How To Write A Bulletin

HomeFunplexJob

How to Send Good Bulls


Welcome to Teach Yourself Bulletin-Writing! Here are some simple rules to
help you in the gentle art of bulletin-writing.


TITLE/SUBJECT
-------------
This is very important, as it is the first thing that users will see of your
bulletin. Titles like "PLEASE READ" or "URGENT MESSAGE" are ideal, though
something like "A345/23 D cct wanted" is also quite acceptable. On no
account give any clear indication as to what the bulletin is actually about.
Appeal to people's curiosity; after all, they've got all day to browse
through the bulletins!

Alternatively, you can mention someone's callsign in the title, but in a way
which implies that you are insulting them even if you aren't.


LETTER CASE
-----------
always type in lower case, and do not use any capitals anywhere in a
sentence, (not even at the beginning), as this looks inconsistent and
untidy. abbreviations like rsgb, dti, pc etc. look much nicer in lower case.

ALTERNATIVELY, USE UPPER CASE THROUGHOUT, AS THIS CAN GIVE THE IMPRESSION
YOU ARE SHOUTING, SO WILL HAVE MORE IMPACT!


PUNCTUATION
-----------
Do not litter your bulletin with messy punctuation but just let the prose
flow without any cumbersome and unnecessary interruption there is also the
added benefit that the person reading the bull will be totally unable to
pause for breath and so will continue to read going more and more purple in
the face until they foam at the mouth and fall over backwards which you
might enjoy if you dont like them


WORD WRAP
---------
Do avoid the temptation to neatly wrap text around at the end of the line;
just carry on typing without pressing «Return». The other guy won't mind
downloading your bulletin into a text editor or word processor so he can then
set the linelength to 77
characters or something like that. After all, what's the use in having all
these fancy bits of software if you can't use them?


LINE LENGTH
-----------
A exception to this rule applies if
you have one of these extra special
superior terminals or micros with a
40-column display.



Then, the trick is to start a new
line every 37 characters or so, and
make up for it by leaving plenty
of space between paragraphs.



Short paragraphs are also pleasing.



Especially with no verbs.



This won't cause any problems for
anyone wanting to print your
bulletin on a printer; all they've
got to do is load it into a word
processor and set it into two
columns - easy!

If you want to really show off your skills, why not try and combination of
word wrap and short line lengths,
to give a very appealing look
which people will find really interesting to look at. This takes some
practice, so don't try this until
you've got really accomplished
at some of the other effects.


LINE SPACING
------------
A nice little trick is to use double-line spacing on all your text so that

there is plenty of room for the reader to add notes of their own after

printing it out. Don't worry about it taking up more paper, as the other guy

can always turn it round and use both sides - no problem.


SPELLING
--------
This is verry inpotant indede, as allthogh most peeple make quiet a lot off
speling misteaks, specally when typin 'live', it takes reel feeness to make
a poper job off it and spel at leest fife words rong inn ever sentenc. No
one wil mind, and in fakt most peeple enjoy figyurin out wot the wordz where
supposed too be in the ferst plaice.


GRAMMAR
-------
Well this is a tricky one really. To boldly split infinitives is a good
idea. And to start a sentence with a conjunction is too. Sentences also look
better. With no verbs. Messing with the order word about also nice looks. It
isn't terribly unlike a good idea to use double-negatives and things of that
nature.


CONTENT
-------
No hard and fast rules here. However, it helps if you type your bulletin
very last at night, when you are tired and irritable, or when you've
staggered home from the pub after drinking eleventeen pints of fizzy lager.
Don't bother to verify any information, but shoot from the hip and tell all
those wallies what you think of them - you're entitled to your opinion
aren't you? They're always having a go at you, and if there's one thing you
can't stand, it's intolerance!


EQUIPMENT
---------
A 40-column monitor or an old TV with a fuzzy picture will do nicely. In
most cases using a word-processor is a no-no, as it tends to prevent you
achieving most of the wonderful effects I have demonstrated. Also, it's
better to type 'live' so that the text soon scrolls off the screen, and you
forget what you said earlier in the bull. It comes across as being more
natural and spontaneous this way.
===========================================================================

Well, I hope that gives you a few ideas for your own bulletins. You rarely
see many of these techniques used together, though most of us use one or two
of them, such as bad spelling. However, you do occasionally come across
bulletins which employ many or even most of these techniques, and if you
come across one you will truly be in the presence of genius!




