
    Ethernet is a registered trademark of Xerox, Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T.
    Experts at Intel say that microprocessor speed will double every 18 months for at least 10 years.
    February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not have a full moon.
    If you attempted to count the stars in a galaxy at a rate of one every second it would take around 3,000 years to count them all.
    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and six days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
    In 1949, forecasting the relentless march of science, Popular Mechanics said computers in the future may weigh no more than 5 tons.
    In 1961, MIT student Steve Russell, created SPACEWARS, the first interactive computer game, on a Digital PDP-1 (Programmed Data Processor-1) mainframe computer. Limited by the computer technology of the time, ASCII text characters were the 'graphics' and people could only play the game on a device that took up the floorspace of a small house.
    Iron nails cannot be used in aok because the acid in the wood corrodes them.
    It takes 8.5 minutes for light to get from the sun to earth.
    It takes one fifteen-to-twenty-year-old tree to produce seven hundred paper grocery bags.
    It takes the insect-eating Venus Flytrap plant only half a second to shut its trap on its prey.
    Methane gas can often be seen bubbling up from the bottom of ponds. It is produced by the decomposition of dead plants and animals in the mud.
    The Venus's flytrap can eat a whole cheeseburger.
    4,000 people are injured by tea pots every year.
    A 60-minute cassette contains 565 feet of tape.
    A coat hanger is forty-four inches long if straightened.
    A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
    A good typist can strike twenty keys in a second.
    A person uses more household energy shaving with a hand razor at a sink (because of the water power, the water pump and so on) than he would by using an electric razor.
    A quarter has 119 grooves on its edge, a dime has one less groove.
    A toothpick is the object most often choked on by Americans
    A typical double mattress contains as many as two million house dust mites.
    A wedding ring is generally exempt by law from inclusion among the assets in a bankruptcy estate. That means that a wedding ring can't be seized by creditors, no matter how much the bankrupt person owes.
    According to a market research survey done some time ago, 68% of consumers receiving junk mail actually open the envelopes.
    According to one study, 24% of lawns have some sort of lawn ornament.
    All hospitals in Singapore use Pampers diapers.
    Aluminum is strong enough to support 90,000 pounds per square inch.
    An average of 200 million credit cards are used every day in the United States.
    Approximately 30 billion cakes of Ivory Soap had been manufactured by 1990.
    As of 1983, an average of three billion Christmas cards were sent annually in the United States.
    At the height of inflation in Germany in the early 1920s, one U.S. dollar was equal to 4 quintillion German marks.
    Avery Laser Labels are named after company founder R. Stanton Avery.
    Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
    Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts - Charlemagne; and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
    Each of the suits on a deck of cards represents the four major pillars of the economy in the middle ages: heart represented the Church, spades represented the military, clubs represented agriculture, and diamonds represented the merchant class.
    Each of us generate 5 pounds of rubbish a day; most of it is paper.
    Every year, over 8,800 people injure themselves with a toothpick.
    Hallmark makes cards for 105 different relationships.
    How valuable is the penny you found laying on the ground? If it takes just a second to pick it up a person could make $36.00 per hour just picking up pennies.
    If done perfectly, any rubix cube combination can be solved in 17 turns.
    If you lace your shoes from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe.
    In 1990, there were about 15,000 vacuum cleaner related accidents in the U.S.
    In 75% of American households, women manage the money and pay the bills.
    In every deck of cards, the King of Hearts is sticking his sword through his head. That's why he's often called the Suicide King.
    In historic Deerfield, Massachusetts a guide was showing us fireplaces and some old cooking items. One of the items was an iron standing grid that they would slide bread slices into and place in front of the fire. This grid could turn around and the story goes that the women would push it with their toe; originating the term toe stir which eventually became toaster.
    In order for a deck of cards to be mixed up enough to play with properly, it should be shuffled at least seven times.
    It's rumored that sucking on a copper penny will cause a breathalyzer to read 0.
    Ivory bar soap floating was a mistake. They had been mixing the soap formula causing excess air bubbles that made it float. Customers wrote and told how much they loved that it floated, and it has floated ever since.
    John F. Kennedy's rocking chair was auctioned off for $442,000.
    Ketchup is excellent for cleaning brass, especially tarnished or corroded brass.
    Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.
    Mosquito repellants do not repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they do not know you are there.
    Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants.
    On average, there are 333 squares of toilet paper on a roll.
    The first U.S. coin to bear the words, United States of America was a penny made in 1727. It was also inscribed with the plain-spoken motto: Mind your own business.
    Comments

    1. Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) was born on and died on days when Halley.s Comet can be seen. During his life he predicted that he would die when it could be seen.

    2. US Dollar bills are made out of cotton and linen.

    3. The .57. on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of pickle types the company once had.

    4. Americans are responsible for about 1/5 of the world.s garbage annually. On average, that.s 3 pounds a day per person.

    5. Giraffes and rats can last longer without water than camels.

    6. Your stomach produces a new layer of mucus every two weeks so that it doesn.t digest itself.

    7. 98% of all murders and rapes are by a close family member or friend of the victim.

    8. A B-25 bomber crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945.

    9. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

    10. The dot over the letter .i. is called a tittle.

    11. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

    12. Benjamin Franklin was the fifth in a series of the youngest son of the youngest son.

    13. Triskaidekaphobia means fear of the number 13. Paraskevidekatriaphobia means fear of Friday the 13th (which occurs one to three times a year). In Italy, 17 is considered an unlucky number. In Japan, 4 is considered an unlucky number.

    14. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

    15. All the chemicals in a human body combined are worth about 6.25 euro (if sold separately).

    16. In ancient Rome, when a man testified in court he would swear on his testicles.

    17. The ZIP in .ZIP code. means Zoning Improvement Plan.

    18. Coca-Cola contained Coca (whose active ingredient is cocaine) from 1885 to 1903.

    19. A .2 by 4. is really 1 1/2 by 3 1/2.

    20. It.s estimated that at any one time around 0.7% of the world.s population is drunk.

    21. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades = David ; Clubs = Alexander the Great ; Hearts = Charlemagne ; Diamonds = Caesar

    22. 40% of McDonald.s profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.

    23. Every person, including identical twins, has a unique eye and tongue print along with their finger print.

    24. The .spot. on the 7-Up logo comes from its inventor who had red eyes. He was an albino.

    25. 315 entries in Webster.s 1996 dictionary were misspelled.

    26. The .save. icon in Microsoft Office programs shows a floppy disk with the shutter on backwards.

    27. Albert Einstein and Charles Darwin both married their first cousins (Elsa Lwenthal and Emma Wedgewood respectively).

    28. Camel.s have three eyelids.

    29. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents every day.

    30. John Wilkes Booth.s brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln.s son.

    31. Warren Beatty and Shirley McLaine are brother and sister.

    32. Chocolate can kill dogs; it directly affects their heart and nervous system.

    33. Daniel Boone hated coonskin caps.

    34. Playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII. If captured, they could be soaked in water and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

    35. 55.1% of all US prisoners are in prison for drug offenses.

    36. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

    37. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark.s stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

    38. Dr. Seuss pronounced his name .soyce..

    39. Slugs have four noses.

    40. Ketchup was sold in the 1830s as medicine.

    41. The Three Wise Monkeys have names: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).

    42. India has a Bill of Rights for cows.

    43. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out. (DON.T TRY IT, DUMBASS)

    44. During the California gold rush of 1849, miners sent their laundry to Honolulu for washing and pressing. Due to the extremely high costs in California during these boom years, it was deemed more feasible to send their shirts to Hawaii for servicing.

    45. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by taking out an olive from First Class salads.

    46. About 200,000,000 M&Ms are sold each day in the United States.

    47. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

    48. Over a course of about eleven years, the sun.s magnetic poles switch places. This cycle is called .Solarmax..

    49. There are 318,979,564,000 possible combinations of the first four moves in Chess.

    50. Upper and lower case letters are named .upper. and .lower. because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the lower case letters.

    51. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

    52. The numbers .172. can be found on the back of the US 5 dollar bill, in the bushes at the base of the Lincoln Memorial.

    53. Coconuts kill about 150 people each year. That.s more than sharks.

    54. Half of all bank robberies take place on a Friday.

    55. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before it.

    56. The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.

    57. The first bomb the Allies dropped on Berlin in WWII killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.

    58. The average raindrop falls at 7 miles per hour.

    59. It took Leonardo Da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa. He never signed or dated the painting. Leonardo and Mona had identical bone structures according to the painting. X-ray images have shown that there are 3 other versions under the original.

    60. If you put a drop of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

    61. Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.

    62. The largest amount of money you can have without having change for a dollar is $1.19 (3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies cannot be divided into a dollar).

    63. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen.s .Born in the USA..

    64. IBM.s motto is .Think.. Apple later made their motto .Think different..

    65. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original .Halloween. was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white, due to low budget.

    66. The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

    67. The phrase .rule of thumb. is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn.t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

    68. One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde. Only one in sixteen men is.

    69. The Olympic was the sister ship of the Titanic, and she provided twenty-five years of service.

    70. When the Titanic sank, 2228 people were on it. Only 706 survived.

    71. In America, someone is diagnosed with AIDS every 10 minutes. In South Africa, someone dies due to HIV or AIDS every 10 minutes.

    72. Every day, 7% of the US eats at McDonald.s.

    73. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, which Motorola got their name from.

    74. In the US, about 127 million adults are overweight or obese; worldwide, 750 million are overweight and 300 million more are obese. In the US, 15% of children in elementary school are overweight; 20% are worldwide.

    75. In Disney.s Fantasia, the Sorcerer to whom Mickey played an apprentice was named Yensid (Disney spelled backward).

    76. During his entire life, Vincent Van Gogh sold exactly one painting, .Red Vineyard at Arles..

    77. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand.

    78. One in ten people live on an island.

    79. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with.

    80. 28% of Africa is classified as wilderness. In North America, its 38%.

    81. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest.

    82. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

    83. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said .Elementary, my dear Watson., Humphrey Bogart NEVER said .Play it again, Sam. in Casablanca, and they NEVER said .Beam me up, Scotty. on Star Trek.

    84. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than 3 steps backwards while dancing.

    85. Sharon Stone was the first Star Search spokes model.

    86. The sound you here when you put a seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your head.

    87. More people are afraid of open spaces (kenophobia) than of tight spaces (claustrophobia).

    88. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher.

    89. There is a 1 in 4 chance that New York will have a white Christmas.

    90. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

    91. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

    92. Back in the mid to late .80s, an IBM compatible computer wasn.t considered 100% compatible unless it could run Microsoft.s Flight Simulator.

    93. $203,000,000 is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S.

    94. Every US president has worn glasses (just not always in public).

    95. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

    96. Jim Henson first coined the word .Muppet.. It is a combination of .marionette. and .puppet..

    97. The names of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with (not counting the words .North. and .South).

    98. The Michelin man is known as Mr. Bib. His name was Bibendum in the company.s first ads in 1896.

    99. About 20% of bird species have become extinct in the past 200 years, almost all of them because of human activity.

    100. The word .lethologica. describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

    101. About 14% of injecting drug users are HIV positive.

    102. A word or sentence that is the same front and back (racecar, kayak) is called a .palindrome..

    103. A snail can sleep for 3 years.

    104. People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide.

    105. China has more English speakers than the United States.

    106. Finnish folklore says that when Santa comes to Finland to deliver gifts, he leaves his sleigh behind and rides on a goat named Ukko instead. According to French tradition, Santa Claus has a brother named Bells Nichols, who visits homes on New Year.s Eve after everyone is asleep, and if a plate is set out for him, he fills it with cookies and cakes.

    107. One in every 9000 people is an albino.

    108. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

    109. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

    110. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly sets than for the U.S. Treasury.

    111. Every year 4 people in the UK die putting their trousers on.

    112. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds; dogs only have about ten.

    113. Our eyes are always the same size from birth but our nose and ears never stop growing.

    114. In every episode of .Seinfeld. there is a Superman picture or reference somewhere.

    115. If Barbie were life-size her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet two inches tall and have a neck twice the length of a normal human.s neck.

