Having A Bad Day


Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of
forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male
was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,
flippers, and facemask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from
burns, but from massive internal injuries.

Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set
about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest
fire. It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a
diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The firefighters,
seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of
helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and
then flown to the forest fire and emptied.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket 300
feet in the air. Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the
fire. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998.


A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the
kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it
accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the
handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the
motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the
crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor,
cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio

The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived
on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to
the street to escort the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance
arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife
uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside.

Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels,
blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was
treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became
despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the
toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped
it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was
in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She
ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers
had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of
his legs, and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same
paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The
paramedics loaded the husband onto the stretcher and began carrying him to
the street.

While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the
wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned
himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of
them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down
the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

Taken from a Florida Newspaper.



Just remember, it could be worse.....

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill
in Alaska was $8,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers
and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer
whale ate them both.


A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in
order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of
needling, he snapped and beat her with an axe leaving her
mentally retarded.


A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically
with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric
kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him
with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking
his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to
his Walkman.


Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs
to a slaughterhouse in Bonn Germany. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of
them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two
hapless protesters to death.


And finally.......

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb.
It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the
bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Your day's not so bad, is it?


Another version:

Deep Jack Handey

The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this:

You're a Siamese twin.

Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is gay.

You're not.

He has a date coming over today.

But you have the only ass.

Feel better now?


Another one:

Are ya havin' a Bad Day????

Well, then, consider this...............................

In a hospital ' s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in
the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had
something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the
mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on
Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to
investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 a.m., all
of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to
see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crossses, prayer books, and other holy
objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time
Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support
system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.

Having a Bad Day????

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon
Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $ 80,000.00. At a special
ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being
released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from

A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them

Still think you are having a Bad Day????

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire
running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending
to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with
a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to
that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you ' re having a Bad Day????

Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of
sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany. Suddenly,
all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken
fence, stampeding madly.

The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.

What?? STILL having a Bad Day????

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn ' t pay enough postage on a
letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on
it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown
to bits.

