- Homer: Look, I'm supposed to get a physics tutor.
Well, you've come to the right place then. If there's one thing
we know, it is science....
- Homer: We played Dungeons & Dragons for three hours!
Then I was slain
by an elf.
Bart: Listen to yourself, ma...
- Nerd 1: Come on, Mr. Simpson, you'll never pass this course if you don't
know the periodic table.
Homer: Ehh, I'll write it on my hand.
Nerd 1: Ho! Including all known lanthanides and actini...
- Homer: Come on, guys. Look at yourselves! All you do is study.
going to show you the true meaning of college...
- Ah, the college road-trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled
-- Homer, "Homer Goes to College...
- Marge: If you're going for a ride, I'd like you to take Bart and Lisa.
Homer: [plaintively] But Marge, we're college guys and we're up to no
- Nerd 2: I need to go to the bathroom!
Lisa: We stopped five minutes ago!
Nerd 2: Yeah, but someone knocked on the door and I couldn't go....
- Nerd 1: Hey, the pig's acting kind of funny.
He and Mr. Simpson split a case of malt liquor.
- Dean: I'm sorry, boys, I've -- I've never expelled anyone before,
..that pig had some powerful friends.
Nixon: [bitterly] Oh, you'll pay....
- Homer: Guys, believe me, I didn't mean to get you expelled.
Nerd 3: Oh, don't worry, Mr. Simpson, we can take care of ourselves....