Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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If I want to hit a grounder, I hit the bottom third of the ball.
If I want to hit a line drive, I hit the middle third, and if I want to hit a pop fly I hit the top third....
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, "Congratulations, it's a girl," I think a good gag would be to get real mad and yell, "A girl!
? You must have me mixed up with...
If *I* was a woman - I'd just spend all my time at home fondling my breasts. -- Matthew J Ross.
If I was being executed by injection, I'd clean up my cell real neat.
Then, when they came to get me, I'd say, "Injection?...
If I was Elvis, would you screw me? -- Pick up line
If I was human I would..Wait a minute! I AM Huma
If I =wasn't= crazy I'd be insane by now! <-No joke there
If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised.
Wait a minute! I thought WE wo...

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