How many Yorkshiremen does it take to do the washing up? None, it's women's work!
What is green and turns red at the flick of a switch? A frog in a liquidiser!
What is brown and taps on the window? A baby in a microwave.
What is red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing razor blades.
Three men, two Americans and an <ethnic>, are standing at the top of Empire State Building.
It is quite windy and one of the Americans say...
mors certa, hora incerta - dead certain, my clock is wrong
What do you call a day that follows 2 days of rain ? Monday.
Three cars collide. They get out. First man: "I'm sorry.
First Lady: "I'm sorry, too." Last driver: "I'm sorry three....
Why does a duck have flat feet? To stamp out fire in the woods.
Why does an elephant have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks....
South Africa has just been achieving the biggest computer in the world, and after programming it using the most powerful AI techniques they could find, is now able to predict the future.