    116. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

    117. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

    118. Each year in America there are about 300,000 deaths that can be attributed to obesity.

    119. About 55% of all movies are rated R.

    120. About 500 movies are made in the US and 800 in India annually.

    121. Arabic numerals are not really Arabic; they were created in India.

    122. Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations (implemented on July 16, 1969) makes it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles.

    123. The February of 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

    124. The Pentagon in Arlington Virginia has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary. When it was built in the 1940s the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

    125. There is actually no danger in swimming right after you eat, though it may feel uncomfortable.

    126. The cruise liner Queen Elizabeth II moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

    127. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

    128. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

    129. There are about 2 chickens for every human in the world.

    130. The word .maverick. came into use after Samuel Maverick, a Texan refused to brand his cattle. Eventually any unbranded calf became known as a Maverick.

    131. Two-thirds of the world.s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

    132. For every memorial statue with a person on a horse, if the horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died of battle wounds; if all four of the horse.s legs are on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

    133. On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the American flag is flying over the Parliament Building.

    134. An American urologist bought Napoleon.s penis for $40,000.

    135. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

    136. Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters .MT..

    137. $283,200 is the absolute highest amount of money you can win on Jeopardy.

    138. Almonds are members of the peach family.

    139. Rats and horses can.t vomit.

    140. The penguin is the only bird that can.t fly but can swim.

    141. There are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.

    142. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance.

    143. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

    144. There are only four words in the English language that end in .-dous.: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

    145. Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

    146. Every time you lick a stamp you consume 1/10 of a calorie.

    147. .101 Dalmatians. and .Peter Pan. are the only Disney animations in which both of a character.s parents are present and don.t die during the movie.

    148. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

    149. Hedenophobic means fear of pleasure.

    150. Ancient Egyptian priests would pluck every hair from their bodies.

    151. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

    152. Half of all crimes are committed by people under the age of 18. 80% of burglaries are committed by people aged 13-21.

    153. An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

    154. All polar bears are left-handed.

    155. The catfish has over 27000 taste buds (more than any other animal)

    156. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

    157. Butterflies taste with their feet.

    158. Elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump.

    159. An ostrich.s eye is bigger than its brain.

    160. Starfish have no brains.

    161. 11% of the world is left-handed.

    162. John Hancock and Charles Thomson were the only people to sign the Declaration of independence on July 4th, 1776. The last signature came five years later.

    163. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

    164. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

    165. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses.

    166. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

    167. A healthy (non-colorblind) human eye can distinguish between 500 shades of gray.

    168. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

    169. Lizards can self-amputate their tails for protection. It grows back after a few months.

    170. Los Angeles. full name is .El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula.. It can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: L.A.

    171. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

    172. A honeybee can fly at fifteen miles per hour.

    173. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

    174. A .jiffy. is the scientific name for 1/100th of a second.

    175. The average child recognizes over 200 company logos by the time he enters first grade.

    176. The youngest pope ever was 11 years old.

    177. The first novel ever written on a typewriter is Tom Sawyer.

    178. One out of every 43 prisoners escapes from jail. 94% are recaptured.

    179. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

    180. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects. legs melted into it.

    181. A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

    182. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

    183. Elwood Edwards did the voice for the AOL sound files (i.e. .You.ve got Mail!.). He is heard about 27 million times a day. The recordings were done before Quantum changed its name to AOL and the program was known as .Q-Link..

    184. A polar bears skin is black. Its fur is actually clear, but like snow it appears white.

    185. Elvis had a twin brother named Garon, who died at birth, which is why Elvis middle name was spelled Aron, in honor of his brother.

    186. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

    187. Donkeys kill more people than plane crashes.

    188. Shakespeare invented the words .assassination. and .bump..

    189. There are a million ants for every person on Earth.

    190. If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

    191. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

    192. The name Jeep comes from .GP., the army abbreviation for General Purpose.

    193. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

    194. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

    195. Cats. urine glows under a black light.

    196. A .quidnunc. is a person who is eager to know the latest news and gossip.

    197. The first US Patent was for manufacturing potassium carbonate (used in glass and gunpowder). It was issued to Samuel Hopkins on July 31, 1970.

    198. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors, the helicopter, and many other present day items.

    199. In the last 4000 years no new animals have been domesticated.

    200. 25% of a human.s bones are in its feet.

    201. David Sarnoff received the Titanic.s distress signal and saved hundreds of passengers. He later became the head of the first radio network, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC).

    202. On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

    203. Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than every Nike factory worker in Malaysia combined.

    204. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because cotton growers in the .30s lobbied against hemp farmers (they saw it as competition).

    205. .Canada. is an Indian word meaning .Big Village..

    206. Only one in two billion people will live to be 116 or older.

    207. If you yelled for 8 years 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

    208. Rape is reported every six minutes in the U.S.

    209. The human heart creates enough pressure in the bloodstream to squirt blood 30 feet.

    210. A jellyfish is 95% water.

    211. Truck driving is the most dangerous occupation by accidental deaths (799 in 2001).

    212. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

    213. Elephants only sleep for two hours each day.

    214. On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

    215. The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. (the heart is not a muscle)

    216. In golf, a .Bo Derek. is a score of 10.

    217. In the U.S, Frisbees outsell footballs, baseballs and basketballs combined.

    218. In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

    219. If you plant an apple seed, it is almost guaranteed to grow a tree of a different type of apple.

    220. Al Capone.s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

    221. The only real person to be a PEZ head was Betsy Ross.

    222. There are about 450 types of cheese in the world. 240 come from France.

    223. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers plays football at home the stadium becomes Nebraska.s third largest city.

    224. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra.s .It.s a Wonderful Life..

    225. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

    226. In Iceland, a Big Mac costs $5.50.

    227. Broccoli and cauliflower are the only vegetables that are flowers.

    228. Newborn babies have about 350 bones. They gradually merge and disappear until there are about 206 by age 5.

    229. There is no solid proof of who built the Taj Mahal.

    230. In a survey of 200000 ostriches over 80 years, not one tried to bury its head in the sand.

    231. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A quarter has 119.

    232. On an American one-dollar bill there is a tiny owl in the upper-left-hand corner of the upper-right-hand .1. and a spider hidden in the front upper-right-hand corner.

    233. Judy Scheindlin (.Judge Judy.) has a $25,000,000 salary, while Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg has a $190,100 salary.

    234. The name for Oz in the Wizard of Oz was thought up when the creator Frank Baum looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z.

    235. Andorra, a tiny country on the border between France and Spain, has the longest average lifespan: 83.49 years.

    236. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

    237. Mr. Rogers was an ordained Presbyterian minister.

    238. In America you will see an average of 500 advertisements a day.

    239. John Lennon.s first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

    240. You can lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs.

    241. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

    242. .The sixth sick sheik.s sixth sheep.s sick. is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.

    243. There are 336 dimples on a regulation US golf ball. In the UK its 330.

    244. The Toltecs (a 7th century tribe) used wooden swords so they wouldn.t kill their enemies.

    245. .Duff. is the decaying organic matter found on a forest floor.

    246. The US has more personal computers than the next 7 countries combined.

    247. There have been over 600 lawsuits against Alexander Grahm Bell over rights to the patent of the telephone, the most valuable patent in U.S. history.

    248. Kuwait is about 60% male (highest in the world). Latvia is about 54% female (highest in the world).

    249. The Hawaiian alphabet has only 12 letters.

    250. In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world.s nuclear weapons combined.

    251. At the height of its power in 400 BC, the Greek city of Sparta had 25,000 citizens and 500,000 slaves.

    252. Julius Caesar.s autograph is worth about $2,000,000.

    253. The tool doctors wrap around a patient.s arm to measure blood pressure is called a sphygmomanometer.

    254. People say .bless you. when you sneeze because your heart stops for a millisecond.

    255. US gold coins used to say .In Gold We Trust..

    256. In .Silence of the Lambs., Hannibal Lector (Anthony Hopkins) never blinks.

    257. A shrimp.s heart is in its head.

    258. In the 17th century, the value of pi was known to 35 decimal places. Today, to 1.2411 trillion.

    259. The bestselling books of all time are The Bible (6billion+), Quotations from the Works of Mao Tse-tung (900million+), and The Lord of the Rings (100million+)

    260. Pearls melt in vinegar.

    261. .Lassie. was played by a group of male dogs; the main one was named Pal.

    262. In 1863, Paul Hubert of Bordeaux, France, was sentenced to life in jail for murder. After 21 years, it was discovered that he was convicted of murdering himself.

    263. Nepal is the only country that doesn.t have a rectangular flag. Switzerland is the only country with a square flag.

    264. Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer are the only angels named in the Bible.

    265. Tiger Woods. real first name is Eldrick. His father gave him the nickname .Tiger. in honor of a South Vietnamese soldier his father had fought alongside with during the Vietnam War.

    266. Johnny Appleseed planted apples so that people could use apple cider to make alcohol.

    267. Abraham Lincoln.s ghost is said to haunt the White House.

    268. God is not mentioned once in the book of Esther.

    269. The odds of being born male are about 51.2%, according to census.

    270. Scotland has more redheads than any other part of the world.

    271. There is an average of 61,000 people airborne over the US at any given moment.

    272. Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane in case there is a crash.

    273. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad. The most common name (of any type) in the world is Mohammed.

    274. The surface of the Earth is about 60% water and 10% ice.

    275. For every 230 cars that are made, 1 will be stolen.

    276. Jimmy Carter was the first U.S. President to be born in a hospital.

    277. Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day.

    278. Around 2,000 left-handed people die annually due to improper use of equipment designed only for right handed people.

    279. The .if. and .then. parts of conditional (.if P then Q.) statement are called the protasis (P) and apodosis (Q).

    280. Humans use a total of 72 different muscles in speech.

    281. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode.

    282. Only female mosquitoes bite.

    283. The U.S. Post Office handles 43 percent of the world.s mail.

    284. Most household dust is made of dead skin cells.

    285. One in about eight million people has progeria, a disease that causes people to grow faster than they age.

    286. The male seahorse carries the eggs until they hatch instead of the female.

    287. The .countdown. (counting down from 10 for an event such as New-Years Day) was first used in a 1929 German silent film called .Die Frau Im Monde. (The Girl in the Moon).

    288. Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression can weaken your immune system.

    289. There are seven suicides in the Bible: Abimelech. Samson, Saul, Saul.s armor-bearer, Ahithophel, Zimri, Judas.

    290. A mongoose is not a goose but more like a meercat, which is not a cat but more like a prairie dog, which is not a dog but more like a ground squirrel.

    291. Stephen Hawking was born exactly 300 years after Galileo died.

    292. Mercury is the only planet whose orbit is coplanar with its equator. Venus and Uranus are the only planets that rotate opposite to the direction of their orbit.

    293. John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Monroe died on July 4th. Adams and Jefferson died in the same year. Supposedly, Adams last words were .Thomas Jefferson survives..

    294. The Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Grover Cleveland.s baby daughter, Ruth, not Babe Ruth the baseball player.

    295. Dolphins can look in different directions with each eye. They can sleep with one eye open.

    296. The Falkland Isles (pop. about 2000) has over 700000 sheep (350 per person).

    297. There are 41,806 different spoken languages in the world today.

    298. While many treaties have been signed at or near Paris, France (including many after WWI and WWII), nine are actually known as the .Treaty of Paris.: Seven Years. War (1763), American Revolutionary War (1783), French-Swede War (1810), France vs Sixth Coalition (1814), Battle of Waterloo (1815), Crimean War (1856), Spanish-American War (1898), union of Bessarabia and Romania (1920), establishment of European Coal and Steel Community (1951).

    299. Robert Todd Lincoln (Abraham Lincoln.s oldest son) was in Washington DC during his father.s assassination as well as during President Garfield.s assassination, and he was in Buffalo NY when President McKinley was assassinated.

