There once was a hacker named Ken Who inherited truckloads of Yen So he built him some chicks Of silicon chips And hasn't been heard from since then.
There once was a lady from Exeter, So pretty that men craned their necks at her.
One was even so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at her....
There once was a plumber from Leigh, Who was plumbing his maid by the sea, Said she, "Please stop plumbing, I think someone's coming!
Said he, "Yes I know love, it's me....
There once was a queen of Bulgaria Whose bush had grown hairier and hairier, Till a prince from Peru Who came up for a screw Had to hunt for her cunt with a terrier.
There once was a Scot named McAmeter With a tool of prodigious diameter.
It was not the size That cause such surprise; 'Twas his rhythm -- iambic pentameter....
There once was a young man named Gene Who invented a screwing machine Concave and convex It served either sex And it played with itself in between.
There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, Till a Spanish grandee, Got her off with his knee, And she burned all her works with abhorrence.
There was a gay countess of Bray, And you may think it odd when I say, That in spite of high station, Rank and education, She always spelled cunt with a "k".
There was a young fellow named Bliss Whose sex life was strangely amiss, For even with Venus His recalcitrant penis Would never do better than t h i s .
There was a young girl from Hong Kong Whose cervical cap was a gong.
She said with a yell, As a shot rang her bell, "I'll give you a ding for a dong!...