Miscellaneous Collections

Miscellaneous Collections

Home › Fortune Cookies › Miscellaneous Collections

I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off....
I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards.
I erased all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank....
I was gonna be a barber but neurosurgery pays better.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know. -- Mark Twai
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. -- Steven Wrigh
I washed mud, off of mud. -- Steven Wrigh
I washed my edible underwear and now they're gone.
I was here and you were gone, now you are here and I'm gone!
I was hitchhiking the other day and this car trailer pulled up and offered me a ride.
He said that there was no room in the cab, but I could climb into one of the cars in the back....
I was hitting some horrible shots one time. It wasn't unusual for me.
I turned to the old guy who was caddying for me, and I said, "I suppose you've seen worse golfers in your time....

< previous

4122