A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign
ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in uptown New
York. The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of
this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was
startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult
foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.
"I'll only marry you under three conditions."
"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.
"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat
diamond, along with a 28 inch studded matching necklace for our
Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone,
called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said,
"Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"
The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she
thought of a more difficult situation.
"Second, I want you to build me a 58-acre mansion in the richest part
of the Poconos along with a 40 acre summer home in the sweetest
vineyards of Italy."
The ambassador picked up his phone, called his personal broker in New
York, then called another broker in Italy, and after his quick
conversation, he said, "Yes, yes, I build, I build!"
The secretary was very startled, and knew she must think of a final
request that would be impossible to live up to.
"Finally," she said. "I'll only marry you if you have a 10 inch
A sad face befell the ambassador, and he cupped his face in his hands.
After weeping in his native language for a few minutes, the ambassador
slowly lifted his head and said, "Ok, ok, I cut, I cut!"