Ancient Chinese Proverbs

Ancient Chinese Proverbs

"Ancient Chinese Proverbs"

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget

User Comments

ahaha these are awesome!

Moesha on October 26, 2005 at 02:44

These are so good got anymore?

The_6th_Day on October 28, 2005 at 12:09

These are really funny

Fred Bloggs on November 13, 2005 at 09:21

these are hilarious!! love em, please find more!

kaya on November 15, 2005 at 02:55

Yup... you lost me once again.

Blackrose on November 29, 2005 at 08:38

i love chinese proverbs

OrgasmO on December 06, 2005 at 07:55

These jokes are LAME

Jake Dickman on December 09, 2005 at 09:24

These are pretty funny, yet not real chinese proverbs!

Bigdick6 on December 10, 2005 at 11:25

these are hilarious!

buffyrocks on December 22, 2005 at 02:05

THESE ARE NOT REAL CHINESE PROVERBS!!!! THESE ARE UGLY JOKES THAT
SOME SILLY GUYS MAKE!!!

Bon from Hong Kong on December 26, 2005 at 04:02

Bon, we know they are not real, They are just funny. And trust me take
no offense EVERYTHING is made fun of, including the best of
everything. Take no offense.

Brandon on December 27, 2005 at 05:18

these are crap and a rip off to the real proverbs. get a life

fridge316 on December 30, 2005 at 05:30

haha life is boring, ya might as well lighten the load somehow

All_AmericanFrk on December 30, 2005 at 09:39

HAHAHA! fantastic! the first one if brilliant! even ma dad found it
funny! keep em comin!

DaddE speaks Chinese on January 04, 2006 at 02:43

this proverbs such dick get a life

fuck u bitch on January 12, 2006 at 03:23

Man who eats cookies in bed will wake up feeling crummy.

Frambuesa on January 13, 2006 at 07:47

HAHAHA these are hillarious

1234 on January 15, 2006 at 02:15

I hate this, makes fun of every chinese proverb. Get a life and go die
in hell

Idiot on January 22, 2006 at 10:29

These are cool i love all these proverbs!!!!!!!

abc123 on January 25, 2006 at 02:12

The name says it all

That Was Dumb on January 26, 2006 at 07:29

Yep... not funny at all!

Demon_Fire on January 31, 2006 at 08:20

thats good

joe on February 01, 2006 at 10:51

These are gross but some are true

Doritos on February 01, 2006 at 04:29

Thought the proverbs were hilarious make me laugh my arse off
ha........

Fi Fi on February 08, 2006 at 02:38

hahaha i love these

Mr.Mister on September 23, 2006 at 06:03

these are the funnyest i have red

ihavenolife on September 28, 2006 at 09:49

Oh yea! da best, thats wot they r! who doesnt think these are cool can
all go to hell.

Wardogg_212 on October 06, 2006 at 12:22

hey bigdick6 if you ever come to aggytown,tx maybe we can meet up and
fuck.

chocolate kisses on October 06, 2006 at 01:32

a yo if bigdick6 won't halla at choclate kisses then I will. I'll tap
that ass anytime u want me to I won't stop until you tell me to.

skateboyB on October 06, 2006 at 01:57

Wtf[PERIOD]

Wtf on October 10, 2006 at 02:51

I LOVE these Chinese proverbs!!!!They're halarious!!!

Cookie on October 17, 2006 at 09:45

why someone always gotta say something stupid to mess up the fun. like
for real dickwads if you dont like what you see, then dont read
anymore and leave, dont be an ass and make stupid comments... and as
for the jokes, they rock!!

crazy_white on October 19, 2006 at 07:28

people have to learn to make fun of themselves it makes life more fun
i'm chinese and i've heard plenty of joke about chinese ppl and i make
fun of chinese ppl my self it take a very self confident person to do
that no some one who is up tight so all of u pissed off chinese pll
need to chill out and learn how to drive and u can bitch all you want
about what i just said but hey it's a joke laugh at it

beep on October 23, 2006 at 12:09

silly ones

Leila on October 25, 2006 at 09:36

u r all emos i typed in facts about louis vuttion but this weiurd
gay website came up

chloe on October 29, 2006 at 08:10

These are not Chinese proverbs. An example of one is: Give a man a
fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him
for a lifetime. Quotationspage.com have authentic ones.

