You Are Iranian If


If your mother messes up your marriage

If you are a car salesman and at the same time a singer.

If you talk behind your wife's back with your mother.
If you dress up to go to grocery store.
If you go to concert, but you never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink and check out girls.

If you never wear your wedding ring.
If you smoke 5 packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke
If you pronounce "Sure", "SHOOR".
If your favourite drink is Vodka

If you are about 35 and have no hair on your head.
If you watch Iranian program on TV, but always nag for programming.
If you are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.

If you pronounce "gas station", "gas esstation".
If you ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house.
If you claim you are Italian.

If you divorce your wife but still don't let her date anyone else.
If your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister.
If you used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a "chelokababy."

If you carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone and no one ever calls you.
If you claim your dad was a very good friend of SHAH.
If you don't own a house and have no job, but still can afford a BMW.
If you have to shave more than once a day.
If you were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington D.C.

If your in-laws come to visit and they never leave



Your parents say that they are long lost friends/relatives of Beverly Hills designer Bijan back in Iran.

You walk down Wilshire Blvd in LA and you are trying to eavesdrop on others' Farsi conversations.

Your parents tell of how they knew/saw Googoosh at parties when she was a little child back in Iran.

Within five minutes after you leave a party your parents are talking shit about all the people who they were just "ruboosy"ing while you are listening idly in the back seat of the car.

You parents want you to become a doctor or a computer programmer.

Your dad tells you daily, "Donyayeh ayandeh, donya yeh computereh"

You started college as a biology major wanting to go to med school, then you figured you'd become a dentist because its easier, then you tried computer programming, then you switched to become a lawyer, and you finally have ended up as a real estate agent.

You use the phrase "Ghorbooneh Shoma" or "Ghorbonat" or "Ghorboonet" at least 30 times a day.

You start every sentence with "Bebeen"

When you go to Vegas you try to act as if you are cooler than anyone else that may resemble a persian.

You walk down the street with your cell phone in your hand, whereas you could stick it in your pocket or belt clip.

You've always wondered (especially as a child) why Hagee Feeruz was black.

You've always found it difficult (especially as a child) to eat pesteh.

Male=You wish Catherine Bell was your wife because she's half persian and incredible.

Female=you own a pair of black pants

Someone you know has tried to import a beemer or benz from Europe to save >money and it always seems to be breaking down due to emissions conversions made to it.

Your parents pronounce their w's as v's-vhat, vhere, vhen, vhy

Your parents forget the 'h' in 'th' and pronounce their 'th's' as 'd's' -dhat, dheir, dhen

When Andre Aghassi comes up you immediately pronounce it "aghassi" instead of "agasi" then you start about how his dad was a famous iranian boxer.

When you see a farsi/Iranian license plate on the road like "Shaytoon" or "Alis Beemr" you immediately cut through 3 lanes of traffic and try to speed up to see whose in the car.

You get excited when a cashier is persian

You've noticed Mexicans working as chefs at your neighborhood Chelokababi and have wondered about it.

You've wondered why Pierre Omidyar, arguably the world's richest persian, doesn't use his abundance of money to aid his home country where people can't walk outside because of air pollution.

When a discussion about movies come up someone mentions what a good movie 'Children of Heaven' was and what a negative portrayal 'Not Without My Daughter' was

You have a free notepad or refrigerator magnet of an Iranian real estate agent or lawyer.

You've read Ways You Know Your Persian Emails on the Web and laughed uncontrollably at similarities while forwarding it to your friends and reminding them of how they fit that stereotype!

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