- Don't cry darling, Daddy had to drown the cat."
"Yes I know, but he promised I could do it.
- Q. What is long, hard, and carries seamen?
A. A submarine.
- As a little girl is coming out of school, a man pulls up in his car, winds down
the window and says to her
"I'll give you a sweet if you'll get in the car with me.
The little girl says "No, I...
- Q: Which is the odd one out - a baked bean, a soya bean or a vibrator?
A: The baked bean - the other two are meat substitutes!...
- There was a businessman, and he was feeling really crook, and he went
to see the Doctor about it.
The doctor says to him "Well, it must be
your diet, what sort of greens do you eat?...
- One day, Moses, Jesus and an old man are golfing. Moses steps up to the
tee and hits the ball.
It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in
the water trap....
- Tonto and the Lone Ranger were lost on the prarie one day.
Ranger, says to Tonto: "Use your Indian instincts and get us out of this
- Gladstone: "You will either be shot for treason, or die of a grievous
Disraeli: "That depends, sir, on whether I embrace your morals or your
- Q: What's the oldest airline company?
A: FINNAIR: when Jesus went to heaven, He didn't ascend on a cloud,
He just vanished in FINNAIR.
- A rich American tourist was holidaying in Rome, and was intent
on seeing the Pope.
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