    300. The city of Venice stands on about 120 small islands.

    301. The past-tense of the English word .dare. is .durst..
    Comments

    1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
    2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
    3. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
    4. The average person.s left hand does 56% of the typing.
    5. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
    6. There are more chickens than people in the world.
    7. 2/3 of the world.s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
    8. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is .screeched..
    9. On a Canadian two-dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building
    10. is an American flag.
    11. All of the clocks in the movie .Pulp Fiction. are stuck on 4:20.
    12. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
    13. .Dreamt. is the only English word that ends in the letters .mt..
    14. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5.00 bill.
    15. Almonds are a member of the peach family.
    16. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies. room during a dance.
    17. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
    18. There are only 4 words in the English language which end in .dous.: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
    19. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
    20. An ostrich.s eye is bigger than its brain.
    21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
    22. In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
    23. Al Capone.s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
    24. The characters Bert & Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra.s .It.s a Wonderful Life..
    25. A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
    26. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds.
    27. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
    28. It.s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON.T try this at work!)
    29. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
    30. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
    31. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
    32. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. (Presbyterian)
    33. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
    34. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
    35. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
    36. A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
    37. A polar bear.s skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.
    38. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn.t wear pants.
    39. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
    40. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
    41. Shakespeare invented the words .assassination. and .bump..
    42. Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes on one foot.
    43. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white..
    44. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
    45. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
    46. The sentence .the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog. uses every
    47. letter in the English language.
    48. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.
    49. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.
    50. The words racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.
    51. A snail can sleep for 3 years.
    52. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
    53. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. (Does that one really surprise any of us?)
    54. Vatican City is the smallest country in the world with a population of 1000
    55. & a size of 108.7 acres.
    56. .I am.. is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
    57. No president of the United states was an only child.
    58. And last and definitely most important:
    59. The average chocolate bar has 8 insects. legs in it.

    Comments

    Valentines Day Love Quotes by Shakespeare




    "They do not love that do not show their love."


    "The course of true love never did run smooth."

    "So long as I can breathe or I can see
    so long lives your love which gives life to me."


    "When you depart from me sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave."


    "Love from one side hurts, but love from two sides heals."


    "Love goes to love like schoolboys from their books. But love from love, towards school
    with heavy looks."

    "Love looks not with eyes, but with the mind."

    "My only love sprung from my only hate."

    "A friend is one who knows who you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you
    have become, and still gently allows you to grow."


    "So dear I love him that with him, all deaths I could endure. Without him, live no life."


    "When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew."


    "Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares."


    "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."


    "They do not love that do not show their love.
    The course of true love never did run smooth.
    Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love".


    "I'll follow you and make a heaven out of hell, and I'll die by your hand which I love so
    well"


    "Love goes toward love. "


    "Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better. "


    "Now join your hands, and with your hands your hearts. "


    "Doubt thou the stars are fire;
    Doubt that the sun doth move;
    Doubt truth to be a liar;
    But never doubt I love. "

    William Shakespeare

    Comments

    Amazing! But True!!!

    6 glasses of water (1 litre) - Astonishing Performance God has given us plenty and free water. Without spending on medicine, tablets, injections, diagnosis, Doctor fees, etc., just by drinking pure water, the following diseases will be cured. You can never believe before practising. Let us see the list of diseases being cured by this therapy.

    Diseases cured by Drinking water
    1. Headache
    2. Urogenital diseases
    3. Blood Pressure/Hyper Tension
    4. Hyper acidity
    5. Anaemia
    6. Gastro-enteritis
    7. Rheumatism
    8. Dysentry
    9. General Paralysis
    10. Rectal Piodapse
    11. Obesity
    12. Constipation
    13. Arthritis
    14. Hostorthobics
    15. Sinusitis
    16. Diabetes
    17. Tachycardia
    18. Eye diseases
    19. Giddiness
    20. Opthelmic Haemorrhage & Opthalmia (reddish eye)
    21. Cough
    22. Irregular Menstruation
    23. Asthma
    24. Leucamia
    25. Bronchitis
    26. Uterine cancer
    27. Pulminory Tuberculosis (T.B.)
    28. Breast cancer
    29. Meningitis
    30. Laryngitis
    31. Kidney stones

    How does pure water act?
    Consuming ordinary drinking water by the right method purifies human body. It renders the colon more effective by forming new fresh blood, known in medical terms as Haematopaises. That the mucousal folds of the colon and intestines are activated by this method, is an undisputed fact, just as the theory that new fresh blood is produced by the mucousal fold.
    If the colon is cleaned then the nutrients of the food taken several times a day will be absorbed and by the action of the mucousal folds they are turned into fresh blood. The blood is all important in curing ailments and restoring health, and for this water should be consumed in a regular pattern

    How to do this water therapy?
    1) Early morning after you get up from bed (without even brushing your teeth) drink 1.50 litres of water i.e., 5 ? to 6 ? glasses.

    Better to premeasure 1.50 litres of water. Let us all know that our ancestors termed this therapy as "Usha Paana Chikitsa". You may wash your face thereafter.

    2) Here it is very essential to note that nothing else - neither drinks nor solid food of any sort - should be taken within 1? hours before and after drinking this 1.50 litres of water.

    3) It is also to be strictly observed that no Alcoholic drinks should be taken the previous night.

    4) If required, boiled and filtered water may be used for this purpose. Is it possible to drink 1.50 litres of water at one time?

    1) To begin with, one may find it difficult to drink 1.50 litres of water at one time, but one will get used to it gradually.

    Initially, while practising you may drink four glasses first and the balance two glasses after a gap of two minutes.

    Initially you may find the necessity to urinate 2 to 3 times within an hour, but it will become normal after sometime.

    By research and experience, the following diseases are observed to be cured with this therapy within the indicated days as below

    Constipation: 1 day
    Acidity: 2 days
    Diabetes: 7 days
    BP & Hypertension: 4 weeks
    Cancer: 4 weeks
    Pulminory TB: 3 months

    Note:
    It is advised that persons suffering from Arthritis or Rheumatism should practise this therapy thrice a day, i.e., morning, midday and night, 1 hours before meals - for one week; and twice a day subsequently till the disease is cured.

    We make an earnest request that the above method should be read and practised carefully. Please spread this message to your friends, relatives and neighbours - it is a great service to the humanity. By God's grace all should lead healthy life.



    Comments



    If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million who will not survive the week.


    If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pains of starvation, you are ahead of 500 million people around the world.


    If you can express your beliefs without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are more blessed than almost three billion people in the world.


    If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world.


    If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the worlds wealthy.


    If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.


    If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.


    If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all.
    Comments

    If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense my advice now.

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in twenty years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you cannot grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

    Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blind-side you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

    Do one thing every day that scares you.

    Sing.

    Don't be reckless with other people's hearts . Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

    Floss.

    Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

    Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

    Stretch.

    Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year-olds I know still don't.

    Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they are gone.

    Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

    Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

    Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

    Read directions, even if you don't follow them.

    Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

    Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

    Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get , the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

    Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

    Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

    Travel.

    Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

    Respect your elders.

    Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

    Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more then its worth.

    But trust me on the sunscreen.

    By: Mary Schmich
    Chicago Tribune
    Comments

    Weird Facts - Truth

    THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW
    YOU DIDN'T KNOW




    Did you know...

    It is impossible to lick your elbow.



    A crocodile can't stick its tongue out.



    A shrimp's heart is in its head.




    In a study of 200,000 ostriches
    over a period of 80 years,
    no one reported a single case where
    an ostrich buried its head in the sand.



    It is physically impossible
    for pigs to look up into the sky.



    A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.



    More than 50% of the people in the world
    have never made or received a telephone call.



    Horses can't vomit.



    The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick"
    is said to be the toughest tongue twister
    in the English language.



    If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
    If you try to suppress a sneeze,
    you can rupture a blood vessel
    in your head or neck and die.
    If you keep your eyes open by force,
    they can pop out.



    Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months,
    two rats could have over a million descendants.



    Wearing headphones for just an hour
    will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700
    times.


    --
    Update: "Brandon" writes:
    THis is NOT true....i Actually work in a Chemist lab and just to test out this theory i had my girl friend with me swabbed her ears tested for bactiria had her listen to headphones for 2 hours swabbed again and there was a 0% increase in Bactirea
    --


    If the government has no knowledge of aliens,
    then why does Title 14, Section 1211
    of the Code of Federal Regulations,
    implemented on July 16, 1969,
    make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact
    with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?



    In every episode of Seinfeld
    there is a Superman somewhere.


    A duck's quack doesn't echo,
    and no one knows why.


    --
    Note from Brian Kai :
    A duck's "quack" doesn't echo because it's resonant/anti-resonant. It is also only a
    certain sound that they make that will not echo. The non-echoing sound mentioned is used
    for inter-species location, while flying or otherwise. It's true that no one knows why
    they would need this ability but it is thought to be a "fluke" of nature. The study of
    anti-resonant sound came from the study of mallards. One of the more intriguing aspects of
    anti-resonance is the possible use in restaurantes and cars. Restaurantes could use
    anti-resonance in private booths to keep them "private". Cars could use anti-resonance to
    completely silence the engine. Hope you find this interesting. :)
    --



    --
    Note from Catie :
    An english university has proved that a ducks quack does echo! this was done to persuade
    applicants that science isnt all that boring.
    --



    --
    Note from "Kristin"
    Me and my 2 sisters can
    all lick our elbows...though one can lick only one
    of her elblows. (Pictures Attached to Page)
    --




    23% of all photocopier faults worldwide
    are caused by people sitting on them
    and photocopying their butts.


    Most lipstick contains fish scales.



    Like fingerprints,
    everyone's tongue print is different.


    Over 75% of people who read this
    will try to lick their elbow.


    ------

    And You Thought YOU Knew EVERYTHING.


    Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

    Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid
    airborne particles resulting from the flush.

    The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

    No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

    --- Note from a visitor ---
    today i folded a normal notebook piece of paper in half 8 times!
    and im mexikan and that comes to show that we are not stupid and that i can
    prove stuff when i disagree!
    ---------------------------

    --- Reply to this note from another visitor (Dan) ---
    your origional 'saying' that paper can not be folded in half more than 7x is
    correct. This applies to a perfect square piece of paper. Notebook paper is
    not a perfect square!
    So much for "Mexikan's" remark
    ---------------------------

    please post this in the facts thing

    Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

    You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

    Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

    The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

    The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.

    A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

    American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.

    Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

    Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

    The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

    Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

    The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

    Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

    Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

    --
    Note: norah" says: great site,i just wanted to write
    in and let you know Marilyn Monroe did NOT have six toes. this rumor is totally
    false,it started due to lighting and camera angles in a
    particular photo. Ms. Monroe had 10 toes perfectly intact. thanks! (o=
    --

    All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being
    seen wearing them in public.

    Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

    Pearls melt in vinegar.

    Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

    The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

    It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

    A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

    The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

    Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second was William Jefferson Clinton.

    Turtles can breathe through their butts.

    Butterflies taste with their feet.

    In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world's nuclear weapons combined.

    On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

    On average people fear spiders more than death.

    Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

    Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

    Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

    Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

    It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

    The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

    --
    "Lauren" says:
    http://www.indiana.edu/~libweb/campus/libsink.html
    it confirms the fact that the indiana university library is NOT sinking...i go
    to IU and i know for a fact this is a myth.
    --

    A snail can sleep for three years.

    No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

    Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

    Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. SCARY!!!

    The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

    All polar bears are left handed.

    In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

    TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

    "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

    If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She would stand seven feet, two inches tall. Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

    A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

    The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

    Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.


    -----------------------

    1. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

    2. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt"

    ---
    Note From: "mia harms"
    "unkempt" is one, pre-empt" (verb form) is another
    ---

    3. Almonds are members of the peach family.

    4. The symbol on the "pound" key (#) is called an octothorpe.

    5. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

    6. Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

    7. The word "set" has more definitions than any other word in the English language.

    8. "Underground" is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters "und."

    Update from Keith : - UNDERFUND also begins and ends in UND.

    9. There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

    10. The longest word in the English language, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.

    11. The only other word with the same amount of letters is its plural: pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosesl.

    12. The longest place-name still in use is Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwe-nuakit natahu, a New Zealand hill.

    13. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reinade los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size,L.A.

    14. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

    15. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

    16. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a belly button. It was eliminated when he was sewn up after surgery.

    17. Telly Savalas and Louis Armstrong died on their birthdays. (so did Shakespeare, added by Chaise)

    18. Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

    19. The muzzle of a lion is like a fingerprint - no two lions have the same pattern of whiskers.

    21. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.

