Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

Home › Fortune Cookies › Miscellaneous Collections

You know you're in trouble when you forget your skates at home.
You know you're old when your toupee turns gray.
You know you're paranoid when you can't think of anything that's your fault.
-- Robert Hutchins -- Self Test for Paranoia...
You know you're the first one to pop a beer. -- Women vs. Bee
You know you're there when they steal your taglines.
You know your jeans are too tight, if it takes pliers to get to your wallet.
You know you'r paranoid about security when: Your co-workers picture you as a twinnosed triclope.
You know your really somebody in the software world when Richard Stallman complains about you having a gratuitous patent.
You know your son is growing up when he looks at a girl the way he used to look at chocolate cake.
You know your vacation is a success if, when you come home, you discover that the grass has not grown sufficiently to require an immediate cutting.

< previous

9092