Tang on November 08, 2006 at 01:49

Loosen up people damn!

mamma8373 on November 10, 2006 at 02:21

i love sex ho!!11

the_spanko on November 14, 2006 at 03:34

all you who laugh at our proverbs are all sons of motherless goats!!!

Mao on November 16, 2006 at 09:34

I am greatly insulted by this.

show jung Li on November 16, 2006 at 10:04

chillax man, its all fun and games. We just playing. we ain't trying
to hurt nobody. You feel?

cooooooolio on November 16, 2006 at 10:06

So we cool, right?

coooooolio on November 16, 2006 at 10:06

sex is the thing for chinenes right me boys

super-man 111 on November 21, 2006 at 03:34

Wow!!! you ppl r more messed up than the fake proverbs and by the way
i agree with all the ppl who think they lame

TT on November 22, 2006 at 11:39

these are hilarious. everyone who thinks they are stupid just cant
take a joke or are jealous that they couldnt make something this funny
themselves

Haha awesome! on November 24, 2006 at 07:36

Man with cock in fire fu-cking grate

Ciccone on November 26, 2006 at 12:59

i love them hell funny got ne more?

Your mutha on November 27, 2006 at 05:49

Haha, I think it's cute. Don't worry people. Mostly the best get
made fun of.

Big Boo on December 01, 2006 at 02:16

dot dot dot dot dot lol this is so slack :\

Dot on December 04, 2006 at 07:41

cant people just realise this is a joke! u dont have to get all
angry.. they r funny! ADMIT IT!! anyways.. ILY_whoever you are

seksiifulemi on December 04, 2006 at 07:43

hahah! these o so funie. please don't be offended, people from
China. everything gets made fun of at least once. we know they not
REAL Chinese provewrbs.

bre on December 05, 2006 at 05:02

U know whats offensive? The plight of Tibetans at the hands of the
Chinese army

FREE TIBET on December 11, 2006 at 03:08

Spread the word ! Galvanise...

http://www.freetibet.org/ on December 11, 2006 at 03:10

These are hilarious! I don't see whats offensive about it . I'm
Chinese and I lived in China most of my life and I LOVE these. Take
that stick out of your ass and get over it you bastards. I bet the
pepole who are offended aren't even Chinese.

action on December 18, 2006 at 05:52

Hey skateboyB how u kno chocolate kisses aint som 50 year old guy,
man, i dont want to kno.

CN5087 on December 22, 2006 at 11:38

If you think. . . Many of these are as true as the sun rising in the
east (or the west!!!)

James P. Jones on January 02, 2007 at 07:03

idk wat allu people are talking about these are fuckin funny.

thefallenone x13 on January 03, 2007 at 07:53

if you motherfuckers dont like them dont read them okay and after all
their just playing around

ZEROorDIE on January 03, 2007 at 08:06

Hahaha those proverbs were funny. However, I do believe the title
should say fake Chinese proverbs cause I dont think everyone realizes
that they are fake.

Eternal on January 04, 2007 at 11:36

²whats the fuck is bla blaaaaaaaa lol

soufian on January 12, 2007 at 04:59

iuno on January 16, 2007 at 04:28

these things are good, and people r soo negative...

whatsthatinsky on January 16, 2007 at 04:30

some of these r real, it happened to me once :) and i love this site!

k on January 16, 2007 at 04:31

wow, jus make a comment and leave... no need to says something bad, u
shoudl all feel ashamed if u wrote something bad, just leave a comment
ya heard...and...I LOVE THESE JOKES!

woah! on January 16, 2007 at 04:39

fuck

penis on January 16, 2007 at 07:38

If you want to really see what our country is made of come to a
website that has comments like these. Then I remember, we have
soldiers in another country dying for us so we can continue to use our
time wisely like this. Hope you are all proud of your filthy comments.

Mom on January 16, 2007 at 07:59

you are all a bunch of sad pathetic cunts

dickdangler on January 18, 2007 at 02:46

Lmao these are freaking hilarious the first one had me laughing.

redone on January 22, 2007 at 11:19

i fuck pussy!