    23. There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters, "therein": the,there, he, in, rein, her, here, ere, therein, herein.

    24. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.

    26. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. *comment below*

    27. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

    28. Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

    30. The letters KGB stand for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti

    31. 'Stewardesses' is the longest English word that is typed with only the left hand.

    33. The combination "ough" can be pronounced in nine different ways; the following sentence contains them all: "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."

    34. The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.

    35. Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does arsenious, meaning "containing arsenic."

    36. Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian seal for that reason.

    37. Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.

    38. The word "Checkmate" in chess comes from the Persian phrase "Shah Mat," which means "the king is dead."

    39. The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

    -----

    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
    produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.


    (Hardly seems worth it.)


    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas
    s produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

    (Now that's more like it!)


    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out
    to the body to squirt blood 30 feet...

    (O.M.G.!)



    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

    (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)



    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it
    starves to death. (Creepy.)

    (I'm still not over the pig.)


    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

    (Do not try this at home........ maybe at work.)


    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
    body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

    ("Honey, I'm home. What the......?!")


    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
    length of a football field.

    (30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)



    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)



    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

    (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)



    Butterflies taste with their feet.

    (Something I always wanted to know.)


    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

    (Hmmmmmm........)


    Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer
    than left-handed people.

    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)



    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

    (OK, so that would be a good thing....)


    A cat's urine glows under a black light.

    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)



    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

    (I know some people like that.)




    Starfish have no brains.

    (I know some people like that too.)




    Polar bears are left-handed.

    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer...)



    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
    pleasure.

    (What about that pig??)

    ---
    Comment by Dave :
    Bonobo chimpanzees are also known to have sex for pleasure. Humans
    and Bonobos are, however, the only two species of primates (out of 180 )
    that have sex facing each other. It's noteworthy
    that we also share over 98% of our genes with Bonobos.
    ---

    -------------------------

    *comments*

    Daniel Writes:

    "Scientists have long since proven that goldfish have quite long memories. They are
    capable of learning to use lever systems to release food into the tank, and remember the exact
    procedure after not having used it for several days.

    This myth is brought about by the belief that goldfish will eat until they die. In actual
    fact, what kills the goldfish is excess food rotting in the tank / bowl, which releases
    toxic ammonia."

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    MORE

    -----------------------------------------------------------------

    That...


    The liquid inside young coconuts
    can be used as a substitute for

    Blood plasma.

    No piece of paper can be folded in half

    more than seven (7) times.

    Donkeys kill more people annually

    than plane crashes.

    You burn more calories sleeping

    than you do watching television.


    Oak trees do not produce acorns

    until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

    The first product to have a bar code

    was Wrigley's gum.


    The King of Hearts is the only king

    WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE


    American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987
    by eliminating one (1) olive

    from each salad served in first-class.

    Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

    (Since Venus is normally associated with women,
    what does this tell you!)

    Apples, not caffeine,

    are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.


    Most dust particles in your house are made from

    DEAD SKIN!
    The first owner of the Marlboro Company
    died of lung cancer.

    So did the first "Marlboro Man."

    Walt Disney was afraid

    OF MICE!


    PEARLS MELT

    IN VINEGAR!

    The three most valuable brand names on earth:
    Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

    It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...

    but, not downstairs.


    A duck's quack doesn't echo,

    and no one knows why.

    Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush
    be kept at least six (6) feet away from
    a toilet to avoid airborne particles
    resulting from the flush.

    And the best for last.....

    Turtles can breathe through their butts.
    Comments


    If you try to fail and succeed, what have
    you done?

    How is it one careless match can start a
    forest fire, but it takes a whole box to
    start a campfire?

    Why is the time when the traffic is slowest
    called rush-hour?

    What's the speed of dark?

    If physics can predict lottery numbers,
    why are they still working?

    If you run backwards will you gain weight?

    If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to
    buy her friends?

    What happens when you get scared
    half-to-death twice?

    Can a blind person feel blue?

    How can a house burn up when it burns
    down?

    Are you telling the truth when you lie in
    bed?

    If your vacuum cleaner really sucks, is it a
    bad thing?

    How do you know when a Smurf
    suffocates?

    Despite the cost of living, why does it
    remain so popular?

    If a word in a dictionary is misspelled, how
    would you know?

    In Chinese why are the words for crisis
    and opportunity the same?

    Why does X stand for a kiss?

    Why does O stand for a hug?

    Why is the alphabet in that order?

    How does skating on thin ice get you into
    hot water?

    Why are they called stands when there
    made for sitting?

    Doesn't expecting the unexpected make
    the unexpected expected?

    When cheese gets its picture taken what
    does it say?

    Why are they called non-stick pans? Is
    there a law saying your not allowed to put
    sticks in them?

    Why are a wise-man and a wise-guy
    opposites?

    If work is so terrific how come they have
    to pay you to do it?

    Should crematoriums give discounts for
    those who died in fires?

    Is it possible to have a civil-war?

    If the #2 pencil the most popular, why is it
    still #2?

    Do tea makers have coffee breaks?

    Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

    Why do they announce power shortages
    on TV?

    Do you need a silencer when you shoot a
    mime?

    Why do you press harder on the
    remote-control when you know the
    battery is dead?

    How can batteries die?

    If its zero degrees tonight, and tomorrow
    its meant to be twice as cold, how cold
    will it be?

    Why are buildings called buildings when
    there finished? Shouldn't they be called
    builts?

    Why is abbreviated such a long word?

    Why is it that when you tell a man there
    are 400 billion stars he will believe you, but
    when you tell him there's wet paint he has
    to touch it?

    Who's cruel idea was it to put a 'S' in 'lisp'?


    Do you find it unnerving that what doctors
    do is called 'practice'?

    Would a fly without wings be called a
    walk?

    If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it
    homeless or naked?

    Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

    Why do they sterilize needles for lethal
    injections?

    Comments

    Does your name begin with: A - You are not

    >>particularly romantic, but you are interested in
    >>action. You mean business. With you, what you see is

    >>what you get. You have no patience for flirting and
    >>can't be authored with someone who is trying to be
    >>coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an
    >>up-front person. You often don't get hints & you
    >>never pass any. Your mate's physical attractiveness
    is
    >>important to you. You find the chase and challenge
    of
    >>the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate, as well

    >>as being much more adventurous than you appear;
    >>however, you do not go around advertising these
    >>qualities. Your physical needs are your primary
    >>concern. You tend to be very selfish, & not very
    >>emotional. You and your needs matter most. Others
    >>& their feelings come second. Your choices aren't
    >>very good & can only lead to trouble. You are very
    >>self satisfied & egoistic.

    ____________________________________________________________________

    >>

    >>
    2) Does your name begin with: B - You give off

    >>vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced,
    >>wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive
    gifts
    >>as an statement of the affection of your lover. You
    >>want to be pampered and know how to pamper your
    mate.
    >>You are private in your statement of endearments,
    and
    >>particular when it comes to love. You will hold off
    >>until everything meets with your approval. You can
    >>control your appetite & feelings. You require new
    >>sensations and experiences. You are willing to
    >>experiment.

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>

    >>
    >>
    3) Does your name begin with: C - You are a
    >>very social individual, and it is important to you
    to
    >>have a relationship. You require closeness and
    >>togetherness. You want the object of your affection
    to
    >>be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see
    your
    >>lover as a friend and companion. You are very
    sensual,
    >>needing someone to appreciate and almost worship
    you.
    >>When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability
    to
    >>hold out on affection until you receive this. You
    are
    >>an expert at controlling your desires and doing
    >>without.

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    4) Does your name begin with: D - Once you
    >>get it into your head that you want someone, you
    move
    >>full steam ahead in your suit. You do not give up
    your
    >>quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If
    someone
    >>has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly
    >>passionate, loyal, and intense in your
    involvement's,
    >>sometimes possessive and jealous. You are very sharp

    >>& talented often with a sense of humour. When
    >>people bother to look deep inside they cannot resist

    >>what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric
    and
    >>unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get
    >>jealous of other people and lose your temper fast.

    ___________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>

    5) Does your name begin with: E -
    >>Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a

    >>good listener, you have trouble relating. A person
    >>must be intellectually stimulating or you are not
    >>interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover
    and
    >>a companion. You hate disharmony and disruption, but

    >>you do enjoy a good argument once in a while - it
    >>seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the
    >>challenge is more important. But once you give your
    >>heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will

    >>fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes,in fact,
    you
    >>prefer a good book to a lover)

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    6)Does your name begin with: F - You are
    >>idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a
    >>pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can
    >>find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are
    >>very loyal. You are sensuous and privately
    passionate.
    >>Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and
    gallant.
    >>You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a
    >>favorite fantasy past time. You can be a very
    generous
    >>lover.

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    7)Does your name begin with: G - You are
    >>fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and
    >>your lover. You respond to a lover who is your
    >>intellectual equal or superior, and one who can
    >>enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how
    to
    >>reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at
    it
    >>meticulously. You can be extremely active-never
    tiring
    >>out. Your duties and responsibilities take
    precedence
    >>over everything else. You may have difficulty
    getting
    >>emotionally close to people.

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    8)Does your name begin with: H - You seek a
    >>mate who can enhance your zest for life, fun &
    >>everything you seek for. You will be very generous
    to
    >>your lover once you have attained a commitment. You
    >>are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts
    >>are actually an investment in your partner. Before
    the
    >>commitment, though, you tend to be very careful with

    >>your every move and equally cautious in your
    >>involvements often as you believe that you have to
    >>look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient

    >>lover. You will hold off till everything meets your
    >>full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard to
    >>satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not
    influentuable,
    >>you always stand your ground. People can always
    count
    >>on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a
    dreamer
    >>w/ a passion for life.
    >>_____________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    9)Does your name begin with: I - You have a
    >>great need to be loved, appreciated... even
    >>worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and
    >>pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend hours

    >>just touching , feeling & exploring. You look for
    >>lovers who know what they are doing. You are not
    >>interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants
    a
    >>tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your
    >>desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and

    >>try new modes of statement. You bore easily and thus

    >>require adventure and change. Your commitments don't

    >>last very long & you often tend to stray. Loyalty
    >>is not one of your strong points. You are more
    sensual
    >>than sexual, but you are sometimes downright
    lustful.

    _________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    10)Does your name begin with: J - You are
    >>blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When
    >>used for a good cause there is nothing to stop you,
    >>except maybe that they aren't always used for the
    >>good. (you could danced all night.) You respond to
    the
    >>thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating
    >>game. You can carry on great romances in your head.
    At
    >>heart you are a roamer and need to set out on your
    own
    >>every so often. You will carry on long-distance
    >>relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need

    >>to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured
    >>deep within.

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    11)Does your name begin with: K - You are
    >>secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very
    sexy,
    >>sensual, and passionate, but you do not let on to
    >>this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of
    your
    >>nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the
    >>nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the
    >>little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any

    >>game, and take your love life very seriously. You
    >>don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for

    >>the right person to come along. You are very
    generous
    >>& giving, often selfless. You are kind natured
    >>& sweet, which is found to be attractive by many.
    >>You are a good friend.


    ______________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    >>
    12)Does your name begin with: L - You can be very

    >>romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a
    >>partner is of paramount importance to you. You are
    >>free in your statement of love and are willing to
    >>take chances, try new sexual experiences and
    partners,
    >>provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on.

    >>You must feel that your partner is intellectually
    >>stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to

    >>sustain the relationship. You require loving,
    >>cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're
    being
    >>appreciated.

    >>
    13)Does your name begin with: M - You are emotional

    >>and intense. When involved in a relationship, you
    >>throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you;
    >>there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and

    >>rave someone who is equally passionate and intense.
    >>You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try

    >>anything and everything. Your supply of energy is
    >>inexhaustible. You also enjoy mothering your mate.
    You
    >>often have the greatest love affairs all by
    yourself,
    >>in your head. You are very imaginative.

