Here is a typical scene in an Iranian airport:
*You always complain about Iran Air yet you keep travelling on it because
you get a free "daakhelee" ticket to Kish.
*You always promise yourself that you'll fly with British Airways, Air
France, Luthansa next year.
*You always get the same food in Iran Air of either "Cheeeeeken or ESteak"
*The difference between Economy Class and Homa class is that there is a bit
more leg room, and the "mehmaandars" lower their roosaries when they come
and serve you.
*You notice how the Iraqi and Pakistani aakhoond get the best treatment.
*You have an Iranian-Canadian, an Iranian-American and a Iranian-German
sitting around you and the Iranian-English keeps telling them how lucky they
are being in those countries.
*You seem to see that same old man who still wears his Immortal Guard Shahee
uniform whenever you travel to Iran.
*You always have that kid behind you who keeps either
screaming/shouting/whining/pushing and pulling your chair/pulling your
hair/spilling water while you put on the best fake smile you can telling
his/her mother "Eybee nadareh"
*You have your eye on that hot babe/guy sitting on the other side.
*You hate those shitty Iranian films they put on. Most of them are about the
Qajar era of Iran.
*You close your eyes when they announce the safety instructions in that
*Those cheap headphones they give to you to listen to the films always
*They never seem to give enough coke, sorry Zam-Zam.
*You have that 87 year old granny stealing the luggage compartment on top of
*You bring too much luggage.
*You argue about the "jareemeh" for the luggage.
*The passport control women who is a khaharaneh Zaynab infuriates you when
she looks at you, then your photo, looks at you then your photo, looks at
you, then your photo, looks at you then your photo, looks at you then your
photo,YES THATS F.... ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and then asks for your name,
*You wait 3 hours in the ques for passport checks and luggage control.
*You always seem to find that there are 7 luggages which are identical to
*The hamal asks if you need any help, and then when you find out he's not
complimentary you slip him 500 tomans, he then looks at you, then the money
ands then says "dollar", you say "Chee?" he says "dollar daaree", you say
"che ghadr?" he says "50!!!!!!!", you say "Gooreh Pedarit!" and take your
luggage off him.
*FINALLY, FINALLY, you pass the luggage checks, you are then faced with
37,897 Iranians in Mehrabad, with their faces pressed against the glass
screen waving at you. You wave at one of them, all of them wave at you. You
get to the other side with about every daei, khaaleh, amoo, ameh, pesar
khaaleh, dokhtar amoo kissing and hugging you, while they take your luggage
from your exhausted arms.
*You are in Iran.
Ba hamyeh badihash o khobihash, IRAN is the best!!!!!!!!!