- There was a young girl in Berlin
Who was fucked by an elderly Finn.
Though he diddled his best,
And fucked her with zest,
She kept asking, "Hey, Pop, is it in?...
- I wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda,
I was lewd, but my God!
he was lewder.
She said it was crude
To be wooed in the nude-,
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her!...
- There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You`re a tight one.
She replied, " `Pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole...
- A young woman got married at Chester,
Her mother she kissed and she blessed her.
Says she, "You`re in luck,
He's a stunning good fuck,
For I`ve had him myself down in Leicester....
- There was a young lady of Dover
Whose passion was such that it drove her
To cry, when you came,
What a shame!
Well, now we shall have to start over....
- There was a young fellow named Goody
Who claimed that he wouldn't, but would he?
If he found himself nude
With a gal in the mood,
The question's not would he but could he?...
- A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
- There was a young plumber of Leigh
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea.
She said, "Stop your plumbing,
There`s somebody coming!...
- Said a lecherous fellow named Shea,
When his prick wouldn't rise for a lay,
"You must seize it, and squeeze it,
And tease it, and please it,
For Rome wasn`t built in a day.
- My back aches. My penis is sore.
I simply can't fuck any more.
I'm dripping with sweat,
And you haven't come yet;
And, my God! it`s a quarter to four!...