As far as anyone knows we're a nice, normal family.
-- Homer Simpson There's No Disgrace Like Home...
It says it's for dogs, but she can't read.
-- Homer Simpson Simpson's Roasting on an Open Fire...
Lisa: Remember, Dad. The handle of the Big Dipper points to the North Star.
Homer: That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class....
Yeah. Wait a minute. It's the guy from TV. My kid's hero.
..Cruddy...Crummy...Krusty the Clown! -- Homer Simpson Krusty Gets Busted...
Uh, so. Let's have a conversation. Uh, I think we'll find that we have very little in common.
-- Homer Simpson The Last Temptation of Home...
Don't go easy on each other just because you're brother and sister.
I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love. -- Homer Simpson Lisa on Ice...
I don't want to look like a weirdo. I'll just go with a muumuu.
-- Homer Simpson King-Size Home...
Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids!
Eat them. -- Homer Simpson Treehouse of Horror VII...
Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
-- Homer Simpson Lisa the Vegetaria...
You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me.
She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and, God bless her soul, she was really onto something....