Having A Bad Day

HomeFunplexTruth

THE NEXT TIME YOU THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male
was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from
burns, but from massive internal injuries.

Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set
about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest
fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a
diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The firefighters,
seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of
helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and
then flown to the forest fire and emptied.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300
feet in the air. Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the
fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STILL THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY?

A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the
kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it
accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the
handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the
motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the
crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor,
cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio
door.

The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived
on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to
the street to escort the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance
arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife
uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels,
blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was
treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became
despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the
toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped
it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was
in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She
ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers
had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of
his legs, and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same
paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The
paramedics loaded the husband onto the stretcher and began carrying him to
the street.

While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the
wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned
himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of
them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down
the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

Taken from a Florida Newspaper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STILL HAVING A BAD DAY?

Just remember, it could be worse.....

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
in Alaska was $8,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers
and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer
whale ate them both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in
order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of
needling, he snapped and beat her with an axe leaving her
mentally retarded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically
with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric
kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him
with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking
his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to
his Walkman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs
to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of
them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two
hapless protesters to death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And finally.......

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Your day's not so bad, is it?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another version:

Deep thoughts....by Jack Handey


The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:

You're a Siamese twin.

Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay.

You're not.

He has a date coming over today.

But you have the only ass.

Feel better now?


------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another one:

Are ya havin' a Bad Day????

Well, then, consider this...............................

In a hospital ' s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in
the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition.


This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had
something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the
mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on
Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to
investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all
of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to
see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crossses, prayer books, and other holy
objects to ward off the evil spirits.


Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time
Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support
system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.



Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $ 80,000.00. At a special
ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being
released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from
onlookers.

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them
both.




Still think you are having a Bad Day????


A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire
running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending
to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with
a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to
that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.



STILL think you ' re having a Bad Day????

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany. Suddenly,
all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
fence, stampeding madly.

The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn ' t pay enough postage on a
letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on
it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown
to bits.

There now, feeling better????