    ___________________________________________________________________

    >>

    >>
    >>
    14)Does your name begin with: N - You may
    >>appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know
    that
    >>appearances can lie. When it comes to sex, you are
    no
    >>novice but something of a skilled technician. You
    can
    >>easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut
    from
    >>insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of
    love.
    >>You can be highly critical of you mate, seeking
    >>perfection in both of you. It is not easy to find
    >>someone who can meet your standards. You have
    >>difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to
    >>lovers. You are often selfish, thinking you are
    always
    >>right no matter what. You never give in. Winning is
    >>your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget
    >>friends and family and you live for the moment.

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    15)Does your name begin with: O - You are
    >>very interested in fun activities yet secretive and
    >>shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of
    >>your energy into making money and/or seeking wer.
    You
    >>can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You
    are
    >>a passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the
    same
    >>qualities from your mate. Love is serious business;
    >>thus you demand intensity, diversity, and is willing

    >>to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions
    >>turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.


    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    16)Does your name begin with: P - You are
    >>very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't
    >>think of doing anything that might harm your image
    or
    >>reputation. Appearances count. Therefore, you
    require
    >>a good-looking partner. You also require an
    >>intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your

    >>partner as your enemy... a good fight stimulates
    those
    >>vibes. You are relatively free of hang-ups. You are
    >>willing to experiment and try new ways of doing
    >>things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy
    >>flirting and need a good deal of physical
    >>gratification.

    ___________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>

    17)Does your name begin with: Q - You
    >>require constant activity and stimulation. You have
    >>tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a
    >>partner to keep up with you. You are unenthusiastic
    >>lover and tend to be attracted to people because of
    >>their ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and
    >>flowers, and lots of conversation to turn you on and

    >>keep you going.

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    18)Does your name begin with: R - You are a
    >>no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need
    >>someone who can keep pace with you and who is your
    >>intellectual equal-the smarter the better. You are
    >>turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a
    great
    >>body. However, physical attractiveness is very
    >>important to you. You have to be proved to be worthy

    >>for a partner. You are privately very sexy, but you
    do
    >>not show this outwardly. If your new lover is not
    all
    >>that great in *** games, you are willing to serve as
    a
    >>teacher. *** is important; you can be a very
    demanding
    >>playmate.

    __________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    19)Does your name begin with: S - For you,
    >>it is pleasure before business. You can be
    >>romantically idealistic to a fault and is capable of

    >>much sensuality. But you never loose control of your

    >>emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick
    like
    >>glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You tend

    >>to be very selfish often regarding yourself as the
    >>only human being on the planet. You like being the
    >>centre of attention. You are very caring sensitive,
    >>private & s'times very passive. Turned on by soft
    >>lights, romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the
    >>nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the
    >>little tricks of the trade, can play any role,or any

    >>game, and take your love life very seriously. You
    >>don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for

    >>the right person to come along. You are very
    generous
    >>& giving, often selfless. You are kind natured
    >>& sweet, which is found to be attractive by many.
    >>You are a good friend.

    ____________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    20)T - You are very sensitive, private
    >>& s'times very passive. You like s'one who takes
    >>the lead. You get turned on by music, softlights &
    >>romantic thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in
    >>& out of love soon. When in love you are romantic,
    >>idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having
    >>your senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated
    >>& teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your
    >>relationships fit your dreams, all in your own head.

    >>Once you put your mind to s'thing you manage to
    stand
    >>by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very
    >>good at expressing your feelings. You like things
    your
    >>own way. You do not like change, you like to hold on

    >>to things. This may not always be good because if
    >>given an opportunity things may develop into great
    >>things. You work your way to the top. Attention must

    >>be given to what others say because even though you
    >>don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to
    >>save your life.

    _____________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    21)U - You are enthusiastic & at your
    >>happiest when in love. When not in love your in love

    >>w/ love a/ways looking for s'one to adore. You see
    >>romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs
    >>adventure, excitement & freedom. You enjoy giving
    >>gifts & looking good. You are willing to put
    >>others feelings above yours.

    ____________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>

    22)V - You are individualistic &
    >>you need freedom ,space & excitement. You wait
    >>till you know s'one well before committing yourself.

    >>Knowing s'one means psyching her/him out. You feel a

    >>need to get into his/her head to see what makes him
    >>tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You
    >>believe that age is no barrier. You are good at
    >>responding to danger, fear & suspense.

    ____________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    23)W - You are very proud, determined &
    >>refuses to take no for an answer when it come to
    love.
    >>Your ego is at stake all the time. You are
    >>romantic,idealistic, often in love w/ love itself,
    not
    >>seeing your partner for who she or he really is. You

    >>feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of
    >>yourself into a relationship. Nothing is too good
    for
    >>your lover. You like playing love games.

    _____________________________________________________________________

    >>
    24)X - You need constant stimulation
    >>because you get bored quickly. You can handle more
    >>than 1 relationship at a time w/ ease. You can't
    shut
    >>off your mind. You can do 2 things at once. You are
    >>very talented.

    _____________________________________________________________________

    >>25)Y - You are sensual & very independent. If you
    >>can't have it your way, you will forget the whole
    >>thing. You want to control your relationships which
    >>doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical
    >>stimulation. However if you can make money you will
    >>give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment.
    You
    >>have a need to prove yourself the best. You want
    >>feedback on your performance. You are open,
    >>stimulating & romantic.

    ____________________________________________________________________

    >>
    >>
    26) Z - You are very romantic but somehow
    >>feels that to love means to suffer. You wind up
    >>serving your mate & attracting people who have
    >>unusual trouble. You see yourself as a lover's
    >>saviour.



    Comments

    Life... It's all about the asses!

    you're either covering it,
    laughing it off,
    kicking it,
    kissing it,
    busting it,
    trying to get a piece of it,
    or behaving like one .
    Comments

    What tree did you fall from? Find your birthday, find your tree and then scroll down... This is really cool and somewhat accurate, also in line with Celtic astrology.

    Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree

    Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree

    Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree

    Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree

    Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree

    Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree

    Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree

    Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree

    Mar 21 - Oak Tree

    Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree

    Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree

    Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree

    Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree

    May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree

    May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree

    May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree

    Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree

    Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree

    Jun 24 - Birch Tree

    Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree

    Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree

    Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree

    Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree

    Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree

    Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree

    Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree

    Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree

    Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree

    Sep 23 - Olive Tree

    Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree

    Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree

    Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree

    Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree

    Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree

    Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree

    Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree

    Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree

    Dec 22 - Beech Tree

    Dec 23 to Dec 31 - Apple Tree



    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    APPLE TREE (Love) - of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner, very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

    ASH TREE (Ambition) - uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent, talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.

    BEECH TREE (Creative) - has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)

    BIRCH TREE (Inspiration) - vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly,pretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

    CEDAR TREE (Confidence) - of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others,self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

    CHESTNUT TREE (Honesty) - of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.

    CYPRESS TREE (Faithfulness) - strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.

    ELM TREE (Noble-Minded) - pleasant shape, tasteful clothes, loudest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

    FIG TREE (Sensibility) - very strong, a bit self-willed,independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.

    FIR TREE (Mysterious) - extraordinary taste, dignity, sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious, uncontested lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable.

    HAZELNUT TREE (Extraordinary) - charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.

    HORNBEAM TREE (Good Taste) - of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

    LIME TREE (Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.

    MAPLE TREE (Independent) - no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

    OAK TREE (Brave) - robust nature, courageous, strong, unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

    OLIVE TREE (Wisdom) - loves sun, warmth and kind feelings, reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive, empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

    PINE TREE (Particular) - loves agreeable company, very robust, knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.

    POPLAR TREE (Uncertainty) - looks very decorative, not very self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

    ROWAN TREE (Sensitivity) - full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

    WALNUT TREE (Passion) - unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

    WEEPING WILLOW (Melancholy) - beautiful but full of melancholy, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful, loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition, suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner


    Comments

    If your father is a poor man, it is your fate but,
    if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your
    stupidity.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    A bus station is where a bus stops.
    A train station is where train stops.
    On my desk, I have a work station....
    what more can I say..........
    ----------------------------------------------------
    If it's true that we are here to help others,
    then, what exactly are the others here for?
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Since light travels faster than sound, people appear
    bright until you hear them speak.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ?
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Money is not everything.
    There's Mastercard & Visa.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    One should love animals.
    They are so tasty.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Save water.
    Shower with your girl friend.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Love the neighbor.
    But don't get caught.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
    And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Every man should marry.
    After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The wise never marry.
    and when they marry they become otherwise.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Success is a relative term.
    It brings so many relatives.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Never put off the work till tomorrow
    what you can put off today.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Love is photogenic
    It needs darkness to develop
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Children in backseats cause accidents
    Accidents in backseats cause children
    ----------------------------------------------------
    "Your future depends on your dreams"
    So go to sleep
    ----------------------------------------------------
    There should be a better way to start a day than
    waking up every morning
    ----------------------------------------------------
    "Hard work never killed anybody"
    But why take the risk !
    ----------------------------------------------------
    "Work fascinates me"
    I can look at it for hours !
    ----------------------------------------------------
    God made relatives.
    Thank God we can choose our friends.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    When two's company, three's the result !
    ----------------------------------------------------
    A dress is like a barbed fence
    It protects the premises without restricting the view
    ----------------------------------------------------
    The more you learn, the more you know,
    The more you know, the more you forget
    The more you forget, the less you know
    So.. why learn.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Love doesn't have to have a happy ending, 'coz love
    doesn't have to end at all.
    Comments

