Monday morning God decided that the world had reached the point of no
return. So, he called Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin, and Bill Gates to
the gates of heaven. He informed them of his decision and told them
to go back to their people and prepare them for the end of the world
on Thursday.

Boris Yeltsin gets on state television and tells his people that he
has bad news and worse news. After decades of telling the Soviet
citizens that there is no God, he now realizes that he was wrong. He
has seen God with his own eyes. Worse yet, God has decided to destroy
the world and each person needs to prepare for Thursday as each sees
fit.

Bill Clinton calls a press conference and says that he has good news
and bad news. After centuries of telling the US citizens that there
is a God, he has proof that we've been right. He has seen God with
his own eyes. But the bad news is that God has decided to destroy the
world and each person needs to prepare for Thursday as each sees fit.

Bill Gates calls an all-hands meeting. He says that he has wonderful
news and even more wonderful news. God, by calling him to the gates
of heaven with the leaders of the two most powerful nations in the
world, has just confirmed how important Bill Gates really is. The
even better news is that on Thursday, IBM will stop shipping OS/2.