Miscellaneous Collections

How many terrorists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to change the bulb, and 5 to take the credit when it explodes....
How many terrorists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty - one to do it and nineteen to develop a distraction....
How many terrorists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
Two: one to stage a suicide attack on the bulb and another to claim responsibility in phone call to the news media....
How many Thatcherites -- does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's up to the private sector to provide the finance for it....
How many theoretical physicists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
If you know how many, you can't know if they've done it yet....
How many theoretical physicists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
If you want to know how many, you can observe them as they come in the door....
How many theoretical physicists -- does it take to change a light bulb?
How many things, both just and unjust, are sanctioned by custom!
-- Terence (185-159 BC) -- Heautontimoroumenos, Act iv, Sc. 7, 11, (839.)...
How many things by season season'd are To their right praise and true perfection!
-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), The Merchant of Venice -- Act. v, Sc. 1...
How many thought police -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. There never was any light bulb....

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