    > Is your birthday day 1 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are very curious and dedicative. When you are interested in
    >something, everything else has to wait. This is your quality. But if you
    >learn to be more patient and complete what you have started, you will be
    >successful in life.
    > Your Love
    > You believe in love at first sight. You won't wait to learn more
    >about the person. Vise versa, people who fail to impress you will hardly
    >get a chance to be your friend. Your emotion is on the extreme. You can
    >only love or hate, nothing in between and this often shows in your
    >expression. Try not to end a relationship in a quarrel.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 2 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You have great common sense but usually fail to follow through. This
    >might happens because you are too busy with your mission and shut
    >yourself from the outside world. You are clever and profound so there's a
    >slight chance for self-control problem.
    > Your Love
    > Your love progress slowly, and quietly. You seem to be contented
    >with your unrequited love. Your are a romantic and loyal lover.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 3 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > Although you are innocent and romantic but your expression often
    >mislead others that you are an active, fun loving kid. Because of your
    >double personality, it's hard for others to really know the real you. You
    >are careful and patient.
    > Your Love
    > Your love is the greatest which often surprises others. No one can
    >bring you to light when you are in love. Your confidence
    > might lead you to the track your parents disagree.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 4 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy.
    >But you often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid.
    >People might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be around.
    >You are cheerful and friendly.
    > Your Love
    > Still water runs deep, that's what you are. You always surprise
    >others with your new character when you are in love. Your love trap often
    >comes unexpectedly and your love life is full of surprises.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 5 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > Although you are on the quiet side, but you enjoy excitement and
    >changes. Routine is something you cannot stand. Because of your extreme
    >confidence, you hardly ask others for opinion. You believe in leading your
    >own life, and you have got the gift in doing so.
    > Your Love
    > Nothing can stop you from making progress in your love life. Once
    >you are in love, you feel the ownership of your lover. A third party can
    >only makes your jealousy becomes worse.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 6 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are generous with people in need, sometimes to an extreme that
    >people find you nosey. Your hidden courage and dedication often surprise
    >others. Your imagination is extremely unique.
    > Your Love
    > Your love life is on the smooth track because it grows from
    >friendship. Although you may not make a sweet lover but your sincerity
    >bring happiness to your couple.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 7 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are sensitive to changes around you but your feeling is hardly
    >expressed. You hate exaggerations. Under your quiet personality, you are
    >rather stubborn and self-centered. These qualities are the force behind
    >your extreme persistence.
    > Your Love
    > You have enormous courage to please your lover. Your relationship
    >often progress quickly.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 8 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You have pleasant and friendly personality. People look u to your
    >wit and imagination. You are unpredictable and hardly complete what you
    >started, which sometimes create negative impact to people around you.
    > Your Love
    > Falling in love becomes your routine. Most of the time you are
    >lucky. You fascinate people with good taste but you never have enough with
    >one. Although your love progresses very fast, it never lasts.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 9 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You often have problem in promoting yourself, just because you don't
    >know how to express your true self. On the other hand, you don't really
    >care what they think. This is why people misunderstand you until they
    >really get a chance to learn about your pleasant personality.
    > Opposite sex find you mysterious and worth searching. Your wit is
    >remarkable but sometimes you are too fast to follow.
    > Your Love
    > You won't reveal your feeling even after dreaming about the same
    >guy over and over. Your first love lasts forever. You are responsible to
    >the feeling of your lover. The chance to betray your lover is none. You
    >have luck with children.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 10 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are very capable. If you are a woman, you have high chance to be
    >a renowned workingwoman. If you are a man, your path to fame and honor is
    >near. As an innovator, you are not a good follower. You are good in
    >implementing your imagination and share it with
    > others. You are always well dressed.
    > Your Love
    > You often lose your love ones from being too jealous. You always
    >feel like you own the person you fall in love with and that often blows
    >your relationship.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 11 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are gracious, elegant and prudent. People admire your qualities
    >and some even become jealous of you. You are realistic, flexible and
    >adaptable. You are remarkably kind and moral person.
    > Your Love
    > You are willing to sacrifice yourself for the one you love. Your
    >lover will always have your gentleness, care and loyalty. You will always
    >be happy to hand around the one you love.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 12 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are friendly, humorous and full of energy. You are open-minded
    >and do not care for minor details. Your weak point is your hot temper.
    > Your Love
    > You are willing to start off in one-sided love affairs because you
    >strongly believe that you will eventually win his/her heart. On the other
    >hand, once you are together, you always want to do things your way, which
    >is often the fire starter. You usually run in and out of love quickly.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 13 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are sincere and easy going. Flattering and charming around are
    >not your style. You care so much for freedom that often leads you to the
    >difficult path. Because of your sincerity, most people find you easy to be
    >around although you are sometimes too straightforward.
    > Your Love
    > Your gentleness, care and sincerity make you an attractive person.
    >Eventhough you don't intend to be charming, but you naturally are,
    >especially in the eyes of opposite sex.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 14 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are so confident that sometimes you forget about the people
    >around you. If you have to be in one of the two teams, you will choose to
    >be in the winning team. On the other hand, you are kind and caring but
    >above all, you care for your own benefits. Your imagination is
    > unique and often gets implemented shortly after it comes across.
    > Your Love
    > You will not get soft with the one you don't really like, no matter
    >how hard he/she tries. But once you feel for someone you have chosen,
    >there's no getting back.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 15 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are outgoing and love to be at the center of attention. From
    >the outside, you may seem flashy, flirty, and tricky but your true self is
    >strong, full of hope to be the leader. When you
    > fail to convince someone, you will get frustrated, and perhaps let
    >your temper shows.
    > Your Love
    > You are emotional. Many can win your heart at once, but not for
    >long. This is why you hardly win a decent relationship.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 16 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You always follow the good and the right instead of listening to
    >your heart. Another word, you are a perfectionist. You care for every word
    >people say about you. You often seen isolated while you are, by nature,
    >curious and a dreamer who is ready to get over the edge to make
    > your dream comes true.
    > Your Love
    > You often fall in love with a person who is much different from you,
    >in age and other aspects. Your relationship grows on friendship. Love at
    >fist sight is not your style.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 17 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You neither want to be interfered nor have the desire to mess with
    >others' life. But you are friendly and occasionally a party animal. You
    >are always in a circle of friends. You often do things in your own way
    >that occasionally go beyond the acceptable limit. People may find you
    >childish and not very attractive in that sense.
    > Your Love
    > Your fun-loving character attracts opposite sex. Many of those are
    >great.You often find yourself trapped among a few great guys while you have
    >to choose only one.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 18 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > At first glance, people think you are quiet type of person. Actually
    >you are cheerful, but conditionally. You will show your joyful character
    >only in good mood. One the other hand, when you are moody, no one would
    >dare to be around. Because of your emotion fluctuation and frank character,
    >some find you hard to be around.
    > Your Love
    > You hardly show your feeling towards opposite sex no matter how much
    >you like him/her. Your partner also has similar character so your love
    >affairs often take quite a while to flourish. Time tells it all. Your
    >sincerity makes you very attractive.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 19 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are great in managing everything in your life and this is how
    >you gain respect from others. Because of this quality, you sometimes feel
    >that you are better than the rest. Extreme confidence might lead you to the
    >wrong path. You are a free bird and want to lead your
    > own life.
    > Your Love
    > You love life is rather different from others'. When you are in
    >love, nothing can stop you. You may often fight with your partner but, soon
    >after that, you will make up in a way that surprises others.
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 20 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are prudent, circumspect and take things seriously. Before you
    >make any move, you will think of a few alternatives that might take a
    >while. You are patient, imaginative and target oriented. You value
    >friendship more than anything else.
    > Your Love
    > You usually study your partner carefully before making any move. You
    >never demand anything beyond the natural quality of that person. Your
    >sincerity doesn't bring excitement in your love life but it brings deeply
    >grown relationship.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 21 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are curious and a true follower. You can please someone so much
    >that it seem like you are trying to charm that person. You hide your
    >disagreement under your smiling face. This is a charming quality of yours.
    > Your Love
    > You are quite unlucky in love. You are loved by someone you don't
    >like while your dream man is so far away. Your love life is occasionally
    >under turbulence. Sometimes you don't have the clear view of the guy in
    >your heart.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 22 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You have the boss character, but not a leader. Most people look up
    >to you for your capability and confidence although they find you quite
    >stubborn. You should listen more to others. You are a unique and charming
    >individual.
    > Your Love
    > You hardly take the moderate track. You either love or hate someone.
    >Whom you call friends are the chosen ones. If any of them betray you, you
    >won't let them get away without having hard time.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 23 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You never live your life in the way others want you to. You are an
    >independent individual who loves challenges and excitement. You are ready
    >to face with the result of your decision. You are usually the one your
    >friends count on.
    > Your Love
    > Because you love excitements, you occasionally get involved in
    >forbidden love affairs. You may fall in love with a married person and no
    >one can stop you from making progress. You are very charming, although
    >you might not realize it.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 24 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are very optimistic and that's why you always enjoy life. You
    >are gifted in entertaining others. Your friends love and trust you.
    >You'll be the first they come to when they are in need of someone to speak
    >their heart out.
    > Your Love
    > Sometimes you fall in love just because you want to be in love, not
    >that you really like that person. You always be seen as a sweet couple but
    >you can't really get over your love ones from past. Your partner is usually
    >crazy about you because you are remarkably charming and
    > romantic.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 25 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are a warrior. No obstacle can stop you from reaching your goal.
    >You always keep yourself busy. This quality plus your responsibility will
    >eventually bring you success.
    > Your Love
    > You adore your partner as the number one priority. You value your
    >love one
    > more than yourself. Your love is the greatest of all and your have
    >potential
    > to get married young.
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 26 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are always curious and responsive to changes. Routine life is
    >not the way you choose to live. Travelling is your favorite hobby because
    >excitement is what you are after.
    > Your Love
    > You will not stand being around the one you dislike. Your love comes
    >and goes quickly. You can be deeply in love but soon after you will be
    >looking around for the next one.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 27 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are sensitive and vulnerable. Tears often run down your cheeks
    >even when the matter is not that bad. This might be the result from being
    >to pessimistic. You might seem cold on the shell, but your inner self is a
    >kind loving person.
    > Your Love
    > You will be elegantly dressed, no matter how casually dressed your
    >date may be. You are emanding in love and sometimes to an unacceptable
    >extend.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 28 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are a capable person but you usually underestimate your own
    >ability. This is the cause of missing numbers of opportunity to step
    >forward. If you try to give yourself a chance, you can be successful in
    >life. Try to see things on the bright side and you will be happier than
    >ever.
    > Your Love
    > You are quite unlucky in love. The one in your arm is not the one in
    >your heart. Your love has so many ups and downs. You often chicken out
    >before seeing any progress in love.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 29 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You can trust your sixth sense. Life is exciting so routine job is
    >not your interest. You have great ideas and fantastic imagination. You
    >often feel tired of things and people around you.
    > Your Love
    > You can tell what's in the mind of another person just from looking
    >into his/her eyes. You are paranoid and jealous and these are the cause of
    >fights between you and your lover.
    > Sometimes the thing you believe in is just your imagination.
    >
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 30 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > You are always surrounded by a circle of friends. You are friendly
    >and fun to be with. Though you occasionally disappoint them by being
    >stubborn, but over all, they love your qualities.
    > Your Love
    > You want to have full control of your love and that's not a nice way
    >to treat your partner. You take your time in saying yes to his wedding
    >proposal or if you are a man, you will not propose anyone until you are
    >certainly confident which might take ages.
    >--------------------------------------------------------------------------
    >
    > Is your birthday day 31 of the month?
    > Your Life
    > Your emotion is hard to predict. You can be sad this minute and
    >happy in the next. People might find it difficult to follow your emotion
    >and understand you. You tend to take things seriously.
    > Your Love
    > You take your time to study a person before falling in love. Once
    >you decide that he or she is the one, no one can stop you from making
    >progress, even your partner.
    >
    >

    Comments

    >>>>Pick the month that u were born in and write it on the subject line
    when u forward this 2 every 1 u know including the person that sent
    it 2 u, they might understand you better.


    JANUARY
    Ambitious and serious
    Loves to teach and be taught
    Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
    Likes to criticize
    Hardworking and productive
    Smart, neat and organized
    Sensitive and has deep thoughts
    Knows how to make others happy
    Quiet unless excited or tensed
    Rather reserved
    Highly attentive
    Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
    Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
    Loves children
    Homely person
    Loyal
    Needs to improve Social abilities
    Easily jealous
    Very Stubborn

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    FEBRUARY
    Abstract thoughts
    Loves reality and abstract
    Intelligent and clever
    Changing personality
    Temperamental
    Quiet, shy and humble
    Low self esteem
    Honest and loyal
    Determined to reach goals
    Loves freedom
    Rebellious when restricted
    Loves aggressiveness
    Too sensitive and easily hurt
    Showing anger easily
    Dislike unnecessary things
    Loves making friends but rarely shows it
    Daring and stubborn
    Ambitious
    Realizing dreams and hopes
    Sharp
    Loves entertainment and leisure
    Romantic on the inside not outside
    Superstitious and ludicrous
    Spendthrift
    Learns to show emotions


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    MARCH
    Attractive personality
    Affectionate
    Shy and reserved Secretive
    Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic
    Loves peace and serenity
    Sensitive to others
    Loves to serve others
    Not easily angered
    Trustworthy
    Appreciative and returns kindness
    Observant and assesses others
    Revengeful
    Loves to dream and fantasize
    Loves traveling (yup!)
    Loves attention
    Hasty decisions in choosing partners (AHA!!!! I KNEW IT!!! )
    Loves home decors
    Musically Talented (uhm... now i doubt this message's credibility...
    HAHAHAHA!!! )
    Loves special things (uy, special ako... *tingin sa forehead kung may
    red dot* ay wala pala! di pala ako siopao! pero special child naman
    ako eh! HAHAHAHA!!!)
    Moody


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    APRIL
    Active and dynamic
    Decisive and haste but tends to regret
    Attractive and affectionate to oneself
    Strong mentality
    Loves attention
    Diplomatic
    Consoling
    Friendly and solves people's problems
    Brave and fearless
    Adventurous
    Loving and caring
    Suave and generous
    Emotional
    Aggressive
    Hasty
    Good memory
    Moving
    Motivate oneself and the others
    Sickness usually of the head and chest


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    MAY
    Stubborn and hard-hearted
    Strong-willed and highly motivated
    Sharp thoughts
    Easily angered
    Attracts others and loves attention
    Deep feelings
    Beautiful physically and mentally
    Firm Standpoint
    Needs no motivation
    Easily consoled
    Systematic (left brain)
    Loves to dream
    Strong clairvoyance
    Understanding
    Sickness usually in the ear and neck
    Good imagination
    Good physical
    Weak breathing
    Loves literature and the arts
    Loves traveling
    Dislike being at home
    Restless
    Not having many children
    Hardworking
    High spirited
    Spendthrift


