From: IN%"firstname.lastname@example.org" 20-APR-1992 13:36:21.71
Subj: an interesting tale ...
for your amusement ...
As I sit here imbibing caffeine in the diet, liquid form, I would like to
tell you a story concerning the Bible, and of all things, the Pepsi
First, some background: A while back, all of the campus vending machines,
which had been Coke based, were mysteriously removed and replaced with
those of the Pepsi variety. I will not debate the relative merits of the
two famous carbonated beverages, that exercize is left to those who like
debate. Suffice to say that they replaced Pepsi for Coke.
Next, our small, student-center pizza place has been beset by rumors that
it was going to be bought out by a chain so that it could be more
profitable. And what is one of the leading candidates to buy it? Pizza Hut.
Parent Company? Just guess.
Finally, a very large, obnoxious, flashing sign was erected on the main
roadway leading to the CSU gymnasium. Not only did it break all the zoning
laws, but it was put near an intersection so that everyone could read it
when they were stopped at the lights. Unfortunately, many people have
decided that reading the sign is much more interesting than driving, so
that the number of close calls and "You fucking idiot"'s have increased
exponentially. The kicker to all of this, says the administration anyway,
is that in this time of severe budget cuts, not a single penny has come out
of the "general fund" to pay for the sign. In fact, it was donated by a
particular sponsor. Uh-huh.
Anyway, this chain of events is only remotely related to the real point of
all this, which is how the Bible and PepsiCo are related.
One very astute reader of the Fort Collins Coloradian (yes, that's what
it's called; no coincidence that Ganette is the publisher -- same one that
publishes, you guessed it, USA TODAY) noticed that in some chapter of the
bible it says something to the effect of "a new generation will look for a
sign and that sign will come from Jonah; ignore that sign for it is the
devil's work, etc." As you can tell, I'm certainly not a Bible scholar, but
I hope you get the general idea. According to this person, the "sign" is
really the whizzy flashing sign erected by PepsiCo, the choice of a "new
generation." How does Jonah fit in with all this? Our main sports facility
is the "Moby" gymnasium.
Therefore, this new flashing sign is the work of Satan.
Who needs to make up jokes, when reality is this funny?