Understanding Engineers

HomeFunplexJob

Understanding Engineers - Take one

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said,
'Where did you get such a great bike?'
The second engineer replied, 'Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, 'Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway.'


Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes !'
The doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!'
The priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
He said, 'Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?'
The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'
The doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'
The engineer said, 'Why can't they play at night?'


Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.


Understanding Engineers - Take Five

The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with an arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'


Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, 'It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.'
Another said, 'No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.'
The last one said, 'No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer.
Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?'

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said,
'If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess.'
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.'
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, 'If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want.'
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, 'What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?'
The engineer said, 'Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool.


More Job

  1. [page] 10 Husbands
  2. [page] 3-Minute Management Course
  3. [page] ATM Fees
  4. [page] A Helpdesk Log
  5. [page] Accountant Anthropology
  6. [page] Administratum: A Chemical Analysis
  7. [page] Are You Qualified To Be A Professional?
  8. [page] Business Travel Policy Guidelines
  9. [page] Businessman
  10. [page] CEO In Action
  11. [page] CV Mistakes
  12. [picture] Calling In Sick
  13. [page] Career In Law Enforcement
  14. [page] Casual Day Memos
  15. [picture] Casual Day At Work
  16. [picture] Checking Your Desk
  17. [picture] Coke And Pepsi
  18. [page] Commuting For Beginners
  19. [page] Company Policies
  20. [picture] Complain 001
  21. [picture] Complain 002
  22. [picture] Complain 003
  23. [picture] Complain 004
  24. [picture] Complain 005
  25. [page] Computer Engineer
  26. [page] Consultant
  27. [page] Corporate Astrology
  28. [page] Corporate Envelope Solution
  29. [page] Corporate Lessons
  30. [page] Corporate Philanthropy-Misanthropy Ratio Holding Steady
  31. [page] Dear Bank Manager,
  32. [page] Dentist
  33. [page] Diary Of A Federal Employee
  34. [page] Differences Between You And Your Boss
  35. [page] Dress As An IRS Agent For Halloween
  36. [page] Economic Theory Of Women
  37. [page] Engineer And Manager
  38. [page] Evolution Of Product Documentation
  39. [page] Fight Office Boredom!
  40. [page] First Men In Tights And Then Men In Ties
  41. [page] Generation X Office Lingo
  42. [page] Get Email Notifications From NetMind When This Page Is Updated
  43. [page] Healthy Competition
  44. [page] How I Made A Fortune
  45. [picture] How Rumours Start In The Office
  46. [page] How To Attend A Meeting
  47. [page] How To Enhance The Manager-Employee Relationship
  48. [page] How To Handle A Difficult Customer
  49. [page] How To Interpret A Job Advertisement
  50. [page] How To Interpret A Resume
  51. [page] How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace
  52. [page] How To Not Get A Job
  53. [page] How To Recognize A Company Car
  54. [picture] How To Save Your Job
  55. [picture] How To Sleep At Work Without Being Caught
  56. [page] How To Write A Bulletin
  57. [page] Human Resource Guidebook
  58. [page] ID Ten T
  59. [page] Ideal Job Requirements
  60. [page] Interview Tips
  61. [page] Job Application
  62. [page] Job Application Question
  63. [page] Journalists And The Stock Market
  64. [page] Lawyers Never Ask A Witness
  65. [page] Lawyers Stupid Question
  66. [page] Letter Of Recommendation
  67. [page] Management Definitions
  68. [page] Management Theory
  69. [page] Managing Director
  70. [page] Marketing
  71. [picture] Matador Is In A Big Trouble
  72. [page] Mistake
  73. [page] Money
  74. [page] Mr Rogers In The Nuclear Neighborhood
  75. [page] Net Snoop
  76. [page] New Company Policy
  77. [page] Occupational Descriptions
  78. [picture] Office Life
  79. [picture] Organization Chart Birds Version
  80. [page] Organizational Theory -- Corporate Rowing
  81. [picture] Over 30 And Below 30 Employees
  82. [page] Pilot
  83. [picture] Positions And Their Responsibilities
  84. [page] Prison Life Vs A Full-Time Job
  85. [page] Prison Vs Work
  86. [page] Pro Complainer Shares Secrets
  87. [picture] Project Illustrated
  88. [page] Project Manager
  89. [picture] Project Phases
  90. [page] Rejection Rejection Letter
  91. [page] Resume Tips
  92. [page] Rules For Frequent Flyers
  93. [page] Rush Job Calendar
  94. [page] Same Doctor Please
  95. [page] Smart Thinker
  96. [page] Someday, Somehow
  97. [page] Superior Customer Service Relations
  98. [page] Surgeons
  99. [page] Surgeons Talking About Patients
  100. [page] TV Dads: Who Brings Home How Much Bacon?
  101. [page] Taxi Driver
  102. [page] Telemarketing
  103. [page] The Afterlife
  104. [page] The American Dream
  105. [page] The Barber
  106. [page] The Electrical Engineer Versus The Programmer
  107. [page] The Future Of Advertising
  108. [page] The Postman
  109. [page] The Purchase
  110. [page] The Six Phases Of Every Project
  111. [page] The Truth About Investments
  112. [page] The Worst Job
  113. [page] Things Noted On Real Resumes
  114. [page] Thoughts On Banking
  115. [page] Tips From Secretaries To Managers: Enhancing The Relationship
  116. [page] Top Ten Ways To Get Fired
  117. [page] True Stories Of The Doctors
  118. [page] Truth In Seminars
  119. [page] Understanding Engineers
  120. [page] Vision Problems At Work
  121. [page] Vocational Vacation Spots
  122. [page] Watch What You Ask For
  123. [page] Ways To Amuse Yourself During A Business Trip
  124. [picture] Why Arent You Working
  125. [page] Will Work For Food
  126. [picture] You Can Never Win