Related:

• You know that your son is growing up when he stops asking you where he came from and refuses to tell you where he is going.
• Beat your son every day; you may not know why, but he will.
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
  (2) You put your bra on backwards and it fits better....
• She was ugly! She was known as a two-bagger. That's a girl who's so ugly, when you go out with her you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
  She was so ugly, you look in the dictionary under "ugly" and you see her picture....
• If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he had lost his senses.
  When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him....
• You know the romance is not as warm as once it was when he leaves the motor running as he drops off his girl friend after a date.
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.
  And when you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you. -- Friedrich Nietzsche...