It was the most I ever threw up, and it changed my life forever.
-- Homer Simpson Homer Goes To College...
We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those "Police Academy" movies?
For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?...
Stealing?! How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church?
Captain What's-his-name? -- Homer Simpson Marge Be Not Proud...
Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.
-- Homer Simpson Homer the Vigilante...
Homer: Little baby batter, Can't control his bladder!
Burns: Mmm...Crude, but I like it. What do you say we freshen up out little drinkie poos?...
Homer: Hey, Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing, and we can't both win.
Flanders: Actually, Simpson, we were praying that no one gets hurt. Dead Putting Society...
Asleep at the switch! I wasn't asleep! I was drunk! -- Homer Simpson Homer the Vigilante
Hey! Let's do that 2,000-pound man thing. I'll be that Carl Reiner guy, and you be what's-his-face.
-- Homer Simpson Homer vs. Patty and Selma...
Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time.
Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow....
Hey, what's the big deal about going to some building every Sunday?
I mean, isn't God everywhere? -- Homer Simpson Homer the Heretic...