Terry Ockysauce on January 24, 2007 at 01:51

i agree with mom---you are bad mouth little people..always ruining it
for others...

debbie on January 25, 2007 at 01:09

thank you Mom for pointing that out its not wrong to leave comments on
dis website but not ok if u want to leave perverted comments

bre. on February 03, 2007 at 02:57

i bet a lot of money that these 'ancient proverbs' are just
bullshitters taking the mick.

themeh on February 25, 2007 at 01:04

TO ALL PEOPLE BELOW ME WHO SAID THAT THESE WERE GAY.. THEN WHY THE
FUCK ARE YOU READIN THEM... DICKHEADS

Oh on February 28, 2007 at 09:09

dude them jokes are as bad as ur mother in bed

Damian The Legend on March 05, 2007 at 10:51

baseball is lie, man with 4 balls cannot walk

baseball on March 07, 2007 at 07:59

this fng is da bomb!!! i LUV cAm hEz mAh hUnNi bUm

jEsSiKaH on March 08, 2007 at 08:19

I LUv cAm hEz hOtT hEz sExIiIiI MuAh mUaH BaI hUnNnNNn xOXoXoXo
lUYfFfFfFFf u_-----_- sEeE U 2NiTe

JeSs m on March 08, 2007 at 08:21

jess no offence but cam is mine, i was only acting like you to get
him, hes so hot i want him bad!!! mwa mwa x0x0x0x0 ,, p.s love the
site!

KenNy K on March 10, 2007 at 02:36

love the site.. awesomee

cam lover. aka kenny k on March 10, 2007 at 02:47

I LOVE IT! THESE ARE SO FUCKING HILARIOUS

lamao on March 15, 2007 at 06:17

this no funny u all mean make fun of our culture for who we r well
look at u funky wite men wit ur stupid wite stuff if it wasnt for us u
would have notting u hear they r funny u wite ppl are creative

Chinese man on March 25, 2007 at 10:59

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

???? on March 25, 2007 at 11:06

hohohohohohohoho

lol on March 29, 2007 at 07:26

These are funny, the people who give it crap are just jealous that
they can’t think of something this funny. And even though MOM makes
a good point, it really has nothing to do with these.

Petey on March 30, 2007 at 09:01

SO FUCKIN FUNNY!!!! KEEP THEM COMIN

jaycash on March 31, 2007 at 04:51

wow alec is about to read these... should show girlfriend the piano
one

Dawson on April 02, 2007 at 09:54

are these actually chinese privwerbs? these are sick!!!!

BCI on April 02, 2007 at 09:54

those jocks were really cool and interestin . They made me giggle .Pls
find more of them

sarennia on April 07, 2007 at 03:00

these r wicked nd they r great so fuk u if u fink they r shit!

peter on April 07, 2007 at 01:49

i got my own..even man wit 1 eye rule land of the blind

pablo on April 28, 2007 at 07:29

cum and c me guys

pablo again on April 28, 2007 at 07:31

lol wow just reading and i have to laugh at that fridge guy lol
telling people to get a life and the fuckin guys name is fridge

Krizz on May 30, 2007 at 12:31

Woman who slide down banister make monkey shine!

Douche Bag on June 02, 2007 at 05:06

I LOVE THESE. THEY ARE SOO FUNNY!

Rachel the Slut loves Sebastian the Ho on June 02, 2007 at 05:39

TO ALL THE PEOPLE COMMENTING THESE ARE STUPID: Lighten up people,
they're just jokes. It's not as fascinating as you think to hear that
you believe these jokes are tasteless etc.

Charlie on June 06, 2007 at 08:58

lolllllllllllllll these are funny...and everyone gets made fun of..
except white people..superior race.. niggers, spics, jews, pakis,
faggots, chinks.. fucking all get ripped shit out of..because they are
fucking different races..dumbass..it's funny taking the piss out of
other peoples unfortunate race. it's not their fault they are fucked
up pieces of shit.. that's why it's funny.. hahaha. white power. fuck
you niggers and paki basterds. u suck cock. and then get bum raped.
then get aids because all niggers have got aids. because they are from
africa.. they are all african motherfuckin pieces of shit. fucking
nigger bitches i hope all fucking nigger bastards die of aids fucking
cunt fuck motherfucking piece of cunt wanking fucking bastard bitch
ass faggots fucking paki basterds. i hate jews, hail hitler. why the
fuck couldn't he eliminate the cocksucking bastards. fuck you too
bitches you all suck cock wankers. i fucking hate you all you sad ass
pieces of shit. fucking dickhead fuck you charlie. you're a stoner..
fuck you rachel the slut. you're a stoner. fuck you douche bag you're
a stoner. fuck you krizz. you're a stoner. fuck you czoah ycrhatn. you
fucking stoner.. etc.. it goes on until everyone's a stoner. and you
all smoke cock and get aids paki basterds motherfucking cocklicking
assrapists. i hate you all motherfuckers i hope u fucking die u pieces
of black shit. thank you.

