My wife just got pregnant... She took seriously what was poked at her in fun!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.
What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
"I don't know, what?" "Popeye beat the shit out of him!...
Stupid commercial. Sears says Kenmore appliances are found in one out of two homes in America.
I wonder which two homes they took the survey at?...
Q: Where did Prince Charles spend his honeymoon? A: Indiana.
The crime problem is so bad in this city, the mayor's had to designate school-free drug zones.
Someone had scrawled the following on a wall at a college somewhere
Is there intelligent life on Earth? A week or so later someone else tacked o...
A guy was lost on the Mall by the Washington Monument.
He stopped a policeman and asked, "What side is the State Dept....
Q: Why do computers manage to do things so quickly?
Anonymous Secretary: They don't have to answer the phone....
Sang froid is when you find your SO in bed with someone else, and you shoot them both in cold blood.
Savoir faire is when you find your SO in bed with someone else, but you laugh because today i...