An Americanized Look At India

Here are a few things that could happen:

Mohini Devi, a housewife from Bihar sues PM for 1 Crore Rupees for
sexually molesting her. She alleges that during his election campaign in
Punjab he made overtures and advances of indecent nature - he kept saying
"Hame karna hai!" Reports say she is open to an out of the court
settlement.
J H Patel says India should reduce the number of visas issued to 'aliens'.
Demands cut in the number of American engineers being admitted into the
country says the whites ('Caucasian-Indians') are 'stealing' away the local
jobs.
Sports: Bombay 'Bombers' beat Madras 'Sambars' 3 - 0 in a 5 game cricket
tournament. Sachin Tendulkar says he wont be playing for Bombers from next
season, as the Bihar 'Lalloos' have offered him 50 lakh more to play for
them.
Tonight on Zee TV: Kabaddi world series live! over 4 countries from around
the world participating in his fast-becoming popular sport. Last time -
runner ups Germany looking to beat current champions Bangladesh. (as usual,
India is nowhere in the picture!)
Fringe: Woman sues fast food restaurant chain TFC (Tandoori Fried Chicken)
because the 'Chai' served to her was so hot that she burnt her lips.
Techno: Shiv Nadar says his company's 'Khidkiyan 98' operating system
could become the de facto standard, beating Microsoft's Windows operating
system, since it is a copy of a more advanced Macintosh OS.
India deports 250 'American - Indian' illegal aliens after they are found
working in a saree manufacturing sweat shop in Dharavi.
Hurricane "Bawandar" expected to lash the Andhra coast around
1300 hrs IDT. Watch minute by minute progress live on Doordarshan.
Amidst much controversy the Desi Gay Activists open a gay bar in calcutta
called "Bar-Bar"
San Francisco: Protesters demanded the shut down of fast food chain 'Udupi'
which was becoming immensely popular with the younger generation. "Its
not just the food" says Martha Smith, a housewife, "its the
lifestyle that our children adopt with it - wearing lungis, listening to
Karnatic music, lighting lamps and firecrackers on Halloween!".