i know paul james. :) on June 16, 2007 at 04:00

nice language prick grow up!!

this guys mother.. on June 22, 2007 at 02:38

im am from africa you fuck wanna hook up and ill make u my slave you
dickhead!

this guys mother again on June 22, 2007 at 02:39

Man who sticks penis in peanut butter is fucking nuts

nesquick on July 10, 2007 at 09:30

If your from africa you should be the slave Nigger

This guys mother on July 15, 2007 at 07:44

you are such a bastard! How dare you to say such dirty words to
stigmatize Chinese proverbs! These are obsolutely not Chinese
proverbs! Jerk!You!

shantell on August 11, 2007 at 04:10

These "Proverbs" maybe funny to you, but perhaps not to the Chinese.
How would you like it if they made fun of American culture? As a
matter of courtesy, I would rather not see them displayed on the net.

Bob Pennington on September 02, 2007 at 09:43

I have one - "Americans who laugh at other cultures too busy to see
whole world laugh at him" And another one - "I know Paul James not
know very much else".

Gareth on September 05, 2007 at 07:13

you guys take this way too seriously everyones made fun of and
everyone can enjoy it

that one guy on September 26, 2007 at 10:34

ha ha these are great! Pity some people have no sense of humour,
these people should keep opinions to themselves... and then fuck off
and die ha ha

Nunslittletoy on September 27, 2007 at 04:45

blackman who gets cotton thinks its crack cocaine! to all you
WONGS! Try and beat this black proverb

poorbLackman_foodstamper on October 21, 2007 at 11:37

Guys! I can't believ human rase has lost its respect on the face of
earth...This is exactly how everyone starts hating one another, and
turn to war!!! Its Psychologically tackling you guys!

Tanzanian Boy on November 09, 2007 at 04:33

what's the hell with you guys these proverbs r fnny,the others about
americans r funny and there r others about arabs they r funny also
everything is funny in this word so fuck everyth and let us enjoy

sarahara on December 01, 2007 at 07:51

I liked the scratch ass one

mel on December 02, 2007 at 04:26

these are quite funny. people who take offence at these take offence
way too easily. people who take these serious are way too
serious. it's just some harmless fun, and everyone knows they are not
real chinese proverbs.

me on December 08, 2007 at 12:16

I totally agree with Gareth! To I know paul james: You not only
sound like an imbecile, but I'll hazard a guess you look exactly like
one too! I'd like to slap you senseless but I see someone already has!
If there was a Pandora's Box of stupidity, you would be its
contents. And one last thing: Your incompetence is an inspiration to
idiots everywhere. I'm not being rude. You're just
insignificant... You're a moron. It's your legacy. Deal with it! And
you know what? Why should I try to make a fool of you when you are
doing such a fine job of it yourself?

. on December 10, 2007 at 04:01

i hated the the proverbs they are so aluwk daba

swathi on December 11, 2007 at 06:25

OMG me and my sister almost peed our pants

mersadies on January 09, 2008 at 02:02

fuck you all!

shuhieb on January 22, 2008 at 08:24

fuck you all!

ryan on January 22, 2008 at 08:26

Guys, i once read a quote : "i don't like what he says, but i am
willing to die defending his right to say it". - I forgot who wrote
it i'm a chinese, and i don't like this joke either, but this guy
have the right to speak, so let him speak.

Peace on January 29, 2008 at 02:55

I got another one.. Man who goes to sleep with coathanger in mouth.
Wakes up with smile!

Yeah Matey on February 04, 2008 at 11:17

...? they are ok tee hee!!! ...

... on February 07, 2008 at 06:05

Hmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder who would be complaining or insulted if they
were called "Irish Proverbs" LOL,,, but then me ole irish ma used to
say " the true measure of a man is his ability to laugh at
himself" Keep them comin maybe we will all learn to laugh again:)

LMAO on February 08, 2008 at 02:33

I didn't think all of these were funny (some of them were just
disturbing), but I DO think that everyone who's all offended are just
morons. Seriously... Also: if you can't laugh at yourself, you're a
moron with a bloody stick in your arse and you don't even know what
you're missing. I find that jokes about my own social groups are, in
fact, even /moreso/ amusing than groups about others, because I
understand all the misconceptions better, and the irony is lovely.
So... Just STFU and enjoy.