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    JUNE
    Thinks far with vision
    Easily influenced by kindness
    Polite and soft-spoken
    Having lots of ideas
    Sensitive
    Active mind
    Hesitating
    Tends to delay
    Choosy and always wants the best
    Temperamental
    Funny and humorous
    Loves to joke
    Good debating skills
    Talkative
    Daydreamer
    Friendly
    Knows how to make friends
    Abiding
    Able to show character
    Easily hurt
    Prone to getting colds
    Loves to dress up
    Easily bored
    Fussy
    Seldom shows emotions
    Takes time to recover when hurt
    Brand conscious
    Executive
    Stubborn


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    JULY
    Fun to be with
    Secretive
    Difficult to fathom and to be understood
    Quiet unless excited or tensed
    Takes pride in oneself Has reputation
    Easily consoled
    Honest
    Concerned about people's feelings
    Tactful
    Friendly
    Approachable
    Emotional
    Temperamental and unpredictable
    Moody and easily hurt
    Witty and sparkly
    Not revengeful
    Forgiving but never forgets
    Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things
    Guides others physically and mentally
    Sensitive and forms impressions carefully
    Caring and loving
    Treats others equally
    Strong sense of sympathy
    Wary and sharp
    Judges people through observations
    Hardworking
    No difficulties in studying
    Loves to be alone
    Always broods about the past and the old friends
    Likes to be quiet
    Homely person
    Waits for friends
    Never looks for friends
    Not aggressive unless provoked
    Prone to having stomach and dieting problems
    Loves to be loved
    Easily hurt but takes long to recover

    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    AUGUST
    Loves to joke
    Attractive
    Suave and caring
    Brave and fearless
    Firm and has leadership qualities
    Knows how to console others
    Too generous and egoistic
    Takes high pride of oneself
    Thirsty for praises
    Extraordinary spirit
    Easily angered
    Angry when provoked
    Easily jealous
    Observant
    Careful and cautious
    Thinks quickly
    Independent thoughts
    Loves to lead and to be led
    Loves to dream
    Talented in the arts, music and defense
    Sensitive but not petty
    Poor resistance against illnesses
    Learns to relax
    Hasty and rusty
    Romantic
    Loving and caring
    Loves to make friends


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    SEPTEMBER
    Suave and compromising
    Careful, cautious and organized
    Likes to point out people's mistakes
    Likes to criticize
    Quiet but able to talk well
    Calm and cool
    Kind and sympathetic
    Concerned and detailed
    Trustworthy, loyal and honest
    Does work well
    Very confident
    Sensitive
    Thinking
    generous
    Good memory
    Clever and knowledgeable
    Loves to look for information
    Must control oneself when criticizing
    Able to motivate oneself
    Understanding
    Fun to be around
    Secretive
    Loves sports, leisure and traveling
    Hardly shows emotions
    Tends to bottle up feelings
    Choosy especially in relationships
    Loves wide things
    Systematic


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    OCTOBER
    Loves to chat
    Loves those who loves him
    Loves to takes things at the center
    Attractive and suave
    Inner and physical beauty
    Does not lie or pretend
    Sympathetic
    Treats friends importantly
    Always making friends
    Easily hurt but recovers easily
    Daydreamer
    Opinionated
    Does not care of what others think
    Emotional
    Decisive
    Strong clairvoyance
    Loves to travel, the arts and literature
    Soft-spoken, loving and caring
    Romantic
    Touchy and easily jealous
    Concerned
    Loves outdoors
    Just and fair
    Spendthrift and easily influenced
    Easily lose confidence
    Loves children


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    NOVEMBER
    Has a lot of ideas (yeah, most of the time naughty ideas nga eh...
    HAHAHAHA!!! )
    Difficult to fathom (in other words, profound daw kami )
    Thinks forward
    Unique and brilliant
    Extraordinary ideas
    Sharp thinking
    Fine and strong clairvoyance
    Can become good doctors (NO COMMENT... *taas kilay sabay irap...*)
    Dynamic in personality
    Secretive
    Inquisitive
    Knows how to dig secrets (HAHAHAHAHA!!!! )
    Always thinking
    Less talkative but amiable (uhm... less talkative daw... )
    Brave and generous
    Patient
    Stubborn and hard-hearted
    If there is a will, there is a way
    Determined
    Never give up
    Hardly becomes angry unless provoked
    Loves to be alone
    Thinks differently from others
    Sharp-minded
    Motivates oneself
    Does not appreciate praises
    High-spirited
    Well-built and tough
    Deep love and emotions
    Romantic
    Uncertain in relationships (uy, oo, lalo na pag yung prospective
    partner in mind eh 'hasty decisions when choosing partners' talagang
    magiging uncertain ka... )
    Homely (uy, di naman!!! )
    Hardworking
    High abilities
    Trustworthy
    Honest and keeps secrets
    Not able to control emotions
    Unpredictable


    > >----------------------------------------------------------------------

    DECEMBER
    Loyal and generous
    Patriotic
    Active in games and interactions
    Impatient and hasty
    Ambitious
    Influential in organizations
    Fun to be with
    Loves to socialize
    Loves praises (AS IN!!! )
    Loves attention (SUUUU-PER!!! )
    Loves to be loved
    Honest and trustworthy
    Not pretending
    Short tempered
    Changing personality
    Not egoistic (DUH!!! HINDI BA??? )
    Take high pride in oneself (SOBRA!!! )
    Hates restrictions
    Loves to joke
    Good sense of humor
    Logical

    Comments

    >
    >
    >What does your initial stand for?
    >
    > ................its a lesan mail.
    >Does your name begin with: A
    >U are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action.You
    >mean business. With you, what you see is what you get.You have no patience
    >for
    >flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute,
    >demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person. You often don't
    >get hints & you ever pass any. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your
    >partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult
    >to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling,wining, and
    >dining to know that you're being appreciated. Your mate'sphysical
    >attractiveness is important for you. You tend to be very Practical, & not
    >very emotional Your choices are very good & can only lead to trouble. You
    >are
    >very self satisfied & egoistic.
    >________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: B
    >You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and
    >dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an statement of the affection
    >of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate.
    >You are private in your statement of endearments, and particular when it
    >comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval.
    >You can control your appetite & feelings. You require new sensations and
    >experiences. You are willing to experiment.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: C
    >You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a
    >relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You want the object
    >of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your
    >lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, Needing someone to
    >appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have
    >the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.. You are an
    >expert at controlling your desires and doing without.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: D
    >Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full Steam
    >ahead in your suit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing
    >and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly
    >passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement's, sometimes possessive
    >and jealous. You are very sharp & talented often with sense of humour. When
    >people bother to look deep inside
    >they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and
    >unusual, having a free and open attitude. You get jealous of other people
    >and lose your temper .
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: E
    >Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you
    >have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you
    >are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion
    >You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once
    >in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge
    >is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are
    >uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book.
    >sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: F
    >You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look
    >for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed,
    >you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly,
    >you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic.
    >Dramatic love scenes are a favourite fantasy past time. You can be a very
    >generous lover.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: G
    >You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You
    >respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who
    >can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of
    >stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely
    >active-never tiring out. Your duties and
    >responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have
    >difficulty getting emotionally close to people.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: H
    >You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life ,fun & everything You
    >seek for. You will be very generous to your lover once you have Attained a
    >commitment. You are very affectionate & very strong. Your gifts are
    >actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you
    >tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your
    >involvement's often as you believe that you have to
    >look out for yourself. You are a sensual and patient lover. You will hold
    >off till everything meets your full approval. You are a perfectionist, hard
    >to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. Not influential, you always stand
    >your ground. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis.
    >You are a dreamer with/ a passion for life.
    >__________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: I
    >You have a great need to be loved, appreciated... even worshiped. You enjoy
    >luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You like necking spend
    >hours just touching feeling & exploring. You look for lovers who know what
    >they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur
    >wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires
    >satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of statement.
    >You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments
    >don't last very long & you often tend to stray.
    >Loyalty is not one of your strong points. You are more sensual than sexual,
    >but you are sometimes downright lustful.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: J
    >You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good
    >cause there is nothing to stop you, except maybe that they aren't
    >always used for the good. (you could dance all night.) You respond to the
    >thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on
    >great romances in your head. At heart you are a roamer and need to set out
    >on your own every so often. You will carry on long- distance relationships
    >with ease. You are idealistic and need
    >to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: K
    >You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual, and
    >passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will
    >this part of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the
    >nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the
    >trade, can play any role or any game, and take your
    >love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the patience to
    >wait for the right person to come along. You are very generous & giving,
    >often selfless. You are kind-natured & sweet, which is found to be
    >attractive by many. You are a good friend.
    >__________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: L
    >You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner
    >is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your statement of love
    >and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners,
    >provided it's all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that
    >your partner is intellectually stimulating,
    >otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You
    >require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being
    >appreciated.
    >"You require loving, cuddling, wining, and dining to know that you're being
    >appreciated ".
    >_______________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: M
    >You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy; but we know that Appearances
    >can lie. When it comes to sex, you are no novice but something of a skilled
    >technician. You can easily go to extremes, though, running the gamut from
    >insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love. You can be highly
    >critical of you mate, seeking perfection in both of you. It is not easy to
    >find someone who can meet your standards. You have difficulty expressing
    >emotions and drawing close to lovers. You are
    >often selfish, thinking you are always right no matter what. You never give
    >in.
    >Winning is your prime desire- at any cost. You often forget friends and
    >family and you live for the moment.
    >_______________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: N
    >You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you Throw
    >your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred.
    >You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and
    >intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and
    >everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered
    >and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You
    >often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in
    >your head. You are very imaginative.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: O
    >You are very interested in fun activities yet secretive and shy about your
    >desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and/or
    >seeking we. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a
    >passionate, compassionate lover, requiring the same qualities From your
    >mate. Love is serious business; thus you demand intensity, diversity and is
    >willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes
    >your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.
    >__________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: P
    >You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of Doing
    >anything that might harm your image or Reputation. Appearances count.
    >Therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an
    >intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your
    >enemy...a good fight stimulates those vibes. You are relatively free of
    >hang-ups.You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things.You
    >are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good
    >deal of physical gratification.
    >__________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: Q
    >You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical
    >energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an
    >enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their
    >ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, and conversation to
    >turn you on and keep you going.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: R
    >You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone
    >who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal-the smarter
    >the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great
    >body. However, physical attractiveness is not very important to you. You
    >have to be proved to be worthy for a partner. You have a need to prove
    >yourself the best. You want feedback on your performance. You are open,
    >stimulating & romantic.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: S
    >For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic
    >to a fault and is capable of much sensuality. But you never loose control
    >of your emotions. Once you make the commitment you stick like glue. You
    >could get jealous and possessive. You tend to be very selfish often
    >regarding yourself as the only human being on the planet.. You like being
    >the centre of attention. You are very caring
    >sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. Turned on by soft lights,
    >romantic thoughts. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an
    >expert. You
    >know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role, or any game,
    >and
    >take your love life very seriously. You don't fool around. You have the
    >patience to wait for the rightperson to come along. You are very generous &
    >giving, often selfless. You are kind nature & sweet which is found to be
    >attractive by many. You are a good friend.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: T
    >You are very sensitive, private & sometimes very passive. You like someone
    >who takes the lead. You get turned on by music, soft lights & romantic
    >thoughts. You fantasize & tend to fall in & out of love soon. When in love
    >you are romantic, idealistic, mushy & extremely. You enjoy having your
    >senses & your feelings stimulated, titillated & teased. You are a great
    >flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, all in your own
    >head. Once you put your mind to something you
    >manage to stand by it and see your dreams through. You aren't very good at
    >expressing your feelings. You like things your own way. You do not like
    >change, you
    >like to hold on to things. This may not always be good because if given an
    >opportunity things may develop into great things. You work your way to the
    >top. Attention must be given to what others say because even though you
    >don't want to hear it their advice may turn out to save your life.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: U
    >You are enthusiastic & at your happiest when in love. When not in love
    >you're in love with love and always looking for someone to adore. You see
    >romance as challenge. You are a roamer & needs adventure, excitement
    >freedom. You enjoy giving gifts & looking good. You are willing to put
    >others feelings above yours.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: V
    >You are individualistic & you need freedom, space & excitement. You wait
    >till you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone
    >means psyching her/him out. You feel a need to get into his/her head to see
    >what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. You believe that
    >age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear & suspense.
    >__________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: W
    >You are very proud, determined & refuses to take no for an answer when it
    >come to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are romantic,
    >idealistic, often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner for who
    >she or he really is. You feel deeply about love & tends to throw all of
    >your self into a relationship. Nothing is too good for your lover. You like
    >playing love games.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: X
    >You need constant stimulation because you get bored quickly. You can handle
    >more than 1 relationship at a time with ease. You can't shut off your mind.
    >You can do 2 things at once. You are very talented.
    >____________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: Y
    >You are sensual & very independent. If you can't have it your way, you will
    >forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationships which
    >doesn't work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation. However if
    >you can make money you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the
    >moment. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback on
    >your performance. You are open, stimulating & romantic.
    >___________________________________________________________
    >Does your name begin with: Z
    >You are very romantic but show feels that to love means to suffer. You wind
    >up serving your mate & attracting people who have unusual trouble. You see
    >yourself as a lover's saviour
    >


    Comments

    The year is 1902, one hundred years ago. . . . What a difference a century makes!

