How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four hundred and sixty-two:
1. Twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old
2. Twenty-three to deregulate the light bulb industry,
3. Sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D,
4. Thirty-four to cut the tax rate on light bulbs,
5. Fifty-three to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb,
6. Forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear
7. Two hundred and eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to
discuss naked bulbs (or screwing anything) on the Internet.