More Job

  1. [page] 10 Husbands
  2. [page] 3-Minute Management Course
  3. [page] ATM Fees
  4. [page] A Helpdesk Log
  5. [page] Accountant Anthropology
  6. [page] Administratum: A Chemical Analysis
  7. [page] Are You Qualified To Be A Professional?
  8. [page] Business Travel Policy Guidelines
  9. [page] Businessman
  10. [page] CEO In Action
  11. [page] CV Mistakes
  12. [picture] Calling In Sick
  13. [page] Career In Law Enforcement
  14. [page] Casual Day Memos
  15. [picture] Casual Day At Work
  16. [picture] Checking Your Desk
  17. [picture] Coke And Pepsi
  18. [page] Commuting For Beginners
  19. [page] Company Policies
  20. [picture] Complain 001
  21. [picture] Complain 002
  22. [picture] Complain 003
  23. [picture] Complain 004
  24. [picture] Complain 005
  25. [page] Computer Engineer
  26. [page] Consultant
  27. [page] Corporate Astrology
  28. [page] Corporate Envelope Solution
  29. [page] Corporate Lessons
  30. [page] Corporate Philanthropy-Misanthropy Ratio Holding Steady
  31. [page] Dear Bank Manager,
  32. [page] Dentist
  33. [page] Diary Of A Federal Employee
  34. [page] Differences Between You And Your Boss
  35. [page] Dress As An IRS Agent For Halloween
  36. [page] Economic Theory Of Women
  37. [page] Engineer And Manager
  38. [page] Evolution Of Product Documentation
  39. [page] Fight Office Boredom!
  40. [page] First Men In Tights And Then Men In Ties
  41. [page] Generation X Office Lingo
  42. [page] Get Email Notifications From NetMind When This Page Is Updated
  43. [page] Healthy Competition
  44. [page] How I Made A Fortune
  45. [picture] How Rumours Start In The Office
  46. [page] How To Attend A Meeting
  47. [page] How To Enhance The Manager-Employee Relationship
  48. [page] How To Handle A Difficult Customer
  49. [page] How To Interpret A Job Advertisement
  50. [page] How To Interpret A Resume
  51. [page] How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace
  52. [page] How To Not Get A Job
  53. [page] How To Recognize A Company Car
  54. [picture] How To Save Your Job
  55. [picture] How To Sleep At Work Without Being Caught
  56. [page] How To Write A Bulletin
  57. [page] Human Resource Guidebook
  58. [page] ID Ten T
  59. [page] Ideal Job Requirements
  60. [page] Interview Tips
  61. [page] Job Application
  62. [page] Job Application Question
  63. [page] Journalists And The Stock Market
  64. [page] Lawyers Never Ask A Witness
  65. [page] Lawyers Stupid Question
  66. [page] Letter Of Recommendation
  67. [page] Management Definitions
  68. [page] Management Theory
  69. [page] Managing Director
  70. [page] Marketing
  71. [picture] Matador Is In A Big Trouble
  72. [page] Mistake
  73. [page] Money
  74. [page] Mr Rogers In The Nuclear Neighborhood
  75. [page] Net Snoop
  76. [page] New Company Policy
  77. [page] Occupational Descriptions
  78. [picture] Office Life
  79. [picture] Organization Chart Birds Version
  80. [page] Organizational Theory -- Corporate Rowing
  81. [picture] Over 30 And Below 30 Employees
  82. [page] Pilot
  83. [picture] Positions And Their Responsibilities
  84. [page] Prison Life Vs A Full-Time Job
  85. [page] Prison Vs Work
  86. [page] Pro Complainer Shares Secrets
  87. [picture] Project Illustrated
  88. [page] Project Manager
  89. [picture] Project Phases
  90. [page] Rejection Rejection Letter
  91. [page] Resume Tips
  92. [page] Rules For Frequent Flyers
  93. [page] Rush Job Calendar
  94. [page] Same Doctor Please
  95. [page] Smart Thinker
  96. [page] Someday, Somehow
  97. [page] Superior Customer Service Relations
  98. [page] Surgeons
  99. [page] Surgeons Talking About Patients
  100. [page] TV Dads: Who Brings Home How Much Bacon?
  101. [page] Taxi Driver
  102. [page] Telemarketing
  103. [page] The Afterlife
  104. [page] The American Dream
  105. [page] The Barber
  106. [page] The Electrical Engineer Versus The Programmer
  107. [page] The Future Of Advertising
  108. [page] The Postman
  109. [page] The Purchase
  110. [page] The Six Phases Of Every Project
  111. [page] The Truth About Investments
  112. [page] The Worst Job
  113. [page] Things Noted On Real Resumes
  114. [page] Thoughts On Banking
  115. [page] Tips From Secretaries To Managers: Enhancing The Relationship
  116. [page] Top Ten Ways To Get Fired
  117. [page] True Stories Of The Doctors
  118. [page] Truth In Seminars
  119. [page] Understanding Engineers
  120. [page] Vision Problems At Work
  121. [page] Vocational Vacation Spots
  122. [page] Watch What You Ask For
  123. [page] Ways To Amuse Yourself During A Business Trip
  124. [picture] Why Arent You Working
  125. [page] Will Work For Food
  126. [picture] You Can Never Win