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• Hobbes, I guess we learned a valuable lesson from the duplicating mess.
  .. and that is, um...it's that, well...Okay, so we didn't learn any big lesson....
• Listen to me, Lucy Moran, you just listen. When the Tacoma Sperm Bank was looking for donors, naturally I applied.
  It's my civic duty and I like whales. A routine physical examination revealed that I'm sterile....
• I told her, "Like (*&^%$# you are!
• I can learn to be my own best friend, but then I remember I don't really like me. -- Dan Goodma
• Marge: What makes you think this Darryl Strawberry character is better than you?
  Homer: Marge, forget it. He's bigger than me, faster than me, stronger than me, and he already has more friends around the plant than I do....
• My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers.
  He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was....
• While walking down a crowded City street the other day
  I heard a little urchin To a comrade turn and say, "Say, Chimmey, lemme tell youse, I'd be happy as a clam If only I was de feller dat Me mudder t'inks I am....
• Well, we've come full circle, Lord; I'd like to think there's some higher meaning to all this.
  It would certainly reflect well on you. -- Matthew Broderick in "Ladyhawke...
• Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty.
  I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, "Is someone sitting there?...