    * The average life expectancy in the US was forty-seven.
    * Only 14 Percent of the homes in the US had a bathtub.
    * Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
    * A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.
    * There were only 8,000 cars in the US and only 144 miles of paved roads.
    * The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
    * Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California. With a mere 1.4 million residents,
    * California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.
    * The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.
    * The average wage in the US was 22 cents an hour.
    * The average US worker made between $200 and $400 per year. A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical
    engineer about $5,000 per year.
    * More than 95 percent of all births in the US took place at home.
    * Ninety percent of all US physicians had no college education.
    Instead, they attended medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."
    * Sugar cost four cents a pound.
    * Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
    * Coffee cost fifteen cents a pound.
    * Most women only washed their hair once a month and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
    * Canada passed a law prohibiting poor people from entering the country for any reason.
    * The five leading causes of death in the US were:
    1. Pneumonia and influenza
    2. Tuberculosis
    3. Diarrhea
    4. Heart disease
    5. Stroke
    * The American flag had 45 stars. Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.
    * The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30.
    * Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.
    * There were no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
    * One in ten US adults couldn't read or write. Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
    * Eighteen percent of US households had at least one full-time servant or domestic.
    * There were about 230 reported murders in the US.
    * Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores. According to one pharmacist, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and the bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.

    Comments

    Great people talk about IDEAS. Average poeple Talk About THINGS. Small people talk about OTHER PEOPLE.
    Comments


    A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8
    year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and
    deeper than anyone could have imagined.

    "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
    toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
    when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
    Rebecca - age 8

    "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You
    know that your name is safe in their mouth."
    Billy - age 4

    "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
    and they go out and smell each other."
    Karl - age 5

    "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
    fries without making them give you any of theirs."
    Chrissy - age 6

    "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
    before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
    Danny - age 7

    "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
    everyday."
    Noelle - age 7

    "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing
    me to sleep at night."
    Clare - Age 5

    "Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
    Elaine - age 5

    "Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
    handsomer than Robert Redford."
    Chris - age 8

    "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
    all day."
    Mary Ann - age 4

    "I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me
    because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."
    Bethany - age 4

    "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars
    come out of you."
    Karen - age 7

    "Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's
    gross."
    Mark - age 6

    "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
    mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
    Jessica - age 8

    Since a very long time ago, people have searched for the meaning of love. But even the great philosophers, with their profound definitions, could not fully touch its true essence. In a survey of 4-8 year olds, kids share their views on love. But what do little kids know about love?
    Read on and be surprised that despite their young and innocent minds, kids already have a simple but deep grasp of that four-letter word.

    "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
    "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
    "Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at him because you know it would hurt his feelings."
    "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
    "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
    "Love is if you hold hands and sit beside each other in the cafeteria. That means you're in love. Otherwise, you can sit across from each other and be okay."
    "Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redbird."
    "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
    "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
    "You can break love, but it won't die."


    Comments

    This is part of what's wrong with this world (it would be hilarious if it weren't so pathetic):

    1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000.00 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson's son.

    2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000.00 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran his hand over with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice someone was at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal.

    3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was exiting a house he finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up, because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. This upset Mr. Dickson, so he sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars and change.

    4. October 1999: Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500.00 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in it's owner's fenced-in yard, as was Mr. Williams. The award was less than sought after because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    5. May 2000: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania 113,500.00 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because S.Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

    6. December 1997: Kara Waton of Claymont, Delaware successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded
    $12,000.00 and dental expenses.

    And we wonder what the heck is wrong with our kids? Just when we start to think that we have seen or heard
    it all, then we read stuff like this.

    Comments

    One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a
    tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When
    he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are
    you crying?"
    The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into
    water. The Lord went down into the water and
    reappeared with a golden axe.

    "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

    The woodcutter replied, "No."

    The Lord again went down and came up with a silver
    axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

    Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

    The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.
    "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

    The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

    The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave
    him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went
    home happily.

    One day while he was walking with his wife along the
    riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river.
    When he cried out, the Lord ag! ain appeared and asked
    him, "Why are you crying?"
    "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

    The Lord went down into the water and came up with
    Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

    "Yes," cried the woodcutter.

    The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!"


    The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It
    is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no' to
    Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine
    Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say 'no' to her, You will
    thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes,'
    and then all three will be given to me. But Lord, I am
    a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all
    three wives, so *that's* why I said yes this time."

    The moral of the story is whenever a man lies it is
    for an honorable and useful reason !!

    Comments

    [email]

    Why

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

    Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

    Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

    Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

    Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

    Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

    Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

    How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

    If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

    If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

    I nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

    If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

    I you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

    You know how most packages say "Open here"? What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

    Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

    Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

    Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

    Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

    You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

    Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

    Why does monosyllabic have five syllables?









    Seth Croston Barber <kn1ght@cyberis.net>
    Last modified: Wed Oct 06 13:29:36 PDT 1999



    Comments

    The average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm
    when it ejaculates, but only 10% of that actually makes it into
    his mate. So 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one
    unloads, and you wonder why the ocean is so salty!!



    Oh! By the way...Don't swallow the water!!!

    Comments

    Why Women Cry...

    A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"

    "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

    "I don't understand," he said.

    His Mom just hugged him and said,

    "And you never will."

    Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does

    mother seem to cry for no reason?"

    "All women cry for no reason," was all his

    dad could say.

    The little boy grew up and became a man, still

    wondering why women cry.

    Finally he put prayed to God who would surely know the answer.

    When God responded he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

    God said: "When I made the woman she had to be to be made special. I made

    her shoulders

    strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet

    gentle enough to give comfort. I gave her an inner strength to endure

    childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children. I

    gave her

    a hardness that allows

    her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and

    take care of her family

    through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

    gave her the sensitivity

    to love her children under any and all

    circumstances, even when her child

    has hurt her very badly. I gave her strength to

    carry her husband through

    his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect

    his heart.

    I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his

    wife, but sometimes tests

    her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

    And lastly, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers and only hers

    exclusively to use whenever she needs it.

    She needs no reason, no explanation, its hers."

    "You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman

    is not in the clothes she

    wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she

    combs her hair.The

    beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because

    that is the doorway to

    her heart - the place where love resides."

    Comments

    Why Worry?
    Author Unknown



    There are only two things in life to worry about:









    Whether you are well
    or whether you are sick.





    If you are well,





    then there is nothing to worry about.







    But if you are sick,





    there are only two things to worry about:







    Whether you are going to get well





    or whether you are going to die.











    If you get well,





    then there is nothing to worry about.







    But if you die,





    there are only two things to worry about:





    Whether you are going to go to heaven
    or whether you are going to go to hell.





    If you go to heaven,





    then you have nothing to worry about.







    But if you go to hell,





    you'll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends,





    that you won't have time to worry!



    So, Why Worry?

    Comments

    You say: "It's impossible"
    God says: All things are possible
    You say: "I'm too tired"
    God says: I will give you rest
    You say: "Nobody really loves me"
    God says: I love you
    You say: "I can't go on"
    God says: My grace is sufficient
    You say: "I can't figure things out"
    God says: I will direct your steps
    You say: "I can't do it"
    God says: You can do all things
    You say: "I'm not able"
    God says: I am able
    You say: "It's not worth it"
    God says: It will be worth it
    You say: "I can't forgive myself"
    God says: I FORGIVE YOU
    You say: "I can't manage"
    God says: I will supply all your needs
    You say: "I'm afraid"
    God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
    You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
    God says: Cast all your cares on ME
    You say: "I don't have enough faith"
    God says: I've given everyone a measure of faith
    You say: "I'm not smart enough"
    God says: I give you wisdom
    You say: "I feel all alone"

    God says: I will never leave you or forsake you


    Comments

    No guy is worth your tears & when you find one that is, he won't make you
    cry.

    Everyone says you only fall in love once but that's not true, every time I
    hear your voice I fall in love all over again

    If you love someone put their name in a circle not a heart, a heart can be
    broken but a circle goes on forever


    When I first saw you I was afraid to talk to you*When i first talked to you
    I was afraid to like you*When i first liked you i was afraid to love
    you*Now that I love you I m afraid to lose you


    A KISS BLOWN IS A KISS WASTED THE ONLY REALLY KINDA KISS IS A KISS TASTED


    A MeMoRy LaStS 4eVeR NeVeR DoEs it DiE TrUe FrieNdS StAy toGeThEr AnD NeVer
    SaYs GoOdByE


    Love Is When You Don't Want To Go To Sleep Because Reality Is Better Than A
    Dream

    If you love me like you told me please be careful with my heart you can
    take it; just don't break it or my world will fall apart

    Fine guys open my eyes, smart guys open my mind but only a sweet guy can
    open my heart

    Dream as if you'll live forever...Live as if you'll die tomorrow

    *omewhere There' omeone Who Dream Of Your mile, And Find In Your
    Preence That Life I Worth While, o When You Are Lonely, Remember It'
    True: omebody, omewhere Is Thinking Of You*

    Never start frowning because you never know who's falling in love with your
    smile :)

    *You can fall from the sky* *You can fall from a tree* *But the best way to
    fall* *Is in love with me*

    If You Luv Me... Let Me Know... If You Don't... Then Let Me Go...


    I loved you once ...<3
    you loved me not...<3
    I loved you twice....<3
    but I forgot......<3
    you never loved me ..<3
    you never will...<3
    but even so...<3
    I love you still.......<3

    Tell me if you love me....
    . tell me if Its true...
    Let me be your forever......
    and 4 ever it will be me and you

    *make a wish about something u want to happen between u and your crush*

    Comments

    Your Friendship - Truth
    Comments

    Subject: "I'm sorry Mr. Lowe, but your insurance won't cover THAT"

    A true and sort of bizzare story....

    Source: San Diego Union newspaper, Aug. 3, page F-2....


    Actor Rob Lowe wants his insurance company to pay his legal fees or
    any damages awarded to a Georgia woman suing him over her teen-age
    daughter's appearance in a homemade pornographic videotape.

    But the Chubb Custom Insurance Company of New Jersey said Lowe's
    insurance policy does not cover "intentional actions" such as
    using "celebrity status as an inducement to females to engage in
    sexual intercourse, sodomy, and multiple-party sexual activity for
    his immediate sexual gratification and for the purpose of making
    pornographic films."

    The Chubb folks have asked a federal judge in Atlanta to rule that
    damages arising from making sex tapes in a hotel room are not a covered
    item under a homeowner's policy.

    (But exactly what DOES that policy cover anyway???)
    Comments

    pishi1 - Truth
    Comments

    pishi2 - Truth
    Comments

    pishi3 - Truth
    Comments

    pishi4 - Truth
    Comments

    pishi5 - Truth
    Comments

    pishi6 - Truth
    Comments

    pishi7 - Truth
    Comments