Picture the scenario: it's first day back at school after the Summer Hols and all the little infants are fidgeting about with excitement etc.
.. Teacher: Okay, kids, we'll begin the year by discu...
A man walks into the chemist's: "Have you got cotton wool balls?
Assistant: "What do you think I am, a teddy bear?...
A twin is born. Mother happy. Father happy. Mothe
Just look at them lovely babies..." Father takes one by the head, and the little neckie breaks....
An American tourist is visiting Russia, and he's talking with a Russian about the fact that not many people in Russia own cars.
The American says, "I can't belive you don't have cars here! How do...
A man from Farmborough goes into a pub with a pig under his arm.
As he walks in, the barman spots him and exclaims, "Hell fire !...
Anyway, Amos is getting on in years and his family decides that he is just too much of a burden anymore.
Time to put him in a retirement home. So they take him out to Sunny Hills Retirement Commu...
A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist.
He finishes up one session by telling him, "Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it....
Three women are having lunch, discussing their husbands.
The first says, "My husband is cheating on me, I just know it....
The following is a courtroom exchange between a defense attorney and a farmer with a bodily injury claim.
It came from a Houston, Texas insurance agent. Attorney: "At the scene of the accident, di...
Three squaws were each preparing for the birth of their first child.