From RaulG@eworld.com Thu Feb 22 20:10:42 1996
Newt Gingrich on Male Behavior: An Informal Poll
Real Life Thoughts from Newt:
"If combat means living in a ditch, females have biological problems
staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections and they
don't have upper body strength. I mean, some do, but they're relatively
rare. On the other hand, men are basically little piglets, you drop them in
the ditch, they roll around in it, doesn't matter, you know. These things
are very real. On the other hand, if combat means being on an Aegis-class
cruiser managing the computer controls for twelve ships and their rockets,
a female may be again dramatically better than a male who gets very, very
frustrated sitting in a chair all the time because males are biologically
driven to go out and hunt giraffes."
--Adjunct Professor Newt Gingrich, Reinhardt College, January 7, 1995,
"Renewing American Civilization."
The following is a letter to Rep. Newt Gingrich from Fresno Bee reporter
John Scalzi. It includes an informal poll Scalzi conducted on Newt's
remarks about -- and astonishing misunderstanding of -- typical male
Dear Mr. Gingrich:
My name is John Scalzi, and I am a columnist for the Fresno Bee in Fresno,
California. In the days since the unearthing of your comments about men,
women, combat, and the biological drive for men to hunt giraffes, I have
taken it upon myself to conduct a poll to see whether that innate
giraffe-hunting urge (and the little piglet wallowing urge) is in fact
alive and well in the average American male.
While the sample polled is statistically small (50 men, basically whoever
was handy at the time) and largely comprised of white, college-educated,
gainfully employed males, I nevertheless feel that the information gleaned
from this poll will be of some value to someone, somewhere, some time.
Perhaps you yourself, should the subject of instinctual giraffe
slaughtering come up again. Certainly for me, as it takes up the bulk of my
column, to be published soon.
Thank you for your time, and happy hunting and/or wallowing, whichever the
case may be.
1. Have you ever hunted a giraffe?
2. Have you ever had the urge to hunt a giraffe?
3. Provided the right tools and the time, would you hunt a giraffe?
4. If not a giraffe, would you hunt another African savannah animal?
5. If you had to hunt an African savannah animal, which of the following
would you choose?
a) Zebra: 2%
b) Rhino: 6%
c) Meerkat: 12%
d) Boar: 42%
e) Any creature that appeared in "The Lion King": 36%
6. Do you think giraffe would taste like chicken?
7. Might it not make more sense not to hunt giraffe, but rather to set up
8. When you see Geoffrey, the Toys 'R' Us giraffe, do you ever get the urge
to stick him with a spear?
9. Do you expect that Newt Gingrich has ever had the urge to hunt a
10. If Newt Gingrich were to hunt a giraffe, would he use tools, or simply
his own mouth?
11. Would you rather hunt a giraffe, or wallow in a ditch like a little
12. Would you generally describe yourself as a little piglet?
13. Would you describe Newt Gingrich as a little piglet?
14. If you could, would you hunt Newt Gingrich?
15. Would Newt Gingrich taste like chicken?