Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

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I told my doctor I got all the exercise I needed being a pallbearer for all my friends who run and do exercises!
-- Sir Winston Churchill...
I told my doctor I wanted to stop aging. He gave me a gun!
I told my mother I was going to have natural childbirth.
She said to me, "Linda, you've been taking drugs all your life....
I told someone I was getting married, and they said, "Have you picked a date yet?
I said, "Wow, you can bring a date to your own wedding?" What a country! -- Yakov Smirnoff...
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
-- Henny Youngma...
I *told* the Muse I'm not a masochist, so why is the whip out again?
I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.
-- Excerpt from insurance form....
I told the truth Lord! How can I learn any moral lesson if you keep confusing me like this.
-- Philipe The Mouse, "Ladyhawke...
I told you damn rabbits 'Only two!'. -- Noah, loading up the Ark
I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!

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