There now, feeling better????
punkass cass on November 03, 2005 at 06:44
Well it made me laugh a little. Except my pain is still there.
Hopefully the next back operation will fix it.
virginia on November 03, 2005 at 08:55
that was cool
apolloshot on December 14, 2005 at 09:52
I confused? (Sigh) Well, back to look at the other crap on this
Demon_Fire on December 21, 2005 at 07:37
Hahhee. Forever funny, I will think of this my next bad day
Thats me on December 25, 2005 at 03:45
homos are gay
anonymous on December 30, 2005 at 08:57
no shit?
omg on January 12, 2006 at 07:59
Had a bad day again... said i would not understand!
Demon_Fire on January 13, 2006 at 08:36
y cnt u just admit its a bad day! live wiv it! dnt fink well dees
worse...SO!uve in one for a whole day!finkin of sumin worse aint guna
help ok sure dose r worse but ur not in da situation!
xjadex on March 24, 2006 at 04:46 add me if u wana chat on msn
mechy on October 08, 2006 at 08:46
poor seals
bre on November 30, 2006 at 03:27
Damn, Cheered me up!! Thanks I needed that...Good imagination. Liked
the short stories too. Funny!!
Dawn on December 30, 2006 at 01:49
Ha ha ha. Makes may day feel like snowboarding down Everest!!
Tony on January 25, 2007 at 08:38
stupid ass iraqi
alpha on February 08, 2007 at 10:33
i have a bad day i mean really bad(not going in to it) But i feel
sorry for those people in alaska.but i still feel bad but you know.
TATIANA on February 13, 2007 at 08:55
ha! funny stories! r they really true? then i feel sorry for all those
unlucky people... but know wut? makes me feel lucky? liked the siamese
linda on February 21, 2007 at 08:02
I am in dia ned of cheering up and i actually cracked a smile. For
that i am incredilby grateful cheers.
claire on March 02, 2007 at 07:10
I thought it would never end!
ME on March 03, 2007 at 05:28
2007 acadia gmc
dealer on March 07, 2007 at 09:16
If I ever go to the hopital, I'm never letting the janitor come into
the room.0_0
*BURP* on March 23, 2007 at 07:02
... this doesn't make me fee any better. it just makes me more
depressed for these ppl. ... which makes my day even more bad.. :(
Jack on May 07, 2007 at 07:12
I feel.... I feel lucky.... I guess.
Luc on May 30, 2007 at 01:46
well that is just sad as if you put that 1 abt ppl dieing at 11am
every sunday its just made ma day evern worst thatnks for that if
anyone wanna chat to me add me on msn
nikki on June 20, 2007 at 04:08
hahahhahaha...... poor pig portestors.....and i wonder what did they
do to the part time sweeper at the hospital-...XD
kkpoodledoo on July 19, 2007 at 11:39
Some of these are pretty funny, it cheered me up some. But for those
who feel bad for the people in the story, don't. Mythbusters have
proved some of these stories completely busted.
GA on August 22, 2007 at 04:52
Hello??? This is not a news website!
Jyoti on October 15, 2007 at 11:05
These are uselesss adds they don't even excite me a bit it just let me
fell a bit annoyed.
Stacy on November 22, 2007 at 07:26
Cheer up ppl!wotever ur situation im sure it will get better ur life
is wot u make of it! unhappy change it! for ppl who are sad about
things that are unavoidable do something that used to make u smile!!
these funny stories cheered me up lol laughter is a medicine!!!
Lisa on January 14, 2008 at 06:40
rlly dident help...
roger on February 10, 2008 at 09:56
i like the siamese twin one. look at human ipod on utube its
bob smith on February 13, 2008 at 07:28
Ashley on March 08, 2008 at 04:23
hey ppl. i love bad days lol they are da funniest and at times can be
quiet pleasureable < hmm if thats how its spelt lol oh my mate now
says it rights but now she says she int sure haha wtf am i on bout?
lol anyways i love bad days and my only advice is to DEAL WIV IT! lol
cya ma beavers lol
samantha brown on May 06, 2008 at 05:58
you suck
rob on August 03, 2008 at 03:08
Research your stories before you post this bullshit. i.e. snopes.
The first story you posted is completely false. Good job asshat.
Idiots on August 07, 2008 at 12:55
omg this was HILARIOUS. i meanyea its sad but its the irony, wow. i
wonder if these r real stories...
kitkat on December 09, 2008 at 06:25
Was having a really bad day...what I really mean is last couple of
weeks. It had better change soon. The stories are funny even if some
of them are made up. Made me feel like my problems aren't nearly as
bad as the could be. Thanks.
makingmistakes on January 19, 2009 at 03:46
homos are gay.... LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL i laffed so hard. thank u
for making me feel better.
lols on January 31, 2009 at 07:44
HARPO............................... on April 24, 2011 at 11:07
The next time you're having a bad day, imagine this: You're a
Siamese twin. Your brother, attached at your shoulder, is
straight. You're not. He has a date coming over today. But
you have the only penis. Feel better now?
Deep thoughts 2 on May 10, 2011 at 04:51
i am so easily depressed, up to 2pm i had the best day every, then all
kinds of small things made me feel bad and now i feel so sad ! this
stories didnt made me happy but anyway they distracted me =)
:( on June 06, 2011 at 02:54
the story about the scuba diver is bs urban legend.
chrisrsherwood on June 20, 2011 at 08:27
@xjadex; Learn how to spell something right before you go insulting
and judging other people.
Rachael.(: on June 27, 2011 at 07:19
yeah im still having a bad day and now i feel bad for those
people thanks for nothing...
jd on August 07, 2011 at 09:53 says hi
Drat on August 13, 2011 at 01:01
I think the comments on this page were far more annoying than anything
that went on in my life today! Anyways, I feel a little better. Humor
usually works unless you have chronic self pitty syndrome... in which
case you should probably just stay in bed and not talk to anyone cause
you might be contageous and make productive people as sad and pathetic
as yourself.
JaneDoe on September 15, 2011 at 11:26
I an having such a bad say am in agony with my pain today, but u know
what that gave me a laugh and helped me feel a little more cheerful,
and lucky! so thanks xx
abi on December 10, 2012 at 03:49
have a nice day...
al on January 16, 2013 at 12:58
I hate it when people quote other people's problems when going trough
bad times, just because some woman saved children from dying or
because a guy escaped some accident am i gonna feel better?! To be
honest i dont care about them at all (unless it involves animals'
welfare then i do care), and no, i dont expect someone will care about
me, i know you wont, i had bad days most of my life and no one cared,
why would i care about them?, or you stupid hater repliyng and
insulting me.
........................ on January 23, 2013 at 05:09
All of you flammiing me or insulting you just give me more reasons to
dont give a d@mn about you, so you can all die for all i care, and you
stupid animal hater scumbags, and stupid retard morons too... Thank
f@cking you for the space to release some bottled anger, and as i
said, all of you can burn in hell for all i care (i know you are
thinking the same about me and saying bullshit about animals, go on i
just got this page by googling so i wont see your retard hate replies)
fuck all of you XD
.............................. on January 23, 2013 at 05:23
Lydia name is Lydia I have been rejected by my husband after 6 years
of marriage just because of another woman. And he left me and the kid
to suffer. One day when i was reading through the internet, i saw a
post on how this spell caster onM this address have help a girl to get back her Boyfriend
and i email the address and he told me that he will help me and after
4 days that i will have my husband back. I believed him because of his
polite approach and sincerity and today i am glad to let you all know
that this spell caster has the power to bring lovers back because i am
now happy with my husband
lydia on July 31, 2013 at 03:06

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