Signs Your Presidential Candidate Is Underqualified

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  • Promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.
  • Runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on "The West Wing."
  • His #1 choice to work on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy."
  • Outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island nullified by the fact that no one really cares.
  • Anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC thingie?"
  • At the debates, answers every question with a snarled, "You wanna wrestle?!?"
  • Vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu refugees once and for all.
  • Says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts, "I win!"
  • On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a lifeline.

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