Editor's Note: The following post came from alt.suicide.holiday. The
original post (quoted below) is a chart that tells you the correct rope
length for hanging oneself, by weight. The editor takes no responsibility
for what use you readers choose to make of this chart.
Subject: Re: Helpful Hints from the damned
From: njs@scifi.UUCP (Nicholas J. Simicich)
Date: 7 Feb 90 14:53:38 GMT
firstname.lastname@example.org (thedamned) writes:
>Here is a helpful little list for all you people out there:
>14 stone (196 lbs.) 8 ft. 0 in.
>13 1/2 stone (189 lbs.) 8 ft. 2 in.
>13 stone (182 lbs.) 8 ft. 4 in.
>12 1/2 stone (175 lbs.) 8 ft. 6 in.
>12 stone (168 lbs.) 8 ft. 8 in.
>11 1/2 stone (161 lbs.) 8 ft. 10 in.
>11 stone (154 lbs.) 9 ft. 0 in.
>10 1/2 stone (147 lbs.) 9 ft. 2 in.
>10 stone (140 lbs.) 9 ft. 4 in.
>9 1/2 stone (133 lbs.) 9 ft. 6 in.
>9 stone (126 lbs.) 9 ft. 8 in.
>8 1/2 stone (119 lbs.) 9 ft. 10 in.
>8 stone (112 lbs.) 10 ft. 0 in.
This is actually a quite important list. Why not give everyone a ten foot
drop? Turns out that with too much of a drop, if you're too heavy, you
decapitate yourself, which is both quite messy, and doesn't give the right
impression. After all, you want to be found hanging there, with your
suicide note neatly pinned to your chest, or perhaps tastefully left on the
table beside you, and not with your body in one place and your head in
another, with a few shards of flesh hanging from the rope. Also remember
that this was for heavy hanging rope, and that thinner rope might not
survive the snap at the end of the drop. In other words, to do yourself in
with your belt, or zipcord, you will have to strangle yourself, and not
break your neck.
Another popular way to kill oneself is with impalement. In the past,
falling on one's sword was a means of doing this, but these days, a good
sword is so hard to find, so this method has fallen out of fashion. One of
my grandmother's roomers did manage to do himself in this way, by sitting
on an upright vacuum cleaner, and falling backwards on to it, but it was
never settled as to whether or not this was an intentional suicide, or
simply a very messy accident during a dangerous sexual practice.
And do, please, let people know. This fellow was not found for three days,
and it was quite difficult to get the smell and stains out so that the room
could be let again.
Nick Simicich --- uunet!bywater!scifi!njs --- email@example.com (Internet)