More Truth

  1. [page] 100 Most Influential People Who Never Lived
  2. [page] 10 Things That Were Discovered Accidentally
  3. [page] 200 Amazing Secrets
  4. [page] 21st Century
  5. [page] 30 Years Difference
  6. [page] 50 Romantic Things To Do For Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
  7. [page] 9 Things God Wont Ask On The Judgement Day
  8. [page] 9 Things I Hate About Everyone
  9. [page] A Glimpse Of The World
  10. [page] Accident Report
  11. [page] Actual Excuses Notes From The Parents
  12. [page] Actual Headlines
  13. [page] Actual Insurance Forms
  14. [page] Actual Writings On Hospital Charts
  15. [page] Airline Attendant Announcments
  16. [page] Amazing Facts
  17. [page] Ancient Chinese Proverbs
  18. [page] Apples On The Trees
  19. [picture] Attitude
  20. [page] Barney Is Devil
  21. [page] Basic Horoscope
  22. [page] Be Happy Today
  23. [page] Belching Dragon Restaurant
  24. [page] Birth Dates And Animals
  25. [page] Birth Numbers
  26. [page] Birthday Colors
  27. [page] Birthpath
  28. [page] Chat With God
  29. [page] Chinese Good Luck
  30. [page] Chinese Horoscope
  31. [page] Dear God
  32. [page] Deep Thoughts
  33. [page] Definitions
  34. [page] Differences Between Love And Like
  35. [page] Disgusting Truth Of Your Life
  36. [picture] Dog Crossing Street
  37. [page] Easy And Hard
  38. [page] Eleven Proven Ways To Get Along Better With Everyone
  39. [page] Emergency Friendship System
  40. [page] Employment Question
  41. [page] Ever Wondered
  42. [page] Examples Of Unclear Writing
  43. [page] Fashion Suggestions For Nerds
  44. [page] Five More Minutes
  45. [picture] Friends Alphabet
  46. [picture] Friends Find Their Way
  47. [picture] From Birth To Death
  48. [page] From The Heart
  49. [page] Full Day Of Education
  50. [page] Funny Life Quotes
  51. [page] Funny Signs
  52. [page] God Answers Prayer
  53. [page] God Created Animals
  54. [page] God In Every Moment
  55. [page] Good Morning Advice
  56. [page] Government Programs
  57. [page] Great Inspiration
  58. [page] Great Relationship
  59. [picture] Great Wealth
  60. [picture] Happiness
  61. [page] Happiness Is Something You Decide On Ahead Of Time
  62. [page] Having A Bad Day
  63. [picture] Heart With Words
  64. [picture] Hourly Earnings
  65. [page] How The Word FAMILY Came About
  66. [page] How To Stay Young And Happy
  67. [page] I Am Thankful
  68. [picture] I Believe
  69. [picture] I Love You In 20 Languages
  70. [page] If I Could Be A Letter
  71. [page] If You Love Someone
  72. [page] Important Advice
  73. [page] Inner Peace
  74. [page] Interview With God
  75. [page] Japanese Prime Minister
  76. [picture] Khatami
  77. [page] Kids Reflections On The Nature Of Love
  78. [page] Kissing
  79. [page] Licking Envelopes
  80. [page] Life
  81. [picture] Life Stages
  82. [page] Logical Lessons
  83. [page] Lotus Totus Good Luck Advice
  84. [picture] Love Chart
  85. [page] Love Letter
  86. [page] Love Story
  87. [page] Making Of Honda Ad
  88. [picture] Meaning Of Hello
  89. [page] Memo From God
  90. [page] Miracle Cure
  91. [page] Mud Puddles And Sunny Yellow Dandelions
  92. [picture] NASA
  93. [page] Never Have Regrets
  94. [page] Never If
  95. [page] New Definitions For 2002
  96. [page] Only In America
  97. [picture] Our Faces
  98. [page] Perspective
  99. [page] Psychological Profile Test
  100. [page] Psychological Test
  101. [page] Quotes
  102. [page] Quotes From Bernard Shaw
  103. [page] Real Court Reports
  104. [page] Research On The Order Of Letters
  105. [page] Rules Of Life
  106. [page] Safety Tips For Women
  107. [page] Secret Of Success
  108. [page] Shake It Off
  109. [picture] Sleeping 1
  110. [picture] Sleeping 2
  111. [picture] Sleeping 3
  112. [picture] Sleeping 4
  113. [picture] Sleeping Styles
  114. [page] Some Pieces Of Advice
  115. [page] Something To Think About
  116. [page] Somtimes Life Is Fair
  117. [page] Stepping Up In Life
  118. [picture] Story Of Our Life
  119. [page] Success
  120. [page] Survival At Work
  121. [page] Take Time
  122. [picture] Talking To God
  123. [page] Tell Them You Love Them
  124. [page] That Is Life
  125. [page] The Best Things In Life
  126. [page] The Gift Of Life
  127. [page] The Lotus Totus
  128. [page] The Most Important Part Of The Body
  129. [page] The Mosts
  130. [page] The Pig
  131. [page] The Rules Of The Happy Life
  132. [page] The World Is Changing
  133. [page] The Art Of Letting Go
  134. [page] Things I Have Learned From My Children
  135. [page] Things You Didnt Know You Didnt Know
  136. [page] Things You Never Knew Had Names
  137. [page] Things To Think About
  138. [page] Three Filter Test
  139. [page] Three Men
  140. [page] Three Things Of Life
  141. [page] To My Friends
  142. [page] To Realize
  143. [page] Top Eight Idiots Of 2002
  144. [page] Trivia
  145. [page] Trust
  146. [page] Two Things To A Good Life
  147. [page] Two Traveling Angels
  148. [page] Useless Facts
  149. [page] Useless Facts Part 2
  150. [page] Useless Facts Part 3
  151. [page] Valentine Day Quotes By William Shakespeare
  152. [page] Water Therapy From India
  153. [page] We Are So Blessed
  154. [page] Wear Sunscreen
  155. [picture] Weird Facts
  156. [page] Weird Questions
  157. [page] What Does Your Name Start With
  158. [page] What Life Is All About
  159. [page] What Tree Did You Fall From
  160. [page] What Wise Man Said
  161. [page] What Your Birth Day Says
  162. [page] What Your Birth Month Says
  163. [page] What Your Initial Stands For
  164. [page] What A Difference A Century Makes
  165. [page] What Do People Talk About
  166. [page] What Is Love
  167. [page] What Is Wrong With This World
  168. [page] Whenever A Man Lies
  169. [page] Why
  170. [page] Why Ocean Water Is Salty
  171. [page] Why Women Cry
  172. [page] Why Worry
  173. [page] You And God
  174. [page] You And Your Crush
  175. [picture] Your Friendship
  176. [page] Your Insurance Wont Cover THAT
  177. [picture] Pishi1
  178. [picture] Pishi2
  179. [picture] Pishi3
  180. [picture] Pishi4
  181. [picture] Pishi5
  182. [picture] Pishi6
  183. [picture] Pishi7