- It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer Goes To College... - We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those
"Police Academy" movies?
For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin',
did you?... - Stealing?! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that
guy who gives those sermons at church?
Captain What's-his-name?
-- Homer Simpson
Marge Be Not Proud... - Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and
old people are useless.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Vigilante... - Homer: Little baby batter,
Can't control his bladder!
Burns: Mmm...Crude, but I like it. What do you say we freshen up out
little drinkie poos?... - Homer: Hey, Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing,
and we can't both win.
Flanders:
Actually, Simpson, we were praying that no one gets hurt.
Dead Putting Society... - Asleep at the switch! I wasn't asleep! I was drunk!
-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Vigilante
- Hey! Let's do that 2,000-pound man thing. I'll be that Carl Reiner guy,
and you be what's-his-face.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer vs. Patty and Selma... - Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time.
Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow.... - Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday?
I
mean, isn't God everywhere?
-- Homer Simpson
Homer the Heretic...
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