Thiaf Yeroled on February 18, 2008 at 09:30

Rooster who piss off hen play with own cock

Peaches on February 26, 2008 at 08:18

I have a funny one "Girls who laugh at these jokes can suck my cock
and lick my ass." Ha,ha.

TuaLanCheow on March 01, 2008 at 12:55

lol LMAO I'm 100% chinese and I think these are funny as hell. Lots of
Asians and other conservative ppls need to loosen up and be more open
minded... geez it's JUST jokes :p :) p.s: Great job to whom ever put
this on

Cutie on March 30, 2008 at 06:11

it's just a fucking web site. get off your ass-go outside-and find
yourself a life. stupid racist ignorance. pathetic

charli on April 17, 2008 at 10:14

He that stands on toiolet is high on pot

bob on May 22, 2008 at 10:40

its onnly funny bcos that mother fucker dont know nothin bout grammar
, wyntax and all that shit. he fuckin thinks that chinese are bad at
english...waht a lmao. i mean who the fuck is top at enlish at your
school or uni or workpalce? probably a chinese chick...

silm on June 11, 2008 at 04:22

Most of these jokes were kinda funny, some were just stupid. I know
Paul James, whoever you are. You. are. an. idiot. You are a racist and
it sounds like your proud of that fact. I felt dirty just reading your
comment. You are a disgrace as a human being and I hope that no one
ever has to suffer through one of your little tirades again. Get a
life and go make some friends...if you can.

pretty_weird on June 15, 2008 at 04:34

I AM OFFENDED! Sincerely, Lil Midge

lil midge on June 20, 2008 at 12:23

Look at all those whining idiots up there. No wonder there's so much
misery in the world.

ti an on June 20, 2008 at 07:06

its all good! some people should seriously lighten up man!

Adam K on June 24, 2008 at 06:23

Some are a little funny but it was kinda disappointing to see this
esspecially when you were searching for real chinese proverbs

Dawn on June 25, 2008 at 02:19

funny!!! he he he...but i prefer REAL chinese proverbs! ones that have
true meaning!

jen on June 28, 2008 at 01:41

Ting Tong from Tooting not Pong Pong
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ting Tong on July 06, 2008 at 10:22

Most of htem have done multiple rounds on email forwards. Enjoyed the
few that seemd new though.( the lat one was hilarious!)

Hash on August 10, 2008 at 09:56

Try these; 1) Sister who sit on brother-in-law's lap, make it very
hard for sister and..... 2) Accused girl who sit on judge's lap,
receive honourable discharge.

lighthearted on August 24, 2008 at 01:03

man who eat skittles fart rainbow.

jorino on January 06, 2009 at 11:26

Funny, I used them so often, thanks guys.

Ivan on April 09, 2011 at 09:59

COOL - I like! Simplifies life...

Bob Marconi on August 25, 2011 at 01:59

man who sleep with woman and man is doubly fucked

danny on September 09, 2011 at 02:22

some are so funny others so stupid... make a site for just the good
ones if u want better comments

ejw on September 15, 2011 at 05:48

Girl who fly helicopter upside down crack up,,,,

Jin on November 08, 2011 at 08:07

Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot, very unhygenic

kim on November 17, 2011 at 07:30

house is not a home................because a house is just builded of
bricks or wood but a home is where they are built of love

abhay on November 22, 2011 at 06:20

"Man who screw woman on ground finds piece on earth"---"Woman why
flies upside down has crack-up"

wild bill on January 12, 2012 at 07:38

Amazing write-up! This could aid plenty of people find out more about
this particular issue. Are you keen to integrate video clips coupled
with these? It would absolutely help out. Your conclusion was spot on
and thanks to you; I probably won’t have to describe everything to
my pals. I can simply direct them here!

cheap bras on January 29, 2012 at 11:33

sooo funny,top notch!even the people hatting and expressing their
extremist views on race and culture...we understand.8years and the
comments continue!

edside on February 04, 2013 at 08:07

Ancient Chinese Proverbs

Ancient Chinese Proverbs

Leave a Comment

More Truth