Bart: Wow, Dad, you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel?
Homer: Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his conversion by Ambrose of Milan....
That's fine for you, Marge. But I used to rock and roll all night and party every day.
Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky....
Good morning, fellow employee. You'll notice that I am now a model worker.
We should continue this conversation later, during the designated break periods....
A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center.
-- Homer Simpson Lisa the Greek...
Apu: You look familiar, sir. Are you on the television or something?
Homer: Sorry, buddy. You got me confused with Fred Flintstone. Homer's Night Ou...
Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddys, and kids with fake IDs.
-- Homer Simpson The Springfield File...
Marge: Homer, remember you promised you'd try to limit pork to six servings a week?
Homer: Marge, I'm only human. Principal Charming...
Oh, look at me! I'm making people happy. I'm the magical man from Happyland in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Laaane!
Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. -- Homer Simpson Flaming Moe'...
I may just quit my job at the plant to become a full-time stock market guy.
-- Homer Simpson Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerke...
Why did this have to happen now, during prime time, when TV's brightest stars come out to shine?
-- Homer Simpson Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes?...