Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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How many Object Oriented programmers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they send it a message, and it changes itself....
How many off-campus landlords -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. The students will just wreck it anyhow, so why bother?...
How many of Jed's followers -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
FORNICATION! It's a sin to screw anywhere, even in light bulbs....
How many of me -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it, one to make up a joke about it, and one to spend the next 6 months going round telling it to everyone....
How many of those dead animals you see on the highway are suicides? -- Dennis Mille
How many old macrobiotics -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to change it, three to hold the ladder, and one to call the ambulance....
How many Oliver Norths -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Hell, how can he? He sold all the light bulbs to Iran....
How many, once lauded in song, are given over to the forgotte
and how many who sung their praises are clean gone long ago!...
How many one-armed people -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, as long as he kept the till receipt....
How many operating systems are required to screw in a light bulb?
Just one-Microsoft is making a special version of Windows for it....

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